The seven types of Playgrounders

[Aquagal]

They sway, they sway good. Do a reach around.

 

[BaconBot]

Angela Lansbury is decidely un-sexy. Can we get a hotter detective, like Callie Duquesne from CSI Miami?

You are incredibly mistaken.

 

[IhateClowns]

They sway, they sway good. Do a reach around.

I am not sure I want swaying breasts. Bouncing up and down breasts sound much better. Swelling breasts sound much better. Swaying breasts I am not sure about.

 

[Chaingun]

You are incredibly mistaken.

I'm going to need a time machine if I'm to get down with THAT Angela Landsbury.

 

[Offler]

Turn her over.

Bummer of an idea!

I have to take my place within the "I love the OP on this thread" chorus. Intelligent, perceptive and witty.

I have no idea what category I fall into - and the possibility of being identified as a member of a couple of them does concern me. I'll leave it for those who are getting to know me to deliver any judgement.

I also find it interesting that the replies on this thread are very much in keeping with the excellence of the original. What worries me though, as a male, is how few of these wonderfully articulate and balanced replies were actually posted by men.

 

[Jett_73]

I am obviously a horsedog.

 

[IhateClowns]

I am obviously a horsedog.

No clue what I am. It is good on you to know exactly what you are.

 

[Jett_73]

No clue what I am. It is good on you to know exactly what you are.

Or I'm a flying goat, but that doesn't seem to be one of the categories.

*shrugs*

 

[IhateClowns]

Or I'm a flying goat, but that doesn't seem to be one of the categories.

*shrugs*

Describe flying go to me. I will let you know.

 

[Jett_73]

Describe flying go to me. I will let you know.

Flying Goats

Characteristics:
Flutters about willy-nilly spreading chaos and inanity.
Bleats for no apparent reason.
Thick as two bricks when it comes to innuendo and come-ons.
Has been known to headbutt threads by accident.
Can use horns in anger (rarely) but usually more of a danger to self than others.

Prognosis: Harmless but entertaining in a I-can't-believe-he-just-kicked-himself-in-the-nuts kinda way.

Status: Self-endangered.

 

[clearlight30]

C5M

one of the damn funniest things I have read in a long time,

you yourself should be commended for bringing smirks, snickers, eye rolls, and head shakes from many reading the start of the thread...

 

[alisonwunderlnd]

A few " types" were not mentioned

 

[IhateClowns]

Flying Goats

Characteristics:
Flutters about willy-nilly spreading chaos and inanity.
Bleats for no apparent reason.
Thick as two bricks when it comes to innuendo and come-ons.
Has been known to headbutt threads by accident.
Can use horns in anger (rarely) but usually more of a danger to self than others.

Prognosis: Harmless but entertaining in a I-can't-believe-he-just-kicked-himself-in-the-nuts kinda way.

Status: Self-endangered.

Fits you quite well. Flying goat it is. What will your symbol be?

 

[Jett_73]

Fits you quite well. Flying goat it is. What will your symbol be?

Bloody hell, IHC! You're not supposed to agree with me!

You're supposed to say, 'Oh, no, Jett. You're far more sophisticated than that. A true gentleman.'
And the wimmens are supposed to be equally strident in their objections, citing my strong yet sensitive masculinity, rugged good looks and sexy Aussie charm.

Alas, it seems I am a flying goat.

Astoundingly it seems the symbol already exists!

http://pairingswineandfood.files.wordpress.com/2011/09/wine-ghetto-003-flying-goat.jpg

 

[IhateClowns]

Bloody hell, IHC! You're not supposed to agree with me!

You're supposed to say, 'Oh, no, Jett. You're far more sophisticated than that. A true gentleman.'
And the wimmens are supposed to be equally strident in their objections, citing my strong yet sensitive masculinity, rugged good looks and sexy Aussie charm.

Alas, it seems I am a flying goat.

Astoundingly it seems the symbol already exists!

http://pairingswineandfood.files.wordpress.com/2011/09/wine-ghetto-003-flying-goat.jpg

Between you, brad and slinger you guys monopolize all the wimmens already. So a little "bad press" doesn't hurt. If anything wimmens like a flying goat bad boy.

I need to figure out what category I am.

 

[Jett_73]

Between you, brad and slinger you guys monopolize all the wimmens already. So a little "bad press" doesn't hurt. If anything wimmens like a flying goat bad boy.

I need to figure out what category I am.

Goofball. You've got your very own. Lucky 7.

 

[IhateClowns]

Goofball. You've got your very own. Lucky 7.

I equate it to having a star named after me in the star registry for my birthday.

 

[Jett_73]

I equate it to having a star named after me in the star registry for my birthday.

Bloody hell, that trumps being one of the seven wonders of Lit!

There's a bit of the galaxy out there with your name on it.

 

[blulilacgrl]

Between you, brad and slinger you guys monopolize all the wimmens already. So a little "bad press" doesn't hurt. If anything wimmens like a flying goat bad boy.

I need to figure out what category I am.

Personally I prefer a flying miniature horse bad boy. Much more rare and interesting.

Bloody hell, that trumps being one of the seven wonders of Lit!

There's a bit of the galaxy out there with your name on it.

And it's a flare star! I know I was shocked as well.

 

[Thandi]

That was really funny!
Thank you for that.

 

[luvthedesserts]

Only on a site like Lit could I even come close to be in consideration for the normal category. And Just for that, I'm sending out cockatars to all you lovely ladyish ladies. Who now may or may not be ladies. I simply assumed you all were. My bad. I did the manscaping myself. Which shouldn't surprise you at all. Not with this much back hair.

P.S. This is the sexiest love letter to IHC I've ever seen. Not that he shows me any of the others. Obviously the OP is a marker. I think. Or desperate maybe. Most definitely not normal. We don't allow their kind in our club.

 

[IhateClowns]

I'm really offended by the author's use of offensive generalizations. I'd be willing to bet he's also a Republican.

Just because I'm an 18 year-old, horny, bi-sexual, gummi loving slut doesn't give him the right to lump me in with Ravi and the like. Some of do need to have sexy Lit threads like the Pussy Fuck Room so that we can get enough hot monkey sex. There just aren't enough sexually starved married men in the lonely small town I live in.

Is it really so hard to just accept me as I am - to suspend your cynical disbelief for just a little while we get to know each other a little better? No instead the author and has chosen to appoint himself the arbiter of literotic style and to put me and my friends down. It seems to happen over and over again - the put-downs from female Litsters jealous of my copious sexuality and men who just can't handle women like me - confident in their own sexuality.

Well I've had enough of this discrimination and hatred. I'll take my charms back over to Fet-Life where they are truly appreciated.

Has anyone come forth and claimed this alt?

 

[AltyssaQ]

Has anyone come forth and claimed this alt?

No one

 

[C5MiGuy]

I'm still maintaining that AltQ is IHC.

 

[IhateClowns]

No one

Just wondered. A lot of people thought it was me which it isn't.

Carry on.