THE STALKING

[Womanlover]

Paddy O'Limmerick

That Muffin she went an' stuck me,
with Nekkie and she won't fuck me!
Oh Muffin me lass,
I'll take pussy or ass,
she's a Fillie who thinks she can buck me!

[Edited by womanlover on 09-11-2000 at 02:05 PM]

 

[Womanlover]

Must give the guy points for being funny i do believe but my address dear now you really are dreaming!!

Oh, naked hunny, please give me a little poke......! I just want to soak a little in your nice warm juice!

 

[Naked Hunny]

Sorry not today womanlover completely not in the mood!!

 

[Womanlover]

Hmmmmmmmmmm..........oh well, I'm going to go there anyway..........let's see, mmmmmmmm yes, nice, hot, juicy, 20 year old Naked Hunny pussy is now wrapped tightly around my pole practising her darling kegels..........ahhhhhhhhhh, nice!

 

[Naked Hunny]

Sweetie i dont have to practice my kegels im naturally tight!!

 

[Womanlover]

JEAN CLAUDE IS PISSED OFF

Nakked Unny, did dat bassard WomanLUVAIRE rapping you??? I body sheck dat guy over da centre Heiss board for you eh??

Eh, Unny Bunn.........I try to touch tongue wid dat froggy you keep sendING........now dat monitor ere she need cleaning eh??? Heh heh, Jean Claude is a silly Bassard to try to lick dat froggy eh?

[Edited by womanlover on 09-11-2000 at 02:28 PM]

 

[Womanlover]

New Verd Studee for Muffin, by Walter Stoyanovich

New Verd studee from Vagina, Saskatchewan.

Verd in kvestion: CLITORIS, Ukrainian/Canadian spellingk is CLITAURIS

CLITAURIS: Dat vuz dinosaur long time ago livingk an' men afraid of dat bastud wid big teeth havingk.......men not understandingk Clitauris.......scary to him and worst one be CLITAURIS REX........dat meen KING of Clitauris! To all men, REMEMBER CLITAURIS!!!

 

[KillerMuffin]

Lets hear it for kegelsizing, better than jazzersize

aawwww Nekkie luv, kegels are important, not now, but later in life a good regimen of kegels can prevent incontincence. Not to mention you can go from naturally tight to totally anaconda on the ol' manaconda. Vaginal muscular control is a wonder to behold, particularly if you're the guy laying sprawled on the bed with your tongue hanging out, eyes crossed and screaming oh my gawd where did you learn to do THAT????? To the casual observer you seem to be sitting there motionless with a smirk on your face...

 

[Womanlover]

Keggle me Muffin, honey!!!!

 

[KillerMuffin]

Heheheheh

 

[Womanlover]

New Verd Studee for MUFFIN!!!

by Walter Stoyanovich

Verds or frazes in kvestion:


SUBORDINATE CLAUS: dat is elf vut is helpingk Santa!

NACHO CHEESE: dat is cheese vut not belongk to you!

POLAROIDS: dat is vut Eskimo get from too long on ice sittingk!

PSYCHOPATH: dat is trail crazy person takingk through forest!

QUATRO SINKO: dat is four bullfiters in qvicksand.

 

[Womanlover]

BEVERLY LEE DAVIS TRIES HIS HAND AT A POEM

HORNY BLACK ORMROD

by Beverly Lee Davis

Horny Black Ormrod gawt sucked into a wormhole,
whar in a parellall world, ther was naked blonde girls,
long harred big buxummed an beeyoutiful!

They saw him and seezed him,
they pinched him an' skaweezed him,
they dragged Horny Ormrod an' tied him to a bed.

Excitedly, they stripped him,
then they all began to lick him,
they licked Horny Ormrod from his toes up to his head.

He sayed: "YO BAYBY!!!!" But his black forehead frowned,
when he saw the Blonde Beeyouties pass the forks and knives around.

An' Horny Black Ormrod, knew he run his luck,
cuz he' fallen into a meetin' of:

The Nazi, Areeyan, Feminist, Beauty Queen, Sadistic Extreme Faction of the Dark Meat Lover's Cannibal Club!!!

[Edited by womanlover on 09-12-2000 at 09:45 AM]

 

[Womanlover]

Roderick Lipton, english professor, gives Editor, Killer Muffin lessons in Plurals

PLURAL

by Roderick Lipton, Ph.D, professor of English, University of Spuzzum, B.C.

If the plural of mouse is mice,
then shouldn't two spouse be spice?
If a number of louse be lice,
then shouldn't three house be hice?
If the many of goose be geese,
let the many of moose be meese!
Let blouses be blice,
for spice in their hice,
and two of caboose be cabeese!

 

[Naked Hunny]

Muff sweetie trust me i can milk a cock with the best of them!!

 

[KillerMuffin]

No doubt you can Nekkie my darlin

 

[Naked Hunny]

Ok i think we have officially lost our minds!!

 

[KillerMuffin]

We are on page 13 of a thread in the STORY FEEDBACK section of this board and we are talking about milking cocks with our vaginal muscles with a psychotic multiple personality canucklehead. OF COURSE we are out of our minds.

 

[Naked Hunny]

What is my thing for canucks lately if I may ask?

 

[KillerMuffin]

I really have no idea. Of course, I have something of a thing for some canucks as well. I know a particularly sexy canuck over on IRC that I once spent 10 hours and I lost count of the orgasms with well... nevermind.

 

[Naked Hunny]

Well while the cats away the mouse will play hehe!!

 

[Womanlover]

HELMUT KRAUSS

I haff yust been offer to zat CHENERAL BOARD to giff my views unt I cum back hera to find zat ziss........ziss..........Nakked Hunny Kreature has written some sreads......unt vonce akain, she hass left zat schtoopid frock off hers.......schticking out hiss schtoopid tongue!!!!

 

[Womanlover]

NEW VERD STUDEE FOR MUFFIN BY WALTER STOYANOVICH

For the sake of clarity, I, Womanlover have translated Walter's word study which comes to you direct from Regina, Saskatchewan. *Tongue is in cheek for most of this, but wishing it were inserted somewhere in a warm juicy place of your anatomy*

Word in Question: Alliteration

Alliteration: the repetition of the same letter at the beginning of TWO or more words immediately succeeding each other OR at short intervals.............THE NEW WEBSTER ENCYLOPEDIC DICTIONARY of the ENGLISH LANGUAGE (including constellations of the Northern and Southern Hemispheres, copyright MCMLXXVII............MCMLII.

Second word in question: SEVERAL

Several: "comes from the french (Jean CLaude confirms) severer.......to separate (note sp.here)to cut........consequently, not common to two or more, in this sense, chiefly a LAW term...........it is more than two, but not very many......."

Muffin, sweet,darlin,American, honey goddess, do we want such free spirited artistic tools such as figures of speech to be governed by fucking LEGAL TERMS????? DUHHHHHH!!!!!

Consider, even though the great poems of history have been written using great multiplicities of alliterations and rhyme schemes, (you yourself derided the great Iambic Pentametre) and we DO acknowledge that for their time, they were unsurpassed, blah blah, no one in English Literature, year 2000 is writing like that! Suffice it to say that so many would be sickened by the simple repetition so many such silly consonants! You can hardly find one in a thousand who will even rhyme a fucking couplet nowadays............why? I have no idea! Like this is poetry:

I see a leaf,
and somehow I feel
transported.....to levels of

let's see, um...........GREENNESS!

Some even deliberately AVOID rhyming...........so I said all that to say, let's cut the L.A. Law of literature. But if you want to split hairs about it, then the Webster's source I consulted says that it CAN be two or more and the letter is ZED dammit ZED!!!

*sings little kid tune*

"Na na na na na na na na na na na na"

P.S. The number of Americans who can teach Canadians english grammar or literature, is in equal proportion to the number of Canadians who can teach Clint Eastwood how to speed load a .44 magnum. If this were not true, then why,as I type this posting, are Canadian teachers being offered a $30,000 bonus to leave Canada and teach in California.........and don't say it is because they are going to sacrifice them in Watts, because "we all" know about that place.....and we know that the hockey rink ain't there.... it is in Anaheim, and the dumb Canuckleheads would die of starvation trying to find their way to it on L.A.'s freeway system.

Besides, even if our teachers had to go to Watts, or any other tough district, we'd have them damn minorities laughing so fucking hard they'd forget all about their idiotic colours and they'd start having a good time for a change.

Damn! We'd hoped that exporting that whole SNL brand of humour from Toronto might have helped to lighten the tensions in Amarica! Up here we have been THREATENING to separate since the beginning........you guys HAVE BEEN separated from the beginning......but mind you, I don't blame you for having separated from that stoopid, fucking monarchy of England.........good move, American cousins. It has cost us dearly for having remained "loyal" achem, to the crown, and I have got to agree with a quote from the Clint Eastwood movie, UNFORGIVEN........"We won't be needin' no Kings nor Queens around here, I reckon.....!"

Finally, the above opinion in no way diminishes how I feel about sweet, darlin, American, honey pie women whom I adore so much, nor for that matter, the American people as my friends, neighbours, and relatives. And anyone who talks derogatorially against my southern friends is asking for a black eye, that's a fact, and regardless of whatever bullshit you may or may not have heard to the contrary, it is the way the MAJORITY of us north of the border feel. The United States of America, is still the best example of a democracy that the world has seen, and now that you have Gretzky, fuck, I'm moving there..........is there any sweet darlin, American honey pie who'll marry womanlover so he can stay longer than six months at a time???

Reminder note from Walter: Possessive of Womanlover is Womanlover's..........and of Webster, is Webster's......now sorry, but there is a grammatical LAW involved here!

 

[Strange Girl]

( walks into room, unties short terrycloth robe, opens robe to expose trim, naked female body, soft fur, inny navel, tight little buns, medium breasts with hard nipples,)

"I'm here for my allover licking, Womanlover."

 

[Naked Hunny]

You have fur? SO Cheyenne hasnt gotten ahold of ya yet huh?

 

[Womanlover]

( walks into room, unties short terrycloth robe, opens robe to expose trim, naked female body, soft fur, inny navel, tight little buns, medium breasts with hard nipples,)

"I'm here for my allover licking, Womanlover."

Eh, Strange Girl, eet is me, Jean Claude!!! Dat WomanLOVAIRE is not 'ere, so I give you dat lickING an' I begin wid your cute "inny" navel.......you know, I got one of dem too!

Eh!!! Where did dat Muffin go?