The Tides

[Rybka]

Re: All Cheer Tide

Rybka,

Where'd you get the idea for "All Cheer Tide!"? I thought that was very cool.

Long time ago I wrote "Of(f) Cours(ing) Key", but that was the start of a novel. The goal was something like what you've done, but I didn't come anywhere as close as you.

Any more?

dr_m, Glad you finally liked some thing on this board!
I like to play with words, colors, fonts, and spacing, etc.
I consider such things as an integral as the words in context. (Actually, I consider these things as an equal part of the context.)

I posted the poem here because the main poem board cannot handle non-basic formatting.

Most of the regulars on this forum are fairly decent writers of poetry and honest and open folk if you give them a chance. If you really want to argue poetry with someone who cuts no slack, but is an honest and valuable voice, give a shout for Senna Jawa. (He may eat you for lunch!)

Regards,                       Rybka

 

[JUDO]

(Knees spread against the rails, the deep cold surrounds my feet, but weary, I can't be...)


Crossroads of the Aleutian Beast

Far from the blurry blue horizon,
I await his passing.
My eyes, trained from years on watch,
Pick the good from the weak.

Cold and wet, I straddled the ride,
Bobbing with the whims of Alaskan winds.
Hair plastered to my face
And body tensed for what is to come.

"A peak, a hollow, there to the left!"
I reach forward, pulling the Pacific past me,
Following the current which swims before
The mightiest of Neptune's sons.

He rises on the heels of his brothers --
Towering slope speeding to intercept
The paths of many who would tame him.
Their shouts will go unheeded.

Wit-sparked knowledge he respects.
Abilities are present and understood
Or else you will be lost
In the machinery beneath the blue.

Grit and strength grind my shoulders.
With great heat, I pull.
The beast seeks to break down upon me,
But my ride bites into his face.

To the right, we parry the falls.
I roll, then tuck low to fend off the wash
Chattering across the texture of threats,
The walls crash down, tumbling with haste.

Collapsing in defeat, he spits me forth
Into dazzling sunlighted spray.
I raise my arms to triumphal glory
As we have lived to ride another day.

 

[HomerPindar]

Less in the manner of poetry about the sea, or the waves of activity here on the forums, these three poems are noteworthy as being written in the last twenty-four hours ~ a sudden upswell of poetry, if you will.

Buttons
the top button slips loose
another undone as we kiss
a third nearly fumbled
through gropping fingers
undoing the fourth
and loosening your skirt
the fifth and sixth I
cannot recall, popped
loose in a
rush

Throw Away
I threw away
a first draft
crumbled trash
time again
another friend
that chance to mend
boots
cracked flute
a sacrifice
melted ice
that pic you liked
of us that night
peace
a wish to sleep
(insomnia I'll keep)
that interview next week
me, just me
that was all I threw away
today

ForEverMergingOnToTheExitRampOfLust
the kiss is deviant
for it is not needed
we could do without
as I can do all I need within
but within is not without
its own needs, no doubt
so before I go in
let us both begin
by being deviant throughout

*gets back in his life raft and pushes off again*
HomerPindar

 

[Angeline]

Nice Poems Homer!

The blues are good for you! And I like your new AV.

 

[HomerPindar]

Re: Nice Poems Homer!

The blues are good for you! And I like your new AV.

chuckle, being depressed is rarely good for anyone... but I do like getting over it

ahhhh, you like my satyr little girl...?

HomerPindar

 

[Angeline]

Oh My

is that what that is?

how satyrical.

 

[WickedEve]

I don't have a new sea/wave poem but I have a lake poem I wrote last night. Hey, it's water!

Lily Lake

she lay in wait
still without a ripple

giggling girls with small breasts
and curls
lay vanity upon her smooth surface
till she contorts their faces

they run away -
crying tears -
from lily lake

young men
with wide shoulders
and broad laughter
come

they dive deep
ripple and stir her

then go to girls
with curls
wrap them in splashes

where they've been
girls know,
lily lake gave those boys
twisted faces

 

[JUDO]

I don't have a new sea/wave poem but I have a lake poem I wrote last night. Hey, it's water!

Lily Lake

I like the word choices, the simplicity, the rhythm, but what am I missing? Must be something obvious -- I get lost with the "twisted faces" and "lay vanity upon her smooth surface."


- Judo

 

[WickedEve]

I like the word choices, the simplicity, the rhythm, but what am I missing? Must be something obvious -- I get lost with the "twisted faces" and "lay vanity upon her smooth surface."


- Judo

LOL... the night I wrote it I sent it to my poet friend and told him that I had no idea what it was about!
"lay vanity upon her smooth surface" I pictured the young women being vain and looking into the lake... their reflections... their vanity is laid on her smooth surface. And the lake is a bit of a meanie. She contorts their faces with... ripples, I suppose, and sends them away crying. Then young men dive into her and leave her to go be with those girls. I guess this pisses lily lake off and she lets the girls know that the men have been with her by twisting their faces the way she did their reflections. Now doesn't that make perfect sense?

 

[JUDO]

LOL... the night I wrote it I sent it to my poet friend and told him that I had no idea what it was about!
"lay vanity upon her smooth surface" I pictured the young women being vain and looking into the lake... their reflections... their vanity is laid on her smooth surface. And the lake is a bit of a meanie. She contorts their faces with... ripples, I suppose, and sends them away crying. Then young men dive into her and leave her to go be with those girls. I guess this pisses lily lake off and she lets the girls know that the men have been with her by twisting their faces the way she did their reflections. Now doesn't that make perfect sense?

Oh, I see. Then, you need something to really let the reader know that the way the boys faces remain twisted after they leave Lily Lake is different from the twisting she does to the girls.

"Lay vanity on her smooth surface?" Hmmm...

If her surface is smooth, then where do the ripples come from?

How about:

"Search her chromed waters vainly"

Or...

"Borrow vanity from her crystal surface"

With this, I get a better picture of reflection and why they are looking that doesn't get in the way of ripples twisting the results. Okay?


- Judo

 

[WickedEve]

"Lay vanity on her smooth surface?" Hmmm...

If her surface is smooth, then where do the ripples come from?

In S1 it says:
"she lay in wait
still without a ripple"

I think this (possibly) tells you that she's like a snake, coiled and not rattling, waiting for a victim. And this tell you that she's no ordinary lake. She's smooth and calm appearing, then strike! She ripples and contorts their faces! Now isn't that exciting? lol

Okay, some things in the poem need clearing up. But I still like my snake/lake explanation, though.

 

[JUDO]

In S1 it says:
"she lay in wait
still without a ripple"

I think this (possibly) tells you that she's like a snake, coiled and not rattling, waiting for a victim. And this tell you that she's no ordinary lake. She's smooth and calm appearing, then strike! She ripples and contorts their faces! Now isn't that exciting? lol

Okay, some things in the poem need clearing up. But I still like my snake/lake explanation, though.

I like it, too, but your poem is missing the strike! The moment of getting bitten. The second stanza kind of passes through that moment:

giggling girls with small breasts and curls
lay vanity upon her smooth surface
till she contorts their faces

Maybe just a word (to complete the snake image?):

giggling girls with small breasts and curls
lay vanity upon her smooth surface
till she uncoils, contorting their faces

???
- Judo

 

[WickedEve]

I like it, too, but your poem is missing the strike! The moment of getting bitten. The second stanza kind of passes through that moment:

giggling girls with small breasts and curls
lay vanity upon her smooth surface
till she contorts their faces

Maybe just a word (to complete the snake image?):

giggling girls with small breasts and curls
lay vanity upon her smooth surface
till she uncoils, contorting their faces

???
- Judo

Uncoils... or a similar word does work. I'm still not sure about the guys with twisted faces... hmmm...

 

[JUDO]

Perhaps introducing a mystical or magical ability to Lily would help with the deformation of the boys at the end.

Lily Lake

mystic silence --
she lay in wait
still without a ripple

giggling girls with small breasts
and curls
lay vanity upon her smooth surface
till she uncoils to contorts their faces

they run away -
crying tears -
from mystic lily

Chiseled faces of
young men
with wide shoulders
and broad laughter
come charging

they dive deep
ripple and stir

then leave for girls
with curls
wrap them in splashes

where they've been
girls fear,
magic Lily gave those boys
twisted faces

* * *

Another thought -- a magical lake. Sort've like something out of an Arthurian tale.

 

[WickedEve]

Perhaps introducing a mystical or magical ability to Lily would help with the deformation of the boys at the end.

Lily Lake

mystic silence --
she lay in wait
still without a ripple

giggling girls with small breasts
and curls
lay vanity upon her smooth surface
till she uncoils to contorts their faces

they run away -
crying tears -
from mystic lily

Chiseled faces of
young men
with wide shoulders
and broad laughter
come charging

they dive deep
ripple and stir

then leave for girls
with curls
wrap them in splashes

where they've been
girls fear,
magic Lily gave those boys
twisted faces

* * *

Another thought -- a magical lake. Sort've like something out of an Arthurian tale.

yes, that's an improvement. The reader can see now that this a magic lake. I'm going to make some of those changes and submit. Thank you, Judo. I'll fluff your pillows for this.

 

[HomerPindar]

This is now the second poem I've written in the margins of Ulysses:

...Dead Poets. Bring Out Your Dead Poets. Bring Out...

The body of art crawled up from the dirt
be it a Denom on a tear?
Aiming low against the commoner?
Cad! Cod eyes, can you not see the art from the dead?
Shake off it's loam
hop on its hip
boned
slamed
forced down your own rear end
and watch us dig up this grave art
on shoved L's
spades, spics, spans
wash your hands
(4) on it, (3) hoist, (2) dust, (1)
words

HomerPindar

 

[WickedEve]

Lily Lake Revision

I rewrote this poem last night. It looks better when it's centered.

She lay in wait -
still without a ripple
till impudent girls
lay vanity on her smooth surface.

She uncoils to contort their faces.

Girls with tears
make swift steps
from Mystic Lily.

Young men
with wide shoulders
and broad laughter
come charging.

They dive deep
with stone faces -
ripple and stir Lily,

then leave for girls
with curls
to wrap them in splashes.

Where they've been,
girls know.
Mystic Lily gave those boys
twisted faces.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

1.

I speak of shorelines joined
by traces of sun across the page
of sea I speak

of mountains vigilant expectant
where memories draft themselves
in barren sub aqua undergrowth I speak

of stone illogical resonant vegetable
metaphor of caravels polished in shadow
by the inexorable pulse of time

 

[HomerPindar]

Just to keep these waters flowing....

Samuel Beckett haunts my bathroom.
words
politely contort
print your liveink self
around my
center RE: 20something
shove more paper
down in there
Glow! Clean!
done here
fade and disappear
flush
(damn toilet)
flush again


HomerPindar

 

[JUDO]

A long morning walk along the rippled shore to the distant rocks beyond the dunes...


The Glow of Turbulent Flow

'Neath rock cliffs shrouded in mist
Where gulls catch free rides
For touch-and-go,

I saw two lovers of salt and sea
Caressing each deeply
Above the briny flow.

From mountains she came,
Singing songs of lillies and dales --
Bright with Nature's mask,
Blushed with sky.

From endless horizons he lived
For want of a home he'd never known,
Wrapped with his kelp of curls
As deep as mountain high.

Awed by their embrace,
I flew to the cliffs above
To view the stark, turbulant emotion

And a shiver shook my heart
As I realized the endless love
Of a river, kissing the deep, blue ocean.

An infinite embrace doth bind our soul
Homogenous as one fast to the whole.

 

[JUDO]

A sonnet for surfing mermaids everywhere...


A Dream of Ocean Wine

As the first taste of salty flesh flowed down,
I thought of my first glimpse of tender feast.
In hot sun, stretched 'neath nylon, center creased,
Pale wetness peeked between legs golden brown.

Two legs spread o'er long board that bobbed on waves
And smile above, an invite to a dream.
Her hair was blonde with breasts a golden cream.
The mouth said "Hi." The mind fulfilled my craves.

That night, we kissed and sank in naked lust --
Too quick my heart beat strong with new desire
As she made love to me, I stretched like wire
And broke apart on rocks that I could trust.

I slipped between those legs and drank the brine
That flowed between my lips like ageless wine.