The Topping From the Bottom Poll

[the captians wench]

want some Icy Hot?

*pout*

 

[FurryFury]

Okay, I've put some serious thought into this, no one faint now, and I think I've come up with an opionion. Topping is a verb, the action to top, which is a position but is some times used to refure to the more dominate of the participants involved. To have a top in this senerio one would almost deffinitly have to have a bottom. But these two terms are both very broad terms used by many in many different ways. If you do not consider yourself to be a bottom then there can be no place to top from by way the question is frazed. Then again, if he doesn't consider himself a top, then there is no one to try and go over so to speak. So if you're no bottom, and he's no top then to top from the bottem would be impossible because there is no bottom or top. You're just two people having fun and that's how it should be


have I made any since at all? I tried really hard this time and my head hurts.

Aww!

*pats head gently, then gives full scalp massage*

I happen to agree with you and yes, you do make sense IMO!

Fury

The second part of my post was not directed at you, or saying you say 'what ff is'. I did not understand your post as if you were doing so. It was some general thoughts to the question asked by




If one tries to put others into any categories, yes, it's hard to place you. And after Pure's post and my continuation of his thoughts confusing me a lot, it's not to be wondered at. I did not mean to offend or insult anyone.
It seems to be worth much that not liking labels is so very popular around here. Trying to label oneself is hard, but trying to label others is close to impossible.

I understand what you are saying! Thanks for contributing your ideas to my thread.

Fury

 

[FurryFury]

hi chris,

there are a couple qualifications I should have added

C: Pure, with the same logic one can also say that when Fury does Domly things to her husband, because he wants her to, then she is in fact 'bottoming',

new form:
Pure's sentence revised: if hubby's wants are the [added: active and] primary determinant in an encounter, [added: and he is seeing to it that they are such], then he is topping.

P: Your example is unclear on a couple points. If he is saying "these are my wants" and you are to meet them, and she accedes --be it whatever role, e.g., whipping or being whipped-- then his wants are, as I said, the primary determinant and further they are actively promoted.

The question for 'topping' is 'who is in charge' or 'who's calling the shots' *and this can only be the case if the two persons are opering on an agreement that essentially puts them both--i.e. jointly-- (in which case, one may equally well say, 'no one is in charge').

It's in fact a tricky question, just as it's hard to see, in a couple, who is 'in charge'.

Looking at a variant of your example: My dog, when hungry, starts sniffing around the floor, looking for crumbs. If I see that, i feed him. In a sense then, his desires have 'called the shot,' since he's fed accordingly.

If Furry simply notices or knows hubby wants something, such as a dish of ice cream, and she decides to get it for him, it looks as if his wants are determining what happens, and in a sense they are.

In a larger sense, however, something else *may* be happening, as one sees played out in the sitcoms, like "Raymond." IF one partner has a plan to get what she (for example) wants, such as for example a new car, she may decide to cater to the other, to 'butter him up', and even 'serve' him before he asks. But in fact, she is in charge. AS is the farmer in 'fattening the goose,' in the classic tales.

Arguably I'm in charge of the dog, too, since I've decided and committed to look after him so he has a good life. Given that's my plan, I feed by a schedule, but also I look for signs of hunger, and when I see them, I almost always feed him. So, in the terms I've added at the beginning, his desires do determine things, but not because they are actively asserted. I'm observing them, and in fact it's my active choice to act on the observation, i.e., meet that want.

There, clear as mud!

LOL! Clear as mud huh!

*giggles*

Thanks for continuing the conversation!

Fury

want some Icy Hot?

Sure, I'd try some! I'll try almost anything once, twice or three times, at least.

Fury

Sorry, Pure, I think I'm too tired to be understanding much of this. I'll try again tomorrow, if I manage to keep my eyes open after the exam to read anything (not likely ) Or I come back saturday. I feel like I could understand something and actually agree. Not now though. Good night.

Good luck on your exams Sugah!

Fury

 

[the captians wench]

Aww!

*pats head gently, then gives full scalp massage*

I happen to agree with you and yes, you do make sense IMO!

Fury

*purr*

*snuggles* thank you.

 

[FurryFury]

*purr*

*snuggles* thank you.

Any ole time Sugah!

*grins*

Fury

 

[FurryFury]

So recently my husband had three days/nights off. We had a lot to do during that time but I figured we'd scene or at least fuck once!!!

No such luck.

I was sooooo pissed off. It occurred to me that these things just aren't his priority the way they are for me. That made me REALLY sad.

*repeats mantra over and over*

"I will NOT be needy. I will NOT be needy. I am a grown woman. I can take care of myself."

I wondered if perhaps I'd been too available for him.

This month is just busy as hell with work for us both and other things.

Anyway the next time he was off he grabbed me in the kitchen and told me how interested he was into "doing something."

That made me happy but a spiteful part of me thought, what if he doesn't get it and has to wait the way I did Monday night.

Sure enough, he didn't make it happen and by the time we were alone last night he was too tired.

I honestly didn't care and kind of thought it was good for him. Am I a bitch or what?

I told him, if he wants it to happen he needs to think about it and schedule it or it won't.

That's just another way of saying, check your priorities damnit! I REALLY feel he needs to do that.

We will see what happens the rest of today and tonight. So far he has blown MOST of the day.

Thank god I can in part, take care of myself. *SMILES*

*pouts*

*feels confused - then has to go pee*

Fury

 

[SpectreT]

Okay, I tried to read all this, but my attention span is not what it used to be, back when I read thirty pages of a thread just to make sure my observations and questions hadn't already been addressed.

Posts have gotten jumbled in my mind, and I'm not sure if what I'm going to say has been said or not.

Here's my take first on the original question:

Nope. If it isn't formalized, agreed and in-scene (Don't anyone make me get pedantic enough to discuss exactly what I mean by 'in-scene'; you wouldn't like me when I'm pedantic...) Topping from the bottom can't take place.

The situation you described in your earlier posts sounded more like a Dominant issuing instructions to her submissive, if it were formalized and in-scene. Some folks play in a manner that seems upside down; Dom(me)s who like getting tied down and fucked hard, that sort of thing, with the submissive performing as a service to the dominant.

Which just confuses your question more, I know.

Some guys are just overly sensitive and chivalrous, especially in this post-feminist world. They've got a lifetime of training to overcome to just grab their woman and haul her around the way she might need. Some guys can get over it, some guys don't have anything to get over. Me; I'm the chivalrous type, so I know what kind of barriers are there; fortunately, all it takes is some simple communication for me to overcome those barriers. Your hubby might not have such movable inhibitions. If you can, really sit down and hash this out.

You're going through cycles of frustration, and it sounds like he's oblivious. I know that one, too. Obtuse should be my middle name, sometimes. That's why I'm big on open, honest, no bullshit, no saying one thing and meaning anything more than what was said, word for word, communication. No implications, no hints or innuendos, just absolute, unblinking straight shooting.

Implications, hints, and meaning more than the actual words spoken are skills men will never have; we don't think that way, and we don't hear words that aren't spoken, either. We're not wired to think that way. It's the one rift between the sexes that will never be bridged, I'm sure.

 

[FurryFury]

SpectreT, thanks for your ideas and advice on this. I totally agree with you that there is nothing so effective or that has as much power as good communication. I also agree that I'm not topping from the bottom. *grins*

I'm a pretty damned straight shooter. It's very rare when someone I care about doesn't know exactly where they stand with me. When that happens it usually means they are projecting their own crappy emotional history into our relationship but we all do that at times, don't we?

There are also times when I'm not ready or just can't talk about a particular thing. I'm thankful that I am not in a relationship where the other person
can't accept that. He doesn't call it evil either. He will let me wait until I can talk without the momentary emotional pain speaking in bad ways that can't be taken back.

So that means, I'm not a perfect communicator. Hey! Maybe someone should take me to task for not being perfect. Oops! Too late! The world already does that! That problem does have natural consequences. LOL!

Fury

 

[SpectreT]

Again, these are just opinions...

I just re-re-read the post immediately above my first entry here, and I missed a sentence - the one where he indicated interest, then forgot about it. That's a "calling on the carpet" offense, in my book. Kind of thing that needs to be addressed. When it happens. The puppy principle. And tell him, "Check your priorities, damnit!" Tell him it's from me, if you want.

And I didn't say anything about being a perfect communicator; I've just been in one relationship where miscommunication, rather, lack of open and blunt communication, caused the whole thing to just fizzle out. I've seen it happen to others, so I dragged out the soapbox. If that's not the situation, I apologize for bouncing my $0.02 off your noggin. It wasn't intended to be patronizing.

 

[FurryFury]

I just re-re-read the post immediately above my first entry here, and I missed a sentence - the one where he indicated interest, then forgot about it. That's a "calling on the carpet" offense, in my book. Kind of thing that needs to be addressed. When it happens. The puppy principle. And tell him, "Check your priorities, damnit!" Tell him it's from me, if you want.

And I didn't say anything about being a perfect communicator; I've just been in one relationship where miscommunication, rather, lack of open and blunt communication, caused the whole thing to just fizzle out. I've seen it happen to others, so I dragged out the soapbox. If that's not the situation, I apologize for bouncing my $0.02 off your noggin. It wasn't intended to be patronizing.

I didn't call him on the carpet exactly because I knew he was under a lot of stress just then but later I did give him the idea that maybe he should make things happen if he wanted them too.

I never thought you were saying my communication had to be perfect. I was indulging in a bit self flagellation, sorta! LOL!

No need to apologize!

We finally worked some time in tonight. Supper will be late but frankly my dear, I don't give a damn! *L*

He does see great improvement in my knots~ Woo hoo!

Fury

 

[au_man]

As with SpectreT I didn't go through all the posts.

Now my situation may be different and your milage may very, but 90% of the time I am a Dom/Top, but I do switch for my wife couse she loves strap on sex...

When she has had all the thrusting and orgasms she can handle then she rolls over and I ride her to my orgasm.

So that 10% of the time I submit for her and she tells me to ride her she it topping me from the bottom...

Just my humble opinion...

 

[FurryFury]

As with SpectreT I didn't go through all the posts.

Now my situation may be different and your milage may very, but 90% of the time I am a Dom/Top, but I do switch for my wife couse she loves strap on sex...

When she has had all the thrusting and orgasms she can handle then she rolls over and I ride her to my orgasm.

So that 10% of the time I submit for her and she tells me to ride her she it topping me from the bottom...

Just my humble opinion...

Because y'all have established roles and because y'all both consider ass fucking a submissive thing?

Fury

 

[FurryFury]

So I know some of what I want now.

He knows as much of it as I do.

I'm not as willing to plan, lead and so on whether that is just to see if he gives a fuck and will lead or I'm just creatively drained and apathetic, I'm not sure.

Lately, I've been finding myself resisting a lot. I'm not sure why. I think he enjoys it when I do. I think he likes how hard I'll fight something and having to really make me do it. Fighting isn't my normal thing.

This is just something that comes over me sometimes. If feel like resisting and I do resist even though I may crave what he is attempting. I'm puzzling over it. Does anyone have an idea why someone who normally wouldn't fight anything would suddenly be doing this?

Fury

 

[red_river_dude]

dang the poll is closed oh well. anyway i would have voted with the majority.

 

[FurryFury]

dang the poll is closed oh well. anyway i would have voted with the majority.

Well, damn.

I have a new poll here:

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=497006

On the "scary GB" that's not quite so close to my tender heart.

Fury

 

[LadyC]

On two occasions, I permitted my minion Billy-boy to play the dominant role: once I place myself under his control for an evening. I found the experiment interesting and gave me a better knowledge of the pleasure he derived from serving me. I actually enjoyed the sting of the bamboo when he belabored my behind, and I came when he "raped" me. And when he "forced" me to bathe him with my mouth after he had come in me, I tried to masturbate. He slapped my hands away from my pussy. But as interesting as the experience was, I'll remain dominant.

The second occasion I allowed him to assume a dominant role, was not with me. Friday was his birthday and as a gift, I allowed him a full day with my female minion Kay at a cabin in the Catskills where he Master her. This was also her gift to him. They returned yesterday afternoon. Billy-boy was exhausted; Kay was elated. Billy-boy will be adding a post about it soon for any one who may be interested.

 

[FurryFury]

Those sound like interesting explorations!

 

[Bill3250]

Birthday Gift

Thank you LadyC for such a wonderful birthday gift.

Kay and I drove to her cabin in the Catskills in her husband's New Yorker. As we were driving toward the Thruway, I order her to strip and kneel on the floor, and once on her knees, she was to open my trousers and take out my cock. It was semi-hard at the thought of what was to occur that day, and as she lifted it from my trousers, it hardened completely. Before I could say: "Suck it!" the knob was in her mouth and her lips were sliding slowly down the shaft. She gagged as my cock nudged into her throat. She paused, but only briefly, only long enough to catch her breath, then her lips continued down the length of my shaft until the entire cock was in her mouth, in her throat. Kay would have taken me all the way to an orgasm if I had allowed her to, but I did not.

It was going to be a long day filled with pleasures rare to me and I wanted to be on the verge of an orgasm most of the time. I told her to occupy herself by kissing and licking my balls and cock while I was driving. She started to speak, perhaps to protest. I silenced her with a slap. It was a rather gentle slap, but hard enough to tell her the sound of her voice was not wanted, and she remained silent throughout the hour or so were were on the road.

Upon reaching the cabin, I had Kay gather up the clothing and take them into the house, then she should return for the luggage - one small suitcase, and the riding crop and bamboo switch LadyC had loaned me. Kay was, of course, still naked and my erect cock was thrusting through my fly. in the cabin, I ordered Kay to kneel and kiss my cock. As she obeyed, I told her that for the duration of our stay at the cabin, she would call me Sir William, to which she replied, "Yes Master." I slapped her, harder this time, and she corrected herself: "Yes, Sir William."

"Bring me the outfit Lady Claire bought me!" I ordered, "Then help me change." The outfit was all black leather - riding britches, vest and boots. Once dressed, I ordered Kay to kneel on all fours on the bed and offer her ass, a beautiful ass, nicely shaped and decorated with LadyC's letter "C" the way my ass is decorated. I caressed her ass for a few moments, running my fingers over the smooth flesh, trailing one finger along the dusky furrow between the cheeks of her ass and then forcing it into the tight hole.

Kay trembled. A tiny gasp escaped her lips. I gave her ass a swat with the palm of my hand and then I took the finger from her ass and held it under her nose. I pressed it to her lips. She reluctantly opened her mouth and sucked it. I dried my finger by rubbing it across her face and picked up the bamboo switch. Without warning, I struck. The switched hissed cutting through the air and snapped as it struck Kay's ass....hiss; snap....hiss; snap. Every time the switch struck her ass, Kay's body shuddered and her full, hanging breasts swung from side.

After several lashes, I tossed the switch aside and got on the bed behind Kay. For a second, I considered fucking her tight anus, but I couldn't bring myself to subject her to that much pain. I directed my cock into her pussy. It was open and wet, and when I reached around and touched he clit, it was rock hard. I pinched it. Kay moaned. It wasn't a painful cry; she was coming. She pressed back against me and pulled forward, then back and forward again and again and I was coming. I roared! I pulled her hair! I bit her neck and her shoulder, and jet after jet of thick, warm cum spurted into her suctioning pussy.

When I pulled out an lay back, exhausted, I noticed the cum running from Kay's pussy, dripping onto the bed and running down her thigh. I don't know if what I did next was a proper reaction for a master, but I didn't give a damn. I wanted it. I pulled Kay over me and licked the semen from her thighs and then pressed my mouth to her dripping pussy and started to siphon my semen from Kay just as her mouth closed around my cock. I allowed her to suck my cock until I had finished enjoy the mingling flavors from her pussy, then I pushed her away.

I neglected to mention that the riding britches had a removable flap over my groin which left my cock and balls free. I decided to leave it off after I had used Kay so she might kneel and worship my cock with her lips and tongue from time to time during that afternoon, in much the same way I worship LadyC's pussy. The full effect of what was happening sunk in. God! I was the Master and I felt the thrill of power, the elation of having control of another person and these sensations intensified when I placed the collar around Kay's throat and attached the leash to it.

Ordering Kay off the bed, I had her stay on all fours like a doggy and took her for a walk outside to allow her to relieve herself. At first, she had trouble pissing out of doors. I nudged her behind with the toe of my boot. She change her position into more of a squat and tried again. The pee gushed from her, puddling between her knees, spraying her lower thighs. I knew she wanted a tissue to blot away the droplets clinging to her bush, but doggy's don't use tissues. I led her to a grassy area and told her to rub her pussy on the grass. She obeyed, of course, and it was a beautiful sight, and exciting thing to watch.

LadyC has just remind me that I have to prepare dinner and the meal I have been directed to serve this evening take's quite some time to prepare. So I must stop for now, but if LadyC will permit it, I will continue later or tomorrow.

 

[FurryFury]

This is turning into a whole 'nother thread now.

LOL

 

[LadyC]

This is turning into a whole 'nother thread now.

LOL

Since the poll closed many moons age, I didn't thing it would cause such great harm to borrow it for a post or two.

 

[FurryFury]

Nope, not at all.

 

[LadyC]

Nope, not at all.

Billy-boy and I are both considering moving our posts, but are unsure of where or how. Actually, I am considering the moving of Billy-boy's post. He isn't allowed to make decisions.

 

[FurryFury]

Billy-boy and I are both considering moving our posts, but are unsure of where or how. Actually, I am considering the moving of Billy-boy's post. He isn't allowed to make decisions.

Whatever you wish to do is fine but you don't have to on my account.

 

[LadyC]

Whatever you wish to do is fine but you don't have to on my account.

Because it was a poll and has been closed it's doubtful anyone with read the posts. I simple don't know how to go about it.

 

[FurryFury]

People read old threads all the time.

The poll was incidental to the thread really.

What it was about, in part was bottoming from the top semantics and vilification.

The other thing it was about was being kinky with your mostly, vanilla spouse.

I think it has value regardless for some people.

If you want to remove those posts you can only go back and edit your's not his.You'll have to make him do it for himself.

When you edit your post you must have a certain number of characters still, I think. You can just write "edited" or moved to X thread or even . . . . . .