The Ukraine vs. U.S.A. Mutant Chickens

[Vincent E]

Paranoid?

That's one of those cameras that gives you the picture in 30-seconds. Da dum dum

Come on shereads, post them all. Don't be chicken. Da dum dum

I'll bet someone will laugh; then you'll be more cocksure. Da dum dum

Mhari, no one likes being henpecked. Da dum dum

Thank you. You've been a wonderful audience. I wish I could take you all home with me, but the car is too small and my landlady said no pets. Da dum dum

 

[pop_54]

Hmmmmmm

Little baby chic says to mummy chicken, "Mummy, how do we get born?"

"We don't get born honey, we get laid, in eggs like," Mummy replies.

Little chic thinks for a while, "Mummy, do humans get laid?" She asks.

"Only if they aren't chicken," Mummy replies.

Sorry I'll go................................

 

[shereads]

Re: Re: Re: Lo lover

Don't know about where you come from pal, but we don't get much typhoid over here, and to be honest I'm past giving a fuck what's in the burger, I think that's called Paranoid.

Pop, there's a new additive for ground beef that makes you unable to give a fuck what's in it. Sounds as if you may have consumed some. Was it tasty?

 

[shereads]

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Albert Einstein : Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your point of view. The chicken did not cross the road - it transcended it.

Albert Camus: It doesn't matter; the chicken's actions have no meaning except to him.

 

[champagne1982]

Okay, stop what you're eating and just think for a moment about how it got into your mouth.

IT'S FOOOOOOOOOOOOD...

Eat, drink and wash it well. Don't buy ground beef. Hell, don't buy packaged beef. Go to an auction and buy a calf. Pay a farmer to raise it. Pay a vet to kill it. Pay a butcher to cut it up. Flash freeze it in the -40 temperatures that have been haunting the northwestern ranch country and you should have beef for four for a little over a year. If you're lucky, the slaughtered animal won't have BSE or be contaminated by E. coli or any other numerous bio hazards out there lying in wait for the unsuspecting human genome.

Don't forget to be certain of your pork, too. Trichinosis is potentially fatal.

Salmonella lingers on even hand-raised, free range chickens and in the whites of eggs.

Animal shit and urine is used in some instances to fertilize the soil that food crops are grown in.

Dairy cattle are treated even worse than beef cattle, so don't drink milk, eat cheese or yogurt.

Muahahahaha

 

[Colleen Thomas]

I am sorry I ever opened this thread. I happen to like fast food, especially since I don't have to cook it, clean up the pots and pans or even fool with saving what I don't eat 9since it tastes nasty when reheated).

I try not to eat McD's. However I occasionally have a craving for a grease burger and they are the only fast food joint in town. I am however adcited to tyson chicken fingers, so nobody tell me how bad they are for me!

-Colly

 

[Guest]

(oh.. and as an aside, Perdita, I like the spec pic as well... and if you're live anywhere near chinatown with those choices, i'm extremely jealous.. i keep telling myself i'll move to the city... some day)

Thanks, Park. I live in the inner Richmond off the strip that's callled Little Chinatown but includes Korean, Vietnamese, Thai, Burmese, Italian and Russian restaurants and shops.

Perdita

 

[Svenskaflicka]

A little shit clears out your stomach.

 

[shereads]

In "The Restaurant at the End of the Universe," (3rd in the 4-book Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy series), the dining experience is enhanced by the presence of an advanced species of beef cattle that not only wants to be eaten, but introduces itself at table at entices you with some of the options.

"I'm particularly proud of my liver; I've been force-feeding myself for months in preparation for this evening. Or you might prefer a simple filet. Anything you like, just inform the chef. I'll be poppiing off into the back to shoot myself now."

Eerily like the happy animated pigs that used to advertise Lays' Bacon when I was a child. That was troubling...But I like the idea now.

I just don't want to eat anything that's been subjected to torture on its way to my table. Free-range chicken it is.

 

[Guest]

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Grandpa: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken had crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

Hemingway : To die. In the rain.

Thoreau : To live deliberately ... and suck all the marrow out of life.

Baldrick : It had a cunning plan.

Nixon : The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross the road.

Margaret Thatcher : There was no alternative.
------------
for Gauche and ella:
A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face. The egg, looking a bit ticked off, grabs the sheet, rolls over and says ... Well, I guess we finally answered "THAT question!"

all taken from: Chicken site

 

[Boxlicker101]

In "The Restaurant at the End of the Universe," (3rd in the 4-book Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy series), the dining experience is enhanced by the presence of an advanced species of beef cattle that not only wants to be eaten, but introduces itself at table at entices you with some of the options.

"I'm particularly proud of my liver; I've been force-feeding myself for months in preparation for this evening. Or you might prefer a simple filet. Anything you like, just inform the chef. I'll be poppiing off into the back to shoot myself now."

Eerily like the happy animated pigs that used to advertise Lays' Bacon when I was a child. That was troubling...But I like the idea now.

I just don't want to eat anything that's been subjected to torture on its way to my table. Free-range chicken it is.

I might be the only one here who remembers the schmoos, created by Al Capp. These cattle sound like them.

 

[shereads]

I might be the only one here who remembers the schmoos, created by Al Capp. These cattle sound like them.

Thank you for making me remember. The first thing I can remember my dad reading to me: Li'l Abner comics in the daily newspaper, of which my favorite part when I was four or five was the schmoos.

I also remember Pogo Possum: "We have seen the enemy, and he is us."

 

[Guest]

ella and box, they aren't German, it's Shmoo. I loved them too.

Perdita

Shmoos

 

[SeaCat]

Such an amusing read during dinner

Which for me took about twice as long because of my choking with laughter. My poor wife was wonering what I found so funny and had to come in and read over my shoulder. (It took me a while to clean the leftovers of my monitor by the way.) Maybe these definitions will help define my dining habits.
Fast Food: Anything which is faster than I am on foot.
Free Range: Anything not in a yard.
Breakfast: Anything which I can grab while reaching into the fridge before my first cup of coffee. (There have been some memorable breakfasts by the way.)
Lunch: Does it need to be heated before eating?
Dinner: Can it be cooked on the grill?
Condiment: If it has on the label a Scoville Unit Rating it works.

My wife, knowing my eating habits tells me I think the M.S.P.C.A. is a All You Can Eat Diner. My father remembers the day we moved to a new village out west because no one had eaten all the Rattle Snakes. My neighbors on the other hand do tend to keep their pets either chained, penned, or leashed at all times. (Sometimes all three.) regardless of how laxly the leash law is enforced. (As an aside my cats are never bothered by dogs lunging at our screens to get at them. It happened once. The new neighbor informed me while I was sitting on my Lanai to keep my cats inside because they excited his dog and he had a hard time controlling it. My reply was because I had just made a batch of hot sauce and had plenty of gas for the grill, he could let the dog go and see what the results were. He got the hint.)

Now for the honesty. I have eaten all types of foods. I have worked with, and in some cases lived with people from all over the world. I have always been willing to try new foods and have found many of them to be tasty. Also, having grown up in rural areas I grew up eating and hunting wild game. There are some foods I wont go out of my way to eat, either because of how the animal was raised, or because of the taste. On the other hand, my wife and I will never go hungry no matter what the circumstances.
As for McDonalds, I don't eat there because there are so many better choices. Here in Florida we have Checkers, which tastes better. There's Taco Bell, (which proves that with enough Hot Sauce anything, including ground up shoe leather and Politicians Hearts are edible.) then of course there are all of the little Mom and Pop food vendors from Ethnic to BBQ around here.
Well, it's off to check the traps to see if I caught any field mice for the cats. (No store bought food for them, the spoiled critters.)

SeaCat

 

[shereads]

Re: Such an amusing read during dinner

Here in Florida we have Checkers, which tastes better.

Johnny Rockets makes the best and greasiest - sorry, I mean "juiciest" - burger. If you can stomach the diner theme and the threat of singing by the staff.

It's so grXXXy juicy I call their product, "Burger In A Diaper." It's served in a wax-paper diaper-shaped thing, because the burger liquifies while you eat it. Damn, it's tasty, and so is their chocolate malted milkshake. Unfortunately, the fries are not comparable to McDonalds' fries, but one makes do.

 

[Sarastro]

Touché, Perdita! I loved chicken until I read your great post. I know these things go on, but I keep telling myself that it's probably not as bad as all that, and that the particular chicken I eat was probably better off than that. Of course I'm just fooling myself.

*Sigh!*

And hey, while we're on the topic of American morony (a word I just invented!), did y'all hear about the four thousand (yes, 4,000) Afghani war prisoners that suffocated to death in airtight containers in a mass transport overseen by American advisors a few months back? The dead were poured into the ditch and buried en masse. As was the whole incident, of course (except that a documentary movie was made about it, based on covert video footage). American history, too, has mass graves on its conscience.

 

[Guest]

Sar, that was not as undue a seque as it seemed at first to me. No, I heard nothing of that tragedy til now. I'm speakless.

Perdita

 

[minsue]

Touché, Perdita! I loved chicken until I read your great post. I know these things go on, but I keep telling myself that it's probably not as bad as all that, and that the particular chicken I eat was probably better off than that. Of course I'm just fooling myself.

*Sigh!*

And hey, while we're on the topic of American morony (a word I just invented!), did y'all hear about the four thousand (yes, 4,000) Afghani war prisoners that suffocated to death in airtight containers in a mass transport overseen by American advisors a few months back? The dead were poured into the ditch and buried en masse. As was the whole incident, of course (except that a documentary movie was made about it, based on covert video footage). American history, too, has mass graves on its conscience.

Please forgive me if I'm mistaken, as tone of voice of course does not come through in posts, but you seem to be saying that a bit too gleefully for my taste.

- Mindy

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Good news!

McDonalds are now introducing their Light Burger, made with much less fat than their other burgers.

 

[minsue]

'Flicka -

Would that make more sense or less sense in english?

- Mindy, just curious

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Less. It's a parody of a Swedish butter-commercial. The funny part here is that I said that the burgers are light.

 

[Guest]

Svenskaya, it's true McD's has a campaign, seemingly tied to the Whitehouse concerns about fat americans, to introduce 'light' meals on their menus. But I hope you and everyone knows that "fat" should be the least of concerns with re. to McD ingredients.

Perdita

 

[SeaCat]

Maybe McDonalds should add

Maybe McDonalds should add a burger made from Barn Cats. Absolutely no fat on those buggers. (Talk about your lean meat.)
I can see it now. "Would you like a little Pussy to go with those fries?"

Cat

 

[shereads]

And hey, while we're on the topic of American morony (a word I just invented!), did y'all hear about the four thousand (yes, 4,000) Afghani war prisoners that suffocated to death in airtight containers in a mass transport overseen by American advisors a few months back? The dead were poured into the ditch and buried en masse. As was the whole incident, of course (except that a documentary movie was made about it, based on covert video footage). American history, too, has mass graves on its conscience.

Good lord. I read every subversive rant I can find on the internet, and I never heard of that one. I hate to pull a realguyusa and ask it you can document this, but otherwise it's hard to believe that nobody has whispered a word of it in the anti-war press that I read so much of.

There's a documentary movie about alien autopsies, too. But skully and I remain skeptical.

 

[Sarastro]

Please forgive me if I'm mistaken, as tone of voice of course does not come through in posts, but you seem to be saying that a bit too gleefully for my taste.

Yes, looking back on it I did phrase it too insensitively. That was not my intention and I apologize. I guess I was assuming that it wouldn't come as that much of a surprise, which was probably a mistake.