The unlikely switch
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FurryFury
Addict of Sensation
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Um, yeah expectations are a bitch sometimes, huh? Some people may consider me a switch.
*chuckles*
Well when I first started investigating or even consciously realizing I was into power exchange it blew my mind that I found it hot at all, much less, when I was in charge.
Then I found I liked it even better when I wasn't in charge. I have never tended to seek any power, except personal freedom which no one can take away from me without my permission anyway. That's just not something I need or want. It took me a good long while to figure out what I felt I was and why that was.
Once I realized that I am not a Dom or a switch but a sub, I was still willing to switch to please my partner. I feel guilty when I get what I want or when things are going too well. ( A spanking can help that, hell it can help nearly everything.)
I have a need to give back. I still didn't consider myself a switch, in my mind it was all about his pleasure BUT I found that while I did these things sometimes my ego would come into play. Sometimes it wasn't just about his pleasure but about what I wanted from him. That shocked the hell out of me too.
I enjoyed seeing certain things in his eyes. I enjoyed hearing him agree to things he might not normally agree to because I'd put him in a certain space and because he trusted me. I enjoyed certain aspects of the whole dynamic quite a lot.
However, I haven't felt that I wanted to switch or lead us in these areas for quite some time. I've been very uninspired in all areas of my life. I don't have any ideas of what I want to do for him or for me, period. If he doesn't approach me, ain't nothing going to happen between us lately. I'm just plum wore out I guess. So at this point, I still crave certain things but I just am not going to be the one who takes charge. My attitude has been, if it's not important enough for him to take charge, it's going to be mighty quiet in our bedroom. I guessed that would also make the kids happier.
However in my lull, he has stepped up a bit. It's been a nice change. I have every confidence that whatever he does with me right now it's strictly because he wants to. It's not because I'm pushing for it or for any other reason. If he ever tells me he wants something from me I'll be happy to do it for him as I always am.
Does this make any sense?
LOL.
Fury
*chuckles*
Well when I first started investigating or even consciously realizing I was into power exchange it blew my mind that I found it hot at all, much less, when I was in charge.
Then I found I liked it even better when I wasn't in charge. I have never tended to seek any power, except personal freedom which no one can take away from me without my permission anyway. That's just not something I need or want. It took me a good long while to figure out what I felt I was and why that was.
Once I realized that I am not a Dom or a switch but a sub, I was still willing to switch to please my partner. I feel guilty when I get what I want or when things are going too well. ( A spanking can help that, hell it can help nearly everything.)
I have a need to give back. I still didn't consider myself a switch, in my mind it was all about his pleasure BUT I found that while I did these things sometimes my ego would come into play. Sometimes it wasn't just about his pleasure but about what I wanted from him. That shocked the hell out of me too.
I enjoyed seeing certain things in his eyes. I enjoyed hearing him agree to things he might not normally agree to because I'd put him in a certain space and because he trusted me. I enjoyed certain aspects of the whole dynamic quite a lot.
However, I haven't felt that I wanted to switch or lead us in these areas for quite some time. I've been very uninspired in all areas of my life. I don't have any ideas of what I want to do for him or for me, period. If he doesn't approach me, ain't nothing going to happen between us lately. I'm just plum wore out I guess. So at this point, I still crave certain things but I just am not going to be the one who takes charge. My attitude has been, if it's not important enough for him to take charge, it's going to be mighty quiet in our bedroom. I guessed that would also make the kids happier.
However in my lull, he has stepped up a bit. It's been a nice change. I have every confidence that whatever he does with me right now it's strictly because he wants to. It's not because I'm pushing for it or for any other reason. If he ever tells me he wants something from me I'll be happy to do it for him as I always am.
Does this make any sense?
LOL.
Fury
Netzach
>semiotics?
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Sometimes
eventually
after all is said and done I look at my life
the circus has come to town and it's here to stay
I chased away every possible glimmer of man-on-top heteronormative normalcy
and rarely, but decidedly, when I feel vulnerable and put upon
I am pissed at the bed I made.
eventually
after all is said and done I look at my life
the circus has come to town and it's here to stay
I chased away every possible glimmer of man-on-top heteronormative normalcy
and rarely, but decidedly, when I feel vulnerable and put upon
I am pissed at the bed I made.
JMohegan
.
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Thank you very much, Quint.Quint said:
Actually, that was just about as genuine as I'm ever gonna be on a public message board.Marquis said:
In any case, Marquis, I simply don't have anything more salacious to offer to this thread. I am not aroused by receiving physical pain, and I do not react positively to being told what to do in an intimate setting.
Btw - (apropos of nothing, really, but simply because it amuses me to think about), I once witnessed a Dom suggesting to a Domme a scene that was the reverse of your example #1.
That is, he proposed a scene in which he would instruct her in "beating and molesting" a willing bottom. The Domme responded by verbally cutting the Dom's nuts off, in a display of linguistic jujitsu that was truly impressive to behold.
Netzach
>semiotics?
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JMohegan said:
Uhhh I think it's far more common for women to endure/enjoy depending on their wiring "let me Dom you Domming her" scenario. I've always wanted to try this with a male but most of mine are too entirely omega, the one more flexible sort has FINALLY landed a suitable "victim" so I may get my wish.
I have the exact same reaction you describe to the suggestion that anyone run my show. Co-operation, sure. I'll even back off and let people take the lead when the bottom is regularly theirs, but being told what to do is out of the question.
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BeachGurl2
Sarcastic Smart Sexyass
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Very scary thought, that one . . . but also quite enticing.Marquis said:I'd be your goon, Netz.
To answer the original question though, I'm afraid I'll also disappoint. I have no tendency whatsoever to top. The thought of it does absolutely nothing for me. When I try to think in terms of topping, I can't even think of what it is I would do. There's just no switch in me.
rosco rathbone
1. f3e5 2. g4??
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I'm done with those chicks. Trying to teach them the wifely duties is like herding cats.
WolfShadow73
Virgin
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Very nervous sub making first post here....
I've been with my Dom for almost a year now, occasionally He indicates He would like to switch roles but the few times we've tried it Ive been so desperately uncomfortable its been a bit of a disaster (from my point of view, He says He enjoyed).
I've been trying to get into a Dom headspace though because I do want to please Him. I think I've finally had a break through and come up with a fantasy with myself in charge that I can actually get off on....
Im surprised but very pleased and I know He will be delighted. Im quite excited about showing Him...
I've been with my Dom for almost a year now, occasionally He indicates He would like to switch roles but the few times we've tried it Ive been so desperately uncomfortable its been a bit of a disaster (from my point of view, He says He enjoyed).
I've been trying to get into a Dom headspace though because I do want to please Him. I think I've finally had a break through and come up with a fantasy with myself in charge that I can actually get off on....
Im surprised but very pleased and I know He will be delighted. Im quite excited about showing Him...
jadefirefly
Numb
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- Apr 20, 2005
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I've tried it.
It was enjoyable, but not something I've had any interest in doing again. (Which is just as well, really, since we're no longer together.
)
It just wasn't my cup of tea. Every so often it'll pop up in a fantasy, but in the sort of fantasies that are reserved strictly for fantasy material, and not classified in the "Oh man, I'd really love to try that!" category.
It was enjoyable, but not something I've had any interest in doing again. (Which is just as well, really, since we're no longer together.
) It just wasn't my cup of tea. Every so often it'll pop up in a fantasy, but in the sort of fantasies that are reserved strictly for fantasy material, and not classified in the "Oh man, I'd really love to try that!" category.
Maybe...
I haven’t posted here before but I found this threads question very interesting so thought I’d give it a go.
I work as a supervisor which puts me in a dominant roll, I run two different groups where I am looked to for leadership. In my personal life, while my main squeeze isn’t very submissive in day to day choices and things, I get my way or there is hell to pay. Sexually he is much more submissive and I am more then happy to be the Dominant partner there as well. So, I think it’s pretty safe to say I stay on that side of the spectrum almost always.
Do I ever think about playing the bottom? Well, that’s all it would be, play. Don’t get me wrong, the right situation could be arousing… but I don’t think I could ever switch for a sub that wanted to get Toppy for a while, it would have to be just the right Dom.
I’m actually working on a story with this very topic, a Domme that wants to test some items out before using them on her sub. So, perhaps there is a kernel of fantasy there.
I haven’t posted here before but I found this threads question very interesting so thought I’d give it a go.
I work as a supervisor which puts me in a dominant roll, I run two different groups where I am looked to for leadership. In my personal life, while my main squeeze isn’t very submissive in day to day choices and things, I get my way or there is hell to pay. Sexually he is much more submissive and I am more then happy to be the Dominant partner there as well. So, I think it’s pretty safe to say I stay on that side of the spectrum almost always.
Do I ever think about playing the bottom? Well, that’s all it would be, play. Don’t get me wrong, the right situation could be arousing… but I don’t think I could ever switch for a sub that wanted to get Toppy for a while, it would have to be just the right Dom.
I’m actually working on a story with this very topic, a Domme that wants to test some items out before using them on her sub. So, perhaps there is a kernel of fantasy there.
Netzach
>semiotics?
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I love being in rope so I don't have to think about anything but where I am. I'll bottom to the hemp, no prob. Just string me up and leave me be.
And then I tried being roped down for sex. I've never had bad boring sex in my life till then. All I got was pissy, restless, and sore as FUCK the next day. I asked M if he was always that sore when I tied him up to fuck him and he said "yeah!" With this glazed, culty kind of smile.
I was like "and you come back for MORE of this shit?"
And then I tried being roped down for sex. I've never had bad boring sex in my life till then. All I got was pissy, restless, and sore as FUCK the next day. I asked M if he was always that sore when I tied him up to fuck him and he said "yeah!" With this glazed, culty kind of smile.
I was like "and you come back for MORE of this shit?"
Esclava
10 Locks-Do U have keys?
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Hmmmmm ... an unlikely switch ...
I wasn't until I asked for the cane from my Domme to train another submissive.
My Dom/me couple and I were playing with another Dom/sub couple and the sub complained to me about wanting my Domme to "get tired" ... I guess the flogging was a bit much for her. I looked over my shoulder and asked my Domme, "Permission to train an ungrateful submissive, Ma'am?"
I didn't recognize my voice as I barked at her, "On your knees, ungrateful one!" I picked up a crop and repeatedly traced the letters, "S.L.U.T." on her back - smacking her a$$ on each period. All the while telling her how unworthy she was to receive the attention of my caring Domme and how if she really enjoys receiving a flogging, there should be no complaints. Hearing a sub say, "Thank you, Ma'am" drives my Domme ... and me ... wild!
What I wasn't ready for was the Domme adrenaline rush that followed the sub flogging rush. After about a half hour of "training", the sub was trembling with arousal and I felt as though thinking the word "cum" would make me explode. My Domme took the crop and finished what I started and the visiting Dom took my submissive self to a place I hadn't been to in a very long time.
Next week, I begin meeting with a mentor Domme ... and I'm nervous, but very - VERY excited!
Esclava
I wasn't until I asked for the cane from my Domme to train another submissive.
My Dom/me couple and I were playing with another Dom/sub couple and the sub complained to me about wanting my Domme to "get tired" ... I guess the flogging was a bit much for her. I looked over my shoulder and asked my Domme, "Permission to train an ungrateful submissive, Ma'am?"
I didn't recognize my voice as I barked at her, "On your knees, ungrateful one!" I picked up a crop and repeatedly traced the letters, "S.L.U.T." on her back - smacking her a$$ on each period. All the while telling her how unworthy she was to receive the attention of my caring Domme and how if she really enjoys receiving a flogging, there should be no complaints. Hearing a sub say, "Thank you, Ma'am" drives my Domme ... and me ... wild!
What I wasn't ready for was the Domme adrenaline rush that followed the sub flogging rush. After about a half hour of "training", the sub was trembling with arousal and I felt as though thinking the word "cum" would make me explode. My Domme took the crop and finished what I started and the visiting Dom took my submissive self to a place I hadn't been to in a very long time.
Next week, I begin meeting with a mentor Domme ... and I'm nervous, but very - VERY excited!
Esclava
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