The validity of online relationships.

[Vail_Indigo]

I feel like its time for me to interject here, after having held my tongue so long.

w00t SALLY AND TRIXIE!!!! YUMMY HOTNESS!

 

[SoulWeaver]

Oh my ........ nowt to add ..... oh my covers it.

 

[Noon_Shadow]

Noon!!

This is the sort of thread derailment I can support!

Me too! Especially if involves someone getting into Trix's pants.

For the record, just felt the need to insert some joviality here because it's been a divisive topic. I think this kind of interruption is much better than the page 3-4 distraction from this thread.

Nods and slips away.

 

[Trixabell]

Oh but wait..........
My husband doesn't know I sometimes like to play with women in cyberspace......
Maybe a stoning for two is in order??


Vail!!! I miss you! Join us in our debauchery!

 

[girlsmiley]

Stop that. Thread derailments with attempts at jocularity will attract a stoning.

Throws stone at SW giggles and runs off

 

[Vail_Indigo]

Oh but wait..........
My husband doesn't know I sometimes like to play with women in cyberspace......
Maybe a stoning for two is in order??


Vail!!! I miss you! Join us in our debauchery!

debauch debauch debauch!

wheeeeeee!!!!!

 

[SoulWeaver]

Throws stone at SW giggles and runs off

Bitch ..... !!!! Escalates the fight and flings poo back ....... oh wait, thats the monkeys in Penguins of Madagascar ....

 

[Noon_Shadow]

debauch debauch debauch!

wheeeeeee!!!!!

Let's make a deal-i'll bauch, you debauch.

Nods at his nonsense and wanders off again.

 

[sallythescorpian]

Sounds like you're trying to get into her pants

smiles.

Eww! No!! Sorry, no offence to Trix, but Noon, how shall I put this???

too much tit, and not enough cock, for my tastes, if you get my drift!


(No offense intending to Trix. If I had any inclinations at all in that direction, I'm sure I'd be after the lovely Bella!!)

 

[sallythescorpian]

I feel like its time for me to interject here, after having held my tongue so long.

w00t SALLY AND TRIXIE!!!! YUMMY HOTNESS!

LOL!! Great subject change Vail!!

Kudos!

 

[Noon_Shadow]

Eww! No!! Sorry, no offence to Trix, but Noon, how shall I put this???

too much tit, and not enough cock, for my tastes, if you get my drift!


(No offense intending to Trix. If I had any inclinations at all in that direction, I'm sure I'd be after the lovely Bella!!)

Or, perhaps I'm just trying to get into both of your pants. winks playfully, but casts an amorous eye on Sally.

 

[Rick345]

Thank you sallythescorpian and Trixabell I just got off work and was about to respond and explain how the changes which destroy many a good marriage aren't the distinct earth shaking changes but, the slow progression of time and how it changes our health, the heath of our loved ones, our economic situation and priorities however, y'all have done a much better job than I ever could.

 

[Hikari]

Hikari - i am not trying to pick a fight I just felt that it was important to point out that people do change. If this is not your experience then great and I wish you the best of luck. Ill take a minute to respond to a few things you said because they are important to me.


Not much changes after the age of 20? I’ll take a guess and assume you are about 20 then. We all change and my point was that it doesn't have to be a drastic change that causes discord in relationships, more often than not its the everyday stuff that after 20 years changes you and your relationship. You speak in such absolutes - life is not black and white, I believe you really have to look at every situation individually.


You use such extreme examples that have no bearing on the majority of relationships. Once again, I was simply trying to point out that people and marriages all change and evolve over time. Please do not be so quick to judge people that are living in a reality that you have yet to experience.



Not at all, I was simply pointing out that living together before marriage does not contribute to a sustainable relationship which is the point I felt you were trying to make.

I'm not trying to fight either. I just don't think the changes you are describing are indeed the kind of thing that uproots a solid relationship.

What changes in say 40 years? Interests? Career? Family?

Does that really ever change who a person truly is?

If you love someone for the person they are outside of interests, successes and failures, I don't think that should matter.

Those things are not important. What is important is the decisions we make in response to what life throws at us.

I think people are pretty constant. If something seems out of character, then perhaps we don't know that person as well as we think.

Generally speaking most of the major changes in terms of personality tend to emerge in youth. The only thing really different is level of maturity and perspective that comes with that.

People like to think they change alot, but most of that change is trivial.

It takes extreme circumstances to actually change someone, and the average person is just not going to see those extremes in their lifetime.

Living together does contribute to knowing a person and the overall relationship. Infact there are thousands of people in common law marriages. We're talking people who just live together and never get married till the day they die. Gay and lesbian couples also fall into this category. My boyfriend's sister has been living with her partner some 20 years now. You really think marriage would make a difference?

 

[Trixabell]

I'm not trying to fight either. I just don't think the changes you are describing are indeed the kind of thing that uproots a solid relationship.

You really think marriage would make a difference?

I disagree but thats okay. As to the second point no I dont think it makes a difference at all.

 

[Trixabell]

Thank you sallythescorpian and Trixabell I just got off work and was about to respond and explain how the changes which destroy many a good marriage aren't the distinct earth shaking changes but, the slow progression of time and how it changes our health, the heath of our loved ones, our economic situation and priorities however, y'all have done a much better job than I ever could.

Thank you Rick!
Oh and Sally - no offense taken dear!

 

[Hikari]

Thank you sallythescorpian and Trixabell I just got off work and was about to respond and explain how the changes which destroy many a good marriage aren't the distinct earth shaking changes but, the slow progression of time and how it changes our health, the heath of our loved ones, our economic situation and priorities however, y'all have done a much better job than I ever could.

People are only as good as their options. Is all I will say to that.

 

[sallythescorpian]

Hikari, It really is not the case that couples who remain happy with one another have some magic formula, and those who split have necessarily failed in some way to do their homework! it really is more often the small things that, everyday life that can ruin a relationship. Take something as general as work.

Career success may pull one partner away from home frequently - either longer hours or perhaps a lot of travel, leaving the other to carry things on at home. While this may not be too much of an issue when it is just 'we two', its a much bigger issue when there are kids involved, and the other partner has to juggle their own career, with almost all the family responsibilities. The partner putting in long hours comes home, and wants to spend quality time with their spouse, but the spouse who has been flat out all week managing the kids and work etc, might be exhausted and want to flop in front of the TV and that can easily lead to resentment on the part of both parties.

Equally, career disappointments might leave someone with their confidence undermined. If the couple decide that one of them will put their career on hold to raise the kids ( or to work a short week or whatever) they may, over the course of time grow to resent the fact that friends and colleagues have shot past them in terms of promotion.

Job loss can have a devastating effect, not solely in terms of the obvious financial pressures, but also in terms of personal self worth, loss of self esteem, and people can become very different under these circumstances. There is an old saying, common in this part of the world.

"Love goes out the window, when poverty comes in the door"

Our every experience in life affects us, and causes us to change continually, sometimes in barely discernible ways, and other times in drastic ways. Its a gradual, incremental thing, and its easy to grow apart. We are each of us, a product of our genes and our life experiences.

Any couple, no matter how compatible, and no matter how hard they try, can grow apart, and any relationship needs both parties to work at it constantly in order to make it work, and while that will give us the best chance of success, it doesn't necessarily guarantee that you will beat the statistics.

This deals only with one small aspect of life. Consider the other variables - both extended families, children (the decision to have them, or not), one partner or the other becoming more introver / extrovert; kids health problems / leaning difficulties / social acceptance / discipline; Location (moving house / proximity to family), physical illness and disability, mental health issues; the impact of friends / family members divorces; managing household income - spending / saving / investing; sexuality - changes in libido, desires to try new things - or not; boredom; discovering at 30 / 40/ 50 etc that your life is not as you envisaged it, or how you wanted it - feeling that your partner has short-changed you in someway; Working or spending a lot of time with someone to whom you are sexually attracted; Diet and fitness levels; purchases and spending; household chores, even the way disagreements are resolved, with perhaps one partner feeling they should have had more sat etc etc etc. It all changes us.

But it isn't all negative. If you meet your life partner at say 25, you can reasonably expect to spend (assuming you both dodge death and divorce) 50 odd years together. If we didn't change, I'd imagine we'd be bored to tears with one another after that time!!

 

[Hikari]

Hikari, It really is not the case that couples who remain happy with one another have some magic formula, and those who split have necessarily failed in some way to do their homework! it really is more often the small things that, everyday life that can ruin a relationship. Take something as general as work.

Career success may pull one partner away from home frequently - either longer hours or perhaps a lot of travel, leaving the other to carry things on at home. While this may not be too much of an issue when it is just 'we two', its a much bigger issue when there are kids involved, and the other partner has to juggle their own career, with almost all the family responsibilities. The partner putting in long hours comes home, and wants to spend quality time with their spouse, but the spouse who has been flat out all week managing the kids and work etc, might be exhausted and want to flop in front of the TV and that can easily lead to resentment on the part of both parties.

Equally, career disappointments might leave someone with their confidence undermined. If the couple decide that one of them will put their career on hold to raise the kids ( or to work a short week or whatever) they may, over the course of time grow to resent the fact that friends and colleagues have shot past them in terms of promotion.

Job loss can have a devastating effect, not solely in terms of the obvious financial pressures, but also in terms of personal self worth, loss of self esteem, and people can become very different under these circumstances. There is an old saying, common in this part of the world.

"Love goes out the window, when poverty comes in the door"

Our every experience in life affects us, and causes us to change continually, sometimes in barely discernible ways, and other times in drastic ways. Its a gradual, incremental thing, and its easy to grow apart. We are each of us, a product of our genes and our life experiences.

Any couple, no matter how compatible, and no matter how hard they try, can grow apart, and any relationship needs both parties to work at it constantly in order to make it work, and while that will give us the best chance of success, it doesn't necessarily guarantee that you will beat the statistics.

This deals only with one small aspect of life. Consider the other variables - both extended families, children (the decision to have them, or not), one partner or the other becoming more introver / extrovert; kids health problems / leaning difficulties / social acceptance / discipline; Location (moving house / proximity to family), physical illness and disability, mental health issues; the impact of friends / family members divorces; managing household income - spending / saving / investing; sexuality - changes in libido, desires to try new things - or not; boredom; discovering at 30 / 40/ 50 etc that your life is not as you envisaged it, or how you wanted it - feeling that your partner has short-changed you in someway; Working or spending a lot of time with someone to whom you are sexually attracted; Diet and fitness levels; purchases and spending; household chores, even the way disagreements are resolved, with perhaps one partner feeling they should have had more sat etc etc etc. It all changes us.

But it isn't all negative. If you meet your life partner at say 25, you can reasonably expect to spend (assuming you both dodge death and divorce) 50 odd years together. If we didn't change, I'd imagine we'd be bored to tears with one another after that time!!

Sally you misunderstand me completely. I am saying that relationships are usually more difficult for people that lack chemistry. If you wake up one morning and find you don't know who you're married to anymore, you've obviously been asleep at the wheel. That's like a morbidly obese person waking up one day and realizing they are fat.

What you are describing is a change in priorities. I'm saying that doesn't really happen, that perhaps a person had those problematic priorities all along but didn't want to admit it.

Do you really think that a person realizing they dislike being a parent is going to tell their wife about it? Do you think a person who likes their job over being with their family is going to say so? Of course not! They are going to keep it to themselves.

Some people are better off not being married, but got married anyway for fear of being alone.

I don't think people grow apart, I think they become more aware of the person they are with and find they don't like it. Then they just get tired of it.

People successful financially are actually more likely to have an affair, because it is within their budget to do so.

The person didn't change, their options opened and their behavior reacted to that change. Let's say you've been poor for two years and have been living on canned soups and ramen noodles. Then you get a great job and you can afford steak. Are you going to stay on the noodles? Hell no!


If you are obscenely ugly, are you going to attempt to cheat on your wife? They can't. Who's going to want them? Put a fist full of cash in their hand or internet access and it changes the game not the person.


I'm saying that some people get married to the first person willing to tolerate them. Then they wonder why their having problems later when these deep seated issues may have been there from the start.


Issues that seem small when you start out, can get bigger and bigger over time till you can't ignore them any longer, but this is due to people not taking care of their problems.


If you're better living a quiet life with little complications, it's probably a bad idea to have kids.


If you value your job and money over your partner, it's probably better that you don't marry.


It all sounds like voluntary lack of communication. People don't want to discuss things because they are afraid of what they are going to find out.


These are also the kinds of problems that come from letting religion dictate your life. We've got alot of people out there that marry just to have sex because they think that's what they are supposed to do. Some people just want to fuck someone no strings attached, that doesn't change despite your belief system.


You act as though people in a relationship have no control over that relationship because life is just too damn hard. People are more resilient than that. They knowingly make decisions even when they aren't the smartest. They aren't different just because they start making decisions differently. They just stop letting other people dictate their lives and begin being the person they've always wanted to be, but were too afraid. They stop caring what other people think and expect.

That is not change, that is honesty...

 

[Maid of Marvels]

Sometimes, the more people say, the more they reveal about themselves (and it's not always very nice).

That was quite possibly one of the more hateful posts I've read here. What do you suggest? Shall we kill all the fat (and presumably stupid, since they don't know they are fat until they wake up one day and have an epiphany) and annihilate all of the ugly people as well? I mean, really... only pretty, rich and thin folks can be disloyal to a partner and the rest of the world is all good.

By the way, that wasn't the topic though I believe the OP was meant to provoke rather than pique. It's a bit scary to see what it has devolved into - a poster child for selective genetics. Very sad, but good that we aren't being censured. Folks need to read things like that to understand how we should not behave or feel about others.

 

[Hikari]

Sometimes, the more people say, the more they reveal about themselves (and it's not always very nice).

That was quite possibly one of the more hateful posts I've read here. What do you suggest? Shall we kill all the fat (and presumably stupid, since they don't know they are fat until they wake up one day and have an epiphany) and annihilate all of the ugly people as well? I mean, really... only pretty, rich and thin folks can be disloyal to a partner and the rest of the world is all good.

By the way, that wasn't the topic though I believe the OP was meant to provoke rather than pique. It's a bit scary to see what it has devolved into - a poster child for selective genetics. Very sad, but good that we aren't being censured. Folks need to read things like that to understand how we should not behave or feel about others.

Where the hell did you get any of that out of a rant based on people being a victim of their decisions?

You're certainly overly sensitive over nothing.

 

[Rick345]

Where the hell did you get any of that out of a rant based on people being a victim of their decisions?

I've been trying to figure out the point you're were attempting to make and why your perspective is so different than Sally, Trixie and mine and I could have simply said because your young.

First off I really don't see the point of ranting but, more importantly while I agree on some level people are certainly a victim of their decisions I'll trying to explain the part of my reasoning you don't seem to understand.

People make choices and those choices have consequences however, we never know all the and the over all consequences of our choices. Since you seem to like exaggerated examples I give you one.

Say tomorrow I get in my car to go to work as I have done five or six days a week for the last 35+ years and each day I've done so without incident but, tomorrow is different I get up shower, shave and shit get dressed get in my car and pull out of the driveway head to work the same old way and half way there a drunk driver swerves over into my lane we are both doing 65 mph and hits me head on and I'm killed instantly. How in the world could I have seen that coming? How in the world without knowing that was going to happen avoid it?

To repeat myself we have complete control over the what we do but, we never have complete control of the consequence of our actions there are just too many variables and we never have any control over what someone else is going to do. If no one can predict what's going to happen to them in the next few seconds how in the world do you know with absolute certainly what's going to happen twenty years from now that's what puzzles me....

Your other scenario about the fat guy waking up one day and suddenly realizing he's fat well life is like that it does sneak up on you sometime things change so slowly we are unaware of the day to day changes and suddenly things have gotten so out of hand that we realize what has happened. If we don't realize something is wrong on how can we avoid it until its too late. You have never been blind sided by life no one has ever did anything that totally caught you by surprise?

Here's my question for you were and how did you come up with this theory (idea) that we can avoid every bad situation and fix every problem if we only paid attention?

My other question is a variance of the first with yet another exaggerated example. Let's say a guy loses his job and because of this poor economy can't find another one so he turns to drink to help booster his lack of self esteem for being less of a man because he no longer able to provide for his family a fact is all too painfully aware because his wife's consistently telling him so....

To sum it up this guy's a jobless drunk and his wife is consistently bitching at him. You have said he's a drunk because he was predisposed to be one in the first place and his hard luck just brought that weakness to the surface.Trixie, Sally and I say if he wouldn't have lost his job he wouldn't have become a drunk because he never had that problem before. It's the old which came first the chicken or the egg question.

The other thing you said that I don't agree with is that people knowingly make bad decisions.. For the vast majority of people we make the best decision we can with the limited information available and sometimes even the best laid plans of mice and men have unforeseen and often unforeseeable very bad consequences. Most of the time the consequences are small and easily corrected and if there not you pull help your big boy britches and put on your happy face and don't let it get you down and dig your way out a little at a time if you can but, above all you just solider on... Why be miserable just because you made a mistake and more importantly why make the rest of your family upset jst don't let it get you down and do whatever is best for the people you care you care about. Do I make any sense to you?

 

[Hikari]

I've been trying to figure out the point you're were attempting to make and why your perspective is so different than Sally, Trixie and mine and I could have simply said because your young.

First off I really don't see the point of ranting but, more importantly while I agree on some level people are certainly a victim of their decisions I'll trying to explain the part of my reasoning you don't seem to understand.

People make choices and those choices have consequences however, we never know all the and the over all consequences of our choices. Since you seem to like exaggerated examples I give you one.

Say tomorrow I get in my car to go to work as I have done five or six days a week for the last 35+ years and each day I've done so without incident but, tomorrow is different I get up shower, shave and shit get dressed get in my car and pull out of the driveway head to work the same old way and half way there a drunk driver swerves over into my lane we are both doing 65 mph and hits me head on and I'm killed instantly. How in the world could I have seen that coming? How in the world without knowing that was going to happen avoid it?

To repeat myself we have complete control over the what we do but, we never have complete control of the consequence of our actions there are just too many variables and we never have any control over what someone else is going to do. If no one can predict what's going to happen to them in the next few seconds how in the world do you know with absolute certainly what's going to happen twenty years from now that's what puzzles me....

Your other scenario about the fat guy waking up one day and suddenly realizing he's fat well life is like that it does sneak up on you sometime things change so slowly we are unaware of the day to day changes and suddenly things have gotten so out of hand that we realize what has happened. If we don't realize something is wrong on how can we avoid it until its too late. You have never been blind sided by life no one has ever did anything that totally caught you by surprise?

Here's my question for you were and how did you come up with this theory (idea) that we can avoid every bad situation and fix every problem if we only paid attention?

My other question is a variance of the first with yet another exaggerated example. Let's say a guy loses his job and because of this poor economy can't find another one so he turns to drink to help booster his lack of self esteem for being less of a man because he no longer able to provide for his family a fact is all too painfully aware because his wife's consistently telling him so....

To sum it up this guy's a jobless drunk and his wife is consistently bitching at him. You have said he's a drunk because he was predisposed to be one in the first place and his hard luck just brought that weakness to the surface.Trixie, Sally and I say if he wouldn't have lost his job he wouldn't have become a drunk because he never had that problem before. It's the old which came first the chicken or the egg question.

The other thing you said that I don't agree with is that people knowingly make bad decisions.. For the vast majority of people we make the best decision we can with the limited information available and sometimes even the best laid plans of mice and men have unforeseen and often unforeseeable very bad consequences. Most of the time the consequences are small and easily corrected and if there not you pull help your big boy britches and put on your happy face and don't let it get you down and dig your way out a little at a time if you can but, above all you just solider on... Why be miserable just because you made a mistake and more importantly why make the rest of your family upset jst don't let it get you down and do whatever is best for the people you care you care about. Do I make any sense to you?

I'm going to break this down really simple.

The argument that has been made is that people change on an undetectable level over time.

They said you can't know a person after a few years because they change on that undetectable level.

I am saying that a person's personality and who they are as a person doesn't change much past a certain point for the most part.

What does change is their decisions. A person is not necessarily their decisions, choices, or interests. If those things change, it doesn't necessarily change the person.

I'm saying that citing frustration and differences over time is a bullshit excuse for a divorce. There has to be something more specific than that taking place.

Odds are they have deeper problems that stem from not having similar goals in marriage and unrealistic expectations. Meaning that they really didn't know each other as much as they believed.


The top five reasons for divorce are as follows:

1. Infidelity
2. Breakdown of communication
3. Physical, Psychological, or Emotional Abuse
4. Financial Issues
5. boredom

None of those have anything to do with change of personality. Which is what some of you seem to suggest.


If all it takes is a few new hobbies, changes in career, and poor finances to uproot your relationship, then you weren't that strong of a couple to begin with.


Addiction and abuse are another story. Addiction is a choice. Abuse is usually an attempt to control someone in a failing relationship. These things often come with poor mental health due to stress or other factors.


Also the thing about the obese person was a reference to the belief that a person changes overnight and no one notices. I was saying that was a ridiculous thing to believe. People also can adapt to slow change. So you can't really cite that as a deciding factor in marital failure.


Is that clear enough?


If you know who a person is despite the normal amount of change in behavior. How can you not have a general idea of what that person would be like? You can have a general idea based upon how they handle hardship, conflict, and accountability. If they do better than expected, fantastic.


Shit is going to happen on occasion. If you aren't prepared for that, why get married? Life is difficult, marriage doubly so.


You talk about predicting a death due to car wreck? What does it matter whether you could have predicted it? Your dead at that point. It's impossible to predict freak accidents, but your partner is not a freak accident. They are a human being usually exhibiting some predictable behaviors.


You say you don't think people knowingly make bad decision. What about infidelity? To assume that they'd believe it was entirely a good thing would make that person an asshole on a level that I can not imagine without excessive swearing.


People are willing to make bad decisions to achieve a desirable goal. Even if it's only a temporary pleasure.


You talked about the man who became a drunk because he lost his job. He made a conscious decision to drink instead of handling his problems. There are a lot of poor people who aren't drunks. If he spent the money he spends on booze to help dig himself out of that financial crisis, his wife may stop bitching at him. However he made the decision to quit on life.


He is a drunk not because he lost his job, but because his priorities are shitty.


If you anticipate potential disaster you can not be disappointed or completely unprepared. If your expectations are realistic, every time they are exceeded is a wonderful joy.

 

[sallythescorpian]

If you anticipate potential disaster you can not be disappointed or completely unprepared. If your expectations are realistic, every time they are exceeded is a wonderful joy.

I think you have a very simplistic black and white view of the world, taking no account of the various shades of grey. You obviously have great conviction in the veracity of your own beliefs, I really hope, as you go through life you never have reason to reconsider.

Personally, I have been married 16 years, and I lived with my husband for three years prior to that. We have an excellent marriage, and are both very happy, but my experience is that things change constantly, and there are never absolute guarantees.

Sometimes, the unexpected happens, you get a curve ball, and life just happens, and sometimes, whether a couple pull through the inevitable problems that will periodically occur during a marriage, is as much down to luck as anything else.

Any long term relationship will hit low points, as well as highs. For some couples, something bad happening, right at a low point, will push one or other into something that may ultimately irrevocably damage the relationship; likewise, at that same low point, something fortuitous can be the little lift they need to get things back on track.

As Forrest Gump would say... sometimes shit happens!

 

[Light Ice]

Sally, not to stir the pot, but aside the fact that changes occur in any given relationship... which I certainly agree.

Isn't it honesty and respect that keeps a marriage together? Isn't Hikari right in asserting that it's selfish and cowardly to keep things from your partner, such as the fact you have an online girlfriend you claim to be in love with, while they go on believing they are in a happy and healthy relationship?

I understand the concept of "live and let live" but I do not think that it applies in situations where people are willingly and knowingly behaving in a way that can and eventually will hurt another person. Your entire argument about "tolerance" doesn't read as tolerant at all. It reads as immoral.

And a tad hypocritical because I would be very surprised if you kept company with people that regularly engaged in dishonest and malicious behavior. You may not condemn them as publicly as has been done here, but you avoid them, and that's a judgement as much as this is.

 

[Hikari]

I think you have a very simplistic black and white view of the world, taking no account of the various shades of grey. You obviously have great conviction in the veracity of your own beliefs, I really hope, as you go through life you never have reason to reconsider.

Personally, I have been married 16 years, and I lived with my husband for three years prior to that. We have an excellent marriage, and are both very happy, but my experience is that things change constantly, and there are never absolute guarantees.

Sometimes, the unexpected happens, you get a curve ball, and life just happens, and sometimes, whether a couple pull through the inevitable problems that will periodically occur during a marriage, is as much down to luck as anything else.

Any long term relationship will hit low points, as well as highs. For some couples, something bad happening, right at a low point, will push one or other into something that may ultimately irrevocably damage the relationship; likewise, at that same low point, something fortuitous can be the little lift they need to get things back on track.

As Forrest Gump would say... sometimes shit happens!

Yeah shit does happen, but that's to be expected in life. If you live life expecting perfection everyday you're always going to be disappointed and unhappy.

The bad things make you appreciate when something really great happens by sheer contrast.

If your life was perfect you'd appreciate nothing.

You're going to argue, and disagree and be incredibly frustrated at times. That's what happens in relationships. It's not about how many fights you have though. It's what you fight about and how you solve those conflicts that determines relationship survival.