The validity of online relationships.

[Trixabell]

Its only interesting conversation if the judgment and name calling is left out. The OP asked for a non-judgmental conversation but it seems the real spirit of the thread is to berate those with differing opinions. We are not all going to agree - discuss it like adults.

 

[Asa]

I'm glad Asa that you're happy. At the end of the day it's everyones right.

Thank you Alana. Its not to say that like all couples we don't have our disagreements but even those are good for the relationship and the soul. But no matter what... Life is good

 

[Ausus_girl13]

Just poking my head in here, not worth it to babysit each other y'all, Ahren does his thing, you do yours. Telling him to behave hasn't ever worked (unless it's me and I tell him that he's pretty sitting there in the corner).

But Asa and Tio bring up some interesting points, I am curious as to how LI will reply (and I am sure he will).

I thought Draggy was hilarious yesterday, talking about online enemies- would it work like frienemies?

 

[Tio_Narratore]

You guys can handle a couple off topic posts. You're big boys and girls. Besides, people are flat out refusing to answer questions now so the topic is already losing steam.



"You don't know about this ancient trivia? You only care about yourself!"

Truly solid reasoning. Besides I didn't say there wasn't any value in knowing it, just that it's a bit silly to claim someone should know it because they post here. That doesn't make much sense. It also doesn't automatically make me appreciate the avatar just because it happens to be relevant to Ancient Greece.

No one asked you to appreciate it, Ahren, nor to know anything other than what you might want to know. Nor did anyone ask you for your opinions on others avatars here. I merely implied that you might want to have a bit of knowledge before you lept to judgements. My mistake, clearly.

Call it one of my quirks, if you, will, but I find that the more I know, the more fun I can have, and, conversely, the more someone can only refer to himself, the less interesting I find that person.

 

[Light Ice]

Just poking my head in here, not worth it to babysit each other y'all, Ahren does his thing, you do yours. Telling him to behave hasn't ever worked (unless it's me and I tell him that he's pretty sitting there in the corner).

But Asa and Tio bring up some interesting points, I am curious as to how LI will reply (and I am sure he will).

I thought Draggy was hilarious yesterday, talking about online enemies- would it work like frienemies?

What points did they make to which I haven't already replied?

 

[Ausus_girl13]

What points did they make to which I haven't already replied?

I have no idea. You always have something to say. *snicker*

 

[Light Ice]

I have no idea. You always have something to say. *snicker*

Tio's well spoken and reasonable. We disagree on one matter, the matter of applying validity to another person's envisioned romance, but elsewise we aren't that far apart. His outlook is much different then mine. He envisions their expression of romance as an expression of a value, I view it as an expression of dishonesty.

That's the divide.

I don't think he and I could really discuss it further (I will gladly attempt to if he has more to say) but in general sometimes you've made your point and it's the most respectful thing to do to be content with how you've stated it.

As for Asa, well, she never directly answered my three questions. I'm glad she's happy but without answering those three questions directly I'm not sure what I would say to her that I haven't already said to everyone else.

 

[Ausus_girl13]

Tio's well spoken and reasonable. We disagree on one matter, the matter of applying validity to another person's envisioned romance, but elsewise we aren't that far apart. His outlook is much different then mine. He envisions their expression of romance as an expression of a value, I view it as an expression of dishonesty.

That's the divide.

I don't think he and I could really discuss it further (I will gladly attempt to if he has more to say) but in general sometimes you've made your point and it's the most respectful thing to do to be content with how you've stated it.

As for Asa, well, she never directly answered my three questions. I'm glad she's happy but without answering those three questions directly I'm not sure what I would say to her that I haven't already said to everyone else.

Case in point.

I thought Asa answered, she said that they had a close deep friendship which grew, it was the basis for their love, I don't see any inherent disagreement in what she's saying and you are.

There was value in their friendship, it deepened easily into love once they were in physical proximity. Which dovetails nicely with your own thoughts.

 

[Light Ice]

This is the first time you've commented, that I've seen, without actually reading the posts you're referencing.

 

[Ahren]

LI asked if they loved each other before they met in person, which still hasn't been clarified.

 

[Light Ice]

LI asked if they loved each other before they met in person, which still hasn't been clarified.

I also asked that if that was the case did she feel she loved him -more- after they had met and been together.

Which she has not clarified.

 

[Ahren]

Well she did say "when we met it helped but it changed nothing" which... actually makes no sense whatsoever.

 

[Ausus_girl13]

This is the first time you've commented, that I've seen, without actually reading the posts you're referencing.

LI asked if they loved each other before they met in person, which still hasn't been clarified.

raises my hands

Oi you two!
What does it matter if they loved each other before they met?

 

[Asa]

Case in point.

I thought Asa answered, she said that they had a close deep friendship which grew, it was the basis for their love, I don't see any inherent disagreement in what she's saying and you are.

There was value in their friendship, it deepened easily into love once they were in physical proximity. Which dovetails nicely with your own thoughts.

Exactly... Even more proof that men can't translate anything *lol*

So to make it PRESCHOOL clear for the males... YES we were IN LOVE before meeting face to face... As I said meeting face to face was just the Icing on the cake... Its not rocket science... Really

 

[Ausus_girl13]

Exactly... Even more proof that men can't translate anything *lol*

So to make it PRESCHOOL clear for the males... YES we were IN LOVE before meeting face to face... As I said meeting face to face was just the Icing on the cake... Its not rocket science... Really

Oooh.. I like you Asa.

Suck on those eggs LI.

 

[Light Ice]

Exactly... Even more proof that men can't translate anything *lol*

So to make it PRESCHOOL clear for the males... YES we were IN LOVE before meeting face to face... As I said meeting face to face was just the Icing on the cake... Its not rocket science... Really

You don't distinguish a difference in your relationship from when it existed only in cyberspace to how it exists now, save for the fact it was "icing on the cake". And you're incorrect in assuming I could not translate. I could, but not with certainty, which is why I asked for a clear definition. I've no desire to infer your position for you in a conversation. That would invalidate everything I bothered to express if I had made a mistake in that translation and waste my time, and yours, in the process.

 

[Asa]

Oooh.. I like you Asa.

Suck on those eggs LI.

Thank you thank you *lol* no applause just more ball gags for the males to wear *lol*

Glad all the guys around here are not that bad

 

[Light Ice]

raises my hands

Oi you two!
What does it matter if they loved each other before they met?

A) Jill and Bob meet online and begin to talk. They discover they enjoy one another's company and are curious to meet. They feel an attraction. When they meet, the attraction intensifies or remains the same. They enter into a romantic relationship, fall in-love, and get married.

B) Jill and Bob meet online and begin to talk. They discover they enjoy one another's company and believe they are in-love. They feel an attraction. When they meet, the attraction intensifies or remains the same. They continue their romantic relationship and get married.

C) Jill and Bob meet online and begin to talk. They discover they enjoy one another's company and believe they are in love. They feel an attraction. They have no intention of meeting, ever, but insist they are utterly in-love with one another.

Are you attempting to suggest that these three perspectives on online romance are not radically different from one another?

 

[Ahren]

raises my hands

Oi you two!
What does it matter if they loved each other before they met?

Hold the fuck on...

You made this thread to discuss this very concept! Now you're asking what does it matter?

 

[Mephistophelily]

Ice, I'm just curious.
Don't take this in a wrong way. Simple curiosity.
How did you feel about FF?
You seemed close to her. Was there validness to that? Or simply intruiged by her net petsona?

Like I said, I'm close to the people I've met. The versions of them they let out.
I did get way too close to someone years ago. Even went to see him.
And he hurt me terribly. Lied to me. Used me.
So will I ever completely trust that who I "meet" is real? No.
But even people offline can hurt you. Don't think deception on personality happens just via the net. Sometimes it even takes awhile for the Real Them to show up.

In fact, don't trust or believe anyone. They're all assholes. Some are just less so. That just makes everything easier.

 

[Light Ice]

Ice, I'm just curious.
Don't take this in a wrong way. Simple curiosity.
How did you feel about FF?
You seemed close to her. Was there validness to that? Or simply intruiged by her net petsona?

There's no wrong way to take that. It's a perfectly valid question.

What I know of FF is that she's a very assertive, capable, and wonderful person to spend time with. I really enjoyed her company and we wrote terrifically together. We were close in the way that the medium allows, through conversation, and I enjoyed her honesty and conviction in the things that she believed in.

We were not dating.

I was definitely curious as to what she would be like in person and would have met her if I had the chance.

I would not say, although I certainly do value her as a person, that I loved her in any way.

I can say this about a couple that I have spoken with on here.

 

[Ausus_girl13]

Thank you thank you *lol* no applause just more ball gags for the males to wear *lol*

Glad all the guys around here are not that bad

Actually these two are pretty damn awesome. They just have the tact of two year olds with new toys- which is to say- not at all.

A) Jill and Bob meet online and begin to talk. They discover they enjoy one another's company and are curious to meet. They feel an attraction. When they meet, the attraction intensifies or remains the same. They enter into a romantic relationship, fall in-love, and get married.

B) Jill and Bob meet online and begin to talk. They discover they enjoy one another's company and believe they are in-love. They feel an attraction. When they meet, the attraction intensifies or remains the same. They continue their romantic relationship and get married.

C) Jill and Bob meet online and begin to talk. They discover they enjoy one another's company and believe they are in love. They feel an attraction. They have no intention of meeting, ever, but insist they are utterly in-love with one another.

Are you attempting to suggest that these three perspectives on online romance are not radically different from one another?

Blinks
Again? We have to do this again? Pretty please no?

It is possible for two people to fall in love online, but it requires action on both people's parts to follow thru.

And maybe sometimes people crave that escape that playing here affords them. It's safe and you get to play in your own head.

 

[Ahren]

Obviously he is disagreeing with the idea that people can fall in love online. Which is exactly what you wanted to discuss, right? Why are you acting like you're surprised?

 

[Light Ice]

Yeah, honestly, I've no idea what you're attempting to discuss right now. I don't know if you've read any of this, or not, but it certainly doesn't seem like I need to restate my opinions. That wasn't the point of any of this, anyway. You asked what did it matter if they were in-love online, or after they had met, and I expressed to you that it mattered in the discussion because the perspectives and experiences were fundamentally different.

You seem to agree, or not, whatever. You didn't exactly address my points at all.

 

[Magnes1976]

Good thing the discussion have calmed a bit. Thought i accidentally ended up in the General Board for a moment there

I have never been in love online, but i have no problem, believing that it can happen. All people are different and we all define love different. The only one who can validate the value of that love is yourself.

I believe you can fall in love with someone without meeting the person. You can love the words and the ideas that person share with you. You can never be sure that this person is for real though. It may just be you loving a fantasy, but it is still love.