The validity of online relationships.

[Hikari]

Exactly... Even more proof that men can't translate anything *lol*

So to make it PRESCHOOL clear for the males... YES we were IN LOVE before meeting face to face... As I said meeting face to face was just the Icing on the cake... Its not rocket science... Really

How can you say you were in love? You were talking to a screen. It's like saying you were in love with yourself. In online romance people fill in the gaps that can't be filled with real life meetings.

You can't really compare the two. One is where you sit down in front of a computer screen fantasizing and the other involves actually going places together and experiencing someone's physical presence. They are two totally different things. To deny that is to deny that being with someone physically trumps online relationships every time.

 

[Ausus_girl13]

Oh bloody hell LI and Ahren... I was playing a little bit of a devil's advocate. Which apparently you didn't pick up on. Cause you know, a sledge hammer is a little more your style apparently.

I was playing fast and loose with what you both were saying. What I want to know mostly now, is why you are so vehemently against it.

Why the fuck do you care?

 

[Light Ice]

Oh bloody hell you two... I was playing a little bit of a devil's advocate. Which apparently you didn't pick up on. Cause you know, a sledge hammer is a little more your style apparently.

I was playing fast and loose with what you both were saying. What I want to know mostly now, is why you are so vehemently against it.

Why the fuck do you care?

Why the fuck do people care that I think they're being stupid? What the hell kind of question is that? You invited this conversation by making the thread. If you didn't want people to think online dating was stupid and express that here, why make the conversation at all?

 

[Ausus_girl13]

Why the fuck do people care that I think they're being stupid? What the hell kind of question is that? You invited this conversation by making the thread. If you didn't want people to think online dating was stupid and express that here, why make the conversation at all?

Why turn the lens back on me?

I mean if there is something there that is obviously strong enough to force your hand in typing these words.. why?

 

[Light Ice]

I see the real question.

You're asking why I don't believe in online love, right?

Because I refuse to acknowledge that two people can honestly know one another, and the chemistry between them, and the level of their attraction without having met. And without those things I do not think you can love anyone.

 

[Hikari]

Wow the tension in here is so great that one could cut it with a knife.

I've heard it's actually quite good on toast...

 

[Ausus_girl13]

I see the real question.

You're asking why I don't believe in online love, right?

Because I refuse to acknowledge that two people can honestly know one another, and the chemistry between them, and the level of their attraction without having met. And without those things I do not think you can love anyone.

Okay- but why the consistent vitriol?

Wow the tension in here is so great that one could cut it with a knife.

I've heard it's actually quite good on toast...

Not really. I ~love~ LI- he's such a creamy sweetheart. I just can't help being a bit of a thorn in his side sometimes. He deserves it, that and he really likes it too.

Mmm sweet buttery tension.

 

[Light Ice]

Okay- but why the consistent vitriol?

I don't understand this question. If the online daters are allowed to make 5-threads dedicated to themselves and gush about their simulated love, why is it a question of motivation when I react to it?

 

[Magnes1976]

I see the real question.

You're asking why I don't believe in online love, right?

Because I refuse to acknowledge that two people can honestly know one another, and the chemistry between them, and the level of their attraction without having met. And without those things I do not think you can love anyone.

There can be love without physical attraction. This is the part i think some do not understand. People can and do love one another without meeting in person. As i said earlier. That love can be hurtful and deceitful and just a fantasy, but is still love. If that love hold when the two meet face to face, that is a different question.

 

[Light Ice]

There can be love without physical attraction.

That's the kind of love that siblings have. Or friends. It isn't romantic and it isn't what we're talking about at all.

 

[Hikari]

I see the real question.

You're asking why I don't believe in online love, right?

Because I refuse to acknowledge that two people can honestly know one another, and the chemistry between them, and the level of their attraction without having met. And without those things I do not think you can love anyone.

The reason people believe in online love Light is because people still believe love is unconditional. They think that it can magically happen without knowing how they get along offline. That sort of leap of faith appeals to people and seems romantic. In reality it's like playing the lottery to date someone you've never met. It's why some people never take it offline. Secretly they know that it may in fact have been all a happy delusion.

It's blind infatuation. Most people if given the chance to move in with a person they've only met online, would find they don't really know that person at all. Why? Because that truth would be staring them in the face once they realize the character flaws they couldn't see before.

So I absolutely agree with you. You can't know you love someone till you meet them.

 

[Light Ice]

The reason people believe in online love Light is because people still believe love is unconditional. They think that it can magically happen without knowing how they get along offline. That sort of leap of faith appeals to people and seems romantic. In reality it's like playing the lottery to date someone you've never met. It's why some people never take it offline. Secretly they know that it may in fact have been all a happy delusion.

It's blind infatuation. Most people if given the chance to move in with a person they've only met online, would find they don't really know that person at all. Why? Because that truth would be staring them in the face once they realize the character flaws they couldn't see before.

So I absolutely agree with you. You can't know you love someone till you meet them.

It's spineless to love someone online. It requires absolutely no compromise or discipline, no give or take, no action at all. You just type the word and there it is, a feeling, without anything to validate it at all.

 

[Azazael]

The reason people believe in online love Light is because people still believe love is unconditional. They think that it can magically happen without knowing how they get along offline. That sort of leap of faith appeals to people and seems romantic. In reality it's like playing the lottery to date someone you've never met. It's why some people never take it offline. Secretly they know that it may in fact have been all a happy delusion.

It's blind infatuation. Most people if given the chance to move in with a person they've only met online, would find they don't really know that person at all. Why? Because that truth would be staring them in the face once they realize the character flaws they couldn't see before.

So I absolutely agree with you. You can't know you love someone till you meet them.

What's so wrong with being in love with an idea? And who says the only love being expressed is the blind, unconditional, totally witless, leave your relationship or pack up and move love? I think that shows a remarkably low opinion of most on here.

 

[Light Ice]

What's so wrong with being in love with an idea? And who says the only love being expressed is the blind, unconditional, totally witless, leave your relationship or pack up and move love? I think that shows a remarkably low opinion of most on here.

I do have a very brutal opinion of most on here.

 

[Azazael]

I do have a very brutal opinion of most on here.

Yeah, I can see that. Why? I mean I can see most won't be your cup of tea, but still .....

 

[Light Ice]

Yeah, I can see that. Why? I mean I can see most won't be your cup of tea, but still .....

Why what?

 

[Azazael]

Why what?

Why bother hounding them so much? It just seems an interesting reaction when it's so obvious what you think. Is it a reaction to all the "thread derailments?" Just wondering what's in it for you when it's obvious that you have a few here that you do care about and can react with in a reasonable manner.

 

[Light Ice]

I don't understand this question. If the online daters are allowed to make 5-threads dedicated to themselves and gush about their simulated love, why is it a question of motivation when I react to it?

This.

If they voice their opinion why is it a question of "why" when I voice my own?

 

[Azazael]

This.

If they voice their opinion why is it a question of "why" when I voice my own?

Simplistic. I don't believe from what I've seen that that's a valid answer at all. Certainly your opinion is worth being voiced . . . when it's appropriate and in a reasonable manner. If it was just opinion then it would be delivered differently.

 

[Light Ice]

Simplistic. I don't believe from what I've seen that that's a valid answer at all. Certainly your opinion is worth being voiced . . . when it's appropriate and in a reasonable manner. If it was just opinion then it would be delivered differently.

So, what you're saying is, because my opinion upsets people it's not valid and there must be a greater motivation?

That's fucking retarded. I simply don't agree with people. They take offense to the way I look at their "love" and the fact I find it's an act of stupidity. They take offense to the fact that I look down on it.

It's a consequence of finding that behavior stupid. It's a consequence of a difference of opinion.

 

[Azazael]

So, what you're saying is, because my opinion upsets people it's not valid and there must be a greater motivation?

That's fucking retarded. I simply don't agree with people. They take offense to the way I look at their "love" and the fact I find it's an act of stupidity. They take offense to the fact that I look down on it.

It's a consequence of finding that behavior stupid. It's a consequence of a difference of opinion.

Well no. That's not what I'm saying at all. Your opinion may upset, just as equally as it may find sympathy and support.

The issue is seeming to be, as you have just demonstrated, that you can't debate without resorting to OTT expressions. Calling me fucking retarded. Why resort to that?

I can see your point, believe me. But for someone who seems to value correctness and free delivery of opinion, calling anyone else's opinion, or them for that matter, retarded, only diminishes your own views.

 

[Light Ice]

The issue is seeming to be, as you have just demonstrated, that you can't debate without resorting to OTT expressions. Calling me fucking retarded. Why resort to that?

I can see your point, believe me. But for someone who seems to value correctness and free delivery of opinion, calling anyone else's opinion, or them for that matter, retarded, only diminishes your own views.

You're being retarded, that's why I'm calling you retarded.

You don't have an argument here. You're just questioning my motivations. It's as baseless a question as any given the nature of the conversation. It's a dishonest means to approach the subject matter. Never, once, have I asked Grant or anyone else that has online dated "why" as a means to debate.

That question belongs in only in the shape of genuine curiosity and not as a defense to some position in an argument.

 

[Azazael]

You're being retarded, that's why I'm calling you retarded.

You don't have an argument here. You're just questioning my motivations. It's as baseless a question as any given the nature of the conversation. It's a dishonest means to approach the subject matter. Never, once, have I asked Grant or anyone else that has online dated "why" as a means to debate.

That question belongs in only in the shape of genuine curiosity and not as a defense to some position in an argument.

Yes, you are correct. My mental capacity is severely diminished as your wonder powers have so clearly managed to deduce. Perhaps you should move on to discussing handicaps in as equally a profound manner?

All I did was ask a question, to which you did or didn't have to answer. Please don't bully. It makes you look small and insignificant and will frighten off any others from adding their thoughts to Ausus's original question.

 

[Ausus_girl13]

I don't understand this question. If the online daters are allowed to make 5-threads dedicated to themselves and gush about their simulated love, why is it a question of motivation when I react to it?

Good point. So you serve a public service to us all. Balance out the "love" so to speak. The lounge is now a safer place- thank you! *snicker*

It's spineless to love someone online. It requires absolutely no compromise or discipline, no give or take, no action at all. You just type the word and there it is, a feeling, without anything to validate it at all.

That's blatantly unfair, and harsh. Precisely because the person pushing the button feels as if there is love behind it. You are taking ownership of their feelings and judging them on it. Yeah it may be stupid, but it's their life.

Okay, let me ask you this. When you and I play- is there nothing behind it? I'm not talking about feelings, except perhaps one. Lust. So when I've got you going (don't lie, I know I've done it), your words alone stand as to your feelings at that moment. YOU feel aroused, and so you press that button. There is feeling behind it, how is that different?

 

[Light Ice]

Okay, let me ask you this. When you and I play- is there nothing behind it? I'm not talking about feelings, except perhaps one. Lust. So when I've got you going (don't lie, I know I've done it), your words alone stand as to your feelings at that moment. YOU feel aroused, and so you press that button. There is feeling behind it, how is that different?

Wow.

I mean, if you can't tell the difference between feelings of love and cyber fucking, Ausus, I don't know what to say.