The Wheels of Fortune (closed for DarkWarrioress)

[DarkWarrioress]

Finally! Someone who understood what Brad was like without even meeting him.

“Exactly! That’s Brad. He was oh, so charming when we first met and even through the first year we were married, then things changed. Drastically.”

Tess stopped short of telling Arthur about the wounds Brad inflicted or the scars she bore, mentally and physically. She wasn’t sure why. Here was a man who understood.

He told her she was safe. Most of her believed him. There was still some small part of her that was fearful. However, the death grip around her glass eased as she spoke with Arthur.

Tess looked at Arthur in a different light. She told herself that he wasn’t the enemy. Still. She remembered him touching her, in the most unthreatening way, but still she felt herself shrinking away from him. Would that feeling ever go away? Like most women, she wanted to be loved. She wanted a partner. Someone she could share her soul with. Brad managed to ruin all that for her, but she had hope that one day….

​

“…..I’ll show you how it works later or tomorrow, but I don’t think you have to worry for now.”

“A panic room?” she looked at him curiously, “Why do you have a panic room? And I’d be grateful. Arthur. Just the thought of it makes me feel a little more at ease.”

He was also right. For now, Brad had no idea where she was. That also made her remember something.

“Arthur, is there a phone store in town? I need to see about a new phone service and a new phone. As long as Brad has my phone number he will always bother me. I tried blocking his number but he got around that somehow.”

 

[Tio_Narratore]

“Okay, Tess,” Arthur began, “the phone first. He probably took the easy way around your block - the same thing you’re going to do - get a new phone with a new number. Probably a burner phone so he couldn’t be traced.”

“Now your phone. The SMS card records geographic data, so anytime your phone is on, it’s recording your location. If you haven’t turned it on during your last travels, he won’t know where you’ve been via the phone. If you want to make sure, we’ll remove the card so there’ll be no way to get your location from your phone. We’ll go into town in the morning for a new phone and number for you.”

He motioned for Tess to help herself to the bourbon as he poured another whiskey for himself. He took a big sip.

“Yes, a panic room. Never needed it, but Emily and I had it designed in when we had the lodge built. Wealthy houses in secluded areas are prime targets for break and enter, if not home invasion, so we considered it a useful addition. Particularly so since there were times when Emily would be here alone. I’ll show you the details and how to activate it later if you want.”

It was curious, Arthur thought, that he felt so comfortable, so natural, opening up to this women he’d only met this afternoon. It was the shock of the similarities - the accident and the bourbon - he decided that did it, that left him feeling free to talk about Emily and himself for the first time in these past six years. He took another long sip and topped up his tumbler.

“Emily had a tough beginning too,” he started, “she loved pleasing people, and when she was a teen, she found a guy who was charming and who she was delighted to please. But it only worked one way. He began to expect her to please him with nothing in return, not even thanks. She was even willing to be shared with his friends. At least that’s what he led her to believe. Then one night, as she told me, the ‘friend’ pulled off his belt and started beating her. She asked him to stop, and he told her he wouldn’t because he’d paid her boyfriend a hundred bucks to beat and fuck her.”

“She let him have his way, and the next morning, sore as she was, she packed up a few things and left the bastard of a boyfriend. She resolved to do better, and found a job as a waitress, applied to a college, and that’s where I met her.”

“I was a writer in residence there, and she registered for my seminar on the ‘Post-Modern Novel.’ We met from six to eight on Friday evenings, and afterwards myself and a few of the more interested students would head to the campus pub to continue our discussions. She was one of the group, a very perceptive student, able to quickly see the center of things in a novel, and everywhere else.”

“Came the end of the term, and we had our last trip together to the pub. I had my usual; the bartenders all knew me, and poured it without my telling them what to pour. As we said our goodbyes for the summer, Emily stayed behind to be the last student to leave. She smiled meekly at me as she handed me a package. I opened it and found a bottle of Redbreast - my usual. She had observed the bartenders pouring, and she was the only one of the students who knew what my usual was. I was impressed. I asked her to drop by my office once the grades were posted. She did, and I asked her out to dinner. She accepted, and that was the beginning. We became lovers and eventually married. She wrote as well, but she was very reactive and became a leading reviewer in the art scene - literature, music, dance, painting, everything. Her perceptivity was overwhelming.”

“We really complemented each other. She was happy to do things for me - anything, and I was happy to receive her gifts. But I was also tuned to her needs. And I learned to tell her to do things that I knew she wanted to do. We played lots of games - sexual and other - and even turned to writing little notes with themes or ideas for the other to develop an evening or day or more around.”

Arthur threw back the rest of his drink.

“That’s about all I can say now, Tess,” he said with that sad look on his face again.

 

[DarkWarrioress]

As she listened to him explain about her phone, she poured herself another drink and sat down again.

“Thank you, Arthur. Unfortunately, I always have my phone on, at least until today after I got his text message, then I simply turned it off because I didn’t want to deal with him.”

It was time to change the subject. She hated talking about Brad.

“I guess I never thought breaking and entering. Your home would definitely fit the bill. As for Emily, I’m sorry I brought you sad thoughts, Arthur. Please forgive me.”

She grew quiet and sipped her drink, lost in her own thoughts. She wondered how nice would be to be able to have an intimate relationship with someone like him. Someone who could make her feel safe and secure. Someone she would be attracted to. Arthur was a handsome man and he was considerate and kind. She supposed it would be easy to fall in love with him if he wasn’t still mourning the loss of his late wife. It sounded like Emily left big footprints to try and walk in, something she wasn’t qualified to do.

Tess didn’t understand about relationships based around Dominance and submission. It wasn’t her cup of tea, especially after Brad. Although from what Arthur had spoken of, Brad hardly qualified as a Dominant and more like a bully and selfish prick. She knew there were women out there that enjoyed pain, she just didn’t happen to be one of them. To be fair, which was hard to do, especially not the way Brad presented it. She never understood why Brad felt the need to beat her. She would have done anything for him, before all the bad stuff started happening.

She was trying to figure out where they had gone wrong. She thought their married life had been good. Their sex life certainly had been, at first. She had always found Brad masterful and that turned her on, she admitted to herself. She recalled one time, she was in the bathroom, having just finished showering and was standing in front of the sink brushing her teeth. Brad came in, slipping his arms around her from behind, watching her in the mirror as his hands slid down over her hips, taking her towel with it until she could feel his hard-on pressed up against her ass cheeks. His fingers found their way down over her stomach and slid between her legs, finding her clit. His mouth was sucking on the side of her neck, causing goosebumps to pop up on her skin. His cock rubbed against her ass as his lips slipped up to her ear.

“I wanna fuck you, Tess. Right here. Right now.”

Her nipples hardened into tight buds as he pushed her body over the sink, lifting her up on her tiptoes.

“Spread your legs for me, honey. That’s it. Spread them wider.”

He held onto her hips as he wedged himself between her legs, the tip of his cock finding her wet pussy and slid in between her lips.

“Oh god, baby. Just like that.”

His cock slid into her, pressing forward until she felt the base of his cock against her. He ground his hips against her.

“Push your ass back against me, Tess,” he groaned as she complied, “grind yourself down on my cock. Fuck, yeah. Now hold still.”

He started to fuck her in earnest, sawing back and forth inside her. The only sounds that echoed around their small bathroom were their moans of pleasure and the wet noises of their fucking. Brad started to buck her hips into the sink, harder and harder. She felt his teeth sink into the back of her neck, making her grip the sides of the sink tightly.

“One of these days, Tess,“ he panted in her ear, “I wanna learn how to fuck your womb. I wanna learn how to crack open your cervix and slide right into your womb and fill it with my hot cum. I’m gonna make you pregnant, Tess.”

He promised her. She was glad he didn’t do it.

Tess gave herself a small mental shake and quickly came back to the present.

“Is there anywhere you would like me to start tomorrow, Arthur?” She asked in a slightly shaky voice.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

I guess I never thought breaking and entering. Your home would definitely fit the bill. As for Emily, I’m sorry I brought you sad thoughts, Arthur. Please forgive me.

“No need to apologize, Tess,” Arthur said. “I haven’t spoken to anyone about her for years. I guess it’s time I did.”

That thought had been floating around in Arthur’s mind for a while now. Maybe it was time - maybe long past time - to move on. Was that the message from the fates? A reminder of the accident and of Emily to spur him out of his fixation on Emily. He hadn’t even had sex in two years; would Emily have approved of that? It was something he’d have to give more thought to.

He looked at Tess; she seemed to be in some sort of reverie. She was sitting still, her eyes fixed, and her glass in her hand, motionless. All that stirred, Arthur noticed, were her nipples; they had become quite erect, straining at the cloth that held them. Yes, he thought, she must have sexual memories - pleasant memories - too. He waited for her to come out of it and then proceeded as if he hadn’t noticed.

Her attention back, she asked him where he’d like her to start tomorrow.

“First thing tomorrow has to be your phone,” he said, “but before tomorrow, there’s things we need to deal with tonight.”

He took another drink and topped off Tess’s glass.

“Your skills and experience, for a start, and then I can make a list of places you can try. Do you have a resumé? If you want to write one and print copies tonight, you can use my office. After that, I think a bit of dinner is in order. We can do a frozen here or order in.”

He paused a moment.

“Or,” he resumed, “I’d be pleased to take you out. And then after dinner, I can show you how the master bedroom qua panic room works.”

 

[DarkWarrioress]

Tess nodded. “I do have a resume. It’s on my laptop. I’ll go get it.”

She set down her drink and went to the room Arthur had given her and rummaged around in her bag for her laptop. Finding it, she rejoined Arthur and opened it up, locating her resume. She brought it up and leaned forward to pass it over to Arthur.

“Here you go. One resume. As you can see, I never stayed in one place for very long because of Brad tracking me down.”

She had tried to condense her resume as much as possible. No one wanted to have to read through pages of work experience. What she had wanted to accomplish with her life, college, certifications and work experience was all listed. She could have easily ticked off on her fingers the jobs she had held. Waitress, janitor, cook, animal care, daycare worker, bookkeeper, personal assistant and few others were listed. At the bottom were a few references, mainly old employers. She had maybe two personal references as well. Tess had made very few friends. Brad had always made that difficult for her. In her mind it was simply safer for everyone if she just kept to herself. It had been a lonely existence. She glanced over at Arthur and wondered what he was thinking.

Tess discreetly studied him as he poured over her resume, wondering more about his relationship with Emily. There seemed to be a few things she and Emily shared; they both had enjoyed being of service to others. Tess couldn’t explain the feeling of satisfaction it had given her to serve others. Growing up, her childhood hadn’t been the greatest. Her mom always seemed to be sick and it was years before Tess knew that her mother had cancer. Breast cancer. Her father left them sometime shortly after her mother had taken ill. Tess had a younger sister and brother and with no one to help out, she had stepped up to care for her younger siblings. It was tough, but she actually enjoyed it. Most of the time.

That was in the past. Her siblings were now all grown up with lives of their own. Tess’ one regret was that they hadn’t stayed in touch and because of that, had grown apart. There was a card at Christmas time and the occasional birthday one, but those stopped coming when Tess started moving around. It never failed to amaze her how isolated Brad had made her and how she had allowed him to do so. Her red hair was a testament to her temper. However, Brad made sure to knock that out of her.

Her thoughts switched back to Emily and wondered about their sex life. Arthur said something about being submissive and she wondered what that entailed. She wasn’t about to ask Arthur, however. She felt that was too invasive. Plus, she had just met him and it would be poor manners to do so. No, she’d contain her curiosity and go about earning her keep while she lived with him.

​

“Or, I’d be pleased to take you out. And then after dinner, I can show you how the master bedroom qua panic room works.”

Tess was brought out of her meandering thoughts by Arthur speaking and bit her lip. She couldn’t make up her mind. One part of her said she couldn’t let him spend any more money on her. There was another part of her that found the idea pleasing to go out with him.

“If you don’t mind, I’d like to take a quick shower and change my clothes. I would love to have dinner with you, Arthur.”

There. It had been that simple. She really needed to learn to get out of her own head. She had never enjoyed having a meal with a man since her divorce.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

"Resume first, and then dinner," Arthur insisted.

Arthur studied her resume carefully, but did notice how Tess had drifted off in thought again. He didn’t try to guess what was on her mind; his mind was on her resume.

“Not bad,” he said, “but all those different jobs inside of two years makes you look like a very unstable hire. We have to make it positive for you. The fact that you take short term employment could work in your favor, though it won’t help the salary offer. Prospective employers will know you’re not going to be hanging on looking for raises and benefits.”

He handed the laptop back.

“I’d suggest two things, if I may,” he continued. “Don’t list them in chronological order. Group together similar jobs and give the dates in paragraph form. It looks more manageable, then, and less like you were jumping around wildly. Secondly, explain it as a lifestyle choice - that you choose to work short term because it enables you to see the country.”

He topped off his drink and had a small sip.

“It might also help if you listed your present job,” he added. “And seeing you’re a certified bookkeeper, I’d like to offer you something a bit more challenging than general household help. Would you be willing to take on the position of part-time head of house? You’d be responsible for overseeing the maintenance and expenses of keeping the lodge. We could try it out for a month or so, and then we’d see what might come next. I’d expect you’d need an additional five hours a week, all at your own schedule, of course, and I’ll add forty dollars an hour for the extra five. The rest of your time is as we already agreed, for room, board, and use of a car. And, of course, you can list me as a reference.”

He looked at her as she thought about his suggestions and his offer. Again there was a reminder of Emily in her education, her skills, and her experience. Just a reminder, he thought, she wasn’t a replacement for Emily, wasn’t another Emily. But that was as it should be. All this. He decided, was a message from fate or from Emily that he should move on, that he should find a new partner to share the pleasures and pains of life with. Was it Tess, he wondered. He had been immediately attracted to her, and, he felt, not just for her looks; there was something else. And there was something to transcend, to overcome. Her physical discomfort with men. Perhaps that was why her fate and fortune brought her here; maybe she needed to move beyond something as well. Maybe they were destined to help each other.

He put those thoughts out off his mind, not wanting to turn the events into something more than they might be.

“So, Tess,” he said after a while. “What do you think?” Shall we discuss it over dinner?"

 

[DarkWarrioress]

As Arthur gave her some good advice regarding her resume, she nodded her head.

“I’ll make those changes later tonight. Thank you for the advice, Arthur. It’s sound advice.”

She took a sip of her drink.

“So, Tess, what do you think? Shall we discuss it over dinner?"

“That sounds like a perfect plan, Arthur. In the meantime, I’ll go freshen up and meet you back down here, say, in about thirty minutes?”

Arthur had given her time to think over his proposal. The added responsibility was huge in her book and he was willing to entrust it to her, a stranger really. There was still space for her to do her own thing as well. Time would be tight but if she organized it just right, she could do it.

Tess had to admit to herself that living with Arthur gave her a measure of feeling safe. Even if Brad found her, there was the panic room Arthur was going to show her later. She could always lock herself up in that until the police or Arthur came.

Arthur. He was an enigma in her eyes. There was a lot about his life with Emily she knew he didn’t say and she wasn’t going to push him to. He had entrusted her with what he had so far and she would hold that trust. She had to admit though, she was curious not only about his wife, but their life together.

There was this tiny curious imp on her shoulder that wanted to know about their sexual relationship, but Tess kept pushing it away, telling herself it was none of her business. Arthur told her that Emily enjoyed pleasing and that they played games together. Emily must have pleased him because it was clear he had adored her. Their relationship was a curious thing.

Tess hurried along with a very quick shower and padded to her bedroom closet and pulled out a simple dress with a sweetheart neckline and flared out from her waist. She chose sandals that strapped around her ankles. A quick brush to her hair, running her fingers through the long red tresses, letting it fall back onto her shoulders. A quick spritz of a cologne that was floral, plumerias, to be exact and she was out the door and headed back downstairs to meet Arthur for dinner. She couldn’t remember the last time she had a dinner date with a handsome man. Maybe she really was starting to move forward.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

Arthur smiled as Tess headed upstairs. He followed soon after, and went to his room to shower and dress. He felt odd, but pleasantly odd, preparing for a dinner date. His mind bounced back and forth between dinners out with Emily and his impending dinner with Tess. He found himself imagining a goodnight kiss with Tess, but quickly put that out of his mind. That might be going too far, he thought, considering her present discomfort with the touch of a man. No, he finally decided as he finished trimming his beard and splashing on a dash of his favorite cologne. She and I both have things to work through carefully. He was serious, but couldn’t help but let out a little laugh that he - Emily’s unconstrained lover - would worry about a simple kiss.

His thoughts continued from there, however, thoughts of what had Tess suffered at the hands of Brad, what their sex life was like, what would help Tess put her past behind her, Shoes, slacks, sport shirt, and blazer on, he started downstairs. Tess arrived a few minutes later.

“I’d ask where you’d like to go,” he said with a smile, “but I guess you don’t know the eateries around here. My I suggest the Midway Diner; it’s about forty minutes away.”

The Midway had good traditional American fare, a pretty safe choice, and it was reasonably priced, lest he risk unnecessarily intimidating her with his wealth. There would be a time for finer dining in the future, he thought, after all, she will be here for a few months at least.

He led her to the garage, saying “Let’s take the car rather than the SUV.”

Once there, he opened the passenger door to his McLaren GT for her to take a seat.

 

[DarkWarrioress]

“I’d ask where you’d like to go, but I guess you don’t know the eateries around here. My I suggest the Midway Diner; it’s about forty minutes away.”

She shook her head slightly with a smile.

“I don’t and my car is out of commission, so I guess you’ll have to drive and the Midway Diner sounds just fine, Arthur.”

He opened the door for her and she slid into the car with a soft sigh. Arthur’s car was something out of her league, especially compared to her little beat-up car. Tess had never been one to compare lifestyles. Life, was life. People were people. Material things had never been a priority with her. People and how they treated each other was far more important. She missed laughing, missed enjoying herself. She missed sharing all that with someone and if she was truthful, if she could get over this issue she had with men being close or touching her, she had to admit that she missed the intimacy of having a sexual relationship. Her mind had turned to consider having such a relationship with a woman, but just as quickly tossed it aside. Women often made good friends, when you could find such, but an intimate relationship with one? It just wasn’t her cup of tea.

The past two years she had been solely focused on living and making ends meet. There had been no time for men or relationships, however brief. Even as a bartender, she had flirted with men across the bar, but even that had made her feel uncomfortable. Still, if she wanted tips to supplement her income, it was expected. The first bar she had worked in had been in a normal local bar. So, men, drinks and flirting went hand in hand. The second bar she worked in, she got lucky and landed a job in a higher end neighborhood. There, the flirting was a lot less and she had felt safer.

Her voice softly broke the silence in the car.

“What do you write about, Arthur? If you don’t mind me asking or perhaps, I should have asked what your book was about.”

 

[Tio_Narratore]

"I'm called a post modern surrealist, and I write about people, people in normal situations that gradually, or suddenly. turn into extraordinary experiences. My last novel - my eighth - was about a couple who married and then began drifting apart. They decide to take a romantic weekend in a secluded California cottage in hopes of rekindling the romance. A perfectly commonplace situation and response. They're delighted when they arrive at the cottage to find it's ultra-modern, and built in the form of an unfolded tesseract - a hypercube - with all its walls of clear glass. No matter; it's still private. There's not another house to be seen. What does matter is that it's erected on right over a branch of the San Andreas Fault. There's a minor earthquake, but the cottage falls in on itself, taking them into the fourth dimension. That's when things get strange."

He paused a moment.

"There's a copy in the study, if you'd like to read it anytime."

“And then there’s the novel I’ve been trying to write. What’s it about? I wish I knew. I’ve had half a dozen apparently good starts, but the story fades away after a chapter or two.”

 

[DarkWarrioress]

Tess wanted to ask him how things got strange, but for some reason, withheld the question. She’d make it a point to seek out the book in the study.

“I’d like to read it, thank you. I’ll find it tomorrow.”

“And then there’s the novel I’ve been trying to write. What’s it about? I wish I knew. I’ve had half a dozen apparently good starts, but the story fades away after a chapter or two.”

Tess canted her head slightly as she regarded him in the darkened interior of the car, lit only by the panel lights.

“If you don’t mind sharing, what were the starts about? I’m curious.”

To herself, she wondered how Emily fit into this equation. Arthur had said she was his inspiration. Tess was curious how, but at this point, she didn’t want to bring Emily into the conversation and upset Arthur. Instead, Tess turned her head to stare out the window and watch the moving scenery although there was little to actually see as the night rolled in. She often wondered how authors not only got inspiration but how they used it when they wrote. For her, something had to move her emotions, get her to thinking and feeling.

It wasn’t long before Arthur was pulling up to the Midway Diner. It was a cozy little spot. There wasn’t anything that made it stand out and Tess gave a little sigh of pleasure as the car stopped. This was perfect. After the day she had, a bit of peace and quiet to enjoy a good meal with, sounded like perfection.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

“Okay,” said Arthur. “But about my starts . . . Authors are usually reluctant to discuss their starts, even with their publishers, who are often very demanding about it. Mine is fairly easy, but, still, she’s unhappy that I haven’t given her a best seller in almost six years.”

He paused a moment

“That reminds me, I have a meeting in town with her next week. If you’d like to come along, you’re welcome. There’s time to think about it.”

“Back to my starts . . . They each have to do with a lost love - not a surprise, I guess - and each love is lost in a different way, but none of the starts seemed to have found where to go. The story doesn’t write itself out in my mind at all. They may go as far as two chapters, but they don’t even make complete short stories. They start, and then seem to fade away, not knowing where to go.”

As the sky darkened, Arthur pointed out the changing landscapes in the darkness, views that people usually didn’t have, often seeing only darkness. He stopped at one point, and a mother black bear stepped out of the woods, leading her two cubs across the road.

“You have to be careful of the wildlife around here. It was their land first.”

The lights of a small village soon brightened the darkness, and they pulled into the Midway Diner. The lights were soft, old incandescent lamps, not the glaring phosphorus ones that replaced them in many areas. It was cosy and welcoming, and Arthur led Tess to a table for two by a window facing the forest. A drink first, and then to order. And conversation throughout.

 

[DarkWarrioress]

“That reminds me, I have a meeting in town with her next week. If you’d like to come along, you’re welcome. There’s time to think about it.”

Tess opened her mouth to decline but stopped herself. He was right, she had time to think about it.

“Back to my starts . . . They each have to do with a lost love - not a surprise, I guess - and each love is lost in a different way, but none of the starts seemed to have found where to go. The story doesn’t write itself out in my mind at all. They may go as far as two chapters, but they don’t even make complete short stories. They start, and then seem to fade away, not knowing where to go.”

That seemed sad to her. Characters that could no longer speak and just seemed to fade into nothingness.

The bear that stepped out into the road caught her attention and she braced herself. There was little need for her concern. Arthur was an excellent driver and had the car well under control.

They went inside the diner and she loved the view of the forest from their table. Even though it was growing dark and there wasn’t much to see. She turned her head back to her companion of the evening.

“Does it bother you to be trapped in this writer’s block, Arthur?”

Their waitress came and they ordered their drinks. Tess knew she was reaching her limit for alcohol for the night but one more drink wouldn’t hurt, especially since she would soon be eating as well.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

The waitress returned just as Arthur was about to answer. She asked for their order and offered them the wine and beer list.

“No, thank you,” replied Arthur. “The one drink is enough for me now. I’ll be driving back in the dark. But I will have one of your famous cherry lemonades.”

“But you can feel free, Tess,” he said as he turned towards his companion.

Arthur laughed lightly as he returned to the conversation with Tess. Another reminder, another indicator, perhaps.

“Yes, Tess, it does bother me. After all, I’m a writer, and if I’m not writing, what am I then?”

He took a sip of his drink.

“When I had trouble writing,” he continued, “this is one of the places Emily and I would go to talk. Sometimes it would help. We didn’t talk about what I was writing; that would only make it more difficult. We’d talk about something else. Any thing.”

“That’s how a muse works, actually. A muse doesn’t give you the substance, she opens your mind and spirit to ideas, concepts, and the like. It can be by talking to you, or taking you for a walk, or to the theater, or with a kiss. Sometimes she hands you a fantastic orgasm, and smiles as the blood rushes to your brain, randomly opening new neural paths.”

“So here we are, and we can talk. Will it help? I don’t know. What should we talk about? Perhaps our inverse differences. Here I am, staying in one place, self-imprisoned in the loss of a great relationship. And here you are, moving around, trying to escape from a rotten relationship. We both need to be moving on, beyond our pasts. Maybe in talking we can help each other do that, Maybe you’ll find a way to move physically beyond your past; maybe I’ll find a way to move emotionally beyond mine.”

The waitress arrived with their dinners

 

[DarkWarrioress]

Tess shook her head and turned to look out of the window they were sitting in front of.

“As of right now? I see no way to move past all that has been where I am concerned. You’ve seen it. I can hardly stand to be touched by a man and when I do manage it, my body involuntarily stiffens up out of fear. It’s just not something I’ve learned to control or move beyond.”

She turned back to her food, pushing it around the plate and thought that it was a shame to do that, so she made the effort to eat. The steak was excellent, cooked just the way she had asked for it. The vegetables were steamed to perfection. The company, she glanced at him. The company she could find no fault in and logically she knew he was not out to harm her. Silently, she cursed Brad for doing this to her and herself as well for not being able to move past everything that had gone on before.

“I don’t know how to get past this. I know, for instance, that you are not out to hurt me. Still, I can’t stop the immediate reaction I have if you come to close. There is always a solution to any problem. I just haven’t been able to find it. I used to think that maybe another man who could replace the damage that was done by something else, might be the answer but allowing someone to get that close to me again causes a panic. How did Emily get past her bad experiences?”

Tess paused then apologized.

“I’m sorry. Arthur. I don’t know why I brought Emily into this conversation, especially when you didn’t want to continue talking about her earlier.”

 

[Tio_Narratore]

“No need to apologize, Tess. Maybe I do need to talk about her. Maybe it will help me move on.”

Arthur rested his fork and knife on the plate.

“She did get past her bad experiences,” he began, “and she told me how she did. I was very impressed.”

“A couple of months after she left the guy, she realized he had stolen something very important from her - her sense of sexual pleasure. Yes, she had enjoyed their sex and the sex she had with his friends. She enjoyed being man-handled. It excited her to find a man driven wild with lust for her. She even enjoyed being told what to wear and how to act to arouse a man. And she even found pleasure in the sting of the belt, in the fear of the beating.”

“But once she discovered he was selling her, she realized he had no feelings for her, that he was just using her, that there was no appreciation for her submission, she lost all sense of pleasure in sex. She resented that, and resolved to find a way to regain her pleasure. And she did.”

“She began re-imagining her sexual encounters with him and others, but now with a focus on her pleasure. She’d masturbate to these revised memories to imbue them with real sexual pleasure. And after a few months of this self-therapy, she began having sex again. She’d pick up men in clubs or bars or the park, making sure they were likely to appreciate having sex with her, that they’d care about her pleasure. It worked, and, finally, she decided to find one man who would love her the way she was. I was lucky enough to be that man for her.”

Arthur looked into Tess’ eyes for a moment and then returned to his dinner, awaiting her words.

 

[DarkWarrioress]

As Arthur set down his fork to speak further, Tess did the same thing. Her attention was rivetted on the man across the table from her. When he was finished speaking and had once again picked up his fork to eat, Tess remained silent as she too returned to eating. However, she simply pushed the food around on her plate as she thought about Emily.

“You know, Arthur,” she broke the companionable silence between them, “Emily was a courageous woman. I don’t think I can do what she did to take back her power. I’m not sure yet how I am going to go about it, but I am going to do something. I must. All the good emotions and feelings that Brad gave me in the beginning are overshadowed by what he did to me in the last few months of our relationship.”

That made her laugh a little.

“That’s funny, calling what happened in the end a relationship. It’s nowhere close to comparing it to a relationship at all. It was abuse, pure and simple.”

Brad had inflicted pain upon pain on her person and looking back, she didn’t believe there had been even one iota of pleasure in it. Could pain be pleasurable? She didn’t see how, not with her past experiences. She did have to admit that in the beginning, the sex had been great. Tess was smart enough to realize that not every man was like Brad. So, it was reasonable to assume that she could enjoy being close to a man again, someday.

“I must admit, in the beginning of our relationship, I enjoyed sex. It was great. I’m not sure what happened to make him hate me so much that I became his personal punching bag. I’m hoping that someday I’ll find someone who will be able to help me over this so I can truly move on.”

There had to be a way for her to self-heal. She didn’t feel comfortable confiding in a therapist about her past. Although they were professionals, trained in helping people like her, she simply thought she could do this without professional help. Or so she hoped.

“Any plan on how you’re going to move on from Emily aside from being able to speak about her?”

Wondering if her question too intrusive, she added, “If I’m being too invasive, please forgive me. It’s just that I find you quite…. intriguing, Arthur.”

It wasn’t a small conversational lie either. She was fascinated by him. He was a writer and even though he hadn’t found anything to really sink his teeth into in years, she found herself hoping he would get back to the other thing he loved doing, writing.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

Arthur blushed slightly at Tess’ comment.

“I’m flattered, Tess,” he responded, “but to answer your question, I have no plans on how to move on. I didn’t expect to be moving at all.”

“I guess it was meeting you and the shock of seeing the damage to your car that did it. I’d given up on moving on a few years ago. I think now that I may have made it impossible, that I was looking for another Emily, but that wasn’t the way to go. There was - is - no other Emily, and there shouldn’t be. But where I go from here, I don’t know.”

“It’s interesting meeting you and hearing your story. Both of us dealing with lost love. You running from your lost love, me stuck in one place with my lost love. And the two of us not doing anything to find love, one of us hoping it will come her way, the other accepting the hopelessness.”

He paused a few moments in thught as he finished his dinner.

“You know,” he said with brightening eyes, “we’re like the characters in the stories I’ve started. They’ve all lost love, and the stories can’t go anywhere because the characters are waiting for something to happen. It’s like a Greek play where the problem is resolved by a deus ex machina, by some agent outside the problem who appears out of nowhere and solves everything.”

“But it really doesn’t work that way. The gods have no interest in the problems of mere mortals. My characters - maybe ourselves - need someone to take hold of the threads of our fates and weave them together.”

He paused again and a smile spread over his face.

“Yes,” he exclaimed, “I think that may be it. I haven’t written six dead-end tales; they’re all one tale, waiting to be woven together. Thank you, Tess. Thank you.”

He reached over the table and took hold of her hand, squeezing it gently as he thanked her. ‘Yes,’ he thought, ‘muses act in odd ways,’ realizing that her story had been the prod that opened his mind to the story he needed to write. And he looked forward to getting back to the lodge to show her how the panic room worked and to sit and talk with her some more.

 

[DarkWarrioress]

“Yes,” he exclaimed, “I think that may be it. I haven’t written six dead-end tales; they’re all one tale, waiting to be woven together. Thank you, Tess. Thank you.”

“I---”

Tess stopped abruptly as Arthur reached across the table to squeeze her hand. She was stunned. She didn’t pull away from his touch this time. No, it had felt like a friendly gesture that friends would make comfortably. She looked from their hands to his face. The wonder she had felt was in her eyes for even him to see. She gently pulled her hand out from under his and smiled at him, while speaking softly.

“No. Thank you Arthur.”

Tess wasn’t exactly sure what she was thanking him for. As her hands fell to her lap, she turned her gaze out the window, to peer into the darkness. Maybe there was hope for her yet. Maybe what had just happened was simply a fluke, but she doubted that. Always. Always anytime a male had touched her, she had withdrawn. Even from Arthur, she had withdrawn from his previous touches. What had made this time any different? Maybe it was because of their need to move along. To get over what they had been through. Maybe they both had just taken that first step.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

Arthur was so involved in the possible solution to his writing dilemma that he barely noticed Tess’ reaction. But he did notice that she hadn’t instinctively withdrawn her hand.

Before he could fully process that observation, he was confounded by her “thank you.” What was she thanking him for, he wondered; after all, she was the one who had inspired his idea. He let it pass, but still felt good that he had done something for her.

Dinner finished, they headed back to the lodge, chatting about dinner, the darkness of the forest, and job prospects for Tess. Once inside, Arthur brought her directly to the master bedroom, ushering her in with his hand pressed lightly on the small of her back. As he turned on the light, a large full-length painting of Emily unclothed came into view. Arthur blushed.

“I’m sorry, Tess,” he said as he turned to her. “It always hung in the study. I brought it up here to keep me company at night.”

An odd look came over his face.

“I guess if I’m going to move on I should hang it back down in the study,” he said with a little sadness.

He stepped over and removed it, standing it against the wall with the back facing out.

“Here’s a switch for the panic room,” he said as he pointed it out on the wall next to the door. “There’s another one on the headboard. When you press it, the door seals with steel tongues all around. When it's activated, you press twice to open it again. The outer walls of the room are steel as well. There’s a fridge and pantry and the water supply is separate from the main lines.”

“And here,” he began as he led her to a bookcase against the back wall, “is an emergency exit.”

He pulled a book on the shelf, and the bookcase swung open revealing a narrow staircase.

“It leads out to the back, through a crawl space under the swimming pool.”

“And so that’s it, if you ever need it,” he said. “The bedroom door is always unlocked. Just run in, close the door, and press the switch.”

He paused, then, his eyes fixed on Tess. It struck him that this was the first time a woman had been in the lodge since Emily had died. It also struck him that he was at a loss as to how he should act. She was attractive, and he was lonely. But she was running from abuse and he was still wrapped up in Emily. Yes, there were the coincidences, but no, she wasn’t a replacement for Emily. She was Tess, and he wanted to help her.

“Sorry,” he said as he realized he was staring at her. “My mind was wandering. I hope I didn’t offend you.”

He took a deep breath.

“Shall we go downstairs for a coffee or a drink?” he asked.

 

[DarkWarrioress]

Surrounded by darkness, both outside and inside of the car, the warmth that came from the heater and the good food resting in her belly made Tess a bit sleepy. They made small talk but Tess couldn’t have said about what. Once arriving back home, Tess got out of the car and followed Arthur inside. He immediately took her upstairs, opening the door to the master bedroom. The first thing she saw was a full-length portrait of whom, she presumed, was Emily. Naked. Beautiful.

“I’m sorry, Tess. It always hung in the study. I brought it up here to keep me company at night.”

It was rather sweet albeit sad. She didn’t know what it felt like to lose someone so precious. Poor Arthur. His next words brought a small smile to her lips.

“I guess if I’m going to move on I should hang it back down in the study.”

She could hear the sadness in his voice and she wanted to do say something that cheered him up, even if it was just a little bit.

“The study might be a good place for her, Arthur. Especially if you’re going to be spending a lot of time in there now.”

She watched as he stepped up to the painting, take it down and turn it to face the wall.

“You didn’t have to do that. I don’t find her offensive. In fact, she was quite beautiful.”

Arthur went on to explain how to activate the panic room. He pointed out the two switches, one by the door and one on the headboard of the bed. Tess nodded, concentrating on what he was saying. She watched as he showed her where an emergency door was. Amazing. He had thought of everything. Just in case.

It took her a minute to realize that he had stopped speaking and was staring at her intently. She must had fidgeted or something.

“Sorry. My mind was wandering. I hope I didn’t offend you.”

Tess gave her head a small shake. She was about to say something when he spoke up again.

“Shall we go downstairs for a coffee or a drink?”

She turned, stepped back through the bedroom entrance and moved to one side as she waited for him to join her.

“Coffee for me. I’ve had enough to drink tonight. My mind seems to be wandering as well.”

She had a fleeting thought of what it might be like to bear the scrutiny of his intense focus. The thought, and she had to be honest with herself, was squarely on intimacy as in sexual intimacy.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

“You didn’t have to do that. I don’t find her offensive. In fact, she was quite beautiful.”

“I’m sorry,” he replied, “And thank you for the complement. Yes, she was very beautiful.”

Still, he left the painting turned towards the wall, perhaps more for himself than for Tess.

“Coffee for me. I’ve had enough to drink tonight. My mind seems to be wandering as well.”

“Two coffees it is, then,” he declared as he joined her at the head of the staircase and proceeded slowly down.

Arthur’s mind flooded with thoughts, with sensations, at each step. He realized what was in his mind when he stared at Tess: she was the first woman to enter the master bedroom since Emily had died, and he was unconsciously trying to sort it all out. Why was he so open with Tess; he spoke as comfortably with her as if they were old friends, or even old lovers, yet he had only met her some hours earlier.

Lovers - yes - Emily, her portrait, that is, was his only lover for nearly two years, a lover in his mind only. Was Tess destined to be his lover? His senses pricked at the thought, and he became intensely aware of her scent. And of her voice, of the sound of her clothes as she walked, of the physical sense of her being near him. By the time they reached the last step he had become aroused, his organ pressing against the cloth of his pants. For a fleeting moment he saw himself taking her in his arms and carrying her back upstairs, back to the bedroom. It was the first time in nearly two years that he had thoughts of making love to someone other than Emily, and the thoughts where starting to overwhelm him.

No, he said to himself. Emphatically no. It felt good to be aroused, good to want to have sex with a live woman, but she was a fragile woman still, reluctant to get close to a man after what her husband had done to her. No, he thought again; he wouldn’t do something that would hurt her, would imperil her healing.

By the time they reached the kitchen, his erection had subsided, but he wondered if she had sensed his arousal; it had seemed so intense to him for those few moments that he couldn’t imagine her not being aware.

“How do you like your coffee?” he asked as he started up the coffee maker and looked forward to sitting and talking with her over a cup or two.

 

[DarkWarrioress]

As she walked shoulder to shoulder with him downstairs, something had shifted slightly. Was it just her or had the air between them become somewhat charged? All she knew for sure was that she had become ultra aware of him as a man. She could smell him, whether it was a cologne or the soap he used, it contributed to her awareness of him. Tess bit on her upper lip as they descended. She felt confused, nervous and just a wee bit scared of what she was feeling. She was finding him someone that was easy to speak to, as if they were long time friends, someone she could trust with anything. That feeling probably frightened her the most. She had never felt that way before. Ever. Her mind flashed back to the master bedroom and she saw herself on the bed, with him. Tess gave her head a shake which brought her out of her thoughts as they moved into the kitchen and she sat at the island, watching Arthur get down coffee mugs and turn towards the coffeemaker.

“How do you like your coffee?”

She glanced at him startled for a moment.

“With cream please.”

She managed to stammer out. She clasped her hands together on the island top.

“Have you or Emily ever have to use the panic room or the emergency exit before?”

Tess circumspectly studied Arthur as he busied himself making the coffee and soon the aroma of his efforts filled the air between then, taking the place of the charged atmosphere of earlier. Tess found herself relaxing again. It still puzzled her about what had happened on the staircase but she filed it away to study at a later date. Arthur was an enigma to her at this point. There was nothing he had said or done today that gave her any reason to be wary of him. She just didn’t get that vibe from him. She had plenty of experience with being wary of a wolf dressed in sheep’s clothing. It was just something she didn’t feel about this man before her. Tess was beginning to believe that Fate had brought them into the same sphere. Perhaps for a reason that was yet to be unveiled. Time would tell, she supposed silently.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

Arthur laughed at Tess’ question as he placed the mugs on a tray and led the way to the living room. They sat as they did before, opposite each other over the coffee table. He took a sip from his mug and then replied.

“We never had to use it,” he laughed. “But we did use it.”

He took another sip, still smiling.

“We were told to test it at least once every six months, and to replace the food and anything else that might be perishable at that time.”

“In fact,” he added, “I just did that last week.”

“So,” he said, resuming his response, “if we didn’t have to use it, what did we use it for?”

“Emily was fond of making up scenarios for us to play out. I rather enjoyed doing that myself, and the first time we tested the panic room, she decided we’d play ‘the end of the world.’ We stayed there for three days, living out every pleasure as if it would be our last. After that one or the other of us would come up with a new scenario every time we were going to test the room.”

As he spoke, he pictured Tess in the master bed room, imagining her preparing for bed when the intruder alarm went off. He wondered if she’d like being stuck in the room with him, And then it was back - or at least partly back - to reality.

“I know you’ve had a hard time these past two years,” he said softly, “and probably had little or no time for pleasure. I’d like to know what pleasures you would have liked to have.”

He paused a moment.

“If it’s a difficult question, Tess,” he said leaning towards her, “I’m sorry. Please don’t feel you have to answer.”

 

[DarkWarrioress]

Tess followed him back into the living room and sat across from him. She took a sip from her own mug of coffee.

“I know you’ve had a hard time these past two years, and probably had little or no time for pleasure. I’d like to know what pleasures you would have liked to have.”

She took a moment or two to think before she answered him. Oddly, she had never thought about it. She had found the whole idea of sex and intimacy to be something she stayed away from. Brad had made it that awful for her. Now here was a man asking her about what pleasures she would have liked. It was a difficult thing to open up about. There was something about Arthur. She didn’t know what it was, but she felt like there was nothing they couldn’t discuss. However, how much of herself she could expose to him…. that she wasn’t sure of. She rested her mug on her thigh.

“It’s difficult, Arthur only because the truth is, I don’t know. Brad was my first and only and well, you have a slight idea of how that went. As you’ve said, I’ve had little to no time for pleasure or the desire to find out what pleases me. Sex and pleasure have been set on the back burner of my mind. If I were to think back to when we first started out, the pleasure was nothing special. I mean, nothing breath taking. To be honest, I’m not sure if I ever had an orgasm, not really. I made Brad happy and therefore, I was happy. Then everything took a dark turn."

She got introspective for a moment then asked him, "What is pleasure, Arthur?”