The Whole Jealousy Thing...
- Thread starter SexyChele
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James G 5
Holding Lit together
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A question for the jealous subs
For those of you who've said you're jealous and couldn't accept your Dom/Master having another sub...........how do you feel about him PLAYING with someone (ie at a public play party) with no sex involved? Does that still bug you?
What if he were to train/mentor someone, again with no sex involved?
For those of you who've said you're jealous and couldn't accept your Dom/Master having another sub...........how do you feel about him PLAYING with someone (ie at a public play party) with no sex involved? Does that still bug you?
What if he were to train/mentor someone, again with no sex involved?
bunny bondage
just cruisin' through
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Re: A question for the jealous subs
there is definatly a line in the sand, and once crossed, i become the most catty jealous sub there is. saucer of milk, service for one. if the guy i'm "with" checks out another girl, fine, i'll check her out with him. if he flirts with her, fine. and though i've never been in a public scene, i suspect i'd be ok with some LIGHT playing (i.e. a few swats to the bottom or a yank on a leash) but beyond that, i'd pitch a bitch. and the idea of my dom tutoring/training/mentoring someone is FAR worse than him sleeping with somebody else. i can handle just physical giggles, but for him to make an emotional and intellectual connection with someone else would really hurt me.
James G 5 said:
there is definatly a line in the sand, and once crossed, i become the most catty jealous sub there is. saucer of milk, service for one. if the guy i'm "with" checks out another girl, fine, i'll check her out with him. if he flirts with her, fine. and though i've never been in a public scene, i suspect i'd be ok with some LIGHT playing (i.e. a few swats to the bottom or a yank on a leash) but beyond that, i'd pitch a bitch. and the idea of my dom tutoring/training/mentoring someone is FAR worse than him sleeping with somebody else. i can handle just physical giggles, but for him to make an emotional and intellectual connection with someone else would really hurt me.
rainbow_falls
Virgin
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- Feb 17, 2003
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I feel like "whirled peas" right now. Staggering from the abrupt and unexpected break-up from my first Dom ... hell, didn't even know what D/s meant until a few months ago!
And excited to have found a place to learn about this new adventure.
Long story short is that he dumped me ... this thread caught my eye because I've been accused of jealousy but in my eyes that was never the issue. I knew he dated other women which was ok, but I was stupid and opened up, trusted him ... he didn't have the guts to tell me it was over with us. I had to hear from one of the other girls.
I've read this whole thread. Thanks for the insights and laughs. I'm so new here and new to this whole experience but I'm determined not to let one bad apple sour me to others.
Looking forward to more!
And excited to have found a place to learn about this new adventure.
Long story short is that he dumped me ... this thread caught my eye because I've been accused of jealousy but in my eyes that was never the issue. I knew he dated other women which was ok, but I was stupid and opened up, trusted him ... he didn't have the guts to tell me it was over with us. I had to hear from one of the other girls.
I've read this whole thread. Thanks for the insights and laughs. I'm so new here and new to this whole experience but I'm determined not to let one bad apple sour me to others.
Looking forward to more!
Desdemona
Ellie Mae's evil auntie
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- Dec 11, 2001
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MissTaken said:Des,
I am so happy for you.
It has been a pleasure and privilege to know you and watch your growth and search for happiness.
Many hugs and best wishes to everyone!
Thanks Miss T. I have learned alot about myself just watching your journey and search for happiness.
Kayte, I had no trouble with the ice. I'm home with my giant stack of paperwork. I hope your furnace is repaired now.
bunny bondage
just cruisin' through
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Re: Re: Re: A question for the jealous subs
because sex can occur between any two individuals who have matching parts. a deeper level of connection is much harder to cultivate, to maintain, and it's rare to find somebody (for me) with whom i can feel the sort of trust and companionship it takes to have a real relationship. i feel this way about all people, not just sexual encounters (hence the fact that a mentor type relationship would bug me) i have a tiny number of friends, and we're a tight-knit little group. but the idea of somebody to whom i am exclusively devoted opening himself up in the same manner to another person is just too much to take. am i making sense?
James G 5 said:
because sex can occur between any two individuals who have matching parts. a deeper level of connection is much harder to cultivate, to maintain, and it's rare to find somebody (for me) with whom i can feel the sort of trust and companionship it takes to have a real relationship. i feel this way about all people, not just sexual encounters (hence the fact that a mentor type relationship would bug me) i have a tiny number of friends, and we're a tight-knit little group. but the idea of somebody to whom i am exclusively devoted opening himself up in the same manner to another person is just too much to take. am i making sense?
bunny bondage
just cruisin' through
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i guess i just don't share well.
meria_serves
Experienced
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- Feb 10, 2003
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Re: A question for the jealous subs
i admit i struggle with jealousy feelings, because i would like to be able to be everything and do everything to/for my Master. However, that's just not realistic. W/we have talked about it a few times - in fact He's going to be in circumstances that bring Him in contact with Another's sub soon.
Am i crazy about the idea? No, not at all. But i do try to temper those feelings with the thought of what is best for Him: W/we are separated by so much distance that play is difficult to manage. He has needs, as do i; He sees that mine are met and in turn, i try to be understanding with what He chooses to do.
If He were to consider taking another sub on a permanent basis, though, i would have a much more difficult time - i asked for release once just on that basis; she ended up refusing His collar and so it wasn't an issue any longer. Casually, i can handle the idea of Him playing with another, but i want all His love to myself.
With regards to Him training another, that would bother me only because W/we have so little time together as it is; it would upset me that He would choose to give up some of O/our time for another sub.
James G 5 said:
i admit i struggle with jealousy feelings, because i would like to be able to be everything and do everything to/for my Master. However, that's just not realistic. W/we have talked about it a few times - in fact He's going to be in circumstances that bring Him in contact with Another's sub soon.
Am i crazy about the idea? No, not at all. But i do try to temper those feelings with the thought of what is best for Him: W/we are separated by so much distance that play is difficult to manage. He has needs, as do i; He sees that mine are met and in turn, i try to be understanding with what He chooses to do.
If He were to consider taking another sub on a permanent basis, though, i would have a much more difficult time - i asked for release once just on that basis; she ended up refusing His collar and so it wasn't an issue any longer. Casually, i can handle the idea of Him playing with another, but i want all His love to myself.
With regards to Him training another, that would bother me only because W/we have so little time together as it is; it would upset me that He would choose to give up some of O/our time for another sub.
WynEternal
Beyond Insanity
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- Jan 14, 2003
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Although I'm in a mon relationship, I would have to agree with James. In my pre marraige experience, I knew I could not be everything that would fulfil the needs of my Mistress. I knew she was poly, and who am I to get jealous when we were upfront in our communicationabout it?
There were things that I could not do, but I did what I could to the best of my abilites. Each person in our "household" had something different to offer.
Before I was 24/7, our time together was weekends and those moments, I cherished. To me, it's not so as how much time you have together, but what you do in those moments.
There were things that I could not do, but I did what I could to the best of my abilites. Each person in our "household" had something different to offer.
Before I was 24/7, our time together was weekends and those moments, I cherished. To me, it's not so as how much time you have together, but what you do in those moments.
