Things done to death in stories

[Pyro Paul]

Just wanted to add another cliche. Reading through another thread where someone was commenting on a father/daughter rape story and was surprised that Lit allowed it. Don't condone incest, certainly don't condone rape. But occasionally I do read incest stories. Here's another cliche that's gotten old. Ever notice how in the parent/offspring stories, no matter how old the offspring is, they call their parents "mommy" and "daddy"? Do people who read these stories only get off by those words? If the word mom or dad is used, do they suddenly lose the mood?

its to try and portray the innocence of the person, most incestual stories are about a person of pure innocence brought into a world of perversion by some one they are related to. mother daughter son father. will always tend to say mommy daddy big brother, lil sis. because they all sound as if some one innocent is saying it. also giving it true personality between the 2.

which one sounds more innocent? more personal?
Oh mommy! lick me!
Oh Jannet! lick me!

 

[Goldeniangel]

i dunno... i have some trouble writing the incest stories so i think mine tend to be the reminders more than anything else. lol.
i always thought that "oh daddy" sounded hot, but that's not because of incest, wihch is a category that i dont have much interest in, but becuase of the street connotations. i grew up in a neighborhood where girls actually did call their boyfriends "daddy" and stuff... i dunno. lol.maybe i'm just weird.

anyway, i was just writing a story and realized that it's so the stereotypical interractial black man on white woman story. the thing is, i still like it and i'm submitting it anyway! lol. but sometimes i do get tired of reading what seems like the same story, and i know that this particular one that i just submitted isn't all that original... but oh well. i do have to say that i'd like to see a little bit more of a mix in the interracial category, it seems like most of the stories are black man white woman. what about spanish/asian/middle eastern, etc? right now i'm working on a European/Arab interracial story, just to be different. i dunno, it just seems like the black and white thing is a little overused; i mean, yeah i find the big skin tone contrast hot (i LOVE dark men) but isn't there anything else as well???

 

[susurrus]

I don't know. having a teenage girl still calling her father "Daddy," especially in a situation where she knows the impact that name will have, I find unobjectionable. As well, I can more envision a young woman still using "Daddy" more readily than I can take *anybody* over the age of 7 using the word "Mommy." Hell, I still call my dad "Daddy" and it's because that's the term my mom used for him when I was growing up, and it stuck.

Sometimes, predictability is okay, as long as it's approached well. Heck, I'd rather read a predictable story, written well and with engaging characters, than one with a really interesting premise, that is sloppily done with people I couldn't give a crap about.

As far as the interracial thing: I think the part of that that's *truly* over, over done, is the hulking black guy, with a cock that's roughly the size of a small horse. Or for that matter, *any* black guy who has a penis that is, as has been stated before on this thread: "11 inches long, and as big around as a beer can."

I guess the main reason black guys are the primary recipients of so many IR stories is *because* of that stereotype. Especially if a person is writing a cuckold story.

Yet another overdone thing, regarding black folk: Ever notice how they all fall into the "lower income" category? Not once do I recall reading a story with a black man in it, that he didn't come from a "ghetto" setting. I don't think I've ever read a story where, "Gerald was a striking African-American man, sitting at his desk at the bank, in a three piece suit and very expensive shoes. I couldn't wait to see if I could lure him home with me and see if he'd give me a deposit in my safe deposit box."

 

[SlickTony]

That's all very true. That's why I avoid reading most of 'em. Although I seem to recall reading a nice romantic one where most of the characters seemed to be yuppies.

 

[shiresa]

Precum, gallons of it.

 

[Johndo2046]

boring, boring....

I agree with a lot of stuff you guys say above and more... Things that make me lose interest in a story right away is when a writer takes very little time to describe people's physical appearance.. it's as if he or she just wanna throw it in there to get it over with .. so the reader could get this cliches images the characters' "hot" physique or something like that and move on to the action.

I mean if you're gonna describe how a hot woman looks, don't just toss it out like mentioning a bunch of numbers like she's 48, 36. 58.. blah..blah... in. Work it in.. make it a reason for you to mention it so that it's not so obvious that you as a writer is trying to get it out and over with..

For example, maybe she's concerned that she's fat... and brought up in conversation that her bra size has change or something like that so we get the picture of what she look like but without feeling like ok... here comes the description. she's 68. 59.86.... geez... please.... make it less obvious you're trying to make her look playboy hot. Well, that's my 2 cents for now.

 

[susurrus]

John,

I'm with you on the description thing. I get so tired of the narrator "stepping out of the story" and giving the reader a whole list of statistics. When I give new writers help, one of the first things I tell them is to let the story give the characters' descriptions. Meaning, give out physical characteristics as the action calls for such details. I mean, unless it's perfectly pertinent to the story, who really gives a shit if he has a 12 or three inch cock, or if she has DD tits, or has a body like a pre-teen boy? If the story is truly engaging, it shouldn't matter what the characters look like.

Let's face it, for the most part, when an author stops everything to throw out a bunch of numbers, does anybody really remember all that crap when you get three quarters down the page?

As well, when I give new writers help, I ask them if they do much reading, and I *don't* mean off the web. I'm talking professional writers writing honest-to-goodness books. I try to get them to start reading legit stuff, and pay attention to how the pros do it.

 

[P_E_C]

well....

Actually, I have known some women who soak thru their panties fairly quickly, and end up with it running down their legs. Rare but true. And squirters.

As for the mythical 12 inch penis...I have to agree. Thats wishful thinking. or one upmanship. Not that the extremely large don't exsist, but they are the exception rather than the rule (the average American male, according to the famous Cosmo survey, has around five and a half inches; Jane magazine did their own survey in England and it worked out to five inches).

As to breast size, we all know there are some ponderous ones out there.

But remember, much of this is fantasy and fiction. In fiction, all things are possible. I have to agree it gets old very fast.


Just as some authors tend to overdo a theme, be it anal, BDSM, taboo, we all have our own styles.

 

[Bitch2003]

Feedback?

Hi everyone, I have written a story here and its now been accepted. I took into consideration alot of what I have read on this post and was wondering if anyone could give me feedback on the story??

http://english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=208275

I have to add that it is a true story...no embleishments in it....its 100% real (with the exception of our names.)

Any feedback is appreciated....I am new to submitting my stories for others to read....especially since this one is true.

I really do appreciate everything I have read on this post...hopefully, I will be a better writer because of it.

Thanks!!

 

[susurrus]

Bitch2003,

I just sent you an email with my impression of your story. Overall I liked it. You did a fine job of avoiding a lot of the stuff we've all been talking about here. Where you *do* include some of the "cliches" that we've discussed, you admit that you're one of those exceptional people. There will be skeptics as far as that, but cliches and stereotypes exist because people like them exist.

I, for one, would be interested in seeing more stories from you.

 

[Goldeniangel]

Yet another overdone thing, regarding black folk: Ever notice how they all fall into the "lower income" category? Not once do I recall reading a story with a black man in it, that he didn't come from a "ghetto" setting. I don't think I've ever read a story where, "Gerald was a striking African-American man, sitting at his desk at the bank, in a three piece suit and very expensive shoes. I couldn't wait to see if I could lure him home with me and see if he'd give me a deposit in my safe deposit box."

dude, i'm so doing a story liket his now... i LOVE that idea. how wrong is it that i never even really thought of it? i mean, i have some African-Americans who aren't poor or ghetto, but i never relaly thought to emphasize the wealth =P well, except for with one story... but yeah. oh i'm so doing this. thanks for the awesome idea!
*HUGS*
angel

 

[susurrus]

Goldeniangel...

Glad to help... I look forward to seeing what you come up with.

 

[codygirl]

Incest stories really boring and overdone, not to mention so so disgusting (any women out there disagree with me) ....and am too getting sick of the size thing. Say some nice fat breasts, or peering at me from her shirt; a massive thick cock or his bulbous head or his engorged veinous member etc etc etc.
(my similies suck right now, but you get the idea..)

 

[SlickTony]

Incest stories really boring and overdone, not to mention so so disgusting (any women out there disagree with me) ....and am too getting sick of the size thing. Say some nice fat breasts, or peering at me from her shirt; a massive thick cock or his bulbous head or his engorged veinous member etc etc etc.
(my similies suck right now, but you get the idea..)

They may be overdone, judging by how big the category is, but I don't think they have to be boring. I wrote three, and I didn't mention anybody's dimensions at all. A great deal of discussion has ensued about the attraction of incest stories, and I think the consensus was that while the thought of getting it on with any actual members of our family is tres weird, the stories have this element of being able to find it in your own back yard, so to speak, without having to hunt for it; of having sex with someone you know and already feel affection for without having to meet someone and go through the process of forming a pre-sex relationship.

 

[CynthiasDesire]

Contrary

Most of the basic criticism levelled at these cliches is valid, if applied to normal literature. I'm taking a look at a few gallery sites and seeing how they 'advertise' sets of pictures. It is always about "huge cocks", "massive tits", "hot young teens", and the like. This is the difference a very real difference between erotica and porn.

Literotica does have a large number of stories that are clearly erotic and a vast number that are clearly porn. When you are in the mood to fantasize about a massive inhumanly sized cock, you seek out those stories. And just like in the pictures available, there is a demand for very average normal people having very average normal sex. And yet there are whole websites devoted to orgies, mature women, and even mature women with younger women.

All I'm saying is the cliches are there for a reason, they work, people like them. If you are trying to write real literature, it is very wise to avoid them, but if you are just writing a good stroke story, I don't see a problem with using them.

 

[professor98]

I agree with you on everything except one point. I have gone out with girls/women who have heavy discharges. Also one girl (18) who went off like a firecracker when she orgasmed. They are all different, and wonderful. If you would like to see a story without all of your complaints, try "Seven-Mile High Club" in taboo/incest.

 

[cloacas]

Jaded versus New

When you first read erotic stories, the conventions of huge cocks, gigungous breasts, etc. are exciting. Most people grow past that stage and want more realistic description in their reading.

The same generally applies, so I observe, in writers, except that writers tend to exhibit the same interests over and over, with some becoming fetishes.

The strange conventions I don't like are:

1. Penis passing the cervix. This is not childbirth. Ain't gonna happen and it would hurt like hell and probably require emergency surgery. How this is erotic escapes me. A classic male "gotta have the hugest cock" issue.
2. Drugging in relationships. The husband is drugged. The wife is drugged. Everyone in the end thinks it's all so sexy and cute. It really bothers me when the drugs don't even exist - like a comment I posted about the casual use of "dust" for dream-like sex, which usually refers to PCP, a very dangerous drug that if administered over extended periods would almost guarantee hospitalization for psychosis.
3. The wives all look like they've never had their 3 children. Come on. People don't have to look like Cindy Crawford to have sex. In fact, if you've ever seen television you know that really disgusting people have multiple partners and wholesale cheating problems, not just the blonde 38 year old who looks like she's 26. It's a failure of imagination.

 

[JamesSD]

1. Penis passing the cervix. This is not childbirth. Ain't gonna happen and it would hurt like hell and probably require emergency surgery. How this is erotic escapes me. A classic male "gotta have the hugest cock" issue.
2. Drugging in relationships. The husband is drugged. The wife is drugged. Everyone in the end thinks it's all so sexy and cute. It really bothers me when the drugs don't even exist - like a comment I posted about the casual use of "dust" for dream-like sex, which usually refers to PCP, a very dangerous drug that if administered over extended periods would almost guarantee hospitalization for psychosis.
3. The wives all look like they've never had their 3 children. Come on. People don't have to look like Cindy Crawford to have sex. In fact, if you've ever seen television you know that really disgusting people have multiple partners and wholesale cheating problems, not just the blonde 38 year old who looks like she's 26. It's a failure of imagination.

Ok so I agree on the first and second points. I've "bottomed out" before and most women aren't so into it. And there's NO WAY going in the actual womb would feel good. Luckily I don't think that's a very common occurence in stories.

The third point, however, does vary with personal opinion. One of the advantages of literature is it is highly idealized. The author can stress positive physical qualities and ignore negative ones. When my characters are based on real people they're usually somewhat idealized versions. If a character is a 38 year old mother of three, I don't think the author should focus on her stretch marks and the sag in her breasts. There's a happy medium to be achieved perhaps.

Of course, ridiculous perfection is overdone. It can occasionally serve plot, but minor flaws often make a character more memorable.

 

[Tasha_Tuk]

Imperfections

Yep, another tired cliche. No stretch marks, no scars, no wild growths of hair in places where the woman doesn't want hair. The woman is almost always in perfect shape (washboard abs and perfectly flat abdomens show up way too much), and her breasts are almost always described as perky.

I totally understand what you are saying...but....for me, I am reading and writing with fantasies in mind. I have all of the above mentioned imperfections. I don't like them, so when I have fantasies, I eliminate them from them.

 

[MirazTheMac]

Many, many times in a story I come across words to the effect of:

"He/she/I couldn't believe it was happening!"

So, so annoying.

 

[LaJovena]

What a lot of new writers don't seem to understand is that it is okay to allow the reader to use his/her imagination when writing, even in erotica.

Frankly, for me, huge tits are a turn-off. I'd rather leave the reader to imagine the size. I prefer to bring other senses into play, such as how delicate a soft nipple feels, and how it becomes erect as it is stimulated.

And even mentioning an exact measurement of a penis is distracting. I've been married for 12 years and still couldn't tell you how long my husband's erect penis is. All I know is it fits well inside me, and feels really good when.....

I'm digressing....

I actually like to write about characters who have obvious "flaws", such as scars or whatever. It makes them more human. And being comfortable with your own humanity is verrry sexy!

 

[Wilson Spalding]

Ever come across things in adult stories that you just wish would stop appearing? Here's things that immediately make me hit the "Back" button on my browser because they've been done to death:

Nope. Never in the last four minutes have I been whacked in the face with a cliché. Five minutes ago, though...

1. Anatomy sizes. Ever seem like no man in a story has a dick less than 8 inches and no thinner than a beer can? Ever seem like no woman in a story has less than DD breasts?

Huge dick? Check. Enormous bazoombas? Check. It's a hackneyed, yes, but it won't make me click "back" on its own. But... I'll admit beer can-girth annoys me. Me and my "Redbull" can girth feel quite inadequate.

Actually adding actual numbers irritates me. Never in my life have I caught a glimpse of a dick and thought, "Without resorting to my Stanley laser measure, I'd guess that man is 11.41 inches with a turgid shaft circumference of at least 6.02 inches. Good Lord, I'd better keep him away from my wife, he'd surely hypnotize her with that 84.12 cubic-inch cock..." Jeezuz, suddenly everybody in the story has a white labcoat and clipboard.

"...This porn was brought to you by the Masters & Johnson Laboratories..."

As for instant cup size measures...? I'm not half bad at guessing but I usually don't attach bra size. Usually the measurement is in the very scientific "Oooh, pert!" or "Mmmm, big!"

2. Ever notice how most stories where the woman is the main character start by her admiring herself naked in front of a mirror (giving the author an opportunity to describe her usually DD-sized breasts) and then starts to masturbate?

I have noticed that. I've also noticed that the associated story telling technique usually sucks, so I like to think of it as a warning to drop my expectations.

On a character note, I've known a few drop-dead gorgeous women – and they do analyze. More often than not, they don't break into spontaneous clit-friggage – rather they curse they shouldn't a' had that cheesecake, they've got to drink more water, it's an extra 15 minutes on the bike and dammit! Get that Retin-A from the dermatologist!

What I find more annoying than "perfection" is how often it's portrayed without any nod to the all-consuming effort it takes to make it happen. For 18 year olds? Sure. They still have the metabolism. At 19, different story (I remember witnessing the "Freshman 15" phenomena in college). Even at 25, they've got to be aware... The older it gets, the more it sucks. And all-too-often, the better they look, the more of a high-maintenance pain in the ass they are!

Sorry. *stepping off the soap box*

3. Ever notice how most women in stories have faucet-like pussies that gush so much upon arousal that they almost get the floor wet? I don't know of too many women who get wet enough to completely soak their panties and get the whole insides of their thighs wet with lubrication. Actually, I don't know of any woman with this ability.

I've heard of them. Never met one. Can't say that I find it all that... attractive. Sorry, personal taste sorta thing – though I'm quite sure they're all goddesses in their own right.

4. Ever notice how most men in stories ejaculate so much they could fill a milk jug? Most men can only manage between a teaspoon and a tablespoon of semen. But to read stories, you would think men could put out fires just by jerking off at them.

What? You can't?

Okay, me neither. This too is a sign the writer has watched too much porn without making any of his own. Biologically, the guy would have to have it all stored and that would be... uncomfortable.

1. Penis passing the cervix. This is not childbirth. Ain't gonna happen and it would hurt like hell and probably require emergency surgery. How this is erotic escapes me. A classic male "gotta have the hugest cock" issue.

Passing the cervix? Good God! Bumping the cervix happens but passing it? Was it a torture story or something?

2. Drugging in relationships. The husband is drugged. The wife is drugged. Everyone in the end thinks it's all so sexy and cute. It really bothers me when the drugs don't even exist - like a comment I posted about the casual use of "dust" for dream-like sex, which usually refers to PCP, a very dangerous drug that if administered over extended periods would almost guarantee hospitalization for psychosis.

I've seen the drugs act as more of a narrative tool but there have been a few that played off of them directly. Even the not-so-exotic stuff, like a few bong hits and a case of BearWhiz Beer. Sure, light use can be a social lubricant, when people just need a nudge to get over their inhibitions... but getting hammered does two things:
1.) Reduce ability to perform.
2.) Increase probability of doing something massively stupid (and incredibly unsexy).

3. The wives all look like they've never had their 3 children. Come on. People don't have to look like Cindy Crawford to have sex. In fact, if you've ever seen television you know that really disgusting people have multiple partners and wholesale cheating problems, not just the blonde 38 year old who looks like she's 26. It's a failure of imagination.

You're right. But I gotta admit, it's more fun to see Cindy Crawford tip toe through my tulips than the hairy, babushka-wearing women down the street.

My Personal Pet Peeve:

OOOOooooooohhhhh Gooooooooooddddd, iiiiiiiiit feeeeeeeeeeeeels sssssoooooo gooooooooooooooood! Doooooooo iiiiiiiiiiiiit agaiiiiiiiiiiiin!!!!!!!

That's right: the abuse of vowels in highly emotional dialogue. It's an under-reported crime, but no less disturbing.

There is a better way.

 

[Pyro Paul]

lol

i would rather hear 'Ohhumm. its so- good' moaning as her words lightly slur from the pure pleasure.

that 'oohhhuuuuummm... it'ss Soooooo-ooo Goooodddd.'

but it does put the point of discribing it As your saying it, if you red oh my god, and afterwords you read how it was said, your mind has to stop and go back to repeate Oh my god, in that way or else it will seem incomplete. where as if you have, Ooohhh My GOD!!!! it would be easyer to read and understanding not having to 1 discribe it and 2 go back and reread it.

also, the comment about masterbating in a mirror. From what ive been told (by girls) masterbating in a Mirror tends to be a Turn off for them, it makes them feel ugly about themselves or it leaves little to imagination. most girls close their eyes and pretend, thats that cute boy that talked to me... its his hand rubbing me not my own. they dont look down, Hand, meet pussy and rub.

 

[Wilson Spalding]

i would rather hear 'Ohhumm. its so- good' moaning as her words lightly slur from the pure pleasure.

that 'oohhhuuuuummm... it'ss Soooooo-ooo Goooodddd.'

but it does put the point of discribing it As your saying it, if you red oh my god, and afterwords you read how it was said, your mind has to stop and go back to repeate Oh my god, in that way or else it will seem incomplete. where as if you have, Ooohhh My GOD!!!! it would be easyer to read and understanding not having to 1 discribe it and 2 go back and reread it.

I can see that. I agree – and to some tiny extent, I even spell phonetically when it fits – but it goes to two, maybe three vowels max unless I'm describing an emergency warning siren.

YES: "Oooh..."
NO: "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHH!!!!!"

Just my personal preference, of course, but a couple extra letters gets across a linguistic idea while falling asleep on the keyboard makes me feel like I've just witnessed a vowel movement.

...the comment about masterbating in a mirror. From what ive been told (by girls) masterbating in a Mirror tends to be a Turn off for them, it makes them feel ugly about themselves or it leaves little to imagination. most girls close their eyes and pretend, thats that cute boy that talked to me... its his hand rubbing me not my own. they dont look down, Hand, meet pussy and rub.

Great point. Masturbation is as much about fantasy as it is sensation.

So when you see a woman masturbating in the mirror – to her own image – what you may be witnessing is the author masturbating with somebody else's hand. The psychology could go a dozen different directions, but the imagery...? Potentially, a not-so-pretty sight.

OR... you're seeing a character that's potentially pathologically narcissistic. They're like fireworks, if you think about it: usually nice to look at – but not that much fun when you get close.

 

[zombie22]

Interacial stories and Parental incest

The stereotypes perpetuated in these stories are insulting and just unreadable in my opinion. I also have some sort of mental block about mother and son incest stories. I try and limit the specific physical description of my characters in order to allow the reader to fill in the blanks. My last story recieved a complaint because of that very thing. It breaks the momentum of the story to type out measurements. I will admit i am guilty of some of the things mentioned in this thread.


zombie22