L
LadynStFreknBed
Guest
Just got back from the store to get more Nyquil. Technically, I don't think I am even supposed to be taking Nyquil due to my other meds and it's alcohol content, but oh well, I would be in much worse shape if I couldn't get any sleep. I'd rather take Nyquil and avoid another hospitalization than not take Nyquil and have to get locked up again.
So, I had a really rough week with the PTSD. My therapist keeps suggesting that I get a treatment for PTSD that involves hypnotism. I keep telling her that there is no way I would be hypnotized by a pdoc I don't know-- much less a male pdoc. The only person in my area that does this treatment is a man. There's no way I could relax enough to be hypnotized or not just freak out. People don't realize how difficult it is for me to be with men who I don't know or in close quarters with a male professional. I have been putting off getting my eyes checked. I have been putting off going to the dentist. These things majorly stress me out.
So, at the store, I inform my aunt that I have had a very rough week and need her to stick close to me. Within about 2 minutes, she disappears. I was so pissed and stressed. But, I made it through without a panic attack. Thank god! Last time she did that to me, I did have a panic attack.
The cashier was telling us how pale I looked, that she felt horrible for me.. being I was coughing and obviously sick. About the paleness, my aunt is like, "Oh, she always looks that way." LOL Yes, I don't think you can tell if I am sick or not by how pale I look. I'm whiter than white.
If I wouldn't have been sick, I'd have a decision to make. My friend, who I call Swizz cuz he looks like Swizz Beatz, suggested that we get together for the primary purpose of having sex. We've hung out before, but only plutonically. Honestly, he's a little light-skinned for me. He is black, but like I said, he looks like Swizz Beatz (who is hispanic). We're not especially close friends, though we chat or talk on the phone a few times a week. Sweet guy, really. A karate black belt who is into teaching women to defend themselves, so he is really sympathetic to my issues. But, I don't know, I guess I would feel kinda strange having sex with a guy who is my friend. Do you ever get in that "friend" mentality where you just don't quite look at them as a romantic interest?
Oh, I'm not even sure if I told you guys that I called off my engagement. I guess some of you may have been totally confused by my sex dilemma. LOL Long story short, he and I had some serious communication problems that I could not see myself living with on a longterm basis.
So, I had a really rough week with the PTSD. My therapist keeps suggesting that I get a treatment for PTSD that involves hypnotism. I keep telling her that there is no way I would be hypnotized by a pdoc I don't know-- much less a male pdoc. The only person in my area that does this treatment is a man. There's no way I could relax enough to be hypnotized or not just freak out. People don't realize how difficult it is for me to be with men who I don't know or in close quarters with a male professional. I have been putting off getting my eyes checked. I have been putting off going to the dentist. These things majorly stress me out.
So, at the store, I inform my aunt that I have had a very rough week and need her to stick close to me. Within about 2 minutes, she disappears. I was so pissed and stressed. But, I made it through without a panic attack. Thank god! Last time she did that to me, I did have a panic attack.
The cashier was telling us how pale I looked, that she felt horrible for me.. being I was coughing and obviously sick. About the paleness, my aunt is like, "Oh, she always looks that way." LOL Yes, I don't think you can tell if I am sick or not by how pale I look. I'm whiter than white.
If I wouldn't have been sick, I'd have a decision to make. My friend, who I call Swizz cuz he looks like Swizz Beatz, suggested that we get together for the primary purpose of having sex. We've hung out before, but only plutonically. Honestly, he's a little light-skinned for me. He is black, but like I said, he looks like Swizz Beatz (who is hispanic). We're not especially close friends, though we chat or talk on the phone a few times a week. Sweet guy, really. A karate black belt who is into teaching women to defend themselves, so he is really sympathetic to my issues. But, I don't know, I guess I would feel kinda strange having sex with a guy who is my friend. Do you ever get in that "friend" mentality where you just don't quite look at them as a romantic interest?
Oh, I'm not even sure if I told you guys that I called off my engagement. I guess some of you may have been totally confused by my sex dilemma. LOL Long story short, he and I had some serious communication problems that I could not see myself living with on a longterm basis.
