Toys: Improve or Impede?

[lark sparrow]

Sometimes they improve, other times they are unnecessary. I've never had them impede though. I particularly like implements of pain(/pleasure, particularly leather!), though hands are wonderful as well. And bondage is very freeing, as opposed to self-control in holding position - though both can be great. I can take or leave vibrators - they've never been a standby - which makes many of my female friends gasp in horror... but then I don't really care for chocolate much either.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I can take or leave vibrators - they've never been a standby - which makes many of my female friends gasp in horror... but then I don't really care for chocolate much either.

LOL, I can also go with the lack of impressiveness of vibrators...have tried to find the 'magic' a few times but is just not something I dream about or care if I never see one again for a million years (I guess that may change if arthritics get worse)...but chocolate?!! shock, horror, no chocolate ever again would give me a nervous breakdown.

Catalina

 

[lark sparrow]

LOL people actually love it, as whenever I am given chocolate as a gift, I always give it away to those who will love it. It works out pretty well - the gift that keeps giving!

I did have have one bullet vibe that I liked - rather than only having 2-3 speeds to vary things, it had about 6-7 completely different pulse settings as well... unfortunately it was a bit expensive considering it suffered from consistent cord problems, not being one piece. I went through two and then gave up!

 

[TigerClaw]

Tough question. I believe in toys, props, clothing etc. But that is not what makes the relationship.

If used sparingly they can be an improvement.

 

[jhangel]

We use toys sometimes (whips, crops, etc.), but more often than not rely on his hands, teeth, body parts, and great sadistic imagination.

Catalina

We do the same as Catalina.
But sounds are what we rely on; weither it is a moan or actually saying something.

 

[Saint_Sinner]

The difference "for me" between a night of making love, sex, fucking or what ever you want to call it, and being in scene is great for me as I assume it is for others. In scene, toys like an insertable vibrator or bullets or the hodgepodge mass of "marital aids" that are peddled at an obscenely high price do not have my interest. I prefer my hands, teeth, fingernails and voice. I would love to build a fucking machine, but it's use would be limited. Well crafted leather tools are definately worth the expense.

My question is for the Dom/Dommes out there. And it goes back to my first sentence. My mindset changes in scene, the hunter comes out. I change. The connection between us is not lost, it even deepens, but I distance myself from "at that point" the object of my affection. The question is, how much of a "toy" does your sub become to you at that point? The topic is "sex toys, improve or impede?"......and I ask how as D's could we possibly function without our toys?

At all times, not just in scene, I care very much for the welfare and needs of my sub, but I change, let that part of myself out that can't be out all the time, and I play with my toy. And she wouldn't have it any other way.

I know that this will probably be misconstrued by some, but sometimes you have to throw meat to the lions.

 

[TigerClaw]

Aaaahhh.

Part of sex is selfish. Yes, you give, you recieve, with the right person eperiencing all the various forms of sex is the best expression of Love. But part of it is selfishness. Your getting and want as much pleasure as possible. It is the gift of giving to your partner and allowing them to have that moment is wonderful. You'll notice it is very difficult to give to each other at the very same moment and get as high a feeling.

Ive found being able to show your Love, Caring, Desire, and Lust and Want to a partner is a wonderful expression of Love. It shows you trust and feel comfortable enough to let loose. They show you that they Love you enough to give you that experience and share that with you. Having a woman who is not afraid or intimidated, or hurt that you dont care about them at those times is the ultimate. A woman who wants soft loving from me all the time is not going to keep my interest. She will have my love always if she shows me love in return.

Love is more then sex. But so much is expressed during sex.

Same goes in reverse. I want my woman to feel able to express her Love, Caring, Desire, Lust, Heat as well as allow me to do so.

So, at times yes she is as you put it a "Toy" at the moment. But she is "My Toy" as I am only for her, she is giving me that gift as I give it to her also. She is also my mate, my lover, my partner.

 

[Limbhugger]

As much as I love our toys of various description, it is her hands and mind that does the bulk of the work on my body. I have a love/hate relationship with her nails. She can use them in such a wicked yet gentle manner. Choosing to leave heavy trails for days on my thighs or to simply dig at my ribs. Her nails are her favorite toy.

Although I am treated to the occassional clamps, plugs, beads, whips, floggers, etc.

But never are toys an impediment as she wouldn't allow them to be. They either suit her desires and are used or they are left in the drawer. What I want is immaterial.

 

[Birch Twig]

We tried hand spanking the other day, when I was sub, but none of us liked it. She hurt her palm, and the pain on my butt was "the wrong kind". Whips, floggers or birch bundles feels better for us. And ropes for bondage. The slave should not be able to escape or (God forbid) take over the power. Fixed objects are preferred for fixation, so the slave can't move during whipping. Lingiere one her is also nice. More when she is domme, and just some black stockings when she is sub.