Twenty Somethings

[HybridCrow]

i am only 39.4% pure

I like your Avatar pic. It looks really cool. Hmm... that pure huh? You must be really naughty.

 

[BXGemini20]

If I got 75% I'd be good.

 

[HybridCrow]

If I got 75% I'd be good.

But you didn't get 75, you got 88.2. So, you got a high B, low A. You passed the purity test.

However, in all honesty, we're really not pure at all. Well, I'll quote what someone told me, "You sinned the day you were born." So what the heck does that mean? I should've strangled myself with the umbilical cord and saved myself the start of many sins?

Bah, religion is just fanatical. I believe there is a God, but at the same time I don't believe in religion. So I guess I should stop putting Christian on my bios then.

Personally, without sin, you ain't lived.

 

[BXGemini20]

I was just joking around. Test like those are good to joke around with.

 

[Munachi]

That's just it, I used to make moves all the time. Well, not like all the time, but the times when it LOOKS like I should make a move, and everything turned out not so good. Like they would say they don't want a b/f or they like me better as a friend, etc... Not to mention the few times that they're "kinda" seeing someone.

WTH is a word "kinda"? You're either seeing somebody or you're not. Plain and simple. No offense, but I'm starting to think "kinda" really means "I'm sleeping around." or some crap like that.

And I'm sorry Muna, but it's just not right. I haven't done anything wrong to anybody, that I can think of, in my life. I'm a great person who can be fun, and not to mention there are things I would rather do with women that MOST men would not do... i.e. cuddle, watch a movie together at home, make a romantic dinner instead of being an asshole and spend the money to have a dinner made.

And yes, it's true that it's NOT a one way street, but really... it's becoming INCREASINGLY hard and difficult for me to like women anymore. To even trust them of course.

um... actually, i am right now KINDA seeing someone. (and he is asleep on my sofa at this moment. poor boy, I think I did wear him out a bit this weekend, hehe). That is, we aren't really an item yet, we haven't had any talk or anything to confirm we are exclusive, and I have no idea where things are going - are we just fuck buddies, is this a short termed fling, is there potential for more (of course you never know, but I mean, I have no idea of what his itention right now is, nor really of what mine is), but I like him and thus don't want to put this in danger. So, I am KINDA seeing him, which takes me "off the market" right now... But maybe I get all those dating terms wrong, anyway.

The other thing is, that I mentioned before my suspicion of guys who class themselves as "nice" or "good" or whatever. I am really sorry that things with the girls aren't going good for you so far - but you are young (listen to me, I am a lot older, hehe) and there are lots of people who have it difficult and then at some point these problems dissappear, usually when they are at ease with themselves. Hey, believe me or not, I had these problems for a long time, and while I had some boyfriends in my teenage years (usually either assholes who were mean to me, or guys I didn't really feel attracted to but went out with because I thought no one else would want me) I had huge self confidence problems, thought I would never really have a chance with the guys I really wanted to be with, etc. etc. and well, things did get better. And I think a big part of it is, that I am more confident, more happy with myself and my life, and that I learned a lot of social interaction and flirting (which it mainly takes time and practice to learn - again something I recommend traveling for - you meet more new people, are "exotic" and if you do it all wrong, you are never going to see these people again anyway).

another thing, how can you be so sure, what most men don't do or don't want to do? and what most women want? lots of times i do prefer a good fuck over a movie and romantic dinner.

and "not anymore trusting women" due to your experience? that is as much nonsense as those women who class all men as assholes because their bf or husband cheated on them. believe it or not, but we are all individuals, each of us different.

btw, what are you hobbies? are you doing anything that is fun and helping you develop a selfconfidence and a happyness with your life - and at the same time maybe making you more interesting, and helping you meet interesting girls? the older i get the more it matters to me what guys i go out with do, what they are passionate about, etc. - like, i used to go out with a guy who was into mountaineering. not my thing at all until then, but his passion for it got me interested as well - not that i only started liking him because of that, but it was a factor. other guys i have known were for example really into what they studied (like, languages, philosophy, whatever), or similar. and it gave us a lot to talk about...

 

[Munachi]

i like the quote i heard in some movie that was something like God created sin so He can be forgiving...

 

[HybridCrow]

I was just joking around. Test like those are good to joke around with.

Don't take what I said the wrong way. I was just messing with you, man. I guess I'm hard to understand sometimes, especially when I rant and rave.

I apologize if I came off the wrong way that time.

 

[BXGemini20]

Don't take what I said the wrong way. I was just messing with you, man. I guess I'm hard to understand sometimes, especially when I rant and rave.

I apologize if I came off the wrong way that time.

Thats okay. Wise man once said it is hard to detect emotion on the internet. it's all good.

 

[HybridCrow]

another thing, how can you be so sure, what most men don't do or don't want to do? and what most women want? lots of times i do prefer a good fuck over a movie and romantic dinner.

and "not anymore trusting women" due to your experience? that is as much nonsense as those women who class all men as assholes because their bf or husband cheated on them. believe it or not, but we are all individuals, each of us different.

btw, what are you hobbies?

I wasn't saying for sure, I was going by the general census through movies, what I've been told, etc.

True, everyone's different, but in the end... watching and listening as well as knowing that "actions speak louder than words" will tell you who the person is in the end. I'm not saying ALL women are backstabbing, cheating, lying, whores. I'm simply saying from my experience of interactions and such, it's starting to get on my nerves and making me care less about women. I DID say it's a two-way street, so there ARE women who think the same about men. At least give me credit for knowing that much.

As far as hobbies go... apparently nothing is good enough. I like video games, watching movies, and reading books when I am at home. Outside of home, I like hanging out with a few friends, playing pool (or billiards), and sometimes I do Karaoke. Of course, because there isn't a lot to do around here where I'm from, yes, your advice for traveling does make it helpful to develop new hobbies. For instance, I wanna learn to snowboard. I thought about rock climbing, but realize I couldn't even do a freakin' pull-up in gym class.

And yes, before you say it, I DO look for other things to do. Already I'm planning out driving with my step-cuz to California this summer. We've got hiking and camping at Yosemite planning out, and of course we're THINKING about hitting Vegas when we get through. In California... well, we've decided to hit Long Beach, San Fransisco, and he's going to show me around his old stomping grounds. We were going to do some snowboarding, but forgot the parks are closed in the summer. We may plan that stuff for Xmas this year.

And of course, who wouldn't mind a good fuck over a romantic dinner? I was simply saying I'm a romantic. Of course, in order to ACTUALLY be a romantic, I gotta have a woman to woe. So far, I'm getting better with flirting and whatnot. I mean I do work with women and they do enjoy my company. Although they're older, married, and have kids my age, I still have fun with them at work. They tease me and I do the same.

I seem to recall something you told me about your suspicions with "nice guys" and "great guys". You'll have to refresh my memory though.

 

[My Own Way]

I wasn't saying for sure, I was going by the general census through movies, what I've been told, etc.

True, everyone's different, but in the end... watching and listening as well as knowing that "actions speak louder than words" will tell you who the person is in the end. I'm not saying ALL women are backstabbing, cheating, lying, whores. I'm simply saying from my experience of interactions and such, it's starting to get on my nerves and making me care less about women. I DID say it's a two-way street, so there ARE women who think the same about men. At least give me credit for knowing that much.

I've stayed pretty silent up till this point, mainly because I really haven't had much to say on the topic...everyone is entitled to their opinion, but I do take exception to you feeling the need to point out that in your experiece, MOST women are lying, cheating, backstabbing whores as you so inelegently put it. And you wonder why you're single? I, and I'm sure 95% of the other women in the world deeply resent that you would even THINK to lump MOST women into those categories. I assure you none of those words fit the women I know. If that is your attitude toward women...then seriously...give up on it now man because once a girl gets a whiff of your negativity she'll be running towards the hills.

Frankly...and I'm sorry if I come off as sounding like a bitch...god forbid I be lumped into that category as well...has it ever occured to you that perhaps there is something the matter with YOU....something YOU need to change and that maybe you're assigning labels to women where they don't apply. I'm not saying that there aren't women out there who fit at least one of the labels you appear to apply to most women, but in my experience, those types of women are so obvious (think the one wearing the real slutty clothes, flipping her hair, and laughing annoyingly in the middle of the bar) that I don't know why you would even want to talk to them...let alone date them.

Seriously...instead of coming here every week and bitching about how awful the female sex is...because as much as I want people to be able to come here and talk about their problems, issues, etc...I'm getting a little tired of you constantly ragging on my gender for whatever perceived or misperceived slight you might have received this week....go out and change your life! Talking about changing it...and actually changing it are two different things. Take salsa dancing, go to a different bar with different friends...try rock climbing...I couldn't do a pull up in gym either but I excelled at rock climbing...Please don't take this as my not wanting to hear all about your life, etc....I just think in the future it would be nice for you to stop and think before you start throwing around insults and clumping a group of people together. Even if it's unwittingly...I take exception to being labeled as a lying, cheating, backstabbing whore...and so would all the women I know.

 

[Munachi]

gotta say, i agree with my own way - it does get a bit annoying to hear about how appearantly most of us are...

she is quite right that you should actually do things... the hobbies you named - well - most of those are things that everyone does... i wouldn't really classify them as hobbies actually, more as pastimes. unless, you are really into some of them (which, in the case of video games probably wouldn't impress most women... if you are really into literature, and know a lot about it, or don't only watch movies but are for example involved in some way in movie projects, yes that would be quite fascinating - but not many people don't read books, watch movies, or play pool with friends sometimes) - of course you can do what you want and if you don#t have particular interests, then you don't... but doing something different, being passionate about something, does give you a different outlook on life, and that would probably have influence on other aspects of life as well...

i would say, don't worry too much about women, but rather concentrate on life - except, you will probably point out that you have already said you "don't care anymore". but the fact, that you keep pointing this out shows that you do.

as for what i said about "nice guys" - is that in my experience guys that constantly feel the need to point out they are nice either aren't, really (because if they were, they wouldn't need to tell, everyone would notice by themselves), or being "nice" is all there is about them. i am not saying guys need to be "bad", i am far past the age where all i want is a bad guy. but i must admit, when i describe the perfect guy "nice" isn't really on the top of the list. of course i want a guy to be nice to me, to my friends, to people we have to interact with, but i would suppose that is more something i expect anyway, not something i would find worth mentioning as the first thing.

anyway, don't take those things we say against you. we like you, else we wouldn't take the time in writing (or maybe i should speak of me, but i am sure the others here think similar)... it's just sometimes getting a bit tiring...

 

[ElPila]

A very quick thought:

Men and women aren't two different species. So going on and on about "what women are like" and "what men are like," despite a couple of differences that are mostly imposed by the upbringing each individual gets, is mostly bollocks.

Now back to you.

 

[HybridCrow]

Okay, so I apologize you lovely ladies feel that way, despite it not being directed at you. You've been a lovely crowd.

And believe me, I DO give every woman a chance. I don't go after the "slutty women" either... well, the ones who ARE obvious to be ones anyways, but I do know just cause a woman dresses like one, walks like one, talks like one, etc... doesn't necessarily mean she is one. Which is why I do give every woman a chance.

Maybe I do need to change something about myself. Aside from the negativity, I really don't know what else there is to change about myself. I could always try to change my looks, but that'd probably cost me thousands of dollars. I'm not trying to put myself down, I'm saying I know I'm not good looking and I've accepted that.

Also, when I say I'm a great guy, I REALLY am a great guy. I'm not saying that because I know I am, but I'm saying it because the few friends I have that I'm really close to say I am. I've had lots of co-workers and managers tell me I'm a great guy too. At first I'm misunderstood, but once people get to know me, they realize I'm a great guy that's just misunderstood.

And I would LOVE to do other things, problem is... there's NOTHING else to do around here!! I'm like in the middle of a vast land of country. WHICH is why one of the things I will be doing this summer is the road trip, and maybe before Xmas, I'll go snowboarding with my step-cuz in California as well... assuming if that'll happen.

There's a few "dance clubs", but the crowd is NOT my type. Trust me on this, I haven't been there myself, but since I work 3rd shift at the gas station, I get to see the crowd that comes in from the clubs... a bunch of young teenage girls about 15 or 16 who've managed to get drunk when they shouldn't have.

I'm not always negative... I'm not even negative at first either. Frag, I forgot how this convo got started anyways... I don't know. I'm sorry to have been a bothersome bore. I'll shut up now.

Again, I apologize you feel that way MyOwn. When I say "in my experience", I was referring to the women I met or know PERSONALLY. And you're right, everyone's entitled to an opinion and my only response is I apologize.

I'm shutting up now. Probably won't say anything else anymore either.

 

[BXGemini20]

I've stayed pretty silent up till this point, mainly because I really haven't had much to say on the topic...everyone is entitled to their opinion, but I do take exception to you feeling the need to point out that in your experiece, MOST women are lying, cheating, backstabbing whores as you so inelegently put it. And you wonder why you're single? I, and I'm sure 95% of the other women in the world deeply resent that you would even THINK to lump MOST women into those categories. I assure you none of those words fit the women I know. If that is your attitude toward women...then seriously...give up on it now man because once a girl gets a whiff of your negativity she'll be running towards the hills.

Frankly...and I'm sorry if I come off as sounding like a bitch...god forbid I be lumped into that category as well...has it ever occured to you that perhaps there is something the matter with YOU....something YOU need to change and that maybe you're assigning labels to women where they don't apply. I'm not saying that there aren't women out there who fit at least one of the labels you appear to apply to most women, but in my experience, those types of women are so obvious (think the one wearing the real slutty clothes, flipping her hair, and laughing annoyingly in the middle of the bar) that I don't know why you would even want to talk to them...let alone date them.

Seriously...instead of coming here every week and bitching about how awful the female sex is...because as much as I want people to be able to come here and talk about their problems, issues, etc...I'm getting a little tired of you constantly ragging on my gender for whatever perceived or misperceived slight you might have received this week....go out and change your life! Talking about changing it...and actually changing it are two different things. Take salsa dancing, go to a different bar with different friends...try rock climbing...I couldn't do a pull up in gym either but I excelled at rock climbing...Please don't take this as my not wanting to hear all about your life, etc....I just think in the future it would be nice for you to stop and think before you start throwing around insults and clumping a group of people together. Even if it's unwittingly...I take exception to being labeled as a lying, cheating, backstabbing whore...and so would all the women I know.

Good to see My back. I got applaud that comment. Talkabout telling the truth there! I guess when to comes to me I know I'm a bit of an analyzer when comes to women. This maybe why I got so many great female friends at my college. I sense for chemistry (sound a bit female there) and personality. Looks are a plus, but personality and loyalty are bigs for me. Now I think it is time to change the subject,

 

[My Own Way]

I'm shutting up now. Probably won't say anything else anymore either.

You won't say anything anymore...ever? Is that what you're saying? If so...is this your MO? Someone offers up a dissenting opinion...challenges your beliefs and you decide they're not worth talking to anymore??

 

[My Own Way]

Good to see My back. I got applaud that comment. Talkabout telling the truth there! I guess when to comes to me I know I'm a bit of an analyzer when comes to women. This maybe why I got so many great female friends at my college. I sense for chemistry (sound a bit female there) and personality. Looks are a plus, but personality and loyalty are bigs for me. Now I think it is time to change the subject,

I wasn't trying to hurt anyones feelings...just offering up an opinion and my POV. I think we all overanalyze the opposite sex. I freely admit I'm at a loss almost all the time when it comes to my relationships with men. If they're my friends...it's easy, if I'm friends with someone from the start...say more than like a month or so and we've become really good friends, there's no way I ever look at them as anything more than friends. Why is that? I have no idea. I think it's because that's how I've trained my mind.

As for me with looks, well looks are of course what initially attracts you to someone...not necessarily their overall look, but a smile, or their eyes, or something else...but believe me...just cause someone looks hot to me doesn't mean they stay hot. I agree with Gemini, loyalty, personality...and intellegence as well as a sense of humor end up being more important.

Alright...I'm off to work now then back here to study for my masters finals...sounds exciting huh?

 

[BXGemini20]

I wasn't trying to hurt anyones feelings...just offering up an opinion and my POV. I think we all overanalyze the opposite sex. I freely admit I'm at a loss almost all the time when it comes to my relationships with men. If they're my friends...it's easy, if I'm friends with someone from the start...say more than like a month or so and we've become really good friends, there's no way I ever look at them as anything more than friends. Why is that? I have no idea. I think it's because that's how I've trained my mind.

As for me with looks, well looks are of course what initially attracts you to someone...not necessarily their overall look, but a smile, or their eyes, or something else...but believe me...just cause someone looks hot to me doesn't mean they stay hot. I agree with Gemini, loyalty, personality...and intellegence as well as a sense of humor end up being more important.

Alright...I'm off to work now then back here to study for my masters finals...sounds exciting huh?

You studying for your masters already, MY? Wow. No wonder you haven't been around. Sounds like someone needs a vacaqtion when it is all over. *sighs* kinda boring being a junior/senior right now. 5 credits away from being a senior. No fair!

 

[Munachi]

hi all... about the whole how are guys/women thing - i often have the feeling that in my relationships some of these things are reversed. like, a silly little example, the guy i am currently seeing constantly asks me what i am thinking about, and i say "nothing" - i thought that was the cliche women's thing to ask and the cliche men's answer? at least according to all those books etc. ... hehe...

anyway - actually, thinking about it, i think looks do have quite an importance for me to get interested first, but same as my own way says - not necessarily that someone is this cliché good looking person who'd be in the movies and all (in fact the other day i looked through some advertisements in some magazines and realized that none of these supposedly good looking men even caught my attention), but rather that there has to be something that catches my attention. of course, the usual thing like mouth and eyes, and just something that makes him stand out...

else, when i like someone i can't really say why it is so. of course, intelligence, sense of humour, loyalty, all those things are important, but well these are things i look for in all people i have to do with, also in my friends... well i guess mainly there has to be attraction, and that takes place on a less concious level...

 

[HybridCrow]

You won't say anything anymore...ever? Is that what you're saying? If so...is this your MO? Someone offers up a dissenting opinion...challenges your beliefs and you decide they're not worth talking to anymore??

No, shutting up as in changing the subject or not talking about the subject matter anymore. It's old and offsetting to you and the rest. Honestly, I don't know why I do it in the first place, but I'm sorry. I guess it's because I'm really frustrated and cannot understand or figure out what the hell is wrong with me and the world around me. I'm not shutting up because others have their opinions and have given them. I respect them, but at the same time, I realize it's pointless to begin with because everything is one-sided.

You guys have pointed out basically looks count for you, and I know for a fact I'm not good looking. Not trying to put myself down, but I'm simply stating the obvious and I've accepted it. That's where I work on my charm, sense of humor, and fun personality. And I'm not saying it's a bad thing you guys look for good looks either, and I will point out I noticed there are other qualities you look for more importantly. I just think it's sad, although it's in our nature to do so, to look for good looks to begin with.

Anyways, I'm sorry I've become offsetting and don't want to say anything else, because I'm... well aside from being one-sided, I guess I lack the experience, but oh well.

 

[HybridCrow]

If they're my friends...it's easy, if I'm friends with someone from the start...say more than like a month or so and we've become really good friends, there's no way I ever look at them as anything more than friends. Why is that? I have no idea. I think it's because that's how I've trained my mind.

I know I said I'd shut up, but I just noticed this comment you posted and I have to say something. This is ALSO another problem I have. I don't know when's a good time to take the first step in actually making the relationship more than friendship. I've heard different view points on this. Some people wait a few weeks, some people wait a few months, and some people don't wait at all, they just do it. I just don't know it and I probably don't get it. I mean, first I'd have to get to know the woman first before I even want to date her. The more I talk to her, spend some time with her (if any), and get to know her, the more I'm really into her and enjoy spending time with her. I can't say the same thing for her about me because, like before, it's usually all lies.

The most COMMON lie I've experienced, btw, is they only did it because they felt sorry for me. I never got along well with MAJORITY of the kids in school because I was picked on all the time. Especially when I was a kid. I'm hearing impaired, so I wear hearing aids. You won't believe how much I HATE being deaf and have to wear hearing aids. Most of the time I can barely hear on the phone or not understand what the other person is saying. Anyways, when I was a kid, before I was put into the general population of "normal students", my teachers thought I was a really smart and talented student, especially for somebody with hearing disability. Of course, the kids never saw it that way. Instead, they'd pick on me because I was in a normal class, but I went to a tutor almost every day to help with my vocal sounds. I could speak and everything, but I just wasn't making my vowels, sounds, etc. correctly because I AM deaf. They also picked on me because I have a pinched nerve and my lips look more like a sneer. Not to mention because of the hearing aids I am only able to wear, my ears stick out!

After many years of this kind of torment and school faculty not doing anything other than yelling at me telling me to deal with it, I ended up being a smart, but angry student. I was always fighting, cussing, throwing and kicking things. Nobody would SHOW me how to handle it. So, it pretty much happens all the way up to high school. Where I switched school districts. I thought I'd try to turn over a new leaf, but there were just some teachers I couldn't get along well with. So, I was back to my old self again, not trusting anybody, not believing anybody wanted to help me when they said they did because of my past... until like the zillionth time I got suspended and my dad nailed me about it. It finally hit me that my principal wasn't EXPELLING me because he knew I had potential and I was a great student, but there was only so much that he could take before he decided that I was a waste of his time. So, I straightened up. Did the best I could to ignore everyone, made a FEW friends here and there, and of course, throughout the entire time, girls would start paying more attention to me, but when I got really interested in them enough to ask them out, I got laughed at again. I've even had several girls admit they were only being nice because they felt sorry for me.

So... hopefully that tells my story WHY I think poorly about MOST women.
Before you get any ideas on telling me that I, MYSELF, feel sorry about myself, I just want you to know that I don't. I'm just confused, inexperienced, alone, and above all, misunderstood. I know I'm a great guy because my closest friends tell me I am, my family tells me I am, and my high school principal I respected a lot more later in high school said I was a great person, student even. Sure, I had my doubts about my looks, and I still HATE, Abso-fuckin-lutely HATE being deaf, but that doesn't stop me from TRYING at least.

You guys have been great anyways. At least for putting up with the rantings to an extent. I didn't want to tell my story because last time I tried, nobody listened. Also, I've heard it all too. I know there are people out there in worse shape, condition, etc. than I am, but I don't feel sorry for them. I know, they're just like me, struggling and trying the best they can in a world that is completely different to them. So, I DO acknowledge there are others, and I won't feel sorry for them. Because if they had any sense like I do, they don't want to be pitied. They want acceptance, like me. They want everybody to know that ain't nobody got nothing on them. They're capable of doing ANYTHING they put their mind to and tried to do it.

That is all I have to say. Whether you respond or not, or want me to respond to you, it's entirely up to you and myself, but I'm done now. I've told you my story, take it as you will.

 

[Salendire]

I like your Avatar pic. It looks really cool. Hmm... that pure huh? You must be really naughty.

Excuse the late reply, have not had a computer for the past few days.

Spank u for the comp on the AV. I have a large collection of art stored on the PC i would have used a photo of myself but u could not find the photo of me in my red corset that i liked.

And yes, i am naughty and love it. I will try anything 3 times, and obviously from my purity scoring i have tried a few things 3 times or more

 

[HybridCrow]

Excuse the late reply, have not had a computer for the past few days.

Spank u for the comp on the AV. I have a large collection of art stored on the PC i would have used a photo of myself but u could not find the photo of me in my red corset that i liked.

And yes, i am naughty and love it. I will try anything 3 times, and obviously from my purity scoring i have tried a few things 3 times or more

Wow.... I'd try things too if the mood is fitting. I mean I THOUGHT about trying things and hopefully when the chance comes, I may do it. For now, I'm gonna wait and see.

Hmm... red corset... that must be lovely.

 

[Munachi]

hello all... ts, the guy i am seeing is too tired to see me today. how mean. so, instead, i am here.

 

[BXGemini20]

hello all... ts, the guy i am seeing is too tired to see me today. how mean. so, instead, i am here.

Aww Poor Muna. Good thing for lit!

 

[HybridCrow]

hello all... ts, the guy i am seeing is too tired to see me today. how mean. so, instead, i am here.

Ouch... yeah, that is mean, but you have to respect the need for sleep though. Then again, you never know what it's about, but thinking too much into it will drive you crazy.