Up Your Vocabulary with MG - A Daily Contribution

[MathGirl]

trouser tent n. Embarrassing portable erection made from canvas or other trouser material, with a zip up one side, supported by a rigid shaft. If occurring whilst seated this can easily be concealed with a bowler hat.

trouser trout See trouser snake.

trouser trumpet n. 1. Fart. 2. The anus.

trouser truncheon n. The beat bobby’s favourite tool, along with his highly polished helmet.

truffle hunting v. To felch (qv) but without the curd.

tuna town n. Female genitalia; Billingsgate box.

tup v. 1. To have sex; shag. 2. Of sheep-to-sheep shagging, red hot horny ram on ewe action.

tuppence licker n. Lesbo; bean flicker.

turd n. Crap; excrement; brown trout.

turd burglar n. Stealthy thief who forces entry into the rear of a person’s premises via the chocolate drainpipe.

Turd fondler n. A name for someone held in low esteem.
MG

 

[MathGirl]

turkey-neck n. That which is throttled in Norfolk. See throttle the turkey.

Turkish two-step n. Diarrhoearal dance not disimilar to the sour apple quick step; Tijuana cha-cha, Aztec two-step etc. The thin dirties.

turn Japanese v. To wank. See also grin like a wanking Jap.

U blocker n. A turd so big it causes a jobbie jam in the foul drainage system.

udder scudder See sausage sandwich.

turtle’s head n. The initial protrusion of a stool though the teal towel holder (qv); the point at which contracts are exchanged for the building of a log cabin (qv). See also touching cloth; touching socks.

tush . tushie n. US Bum; ass. Compare toosh.

TV See tranny.

twister n. US Pervert.

twitter n. Female perineum; that area of the anatomy between the twat and the shitter (qv). See also chin rest, duffy’s bridge. The taint.
Mg
Ps. Should anyone need to know how to give a pill to a cat, contact Rumple Foreskin. He has all the information you will need.

 

[MathGirl]

two pot screamer n. Aus. Someone who cannot hold their beer. A more reserved British equivalent would be the half pint Harry.

two puppies fighting in a bag n. Large, mobile and unrestrained breasts.

twin tone n. An abrupt, wet sounding fart which changes tone suddenly as as the sphincter muscle acts to counter the imminent danger of follow through (qv).

twunt n. Useful, satisfying yet inoffensive combination of two very rude words which can safely be spoken in primmest and properest company.

U.D.I. Unidentified drinking injury. A mysterious injury received during a bender (qv) and of which the victim has no recollection.

undefuckable adj. Bust; damaged beyond repair.

undercarriage n. Genitals (usually but not exclusively male); wedding tackle.

undercrackers n. Kecks; shreddies; Y fronts. Trollies.

underchunders n. That item of clothing into which the bottom chunders. Knickers; underpants; thunder bags. (Male or female)
MG

 

[MathGirl]

underkecks See kecks.

under thunder n. Violent rectal belching of the arse’s natural kak gases which erupt from the fart fissure.

unload v. To drop a depth charge (qv) or launch an air biscuit (qv).

unmentionables n. Roman catholic mother-in-law-speak for genitals or underwear.

upchuck v. To chuck up.

uphill gardener euph. He who hoes on the pink allotments; pusher of a cheesy wheelbarrow (qv) up the kak canyon; a male homosexual.

up periscope n. Bathtime game for up to one person. See also polish the lighthouse.

vag n. US American pie, the hairy variety.

vagitarian n. He who only eats hairy pie, fur burgers, and vertical bacon sandwiches, plus the occasional fish supper.

varnish the cane v. Upon getting wood (qv), to give it a one-handed waxing.

Vatican roulette n. Periodic abstinence method of contraception popular with larger catholic families. Also rhythm method.
MG

 

[MathGirl]

underdaks n. Kecks; Y fronts; shreddies; crackerjack sacks; trollies. (Male).

vertical bacon sandwich n. That which is clearly visible in hamburger shots (qv). Also vertical smile, vertical taco.

vesser n. A silent fart.

wake up with Jake up See Jake, dawn horn, morning glory etc.

walking tripod sim. Well endowed male; donkey rigged individual. When admiring buffage (qv) a lady might remark “Look at the third leg on that. He’s a walking fucking tripod”.

walnut n. Gland up the male arse which causes immediate ejaculation when poked. Prostate.

wand waver n. Flasher; sexual exhibitionist.

wang See whanger.

wank 1. n. Masturbation. As in “If you have a wank every day you’ll go blind”. 2. n. Rubbish. e.g. “Don’t talk wank”. 3. v. To masturbate. As in “My brother wanks all the time and he’s got perfect eyesight”.
MG

 

[MathGirl]

wanker n. 1. He who wanks. 2. A fellow road user; a motorist at whom one waves. As in “Yeah... and you too, wanker”.

wank stain n. Bum scrape; piss flap; dip shit; toss pot. General purpose insult.

wanky adj. Self indulgent; pretentious.

wanking chariot n. Single bed, particularly common in student bedsits.

wanking parlour n. Brothel; house of ill repute;

wanking spanners n. Hands.

wank sock n. Sock tied to a bedpost designed to indicate when wind conditions are suitable for masturbation.

wash the cosh v. To polish the love truncheon. Commit assault on the reverend.

water sports n. Chinese singing, for pleasure, and in German. See Chinese singing lessons, golden showers, German.

wax the dolphin v. Polish the porpoise.

waz v. variously To piss; to puke; to wank
MG

 

[A7inchPhildo]

Math,
I just found out what a "Cleaveland steamer" Aka "Sinai steamer" ... is and my hats off to you in the PM you were correct I did not want to know. That is nasty!

 

[MathGirl]

That is nasty!

Dear A7,
I think you're being unnecessarily judgemental, but you do have the right to your opinion.
MG

wazoo n. Jacksie; anus.

wazzed adj. Pissed on, puked on and wanked off.

wazzock n. One who is pissing, puking and wanking all at the same time.

wear the beard v. 1. To perform cunning linguistics on a woman. 2. Of bean flickologists, the stone (qv). As in: “You can tell which one of them two wears the beard”. Compare with beard (qv).

weenie US n. Penis. Also wienie, wiener.

weenie waggler See wand waver.

wedge v. To pull another’s underpants up the crack of their arse. n. When so pulled, a wedgie.

Welsh n. Masturbation by frottering with a leek while listening to a male vocal choir.

wetback n. Affectionate term for Hispanics living in the US, even if fourth generation. Those who take an informal, less structured approach to immigration. Even the darkest mestizo, of course, claims pure Castillian ancestry back to the conquistadores.

 

[Guest]

Maths, I loved the "Welsh" and will think of it now whenever I make my very good potato-leek soup.

The "wetback" was good too. But note that any mestizo does not claim proudly the forced Castillian ancestry. Mine in fact includes a long-lost Portugese per my last name, but I like my name and ignore its original conquering horde.

Perdita la Azteca

 

[MathGirl]

Mine in fact includes a long-lost Portugese

Dear Perdita,
Oh, well, if you really WANT to acknowledge Portugese ancestry.
MG
Ps. Sorry, that's just the Kike in me coming out.

 

[Guest]

... if you really WANT to acknowledge Portugese ancestry.

No choice, Maths, it's my father's father's father's, etc. name. The Aztec is from my mom's line.

Perdita

 

[Wills]

MG

Don't mess with the Portuguese, they discovered Brazil, probably. Where would we be without coffee - about 20K NaNo words behind.

Will's (Sitting in Lisbon)

 

[MathGirl]

Don't mess with the Portuguese

Dear Wi,
Don't worry. I'm intimidated by hirsute people.
MG

 

[Wills]

And I haven't even got my AV up yet

Will's

 

[MathGirl]

wet one n. An untrustworthy fart, possibly a twin tone (qv). May result in pappering the trollies (qv). Producer of follow through (qv).

Portugese n. Members of an Iberian race. Characteristically hirsute.

wet season n. That time of the month when the crimson tide comes in. See surfing the crimson tide.

wheek v. Scotch To remove shit from an aeroplane toilet.

Kike n. Jew/Jewett. Member of a semitic race known for large hooked noses, affinity for money, and roasting gentile babies. Correctly blamed for most of the world's troubles. See Yid, Hebe, Sheeny, etc.

wheel tapping at the Bourneville factory v. Dabbling in homosexual practices; to bowl one over from the Pavilion end; the apprenticeship served prior to qualifying as a fully fledged cocoa shunter (qv). This one seems to make no sense whatsoever.

whiff of lavender n. Of a marriage, the suspicion of a bearded bride. As in: “I don’t know about Edward. There’s a whiff of lavender about that marriage”. See lavender, beard.

whistle down the Y fronts v. Fart; pass wind.

whistling in the dark v. Muff diving; eating hairy pie. Growling at the badger.

whitewater wristing v. To pull your pud; masturbate.

whoof v. To fart.
MG

 

[MathGirl]

wicked pisser n. US Good egg or a good show; top notch person or experience. As in “Thank you very much for your kindness and generosity. You really have been the most wicked pissers”.

willie n. John Thomas; Percy the pork swordsman; he who gives Gert Stonkers (qv) a pearl necklace (qv).

willie and the hand jive n. Rhythmic, throbbing cork popping combo who perform the Bologna bop (qv) among other dances.

willnots n. Tagnuts; dangleberries. Toffee entwined in the kak canyon undergrowth which simply will not come off.

windy pops n. Bunny shooting bullets; chuffs; anal announcements.

wind jammer n. A brown-pipe engineer (qv) who puts his jizz jemmy (qv) in the wind pipe.

winking walnut n. Brown eye; chocolate starfish.

winky 1. n. Tiny cock. 2. adj. Having a tendency to wink a lot.

winkybag 1. n. Tiny scrotum. 2. n. Ugly old woman with a tendency to wink a lot.

winnie n. Lesbian; she who licks the honey pot (qv).
MG

 

[Wills]

Portugese n. Members of an Iberian race. Characteristically hirsute.

Thanks MG!

I'm actually English, though I prefer European, just living here for the really excellent sheeps cheese which unfortunately does not travel too well.

Will''s

(Eating sheeps cheese & olives with a nice glass of red)

 

[Guest]

(Eating sheeps cheese & olives with a nice glass of red)

Guills, I prefer Bulgarian sheeps cheese but I'd settle to be sharing the above with you this moment.

NaNo-ed near-death,

Perdita

 

[Wills]

Perdita

Drop by, we can shake away the NaNo blues.

W

 

[MathGirl]

Guills, I prefer Bulgarian sheeps cheese

I'm constantly amazed by what people do to sheep.
MG
Ps. Does that Portugese cheese come with hair?

 

[MathGirl]

womfer (wom-fur) n. The female equivalent of biffin bridge (qv); chinrest (qv) used to avoid cramp whilst growling at the badger (qv).

wood n. Erectivity of the penicular appendation.

woody n. An erectivation.

wool n. US Fluff (qv); blart; fanny; totty.

wring the rattlesnake See siphon the python.

XXX Special video certificate awarded to pornographic films of exceptionally poor sound and picture quality.

xylophone v. To move along a line of naked women who are all bending down, and spank their bottoms - which are of varying sizes - with one’s penis; to play a tune on women's buttocks. From the Greek xylo meaning ‘wood’ and phonnicus meaning ‘to hit tunefully’.

yabba dabbas n. The climactic stages of intercourse which immediately precede the dooooooos! The vinegar strokes.

yaffle the yoghurt canon v. Suck the cock, voraciously.
MG

 

[Guest]

This last batch is very good, Maths. I think I can tell what you've added, here and in other posts. Just want to say your bits are very well done. You might consider selecting your faves and giving them all your own take, would be a good humor/satire entry.

your fan, Perdita

 

[OldnotDead]

yabba dabbas n. The climactic stages of intercourse which immediately precede the dooooooos! The vinegar strokes.

MG

Hey, MG,

You forgot one my favorites . . .

Yabbos (yah - boz) n. fun bags (qv) passion pillows (qv) - worthy of note as first citation by author attirbuted to Disney film, Hocus Pocus. Disney Corp being an infrequent contributor to THIS dictionary work.

 

[MathGirl]

Dear OnD,
Duly noted and added to the lexicon. Thank you.
MG

yank off v. Wank off; tug the T bone.

yank the plank See yank off.

Yasser n. US Erection. abbrev. ‘Yasser Crack-a-fat’. Pun on the name of the towel titfered Palestinian twit. "Yasser, that's my baby....."

yawn See technicolour yawn.

Y bone steak n. Female opposite of a tube steak (qv).

Yid n. Kike(qv)

yinyang 1. n. US Arse; bum. 2. Fuckwit; dupe.

yodel See yawn. Swedish method of bellering between mountains.

yodel in the canyon / valley See growl at the badger.
MG

 

[Guest]

Maths, I thought I would add some sophistication of another mien to your thread. I was looking something up for Gauche’s “poignant humour” thread and came across this from A Dictionary of Quotations from Shakespeare, eds., M. Miner and H.Rawson, Meridian 1996.

For ‘tis the sport to have the engineer
Hoist with his own petar.
Hamlet, III.iv

“A petar is an explosive device for creating holes in fortress gates and walls. It misfired often enough for hoist with one’s own petard to become a metaphor for being caught in a trap of one’s own making. The word petard comes from an explosion of another sort, deriving from the French péter, ‘to fart,’ and ultimately the Latin pedere, with the same low meaning.”

academically, Perdita