Virginity
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jon.hayworth
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I know that some femenists would argue that a man does not have the right to have an opinion on abortion. However as I would have been aborted if abortion had been an option in the UK in 1947 / 48, I think I am qualified to make a contribution.
Several contributors (Svenskaflicka, Deliciously Naughty amongst others have said every child should be wanted), I agree.
It has also been said the unborn child is only a clump of cells with no consciousness, - with that statement I can give limited agreement. At some point (probably in the third trimester) before birth the child does develop consciousness, the first awareness is of its environment - and the child bonds with its birth mother. Which leads me to another point in favour of abortion as the better option to adoption. No matter how good, how loving the adoptive parents the child already carries the deep psychological scars of rejection.
It is my deeply held personal opinion looking back over my life that I would probably have been better off flushed down the pan than born. My birth mother (who was 16 at the time), might have had a better more successful life. I certainly did not fullfill the aspirations of my adoptive parents. So no one really gained from my birth and if there is a god of some sort - and we have souls then maybe I would have done better next time around.
jon
Several contributors (Svenskaflicka, Deliciously Naughty amongst others have said every child should be wanted), I agree.
It has also been said the unborn child is only a clump of cells with no consciousness, - with that statement I can give limited agreement. At some point (probably in the third trimester) before birth the child does develop consciousness, the first awareness is of its environment - and the child bonds with its birth mother. Which leads me to another point in favour of abortion as the better option to adoption. No matter how good, how loving the adoptive parents the child already carries the deep psychological scars of rejection.
It is my deeply held personal opinion looking back over my life that I would probably have been better off flushed down the pan than born. My birth mother (who was 16 at the time), might have had a better more successful life. I certainly did not fullfill the aspirations of my adoptive parents. So no one really gained from my birth and if there is a god of some sort - and we have souls then maybe I would have done better next time around.
jon
my first time was when I was 11 and the girl was 12. She was half Japanese and she gave blowjobs to her older brother of 14.
I realize this is not politically correct...but the values of this modern time are just as inhibiting about reality as the values of Victorian times were blind to reality and human nature in those times.
Reality is that five year old children masturbate and that some third grade girls may masturbate habitually. Some little girls in the fifth grade give blowjobs. And puberty is an awful time full of many extremely difficult things.
By the time I was 15 I had two girlfriends who had sex with me singly and together. But I grew up in the Pacific Islands and not in Iowa or Minnesota. We used to take turns with one another.
This board thinks it has a handle on reality as to age limits but the real motivation is how to stay "up and running" and actually telling reality like it truely is is not any more popular today than it was when Victoria was Queen.
The do's and don't's have changed. But they are still there. And you obey or you don't play.
I fucked three sisters ( 10,twelve, and 14) while they all watched as we did it when I was thirteen. Wahiawa top of the road at California Avenue 1953 on the island of Oahu. And we didn't consider ourselves kids...we were adults in our own eyes.
Girls of ten don't fuck and know how? You have been spending too much time choosing pastel colors for your home decoration scheme. Don't lie to yourself. The truth is that in a fifth grade class of thirty children there is one girl who masturbates habitually. By the time she is in seventh grade she will begin to have sexual intercourse which she will initiate with younger males. By the time she is in the eighth grade she will have an older boyfriend in the ninth or tenth grade. And she will have had sex with approximately five young males on the average. She will be more mature than her boyfriend is even though he is two years older than she is.
Go look at school age pregnancy statistics. Do the numbers.
But carry on with your present policys here. What else can you do? You can't tell the truth. It isn't acceptable.
I realize this is not politically correct...but the values of this modern time are just as inhibiting about reality as the values of Victorian times were blind to reality and human nature in those times.
Reality is that five year old children masturbate and that some third grade girls may masturbate habitually. Some little girls in the fifth grade give blowjobs. And puberty is an awful time full of many extremely difficult things.
By the time I was 15 I had two girlfriends who had sex with me singly and together. But I grew up in the Pacific Islands and not in Iowa or Minnesota. We used to take turns with one another.
This board thinks it has a handle on reality as to age limits but the real motivation is how to stay "up and running" and actually telling reality like it truely is is not any more popular today than it was when Victoria was Queen.
The do's and don't's have changed. But they are still there. And you obey or you don't play.
I fucked three sisters ( 10,twelve, and 14) while they all watched as we did it when I was thirteen. Wahiawa top of the road at California Avenue 1953 on the island of Oahu. And we didn't consider ourselves kids...we were adults in our own eyes.
Girls of ten don't fuck and know how? You have been spending too much time choosing pastel colors for your home decoration scheme. Don't lie to yourself. The truth is that in a fifth grade class of thirty children there is one girl who masturbates habitually. By the time she is in seventh grade she will begin to have sexual intercourse which she will initiate with younger males. By the time she is in the eighth grade she will have an older boyfriend in the ninth or tenth grade. And she will have had sex with approximately five young males on the average. She will be more mature than her boyfriend is even though he is two years older than she is.
Go look at school age pregnancy statistics. Do the numbers.
But carry on with your present policys here. What else can you do? You can't tell the truth. It isn't acceptable.
NoJo
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It's up to you whether or not you want to tell the truth in these boards -- there's no minimum age here. You're geting confused with the stories, which are of course not intended to be the truth anyway.
The age limit in the stories is to do with paedophilia.
The age limit in the stories is to do with paedophilia.
virgin_so_far
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31 years old and still a virgin.. but nothing religious associated with it.
deliciously_naughty
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JON!jon.hayworth said:
I know you didn't mean anything bad...but I can't think of a worse insult then to call me pro life! I just want to correct you on that.
I never said I was pro-life! I'm a card carrying member of NARAL (national abortion rights activist league) and strongly support abortion as a choice that must be made. Personally I support first and second trimester abortion and don't feel that it's a person until it can live on it's own without my body
What I may have said is that I wish for a day when bc is 100% free and effective and that children would be concieved only when they were truly wanted. But I know that will never happen (at least in the us)...and I'm not about to stop having sex just because it isn't. If I were to get pregnant, I might have an abortion (however, I am almost at the age where I would like to be when I have my first...I'm 25 this year and I'd like to be 27 when I get pregnant) because I still have 18 months of grad school before I'm done and right now I couldn't support a child.
Just wanted to speak up before I get a rep as a pro-lifer (no offense to anyone who is)
my name is jenny, and i'm a virgin. *waves*
hi. um, i'm 19 and i'm still a virgin. i'm waiting until i get married to have sex - not because i don't want to do it, but because men are sneaky little bastards who'll run off with your virginity and show it to all their friends!
actually, that presents a gross picture.
what i mean is, i wanna make sure the guy's not gonna use me for sex and then leave, which i see happening to my friends a lot.
of course, the way it's working now is they leave as soon as they find out i'm NOT having sex... so it's the same end, but without the pleasure.
maybe i should rethink this...
hi. um, i'm 19 and i'm still a virgin. i'm waiting until i get married to have sex - not because i don't want to do it, but because men are sneaky little bastards who'll run off with your virginity and show it to all their friends!
actually, that presents a gross picture.
what i mean is, i wanna make sure the guy's not gonna use me for sex and then leave, which i see happening to my friends a lot.
of course, the way it's working now is they leave as soon as they find out i'm NOT having sex... so it's the same end, but without the pleasure.
maybe i should rethink this...
Re: my name is jenny, and i'm a virgin. *waves*
LOL That almost sounds like a joke.
I agree. A lot of men are sneaky little bastards who are just looking for one thing and your body is 'it.'
As a guy I can tell you that society gives us a lot of support in our quest for 'sexual action.'
I hope if you rethink it, you will come to a similar conclusion. I think there are a lot of reasons for premarital sex done responsibly. But, you can do real damage to your self-esteem by heavy casual sex.
It's unfortunate that in a sexual encounter, you tend to have more at risk than the guy on the other side of the bed...
Good luck,
Shin
Jazzyhoe said:
LOL That almost sounds like a joke.
I agree. A lot of men are sneaky little bastards who are just looking for one thing and your body is 'it.'
As a guy I can tell you that society gives us a lot of support in our quest for 'sexual action.'
I hope if you rethink it, you will come to a similar conclusion. I think there are a lot of reasons for premarital sex done responsibly. But, you can do real damage to your self-esteem by heavy casual sex.
It's unfortunate that in a sexual encounter, you tend to have more at risk than the guy on the other side of the bed...
Good luck,
Shin
Svenskaflicka
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Group: Hi, Jenny!!!
lol
One has to be careful. Virgin or not, one doesn't want someone who will have sex with you and then run off and tell intimate details about you to all his friends.
But as for the first time thing... don't read too much into it. I consider my first time extremely great, even though it hurt, I didn't get an orgasm, and it took two tries before the guy finally made my hymen break - so I lost my virginity twice, sort of!
First time isn't great. Not even when it's great, is it Great. Sex is one of the things that is lousy in the beginning, (though lousy feels very good, too!) and then gets more wonderful after you've been training for a few years.
Practice. Learn tricks. Learn how to apply the right kind of pressure at the right moan spots at the right time...
First time is just something to get through. Preferebly with someone who will make it OK, instead of Hell. But don't expect fireworks and raining roses, or you'll be disappointed.
Justin_Thyme
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sirhugs
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But objectifying virginity is really at the root of the issue. whats so special about it?
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WOW, brave man! That question should be good for tearing up a mile or so of perfectly good trackage!
JT
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But objectifying virginity is really at the root of the issue. whats so special about it?
.................................................................
WOW, brave man! That question should be good for tearing up a mile or so of perfectly good trackage!
JT
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Re: my name is jenny, and i'm a virgin. *waves*
Don't let the "sneaky little bastards" scare you off from having sex. It's been my experience that guys enjoying talking about their "luck" over the weekend, etc. I would dare say even fiancees and husbands might do alittle bragging about what they did with their mate when they hang out with "the guys".
Hon, if you decide to stay a virgin until you are married, thats very cool. Otherwise, enjoy sex for yourself and don't live with the fear of the guy running and bragging.
The boys may talk, but so do the girls.
Jazzyhoe said:
Don't let the "sneaky little bastards" scare you off from having sex. It's been my experience that guys enjoying talking about their "luck" over the weekend, etc. I would dare say even fiancees and husbands might do alittle bragging about what they did with their mate when they hang out with "the guys".
Hon, if you decide to stay a virgin until you are married, thats very cool. Otherwise, enjoy sex for yourself and don't live with the fear of the guy running and bragging.
The boys may talk, but so do the girls.
objectifying virginity?
i guess i'm not really sure what that means... but it's hard for me to imagine someone not thinking of virginity as something kinda special.
i mean, cause like... isn't it something kinda special?
hmm.
maybe i'm just a romantic, but i think sex is an act of love, and i've never been in love with anyone (you know, not _really_), and i wanna make sure i am before i do it. so. i think being married is kinda proof of love, and therefore, the perfect time to have sex!
i wanna marry a virgin too. it would be like... we waited for each other. and that would make it even more special. like that quote - i'm already someone's lover, he just hasn't found me yet. i've already been faithful to my husband, and i haven't even met him! i think that's kinda special.
isn't it?
but then you do have that other quote - the blind fucking the blind. it'll be awkward, to say the least.
i guess i'm not really sure what that means... but it's hard for me to imagine someone not thinking of virginity as something kinda special.
i mean, cause like... isn't it something kinda special?
hmm.
maybe i'm just a romantic, but i think sex is an act of love, and i've never been in love with anyone (you know, not _really_), and i wanna make sure i am before i do it. so. i think being married is kinda proof of love, and therefore, the perfect time to have sex!
i wanna marry a virgin too. it would be like... we waited for each other. and that would make it even more special. like that quote - i'm already someone's lover, he just hasn't found me yet. i've already been faithful to my husband, and i haven't even met him! i think that's kinda special.
isn't it?
but then you do have that other quote - the blind fucking the blind. it'll be awkward, to say the least.
deliciously_naughty
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I hate to say this...but what's so freaking nice about marrying a virgin?
Ok, if you've had sex and you marry a virgin...the only thing I can imagine is that you're trying to cover up how lousy you are in bed.
If you're a virgin...what if you marry someone who's lousy in bed????? Sometimes it can be fixed (if they're willing to change...i've been with people who aren't great in bed and won't take suggestions). And I've yet to meet someone who hasn't been strongly strongly tempted to try out someone else.
I am seriously in favor of trying out your partner...sexual compatibility isn't EVERYTHING...but believe me when I say it's SOMETHING.
So you prize your virginity...good for you. It wasn't for me, but if it works for you...great. I would suggest finding a boyfriend you care for and try out the "I don't have casual sex...I may wait until I am married" line. If they leave they're not good enough for you. But if they're still around 6 months, or a year later...then try them out.
If you wait for marriage, remember several things. Few couples have sex on their wedding night (it's an exhausting day...and a lot of people I know didn't have sex)...and your first time is most likely not going to be great. Mine sucked...but my second time was amazing.
Per the guys bragging...as a woman who has a decent number of friends and over 15 partners...I have discovered that women talk a HELL of a lot more then men do. And the more that the girl means to the guy, the less he'll talk about it.
Yes there are slimeballs out there...but there are great guys too. If all the guys you've encountered have been one way...maybe you should try dating another type of guy? I had to switch types when I realized that I continuously was dating commitment phobes...my last several serious boyfriends for example. Great guys, but not interested in commitment. So what I look for now is different.
Ok, if you've had sex and you marry a virgin...the only thing I can imagine is that you're trying to cover up how lousy you are in bed.
If you're a virgin...what if you marry someone who's lousy in bed????? Sometimes it can be fixed (if they're willing to change...i've been with people who aren't great in bed and won't take suggestions). And I've yet to meet someone who hasn't been strongly strongly tempted to try out someone else.
I am seriously in favor of trying out your partner...sexual compatibility isn't EVERYTHING...but believe me when I say it's SOMETHING.
So you prize your virginity...good for you. It wasn't for me, but if it works for you...great. I would suggest finding a boyfriend you care for and try out the "I don't have casual sex...I may wait until I am married" line. If they leave they're not good enough for you. But if they're still around 6 months, or a year later...then try them out.
If you wait for marriage, remember several things. Few couples have sex on their wedding night (it's an exhausting day...and a lot of people I know didn't have sex)...and your first time is most likely not going to be great. Mine sucked...but my second time was amazing.
Per the guys bragging...as a woman who has a decent number of friends and over 15 partners...I have discovered that women talk a HELL of a lot more then men do. And the more that the girl means to the guy, the less he'll talk about it.
Yes there are slimeballs out there...but there are great guys too. If all the guys you've encountered have been one way...maybe you should try dating another type of guy? I had to switch types when I realized that I continuously was dating commitment phobes...my last several serious boyfriends for example. Great guys, but not interested in commitment. So what I look for now is different.
toffeegyrl
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The day after thanksgiving, 2000. I was 26.
Afterward, I felt really disappointed, like "that is what all the fuss is about?" I felt glad to be 'unvirginized', but I was in no hurry to repeat the experience.
Until the 2nd time: still the best damn sex I ever had: uninhibited, exciting, new, fun, completely in the moment. I don't think I'll ever have sex like that again.
Afterward, I felt really disappointed, like "that is what all the fuss is about?" I felt glad to be 'unvirginized', but I was in no hurry to repeat the experience.
Until the 2nd time: still the best damn sex I ever had: uninhibited, exciting, new, fun, completely in the moment. I don't think I'll ever have sex like that again.
deliciously_naughty
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SlickTony said:
Yes, but if you're already married to that person, that leaves you in a sticky situation, so to speak
Svenskaflicka
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A friend of mine from India and I were talking about virginity. He said he not only wanted to marry a virgin, but he also wanted to remain a virgin himself until they got married, so that they would both be "pure".
I said I could imagine what kind of wedding night they would have. Both nervous, clumsy and insecure of what to do and how to do it, and the whole thing ending up being a painful fiasko. Nice way to start your married life together.
That guy is quite a playboy today - and he won't marry a woman who's a virgin. He wants someone who's good in bed.
I said I could imagine what kind of wedding night they would have. Both nervous, clumsy and insecure of what to do and how to do it, and the whole thing ending up being a painful fiasko. Nice way to start your married life together.
That guy is quite a playboy today - and he won't marry a woman who's a virgin. He wants someone who's good in bed.
deliciously_naughty
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SlickTony said:
Which proves my point
virginleo20
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well...
well jazzy and a couple of other ladies on here...
all i can say is that not all men are sneaky bastards... heck i for one am not
But the question of it is how many women realize that they them selves are to blame for encouraging those men to become sneaky bastards?
( sorry couldnt resist that joke)
In any case it takes 2 to tango and if a lady got her "rocks" off when sleeping with a dissapearing act well then why complain.
Personally i would never pull an act like most of the guys out there but my situation is that if i even smile at a woman they run away screaming bloody murder.
(just to exagerate a little bit)
well jazzy and a couple of other ladies on here...
all i can say is that not all men are sneaky bastards... heck i for one am not
But the question of it is how many women realize that they them selves are to blame for encouraging those men to become sneaky bastards?
( sorry couldnt resist that joke)
In any case it takes 2 to tango and if a lady got her "rocks" off when sleeping with a dissapearing act well then why complain.
Personally i would never pull an act like most of the guys out there but my situation is that if i even smile at a woman they run away screaming bloody murder.
(just to exagerate a little bit)
DarrylTheHitman
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I'll be honest in saying I haven't read most of the posts in this thread. *ducking in case I've broken netiquette or something* This is also my first post. That being said, I just wanted to bring up the average age of virgins around here. I'm 26 and as yet untouched by the female form. I've never been able to figure out how to approach women that I'm attracted to, although I seem to be fine with just being friends with women. Generally though, for me women are like Agatha Christie novels--they're both full of mystery.
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