What a mess we are
- Thread starter rashid
- Start date
Whoa
Never thought I'd see intelligent conversation on an internet personals board
My .02... Sometimes I'm embarrased to be a guy. Seeing what gets posted here (and other places) makes me wonder how women see us. Do you just assume we are just perverts who send you pictures of our swollen members, spell INCREDIBLY poorly and talk very dirty all the time? Because I can why you would, and that makes me sad =/
Personally, when I first started checking out the online personals, I was only looking for no-strings sex, too. But over time, I realized I was really looking for someone to talk to. I don't think I'd ever actually go through with actually having sex with someone I met here. Meeting in real life, yes; sex, no) which is really a good thing, because I am recently engaged)...
The reason I decided to start looking online for companionship is because my fiancee is the only woman I've really dated (5 1/2 years now!). I don't have many girl friends, and it always seemed like I was missing out on something. I've always been pretty shy, so I don't meet many people, either.
Well, now that I've sufficiently wandered from the original point to my post, I think I can sum it up with "Sometimes the men here don't know what they're after, either." I know I was like that once (although, I never sent anybody naked pics of myself or told them that I WANNA FILL YUO UP WITH MY HUGE COCK!!).
Never thought I'd see intelligent conversation on an internet personals board
My .02... Sometimes I'm embarrased to be a guy. Seeing what gets posted here (and other places) makes me wonder how women see us. Do you just assume we are just perverts who send you pictures of our swollen members, spell INCREDIBLY poorly and talk very dirty all the time? Because I can why you would, and that makes me sad =/
Personally, when I first started checking out the online personals, I was only looking for no-strings sex, too. But over time, I realized I was really looking for someone to talk to. I don't think I'd ever actually go through with actually having sex with someone I met here. Meeting in real life, yes; sex, no) which is really a good thing, because I am recently engaged)...
The reason I decided to start looking online for companionship is because my fiancee is the only woman I've really dated (5 1/2 years now!). I don't have many girl friends, and it always seemed like I was missing out on something. I've always been pretty shy, so I don't meet many people, either.
Well, now that I've sufficiently wandered from the original point to my post, I think I can sum it up with "Sometimes the men here don't know what they're after, either." I know I was like that once (although, I never sent anybody naked pics of myself or told them that I WANNA FILL YUO UP WITH MY HUGE COCK!!).
rashid
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well said far west
Nice to hear from a fellow Canuk - I spent most of my adult life shuttling between Vancouver and LA only to end up in Arizona - go figure.
Have to say you're quite right about the motivation changing over time. (or at least the understanding of the real motivation)
I want you ladies to understand that meeting you in real life is just as scary for me as it is for you. I'm not ready to move you into my life after one date either you know, and liking someone for the mind I encounter online is only a part of the equation. There are at least four other senses to bring in to the picture when meeting someone in person and they all have something to say about whether this is good or not. Even so, I'll take the real thing over cyber any time as long as the pieces fit.
Nice to hear from a fellow Canuk - I spent most of my adult life shuttling between Vancouver and LA only to end up in Arizona - go figure.
Have to say you're quite right about the motivation changing over time. (or at least the understanding of the real motivation)
I want you ladies to understand that meeting you in real life is just as scary for me as it is for you. I'm not ready to move you into my life after one date either you know, and liking someone for the mind I encounter online is only a part of the equation. There are at least four other senses to bring in to the picture when meeting someone in person and they all have something to say about whether this is good or not. Even so, I'll take the real thing over cyber any time as long as the pieces fit.
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Silver Sea
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Wonderful!!!
What a wonderful discussion. I have read most of the posts in this thread and have gleaned some great tips for posting ads and responding to ads. It will be interesting to see if the tone and content of the posts change as a result of this thread.
Maybe Literotica needs a "Tips for posting/responding to ads" topic. Much like it has tips for authors. (And I'm not volunteering to put it together...LOL)
What a wonderful discussion. I have read most of the posts in this thread and have gleaned some great tips for posting ads and responding to ads. It will be interesting to see if the tone and content of the posts change as a result of this thread.
Maybe Literotica needs a "Tips for posting/responding to ads" topic. Much like it has tips for authors. (And I'm not volunteering to put it together...LOL)
Al Gore's Beard
this is certainly an aborition for the lit personals board. intelligent chatter. i'll be a monkey's uncle. having just chugged thru most of it, i'd had a lot to say, but have forgotten most of it. damn drugs. anyway at some point someone brought up the good boy/bad boy schism. my little secret, be a good boy dressed up like a bad one. seven years of bliss later, it still works like a charm.
this is certainly an aborition for the lit personals board. intelligent chatter. i'll be a monkey's uncle. having just chugged thru most of it, i'd had a lot to say, but have forgotten most of it. damn drugs. anyway at some point someone brought up the good boy/bad boy schism. my little secret, be a good boy dressed up like a bad one. seven years of bliss later, it still works like a charm.
G
Guest
Guest
You know, I keep wandering in her expecting to see the dead end of this thread, and every time, there is something new. Do you suppose that very many of us would be comfortable having this conversation in RL?
I can only speak for myself here, but there are guys posting here that I would date (if I were dating). Sometimes a woman has to wonder about her gender when good men get tossed aside or over looked and bums get all the action. Life just isn't right sometimes. But then again, women have their own gender disasters...you know the ones I mean guys, giggly, jiggly, and is either saving herself for marriage, has some wierd position/lighting/socks kind of thing going on, everything has to be just right or no nookie.
We're just all kind of screwed up in some way or another. Thats just life. Its the way we deal with being screwed up that counts.
I can only speak for myself here, but there are guys posting here that I would date (if I were dating). Sometimes a woman has to wonder about her gender when good men get tossed aside or over looked and bums get all the action. Life just isn't right sometimes. But then again, women have their own gender disasters...you know the ones I mean guys, giggly, jiggly, and is either saving herself for marriage, has some wierd position/lighting/socks kind of thing going on, everything has to be just right or no nookie.
We're just all kind of screwed up in some way or another. Thats just life. Its the way we deal with being screwed up that counts.
rashid
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Did anyone else notice Al Gore looking like Grizzly Adams? looks kinda like a real guy - grins - wonder if he'll run again? Anyone care?
Like you said in an earlier post love - feels like we're sitting around the pool with friends having a drink and nibbling on fresh cooked prawns and kabobs.
Works for me ;-)
See ya in the bar hon - I have a whole night to think about it.
by the way - bums have one distinct advantage - they're easily forgettable.
Like you said in an earlier post love - feels like we're sitting around the pool with friends having a drink and nibbling on fresh cooked prawns and kabobs.
Works for me ;-)
See ya in the bar hon - I have a whole night to think about it.
by the way - bums have one distinct advantage - they're easily forgettable.
Lady_Kit
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Tipper says that Al may not come out to play during the next election. She would like him to stay home and help her moderate the little voices in her head. lol
mmm lets think about this pool thing.....a few drinks, some candles....a little jazz on the stereo....the sound of the surf, just steps away from pool side.
What a gathering of minds and bodies we could have from the participants in this thread....
Pool party anyone? sans suits? ;-)
Rashid, better hustle your butt back to the bar...things are getting interesting, can't wait to see what cums next.
mmm lets think about this pool thing.....a few drinks, some candles....a little jazz on the stereo....the sound of the surf, just steps away from pool side.
What a gathering of minds and bodies we could have from the participants in this thread....
Pool party anyone? sans suits? ;-)
Rashid, better hustle your butt back to the bar...things are getting interesting, can't wait to see what cums next.
Paradox
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Would we have this conversation in R/L? You bet. Hey, when a bunch of intelligent folks get together, what else are they going to do but talk?
You did say sans-suits, didn't you? Jazz? Prawns? I'm there!
Rashid, I think you need to toss out another topic. Not that this one is dead, but the thread is getting pretty long. This topic has kept me coming back day after day just to see what has been added. You've really hit on something, my friend.
You did say sans-suits, didn't you? Jazz? Prawns? I'm there!
Rashid, I think you need to toss out another topic. Not that this one is dead, but the thread is getting pretty long. This topic has kept me coming back day after day just to see what has been added. You've really hit on something, my friend.
rashid
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Party's at Kits house?
grins - good idea Paradox, how about a new chat called pool party - Members only? By invitation - Admission for those who can be fun, polite and respectful unless asked to be nasty ;-)
God knows I have no idea how to manage such a thing but it could be fun no? Of course a real Pool Party could be even more fun. The annual literotica invitational pool party. Hmmmmmmm
grins - good idea Paradox, how about a new chat called pool party - Members only? By invitation - Admission for those who can be fun, polite and respectful unless asked to be nasty ;-)
God knows I have no idea how to manage such a thing but it could be fun no? Of course a real Pool Party could be even more fun. The annual literotica invitational pool party. Hmmmmmmm
Lady_Kit
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a nice little pool in the chat room?
Anyone interested in getting together in the chat room?
A wonderful new spot is opening up. Near the beach, tropical breezes, fresh water pool, hot tub, very exclusive, invitation only....
This is a clothing restricted area, open bar, great music, great food...Comfy lounge chairs, the surf just steps away...
Bright stars in a clear sky....Any takers?
I'll bring the massage oil....
Anyone interested in getting together in the chat room?
A wonderful new spot is opening up. Near the beach, tropical breezes, fresh water pool, hot tub, very exclusive, invitation only....
This is a clothing restricted area, open bar, great music, great food...Comfy lounge chairs, the surf just steps away...
Bright stars in a clear sky....Any takers?
I'll bring the massage oil....
softcaress69
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I have to agree, this thread has become addictive. Can’t wait for the next post. Lady_Kit you made me laugh with your comment at the top. Thanks! So when is this pool party? It sounds like a great idea having a discussion in R/T and a pool party. Hmmmmm! When and where? I’ll love to come.
G
Guest
Guest
I am happily entertained by this thread, as well as educated by your thoughts. I want to add my bravo to the previous posts as I look forward to more stimulating threads, as this.
MizTabby
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he says/she says
Hi Rashid and all the worthy contributors to this thread
I've been reading diligently and I'd like to voice a few humble thoughts.
On a personal note, I've been reluctant to put ad ad on the Personals, mainly because I don't know what to say! I don't want to come of as a sex crazed female (although she seems to get mammoth attention) but, at the same time, I don't want to appear mousey (which might cause her to be overlooked). Does that make sense? What to do, what to do?
I figure I should just be myself, make it short, sensible and sweet, yet not quit my day job to sit and wait for replies, and allow my libido to go bankrupt.
The few (unattached) ladies that I exchange conversation with on any sexual topic, seem to agree on one thing: they'd like to be with a gentleman who can ring their bell; a really nice, considerate, witty, sweet sort of man, who can be sensual and sexually stimulating at the same time. My sentiments exactly!
I happen to like a man who can be all business on the outside, but can turn me upside down in private. Sure the imagination can soar when one reads some of the spicier ads, but what does that say about a person really? And before I get my butt tossed, I am not being critical of any ads or comments here, to each his/her own.
In my opinion, it all boils down to reading and assessing and making a decision, taking it from there and hopefully, some real sort of relationship can develop, if that is the desired outcome. On the other hand, there are those who need only quick sexual gratification, or short term association, and that is also available.
May I say bravo to those (ladies and gents) who are brave enough to bare a little of their souls and themselves on the Personals and ^5 to those who have found what or who they're looking for.
I know this is a little more than my 2 cents, but hey, every dime counts.
(So, should I check my PM later??)
Hi Rashid and all the worthy contributors to this thread
I've been reading diligently and I'd like to voice a few humble thoughts.
On a personal note, I've been reluctant to put ad ad on the Personals, mainly because I don't know what to say! I don't want to come of as a sex crazed female (although she seems to get mammoth attention) but, at the same time, I don't want to appear mousey (which might cause her to be overlooked). Does that make sense? What to do, what to do?
I figure I should just be myself, make it short, sensible and sweet, yet not quit my day job to sit and wait for replies, and allow my libido to go bankrupt.
The few (unattached) ladies that I exchange conversation with on any sexual topic, seem to agree on one thing: they'd like to be with a gentleman who can ring their bell; a really nice, considerate, witty, sweet sort of man, who can be sensual and sexually stimulating at the same time. My sentiments exactly!
I happen to like a man who can be all business on the outside, but can turn me upside down in private. Sure the imagination can soar when one reads some of the spicier ads, but what does that say about a person really? And before I get my butt tossed, I am not being critical of any ads or comments here, to each his/her own.
In my opinion, it all boils down to reading and assessing and making a decision, taking it from there and hopefully, some real sort of relationship can develop, if that is the desired outcome. On the other hand, there are those who need only quick sexual gratification, or short term association, and that is also available.
May I say bravo to those (ladies and gents) who are brave enough to bare a little of their souls and themselves on the Personals and ^5 to those who have found what or who they're looking for.
I know this is a little more than my 2 cents, but hey, every dime counts.
(So, should I check my PM later??)
Dhalgren
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Personally, I have found that it's very much like sitting around that pool casually talking to very interesting and intelligent people..
And then you hear somebody from the other side of the jacuzzi saying something that just completely rings true in your head..so you find yourself sliding closer to hear them..you find that you have something to say that would be of interest to you both to relay..really awesome dialog is created.
And soon your heads are quietly tilted towards the other..and the dialog is amazing and often very enlightening.
You suddenly remember why it was such a good idea to go to this wonderful party. I mean, you knew the company would be fun and all..
Now..
The sun is setting, the water is reflective and you have found another very cool friend.
And then you hear somebody from the other side of the jacuzzi saying something that just completely rings true in your head..so you find yourself sliding closer to hear them..you find that you have something to say that would be of interest to you both to relay..really awesome dialog is created.
And soon your heads are quietly tilted towards the other..and the dialog is amazing and often very enlightening.
You suddenly remember why it was such a good idea to go to this wonderful party. I mean, you knew the company would be fun and all..
Now..
The sun is setting, the water is reflective and you have found another very cool friend.
Lady_Kit
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Ok Kiddies....here's the deal. We're having a pool party! We need to plan a time, and set ourselves up with a private room at Lit Chat. We make it by invitation only. The "conversations" within this thread have been thought provoking, funny, and poignant. I think the ways that ideas are being bounced from one person to another is like a very polite conversation. When one person is speaking, everyone else is silent.
Besides all of the above...it would be a real blast to find out the other interests we all share.
I'll give up what I consider the relevant data first...
I'm on Eastern Standard Time
Anything between 8pm and 1am is usually ok, just consider my stamina...lol
Any evening is ok, weekends are better
Lets hear from you!
Kisses!!!
Besides all of the above...it would be a real blast to find out the other interests we all share.
I'll give up what I consider the relevant data first...
I'm on Eastern Standard Time
Anything between 8pm and 1am is usually ok, just consider my stamina...lol
Any evening is ok, weekends are better
Lets hear from you!
Kisses!!!
softcaress69
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Great Idea!
Lady_Kit that is a great idea! I also have no problem with those times. I also am on EST. Lets see what happens.
Lady_Kit that is a great idea! I also have no problem with those times. I also am on EST. Lets see what happens.
Shy Tall Guy
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Re: he says/she says
Mistique,
In the long run that is probably the best course to travel; that is if you want long term results. I can't speak for the rest of the guys, but playing mind games is a big turn off to me; time is the one resource we have a finite amount of, and IMO such games waste that precious resource.
Well there you go - that is pretty straightforward.
Men just as often put up a facade as women, and it can be just as damaging to communication once others see through it.
STG
Mistique,
In the long run that is probably the best course to travel; that is if you want long term results. I can't speak for the rest of the guys, but playing mind games is a big turn off to me; time is the one resource we have a finite amount of, and IMO such games waste that precious resource.
Well there you go - that is pretty straightforward.
Men just as often put up a facade as women, and it can be just as damaging to communication once others see through it.
STG
rashid
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Weekend mornings are always great -
when it's quiet here at 6 am Arizona time I'm private, sipping coffee and reading my mail. It's a perfect time for me - no distractions. But at that time you guys are probably getting busy with your lives. It's 8 or 9 am for you so time zones may be a barrier to some of us. Just the same, Kit pointed out the quality of the conversation with each person speaking uninterrupted untill their thought is complete so maybe time need not be a barrier to communication. Can we do a pool party like an interactive story or do you all think that would be too personal to do in a public place? An invitation only website with a discussion forum set up?
While you all mull this over I'm going to sit next to Kit (because I think she's quite wonderful and increadibly sexy) and enjoy the electricity in the air.
when it's quiet here at 6 am Arizona time I'm private, sipping coffee and reading my mail. It's a perfect time for me - no distractions. But at that time you guys are probably getting busy with your lives. It's 8 or 9 am for you so time zones may be a barrier to some of us. Just the same, Kit pointed out the quality of the conversation with each person speaking uninterrupted untill their thought is complete so maybe time need not be a barrier to communication. Can we do a pool party like an interactive story or do you all think that would be too personal to do in a public place? An invitation only website with a discussion forum set up?
While you all mull this over I'm going to sit next to Kit (because I think she's quite wonderful and increadibly sexy) and enjoy the electricity in the air.
MizTabby
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Nicely put Shy
Hi Shy,
Thanks for your reply, much appreciated. I remember that oldie "If I only had time", and the thing is, we do! How we use it is another matter. Communication is of the essence on the boards, e-mail and PM's, that is the long and short of it (no pun intended) a picture might be worth a thousand words, but a few TRUE words are worth a whole lot more. If the tendency is to create a masquerade behind a monitor, and both parties are well aware that it is nothing more than a facade, to consumate a fantasy, then he/she is solely responsible for the outcome.
But, the search for that person who will light up one's life, in the way(s) best known to him/her, ought to be based on truth, from the start, which will allow each of them to explore and progress mutually and hopefully achieve their minds, hearts and bodies desires.
Unfortunately, I have been on the receiving end of the facade, unaware that a game was being played. So I become more cautious, but still believing that all men are not created equal, in the cyber realm of things.
**Thanks to Rashid for his brainwave with this thread, there are so many varied and valuable thoughts and opinions expressed so far! That "pool party" sounds enticing. Enjoy your coffee and your sit down with Kit
Shy Tall Guy said:
Hi Shy,
Thanks for your reply, much appreciated. I remember that oldie "If I only had time", and the thing is, we do! How we use it is another matter. Communication is of the essence on the boards, e-mail and PM's, that is the long and short of it (no pun intended) a picture might be worth a thousand words, but a few TRUE words are worth a whole lot more. If the tendency is to create a masquerade behind a monitor, and both parties are well aware that it is nothing more than a facade, to consumate a fantasy, then he/she is solely responsible for the outcome.
But, the search for that person who will light up one's life, in the way(s) best known to him/her, ought to be based on truth, from the start, which will allow each of them to explore and progress mutually and hopefully achieve their minds, hearts and bodies desires.
Unfortunately, I have been on the receiving end of the facade, unaware that a game was being played. So I become more cautious, but still believing that all men are not created equal, in the cyber realm of things.
**Thanks to Rashid for his brainwave with this thread, there are so many varied and valuable thoughts and opinions expressed so far! That "pool party" sounds enticing. Enjoy your coffee and your sit down with Kit
Shy Tall Guy
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Re: Nicely put Shy
Everyone will put up a facade to one degree or another, but I prefer mine to be more transparent than opaque.
Because I am shy, I tend towards disliking mind games - I suffered through them when I was a teen. I don't know what it was, but I think it was my gullibility and naivete - I took people at face value, and still do to some degree.
I just think most mind games are a waste of time, others love the give and take. Not that I don't like some harmless flirting, but I prefer that if/when it gets serious then there be some real interest there. Where different people draw that line of course is going to vary.
STG
Mistique said:
Everyone will put up a facade to one degree or another, but I prefer mine to be more transparent than opaque.
Because I am shy, I tend towards disliking mind games - I suffered through them when I was a teen. I don't know what it was, but I think it was my gullibility and naivete - I took people at face value, and still do to some degree.
I just think most mind games are a waste of time, others love the give and take. Not that I don't like some harmless flirting, but I prefer that if/when it gets serious then there be some real interest there. Where different people draw that line of course is going to vary.
STG
G
Guest
Guest
new strands keep the thread going...
Where to start...The pool party - perhaps a new thread, set at the pool, with lots of mingling and conversation. If we all continue to respond to each others questions and statements as we have done here it should continue to be interesting. If groups or couples want to engage in more personal or intimate dialogue, they perhaps they can make their own arrangements about a room.
The new strands...more insightful posts! I don't know about the rest of you, but I am enjoying the view into the male mind and the minds of my fellow females.
To the nice guys who have posted here, I'd say that the odds of finding a nice girl are improving every day. You are all quite articulate about what you do and do not want. As we all know, women like to talk (about every damn thing), so when you can talk the talk the rest is easy. Never give up! Never surrender!
I officially vote for the pool party thread, with options to take it to a room! There are several of you that I'd love to chat with, so lets get on with it!
*moves to a east facing bench, sits and pours two coffees from a thermos of coffe, offers to share coffee, seat, and sunrise with rashid*
- a nice guy, who is literate, intelligent, and sexy....
and now, Desert Rider, you, are wanted in the office...
Where to start...The pool party - perhaps a new thread, set at the pool, with lots of mingling and conversation. If we all continue to respond to each others questions and statements as we have done here it should continue to be interesting. If groups or couples want to engage in more personal or intimate dialogue, they perhaps they can make their own arrangements about a room.
The new strands...more insightful posts! I don't know about the rest of you, but I am enjoying the view into the male mind and the minds of my fellow females.
To the nice guys who have posted here, I'd say that the odds of finding a nice girl are improving every day. You are all quite articulate about what you do and do not want. As we all know, women like to talk (about every damn thing), so when you can talk the talk the rest is easy. Never give up! Never surrender!
I officially vote for the pool party thread, with options to take it to a room! There are several of you that I'd love to chat with, so lets get on with it!
*moves to a east facing bench, sits and pours two coffees from a thermos of coffe, offers to share coffee, seat, and sunrise with rashid*
- a nice guy, who is literate, intelligent, and sexy....
and now, Desert Rider, you, are wanted in the office...
G
Guest
Guest
in re:
There comes a time in every one's life, be it male or female...when choices are made. Who's kidding who? Is there ever a time when man and woman will intrinsically understand
each other and the impact they have on each other? Can most people just be themselves? Or is that too terrifying to consider?
How many people out there (in that big cruel yet wondeful world)
live their life REALLY know Who and What they are? And remain
that person? Who live a life (sexually and/or romantically) exactly by choice? I, as a female..refuse to compromise. I am, I said.
And I meant it.
I have been celibate...and not. I love the joy of sex and yet, in the past I have chosen celibacy. Because...at that time in my life,
it's what was needed. To distance myself. To place my energies elsewhere. And it worked! And yet, I am a social, sexual gregarious woman. But never have I played a game (deliberately or not) because I am a CONSCIOUS woman. I chose the lovers in my life. I have never let a man chase me 'till I caught him. That seems so utterly ...hmmm...insulting somehow. I do agree that women AND men are somehow...conditioned to "play the hands they're given". Who conditioned whom? I submit...We do it to each other. Just as a conversation needs two speakers.
I have never blamed a man for pain(s) inflicted. It was my choice to feel the pain after all. And to feel the joy(s) too. I, Rashid... will never live my life on autopilot. (It would be oh-so-boring) that way.
Oh, me-thinks I must be rambling.........
There comes a time in every one's life, be it male or female...when choices are made. Who's kidding who? Is there ever a time when man and woman will intrinsically understand
each other and the impact they have on each other? Can most people just be themselves? Or is that too terrifying to consider?
How many people out there (in that big cruel yet wondeful world)
live their life REALLY know Who and What they are? And remain
that person? Who live a life (sexually and/or romantically) exactly by choice? I, as a female..refuse to compromise. I am, I said.
And I meant it.
I have been celibate...and not. I love the joy of sex and yet, in the past I have chosen celibacy. Because...at that time in my life,
it's what was needed. To distance myself. To place my energies elsewhere. And it worked! And yet, I am a social, sexual gregarious woman. But never have I played a game (deliberately or not) because I am a CONSCIOUS woman. I chose the lovers in my life. I have never let a man chase me 'till I caught him. That seems so utterly ...hmmm...insulting somehow. I do agree that women AND men are somehow...conditioned to "play the hands they're given". Who conditioned whom? I submit...We do it to each other. Just as a conversation needs two speakers.
I have never blamed a man for pain(s) inflicted. It was my choice to feel the pain after all. And to feel the joy(s) too. I, Rashid... will never live my life on autopilot. (It would be oh-so-boring) that way.
Oh, me-thinks I must be rambling.........
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