Shy Tall Guy
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Aug 24, 2001
- Posts
- 5,735
Re: new strands keep the thread going...
I would have to say communication problems are the reason my marriage failed. I could not communicate on just about any level, and my wife had many hidden problems I did not know about until many years later when we both finally learned to communicate - but too late (we had been divorced for some time already).
My communication problems were due in part to how I was raised, but mostly due to some problem with my brain as far as being able to verbalize what I wanted to say; I said very little until I was 6 years old. It was/is probably a factor in my shyness. I have learned to communicate verbally now - it took some decades to get to that point, and now I ramble on as over compensation.
But good communication is more than just verbalizing - it is being able to listen and comprehend what is being said. My relationship with my ex-wife improved greatly when I learned to just shut up and listen, even if very little of substance was being said. She just wanted to have someone listen to her, not really seeking solutions to problems she had, but just to listen in sympathy.
A very good book on the *typical* differences between male and female communication forms is "You just don't understand" and "That's not what I meant!" by Deborah Tannen. These are not just some more pop psych books - Tannen is a linguistics professor and her insights into verbal communication are really helpful.
STG
Unregistered said:As we all know, women like to talk (about every damn thing), so when you can talk the talk the rest is easy.
I would have to say communication problems are the reason my marriage failed. I could not communicate on just about any level, and my wife had many hidden problems I did not know about until many years later when we both finally learned to communicate - but too late (we had been divorced for some time already).
My communication problems were due in part to how I was raised, but mostly due to some problem with my brain as far as being able to verbalize what I wanted to say; I said very little until I was 6 years old. It was/is probably a factor in my shyness. I have learned to communicate verbally now - it took some decades to get to that point, and now I ramble on as over compensation.
But good communication is more than just verbalizing - it is being able to listen and comprehend what is being said. My relationship with my ex-wife improved greatly when I learned to just shut up and listen, even if very little of substance was being said. She just wanted to have someone listen to her, not really seeking solutions to problems she had, but just to listen in sympathy.
A very good book on the *typical* differences between male and female communication forms is "You just don't understand" and "That's not what I meant!" by Deborah Tannen. These are not just some more pop psych books - Tannen is a linguistics professor and her insights into verbal communication are really helpful.
STG
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