What are your darkest fears?

[JMohegan]

I hang with people who intellectually understand this. But I haven't met any bodhisattvas who hold it perpetually in their minds under all duress yet.

I see an enormous difference between immediate fear, of the "oh my god the bridge is collapsing and I'm falling into the Mississippi River!" kind, and a generalized fear of bridges or catastrophes overall.

 

[Netzach]

I see an enormous difference between immediate fear, of the "oh my god the bridge is collapsing and I'm falling into the Mississippi River!" kind, and a generalized fear of bridges or catastrophes overall.

True that.

I've never had a second's concern driving over a bridge in my life.

Till about a week ago going over the Hennepin Ave bridge was....weird. Not terrifying, but weird. I think every single person in my vicinity felt the same driving over that.

Once the unthinkable opens up, people suddenly sprout fears that are possibly illogical to the rest of the world, but rooted in their logic as people who have seen and heard things that challenge the reality of the mainstream.

 

[somberReality]

My greatest fear is drowning, as in drowing in water.

I used to have a fear about being alone, but that's not the case anymore, due to real life situations making me face this fear.

I consider myself a sub, but only in the bedroom. Everywhere else is fair game for me.

 

[graceanne]

For the life of me, I can't understand why people would talk about their darkest fears in a public forum. I wouldn't want people to have the much power over me.

But in the level just above my darkest fears is?

Losing my colon.

Heights (I'm like hm on this one, I get vertigo standing on chairs.)

Bridges

Planes

Water I can't see through (like the ocean, most lakes, sometimes the river . . .)

The sound of the toilet flushing in the middle of the night (don't ask me why)

Losing my kids, or not living until they're adults

mild claustrophobia

centipedes

. . . their's probably other things, but they aren't coming to mind.

 

[graceanne]

I see an enormous difference between immediate fear, of the "oh my god the bridge is collapsing and I'm falling into the Mississippi River!" kind, and a generalized fear of bridges or catastrophes overall.

Know what freaks me out? How bridges tip when they turn. I just know, someday, that my car is gonna slide off. *shudders*

 

[JMohegan]

True that.

I've never had a second's concern driving over a bridge in my life.

Till about a week ago going over the Hennepin Ave bridge was....weird. Not terrifying, but weird. I think every single person in my vicinity felt the same driving over that.

Once the unthinkable opens up, people suddenly sprout fears that are possibly illogical to the rest of the world, but rooted in their logic as people who have seen and heard things that challenge the reality of the mainstream.

True, and this highlights a distinction I see between two reactions to tragedy.

In many cases, the reaction to "the unthinkable" may be to broaden and intensify fears. (See U.S., post 9/11.)

In other, more extreme cases, the generalized type of fear just disappears overall.

 

[JMohegan]

Know what freaks me out? How bridges tip when they turn. I just know, someday, that my car is gonna slide off. *shudders*

Physics says no, that won't happen!

 

[HottieMama]

i totally forgot about my fear of bridges... i have to close my eyes when i ride over one...and i white knuckle the steering wheel if i am the one driving.

 

[FurryFury]

I hang with people who intellectually understand this. But I haven't met any bodhisattvas who hold it perpetually in their minds under all duress yet. I lost my best childhood friend to a car wreck when she was 19. I'm amazed at how her mom, one of our few family friends, has accepted and held up, and gone on -- as much as anyone could ever have. I don't think that changes her momentary lurch of fear if her younger daughter shows up an hour late or her reaction of fear if she were to get seriously ill. Understandings notwithstanding.

The people that I know who have survived the loss of one or more children possess such courage I am in awe. Of course I understand that there is little choice other than going on, but my heart says this is heroism. My heart and my admiration goes to them.

 

[BiaTcHiNFiRe]

We have a river in my town which i fear alot. God knows why, i just do. I had nightmares about me drowing in that river for more than 10 years now, i saw myself drowing in it on million possible ways, so when i go around the river i always have the scared feeling in me and i really hate when my man taking my little girl to the river.

Once we had a big flowage over here and my man didnt have any better idea than take our girl there to watch that flooded river, let her sit on the stone like 2 meters from it and record it with cam. Then he came home and showed me how terible wild the flooded river was and how he let our girl sit so near it...no need to say i was mad like hell in seconds when i saw that vid.

Firstly cuz i really fear that river. And secondly cuz she could so easily slip on the wet ground and fall into that river omfg!

From my side of view it was just idiotic to took her there. She was 5 years old and she's very wild outside, always runing around etc ya know. It wasn't really smart to take her there. People was afraid of that river in their homes and my man took her right to the source.....I hate when he does things like this :/

When we arguing about this he always tells me "so what, she will fall down from the tree and next time she will be more carefull". And yes thats true, thing is he let her do things in which she could fail just once-then she would be death. Like if she fall into that flooded river-she would be gone.

He have too high expectations on her due to her age, so anytime he takes her out i worry what the hell they doing together this time.

Few dayz ago he told my 6 yr old girl they will go climb the cliffs together... I told him NO, you fuking wont!! and he wont, i wont alowe that. He can go and do any dumb thing he wants, but my girl deffo wont be part of it.

Sad thing is my girl loves that, she loves to do all the crazy things with her dad. She see it as exciting, i see it just as very dangerous and stupid due to her age. Well thats why we don't go out with our girl together. We arguing too much if i go with them cuz what my man sees as fun i see often see as danger, so better if i just don't see it LOL.

I have lots of issues with my man cuz of this. Maybe i am scared of my lil girl way too much, but i really think our kids deserve all the protect we can give them. My man makes me feel he just taking her into dangerous situations, i hate that.

 

[graceanne]

Physics says no, that won't happen!

Physics schmysics. Murphy's Law was invented with me in mind. If anyone can slide off that bridge, it'd be me.

 

[northwoods_sub]

Deepest fears....

1. my children dying. I was once told that if anything ever happened to my boys that it would just be necessary to lock me up because I would never be able to live with myself with out them.

2. my dying before my kids were able to take care of themselves. I have always been a protector, nurturing type of person, I can not imagine not being there for them.

Lesser fears include heights, to a point, I can handle ladders and ferris wheels (as long as it is not swaying, in that case I start to panic and cry), but what really freaks me out is high bridges over water. A number of years ago I went to the Florida keys with my ex, driving over those bridges was the most horrible experience I have ever had to experience. I was absolutely positive that we were going to somehow crash and fly over the edge of the bridge into the ocean and die.
Don't like spiders, but I can usually deal with them and I guess I most irrational fear would have to be of the dark. Any time I have to walk through a completely dark area (basement, out of a dark room) I know that there is someone or something waiting to grab me, just watching and waiting. There are still nights when I have to jump into bed from a distance when the room is dark so that whatever is under the bed won't grab my ankles.
I am getting the heeby jeebies just thinking about it.

Oh by the way, in case you all didn't know I am a submissive/masochist.

 

[Evil_Geoff]

My darkest fear?

That the beast within me will loose the fetters I have it bound by, and that I will becoming the nightmare I have feared all my life, the next Ted Bundy, or Jeffery Dahmer, or Edward James Robinson...

 

[incubus'_sub]

Now that's interesting EG, because I'm sure Incubus Dark has the same thought. Perhaps it's a fear relatively common in sadists who are given to dark, nasty & vicious fantasies, but are also in reality caring, loving people.

 

[tanijaana]

Death used to be my deepest fear, but now I am sort of looking forward to it. Not because I am depressed and want to stop living, but because I love new experiences and I consider death to be the ultimate transition.

Right now, hornets are one of my deepest fears. I got attacked by them last summer and they are one of two things guaranteed to send me into a screaming fit. The other is so private that not even my partner knows it exists.

 

[Homburg]

My darkest fear?

That the beast within me will loose the fetters I have it bound by, and that I will becoming the nightmare I have feared all my life, the next Ted Bundy, or Jeffery Dahmer, or Edward James Robinson...

Christ, I hadn't thought about that one. *nervous laugh*

Sometimes it's like a tightly coiled spring deep within me, straining to get out. Not all the time, but there are times I can feel it. Scares the hell out of me. I avoid certain situations like the plague when I feel that way.

 

[Netzach]

Now that's interesting EG, because I'm sure Incubus Dark has the same thought. Perhaps it's a fear relatively common in sadists who are given to dark, nasty & vicious fantasies, but are also in reality caring, loving people.

I have these, but I don't have this issue, really. And I thought it's girls who are supposed to suck at compartmentalization. It boils down to - I have that fucker reined in. Civilization basically functions like this. There really aren't THAT many of us who are going to go all Lord of the Flies while the capacity exists in all of us. Certainly, if you are WORRYING about it, you're not a candidate.

Nope. While this worry is more badass that getting on a flight to Chicago, it's not a biggie for me.

 

[nickollette]

im not quite sure what i am yet, ill say sub since i tend to follow those lines more happily.

i hate spiders, im scared to death of them, no matter how big or small.

and in a weird way, clowns terrify me, but can also pass as a turn on.

 

[doveofserenity]

Doms, subs, switches and those unclassifiable or whom refuse to be classified,

What are your darkest fear? Which of them do you consider irrational and which are rational? Are any of them hold overs from childhood and are do you think any are true phobias?

Please mention whether you think of yourself as dom, sub, switch or something else in your answer.

i am a submissive.

Has 2 darkest fears. One is physical, and that is of snakes. Had a boa constrictor dropped around my neck by a supposed friend once, screamed bloody murder and yanked it off before it could get a grip and thru it against a brick wall, killing it. And it is a true phobia. i see one now, i still scream and run the other way.

The 2nd is emotional. i fear dying alone. i need someone to be by my side, so i know someone cares.

 

[Penalt]

I'm Dominant with some switch.

I have two uber fears. They are pretty much two aspects of the same thing.

Infinity and Eternity

Gods, its hard just to type about them. I have to keep my mind blank right now or I'll trigger an anxiety attack. Weird, huh? I actually had to give up studying cosmology because of the anxiety attacks it would give me. I'm talking gasping for breath, shouting, hitting things in desperation, cold sweat anxiety attacksWhich really sucks because I really, really love sci-fi, space and space technologies.

 

[Netzach]

I'm Dominant with some switch.

I have two uber fears. They are pretty much two aspects of the same thing.

Infinity and Eternity

Gods, its hard just to type about them. I have to keep my mind blank right now or I'll trigger an anxiety attack. Weird, huh? I actually had to give up studying cosmology because of the anxiety attacks it would give me. I'm talking gasping for breath, shouting, hitting things in desperation, cold sweat anxiety attacksWhich really sucks because I really, really love sci-fi, space and space technologies.

This is probably the most rational fear I've ever heard anyone cop to.

 

[rachy91]

Fears?

I havent posted in while been finding it boring, yawn

Im a submissive, newly exploring the exciting world of bdsm, although i might stay away from the sm, bit scared of pain? i guess i dunno

I have a fear of Spiders, big or small they creep me out!!

Hate sharks, scared and scared of crabs!! when i was a t a beach, (1770, qld, really nice ) there were all these soldier crabs, which are probably about 8-15cm long, quite big, and i ran down to hte beach and stood there then realised i was standing in the midst of close to millions! of them (seemed like millions ) and then they started crawling over me so yea


Bye for now, Not forever, Rach

 

[Homburg]

I'm Dominant with some switch.

I have two uber fears. They are pretty much two aspects of the same thing.

Infinity and Eternity

Gods, its hard just to type about them. I have to keep my mind blank right now or I'll trigger an anxiety attack. Weird, huh?

Not weird at all. You know how people have those what if conversations? "What would you do if you lived forever?" came up. My answer - "Kill myself".

I don't want to face either.

 

[littleone77]

I tend to be a bit paranoid...

1- Dying alone.
2-I hate fire. And no, I do not toast marshmellows.
3-That I am making the biggest mistake of my life and one day I will meet up with a serial killer.
4-He won't be coming back...Most recent to my list~
5-Rape

Oh yes, and I also sleep with a night light.

 

[shy slave]

I am a submissive

Real, toe curling fears..

1) My sons will die before i do.

2) My sons will look back on their childhood and decide that all of it sucked.

My absolute fear is that people tell me things to humour me. Therefore I find compliments make me feel guilty, sad and very, very upset.

I cannot accept that anyone would think me clever or beautiful

I fear that they will say this as a build up to 'but...' or as a pre-rejection sentence, to make the break off easier

My Master has made me cry more by telling me how beautiful etc I am than He ever has using any toy on me.

RR said he fears abandonment, I accept that I probably deserve to be abandoned and fear someone staying because they feel they ought to, not because they want to .

What a thread, what a difference a few years make.

My darkest fear came true.
Other dark fears that are written here have also come true.

Yet, I am still here.
Still upright, and still those fears remain.
Facing them does not lessen them, it has just made me see how dark they were.

Gracie is not someone I would associate with having superstitions, yet in her post she speaks of giving power to people by voicing the darkest of fears.
I think I can see what she means, how by voicing them it could give others power. For example to play mind games with you, but that does make me think of warding off things through superstistions and lucky charms.

I don't think it gives the actual fears power, theoretically it should lessen the power; a bit like counselling, when you start to speak of something it starts to have a more realistic perspective.

Yet, by speaking out, perhaps it also re-dresses a little of the balance connected with the fear.
Having a dark fear occur can take power from such a fear, or, it can confirm just how much of a fear it was, and is.

I don't think when I wrote this post I had any premonition of what would happen, it is just one of 1,000's of my ramblings.

It is strange how much of it has now happened, and yet I still have the same basic fears.
I am stronger in relationships thanks to facing some fears, that is a good thing (I think). Yes, I still worry someone is with me because they feel they ought to be; but I care less about it. If they do, that is there issue, not mine. They are making themselves unhappy through no fault of my actions. They can either tell me and we can work at it, they can leave and find someone who fulfils them or they can stay and be miserable. I will not take on their misery again. I have done that more than once, but no more.
Facing fears has made me a harder person, yet facing the worst of my fears has also changed me beyond my own understanding.
Good or bad, it is who I am now.

Of course in the intervening years from this first post I now have other fears, such is life!!

PS: I guess it is bad form to quote your own posts, but actually I feel like being a rebel, just for tonight lol