What do you think dominants want in an online forum?

[WriterDom]

To learn. To laugh. To see naked subs. To pimp my blog.

I haven't used it as a dating service. Just not that many subs in my neck of the woods. I have met two incredible women here. And the list of both women and men I'd like to meet would be pretty long. If it closed tomorrow I'd be sad but life would go on.

 

[shy slave]

yes I am sure that some dominants would like nothing better than to be deleted.

LOL

I am sure there are several submissives who would volunteer!

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

That's my point, theyre not really subs, theyre passive-aggressive posers. A real sub will not take on a real dominant.

 

[A Desert Rose]

That's my point, theyre not really subs, theyre passive-aggressive posers. A real sub will not take on a real dominant.

Thanks.

Now I have that stupid song in my head... you know the one?... TAKE ON ME

oops... i misread your post, but still...


aaaaaaaahahahhahahaha... real sub?... real Dom? Too funny.

 

[GentleSub_Ivy]

I haven't been in enough forums or around here long enough to speak from a generalized point of view regarding Dom type A, Dom type B, etc. However, I've been involved with 2 lovely Doms from Lit. The first has never made any post here but answered my now defunct personal ad. He was looking for an online sub not an online community per se. He isn't really an online community type of guy. He was quietly looking for what he wanted.

The 2nd Dom was here for the same reason I was; as an outlet away from our vanilla lives. It turned out that we became much better friends than anything else as D/s wasn't in the stars for us. He is no longer here at lit. So, I guess they both just tried their luck at finding what they were looking for.

Like others said. It really is an individual thing. Some want a community they feel comfortable in, an outlet from vanilla or an outlet from real life stresses in general. Interesting question though.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

ADR

You know what I mean. They put on the gorilla suit and think theyre a monkey.

 

[coy_one]

Really, I don't come because I'm a Top or to be a Top, I just happen to be a Top. I came here because I needed to have some sort of BDSM connection in my otherwise vanilla life. What I found here is a place that is alive in so many ways that I have come to feel at home here - friends, connection, fun, stretching conversations, education, acceptance, silliness, available 24/7.

That is why I stay.

Shank

This is exactly why I come here. I needed the connection.

 

[A Desert Rose]

ADR

You know what I mean. They put on the gorilla suit and think theyre a monkey.

The un-reals are everywhere, doll. They're on myspace pages - pedophiles, for instance. They're at other forums looking for wank material. The un-real people are not just here at Lit.

And since I know so few here anymore, I have no idea who's un-real and who's not. And guess what? I don't waste time trying to figure it out.

People are people... however they define themselves or masquerade or whatever. The only ones I concern myself with are the ones I already know and count as friends.

And to answer the topic question... they come here for wank material. what else is there?

aaaaaaaaahahhahahaha!!!!

 

[CutieMouse]

*****

 

[A Desert Rose]

I can't help it...

Please explain your "take on a real Dominant" comment?

Honestly - in an online community where the silly formality of speaking of oneself in the third person and groveling at the cyber-feet of anyone who announces themselves to be dominant isn't expected or encouraged, how do you expect submissive posters to interact with the community?

I see it a lot more at the CollarMe boards than here... women who beg forgiveness for even starting threads, or ask pardon for posting in the "Masters Forum", or always use the lower case/speak of themselves in the third person/act like frightened little birds rather than capable human beings who are also submissive. I find that behaviour far less submissive than politely speaking one's mind...

Next time you "can't help it", contact me first, ok?


;-D

 

[CutieMouse]

*****

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

CUTIEMOUSE

Shrews are what I see on this board. Shrill, naggy, scolding females. They do their best to dominate the debate. And their aggression isnt congruent with what they claim to be.

The behavior may be a conditioned response to get spanked, I dont know. I suspect it is. But getting your ass paddled is an appetite, not the hallmark of submission. Its simply gluttony for punishment.

 

[BiBunny]

CUTIEMOUSE

Shrews are what I see on this board. Shrill, naggy, scolding females. They do their best to dominate the debate. And their aggression isnt congruent with what they claim to be.

Methinks the fellow doth protest too much.

 

[Netzach]

Jesus on toast, if you like verbal smackdown that much just get in line with the rest of them. The rest of you, quit handing out freebies to the seriously desperate. There's only one pussy pissant around here with no idea what it is who wears it that prominently.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

NETNAZI

Put me back on IGNORE, please?

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

BI

You think? Really? Starting when?

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

I wrote this song for CUTIEMOUSE

I DONT LOVE YOU, BUT THE PROZAC MAKES ME STAY.

Take these chains from my head and let me flee.
Youve grown old and no longer appeal to me.
All my lust for you is gone but my guilt lingers on
Unlock these shackles in my head and set me free.

Make the prozac in my mind go far away
I'm so bored of listenin' to what it has to say.
I have found somebody new, someone who I wanna screw;
Take these cuffs off my thoughts and let me be.

I'm so tired of being sweet, its a pity.
You're not hot and your ass is flabby.
You know I no longer care, so don't just stand there
Flush the prozac down the drain, and let me be.

Release my mind from this straight-jacket of chemistry.
Youve grown old and no longer do a lot for me.
All my lust for you is gone but my conscience lingers on
Unbind the ropes from my life and set me free.

 

[graceanne]

*sigh* C'mon people.

DON'T FEED THE TROLLS!

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

GRACIE youre just jealous of my song writing talent.

I'm writing a song for you, too...it has a Barbra Streisand flavor, I call it SECOND HAND HO's

 

[graceanne]

GRACIE youre just jealous of my song writing talent.

I'm writing a song for you, too...it has a Barbra Streisand flavor, I call it SECOND HAND HO's

Oh, yeah. I wanna be just like you when I grow up.

 

[JMohegan]

What are some of the things you believe dominants want or like about being part of an online community? Why do you think a dominant would choose to be a part of or particpate in an online community?

Conversely what things do you think would tend to cause the reverse effect of this as well?

Because I'm a fairly active guy, and due to the inherent drawbacks of online communication, most of my social interaction takes place in RL - where my preference is usually for mixed interaction, i.e., social events involving both kinky and non-kinky friends.

For me, the biggest positive of online communication is the speed and convenience. I can pop on when I have a minute or two free, and then pop off. To leave you this message, I don't have to worry about interrupting you when you're eating dinner, helping your kids with their homework, etc. We can have an entire conversation (albeit in slow motion!) without aligning schedules or picking a time & place.

The primary drawback to online communication is the absence of audio & visual clues. It's ridiculously easy to misunderstand and/or to be misunderstood.

Comparing Lit as a BDSM-focused venue to RL BDSM-focused venues, I'd say that two benefits to Lit are the absence of protocol expectations and the relative absence of roleplay in all but an easily-avoided group of threads.

In RL venues organized by BDSM aficionados for BDSM aficionados, I have found that it's really hard to avoid Dominants who refer to themselves as something like "Sir Spectacular" (and behave accordingly) and submissives who behave in a cloyingly deferential way to multiple non-partners, simply because they ID on the Top side.

To me, the atmosphere in RL BDSM-focused events can sometimes feel like a very odd form of group roleplay. Hard to describe, but bizarre to experience if group roleplay isn't really your thing.

 

[BiBunny]

Comparing Lit as a BDSM-focused venue to RL BDSM-focused venues, I'd say that two benefits to Lit are the absence of protocol expectations and the relative absence of roleplay in all but an easily-avoided group of threads.

I agree with this, and it's part of the definite charm of Lit, in my opinion. Posturing in the form of "protocol" irritates me. In the end, we're all people with equally valid opinions. *Shrug*

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

JMOHEGAN

The problem is so much of what goes on is contrived, like pretending a dwarf is 6-5 or whatever....or a dumfuck pretending to be Einstein. Roleplaying is exactly what it is.

 

[graceanne]

JMOHEGAN

The problem is so much of what goes on is contrived, like pretending a dwarf is 6-5 or whatever....or a dumfuck pretending to be Einstein. Roleplaying is exactly what it is.

LOL You'd know a lot about dumfucks pretending to be Einstein wouldn't you? After all the time you've spent in a psych ward.

 

[JMohegan]

I agree with this, and it's part of the definite charm of Lit, in my opinion. Posturing in the form of "protocol" irritates me. In the end, we're all people with equally valid opinions. *Shrug*

From my point of view, the inherent insincerity of deference based on nothing more than knowledge that someone ID's as Dominant is really, really offputting.

There's no value to me in respect that hasn't been earned, and frankly I lose respect very quickly for those who offer it without good cause.

Good cause for respect, in my book, is character based. It has absolutely nothing to do with sexual preference or the role I choose in intimate relationships.