What exactly turns you on about your wife or girlfriend being with another man? Past or Present?

[Shaglus_Ziegler]

Would be very intriguing. I fantasize often about my wife’s past and about possibilities.

 

[artgorden]

I like sucking a dick with her cum on it

 

[Nellie60]

Would be very intriguing. I fantasize often about my wife’s past and about possibilities.

And if she can tell during your lovemaking what she's experienced and arouses her.....a real turn on

 

[Biologyguy]

She will be here Saturday

Shes coming to my place this weekend, want to chat?

 

[Biologyguy]

My wife and I never screwed around. Talked about "swapping" in the 70s, but never did.

But now as an old widower, I've been lucky enough to find a completely uninhibited FWB. Being able to talk back and forth about fucking others is absolutely liberating! No sense of cheating or being cheated on--we encourage each other and dish like high school besties! And then enjoy our naked selves with each other! Planning to head to a nudist lifestyle club if we can both find our way past old-person limits at the same time!

We can talk this weekend

 

[Nellie60]

And if she can tell during your lovemaking what she's experienced and arouses her.....a real turn on

After reading the posts here, I now believe that the real turn when we guys think about what turns us on is watching her pleasuring another man and her getting off on doing so. And him getting off on experiencing another man's girl.

 

[Biologyguy]

After reading the posts here, I now believe that the real turn when we guys think about what turns us on is watching her pleasuring another man and her getting off on doing so. And him getting off on experiencing another man's girl.

Intriguing

 

[Biologyguy]

Idk intriguing. Would be first time.

 

[Nellie60]

Idk intriguing. Would be first time.

From a bio point of view, what's your take on this?

 

[Nellie60]

Its only been one occasion for me but the rest remains a fantasy. I just loved seeing the interaction between her and other guy and the desire in his eyes when he first saw her plus how excited she was during the act. The desire I had for her afterwards was incredible.

So all this fantasy and some real all stemmed mainly from watching this particular ex make out with this random stranger and then finish this guy off with her hand.

 

[IronCross]

We never experienced it but oftentimes when she was on top of me I'd ask "Who's cock you ridin', babe ?" Usually she replied "Your's" but when she realized that I found the thought of her fucking another man to be a turn on for me, one time she replied "Who's do you want it to be ?" so I know she would have if we decided to pursue it.

As regards your question, for me it's knowing that she's indulging her sexual pleasure with another man and digging every minute of it. Her knowing that she was shamelessly being "bad" and revelling in it. Her pleasure was also my pleasure.

Some might agree, some might disagree, but I honestly believe that inside every woman, there's a "bad girl" craving release. Wanting to express her indulgent sexuality freely without judgement or constraint. A woman allowed and encouraged to indulge herself in bed is a woman who will show her man just how amazing she can be. I guess some guys prefer their women to be subservient, to each their own, but my preference is to let her express her sexuality in ways that please her and in so doing, that pleases me.

 

[Nellie60]

We never experienced it but oftentimes when she was on top of me I'd ask "Who's cock you ridin', babe ?" Usually she replied "Your's" but when she realized that I found the thought of her fucking another man to be a turn on for me, one time she replied "Who's do you want it to be ?" so I know she would have if we decided to pursue it.

As regards your question, for me it's knowing that she's indulging her sexual pleasure with another man and digging every minute of it. Her knowing that she was shamelessly being "bad" and revelling in it. Her pleasure was also my pleasure.

Some might agree, some might disagree, but I honestly believe that inside every woman, there's a "bad girl" craving release. Wanting to express her indulgent sexuality freely without judgement or constraint. A woman allowed and encouraged to indulge herself in bed is a woman who will show her man just how amazing she can be. I guess some guys prefer their women to be subservient, to each their own, but my preference is to let her express her sexuality in ways that please her and in so doing, that pleases me.

Nicely answered and so be it. Her pleasure is your pleasure but her pleasing is also your pleasure..

 

[Robert160]

Several things:

To watch her be cum inside at her risky time
To watch her cumming while being screwed (toe curling is her sign shes about to or cumming)
To jack off on her face while the guy screws her
To watch his cock twitch and pulse as it pumps his cum into her
To see her on her back, legs spread wide, tits moving back/fourth with every stroke
To hear her asking him to go easy as she struggles to accommodate his cock

 

[write_or_wrong]

We never experienced it but oftentimes when she was on top of me I'd ask "Who's cock you ridin', babe ?" Usually she replied "Your's" but when she realized that I found the thought of her fucking another man to be a turn on for me, one time she replied "Who's do you want it to be ?" so I know she would have if we decided to pursue it.

As regards your question, for me it's knowing that she's indulging her sexual pleasure with another man and digging every minute of it. Her knowing that she was shamelessly being "bad" and revelling in it. Her pleasure was also my pleasure.

Some might agree, some might disagree, but I honestly believe that inside every woman, there's a "bad girl" craving release. Wanting to express her indulgent sexuality freely without judgement or constraint. A woman allowed and encouraged to indulge herself in bed is a woman who will show her man just how amazing she can be. I guess some guys prefer their women to be subservient, to each their own, but my preference is to let her express her sexuality in ways that please her and in so doing, that pleases me.

Well said, thank you. I'm enjoying this thread, thank you Nellie60 for starting it.

One aspect that I still find to be counterintuitive: how can a husband have an urge to see or find out about his wife's infidelity, when so much of the animal kingdom behaves exactly the opposite? Males fight each other for mating rights. Alphas guard their females to prevent any other males from impregnating them. Sometimes a male bear will even kill the offspring from another male. Even the shape of some penises (including human) facilitates pumping out foreign semen. Some birds, and maybe other creatures, actually suck out any foreign sperm. Given all that aversion to anything related to infidelity in the animal world, why do some of us human males promote it and even celebrate it when it happens? (full disclosure: I'm right there with you guys who do.)

 

[Swuq]

Her being a cum slut for man that may a larger cock and her enjoying being used by him in ways she wouldn’t allow me.

 

[ladventures1]

I have only been with my husband since we were married, but he has told me he enjoys the fantasy of me with another man. Mainly, we roleplay about me
with my ex-lovers, but occasionally I will tell him about how I want to have sex with someone new. He says he likes to hear what turns me on outside of our relationship, and he loves hearing about times in my past when I dropped my inhibitions and did something because I was so turned on I couldn’t stop myself.

The moment he was turned on the most was at my brother’s wedding, when one of my brother’s groomsmen was dancing with me. My husband knew that years earlier, this guy had been the first man who ever came in my mouth. Watching him with his hands on me again, really got my husband excited. We still roleplay about it.

“What if he took you to a secluded room after the dance? Would you be on your knees again for him?”

 

[nutoseen]

There's lot of guys out there who write about their wives etc with other men. What exactly turns you on about it?

A fetish being realised? Actually watching her?
Knowing what she's really like and imagining her giving and receiving the same with someone else? Feeling submissive about it?

For me its sort of erotic knowing what she like and watching her let go the same way with another man. ie seeing her display what turns her on. And knowing that she very desirable to other men who now have the pleasure that I have experienced.

Cum on let me know!

my woman got to have others cock sizes; i found this/that hot. imagining her cum face with them. knowing how quick she cums as a different size slides in. so hot.

 

[Nellie60]

I have only been with my husband since we were married, but he has told me he enjoys the fantasy of me with another man. Mainly, we roleplay about me
with my ex-lovers, but occasionally I will tell him about how I want to have sex with someone new. He says he likes to hear what turns me on outside of our relationship, and he loves hearing about times in my past when I dropped my inhibitions and did something because I was so turned on I couldn’t stop myself.

The moment he was turned on the most was at my brother’s wedding, when one of my brother’s groomsmen was dancing with me. My husband knew that years earlier, this guy had been the first man who ever came in my mouth. Watching him with his hands on me again, really got my husband excited. We still roleplay about it.

“What if he took you to a secluded room after the dance? Would you be on your knees again for him?”

That's fricking hot. Do you tell your husband about other details? I can imagine the role-playing gets him off and for you the same? Or are just pleasing him?

 

[ladventures1]

That's fricking hot. Do you tell your husband about other details? I can imagine the role-playing gets him off and for you the same? Or are just pleasing him?

He likes it more than I do. I get excited at the start, when we are using the roleplay as foreplay. And I enjoy that it gets my husband excited. But sometimes, when we are deep into sex, and he says something like - “Is this the way your ex …?” - it breaks my mood.

At those moments, I feel close to my husband at and I don’t really want to think about something from years ago.

I have more fun with it when it is complete fantasy. When I tease my husband about someone who flirts with me, but who I have no real intimacy with. Then it feels like play. Sometimes it gets too real with past relationships.

 

[Nellie60]

He likes it more than I do. I get excited at the start, when we are using the roleplay as foreplay. And I enjoy that it gets my husband excited. But sometimes, when we are deep into sex, and he says something like - “Is this the way your ex …?” - it breaks my mood.

At those moments, I feel close to my husband at and I don’t really want to think about something from years ago.

I have more fun with it when it is complete fantasy. When I tease my husband about someone who flirts with me, but who I have no real intimacy with. Then it feels like play. Sometimes it gets too real with past relationships.

Thank you so much for the honest thoughts.

Completely understand when lovemaking you are focused on that person and it just spoils the moment.

But I am biased understanding what he's thinking. It turns him on knowing what you maybe like with other men and that men find you attractive based on the past and being able to role play that must be exciting for him.

And I can see the fantasy scenarios can be more exciting then the reality in those moments.

 

[write_or_wrong]

He likes it more than I do. I get excited at the start, when we are using the roleplay as foreplay. And I enjoy that it gets my husband excited. But sometimes, when we are deep into sex, and he says something like - “Is this the way your ex …?” - it breaks my mood.

At those moments, I feel close to my husband at and I don’t really want to think about something from years ago.

I have more fun with it when it is complete fantasy. When I tease my husband about someone who flirts with me, but who I have no real intimacy with. Then it feels like play. Sometimes it gets too real with past relationships.

Thank you! I'm a guy, so this will also be a self-indictment.

Your answer confirms something I finally learned after being with many ladies over my many years. Women make love with their hearts and minds, while men have sex with their dicks. Not everyone, and not all the time, but it's generally true. A man can't help thinking with (and about) his dick. It's in our wiring. From the moment we discover "that thing down there" we can't leave it alone and we can't stop thinking about what we might be able to do with it. Pretty soon our natural competitiveness leads us to think about the dicks other guys have. And that sets off the frantic search for the nearest ruler. Or, in this case, the experiences a woman we're with might have had with the penis attached to another guy.

I doubt there are very many women who ever wonder what another woman's pussy looks like. It's just not important to them because they're thinking much deeper than that. No woman has ever asked me if she was tighter than my ex was, or if she tasted better than my ex, or had more/less/better pubic hair, etc. It's just not a thing for ladies like it is for us guys.

 

[IronCross]

Well said, thank you. I'm enjoying this thread, thank you Nellie60 for starting it.

One aspect that I still find to be counterintuitive: how can a husband have an urge to see or find out about his wife's infidelity, when so much of the animal kingdom behaves exactly the opposite? Males fight each other for mating rights. Alphas guard their females to prevent any other males from impregnating them. Sometimes a male bear will even kill the offspring from another male. Even the shape of some penises (including human) facilitates pumping out foreign semen. Some birds, and maybe other creatures, actually suck out any foreign sperm. Given all that aversion to anything related to infidelity in the animal world, why do some of us human males promote it and even celebrate it when it happens? (full disclosure: I'm right there with you guys who do.)

I thank you also, Nellie60, for starting this thread.

write_or_wrong...........That's an excellent question and I'd be interested in knowing the answer with certainty, too, but can only guess. Placing we Humans off to the side for a moment, in the rest of the Animal Kingdom, their basic needs are simpler and looking to get what they need, it would seem that their primal intent is directly related to instinct ? Again, just a guess.

We have brains that are able to perceive "concepts" and that may be one reason, for better or worse, that Humankind comes up with concepts for pleasure and sometimes concepts for destruction. The possibilities are endless because we're so "special"...*ahem*......just one look at the news is very telling about just how special we are.........Anyways, that's my best guess but I'm sure there's deeper psychology involved to explain it more fully.

 

[write_or_wrong]

You make a valid point, IronCross. The scope of human brains means we aren't limited by the 'prime directive' to procreate, no matter what. We seem to follow several directives, some of which are hard to figure out. Which I guess brings us back to the OP's question "What exactly turns you on ..." I still don't know. Sorry if I steered us onto a detour.

 

[IronCross]

No apology needed at all. We humans have the ability to exercise "free will" and that applies in a huge variety of situations of course. To be honest, the practice of cuckholding wasn't something I ever thought of during any of my previous relationships before thiss last marriage. In my younger years, if the subject was even brought up, I'd probably have dismissed it with "Nah, not for me". Even in this past relationship, the idea of cuckholding actually caught me by surprise and it was in the latter part of being with her. While we were making love, the thought of her finding pleasure with another man, and that thought being fantasy in my head, it turned me on big time! I gradually brought it up during our dirty talk while having sex and she clearly was on the same page, so we frequently used that while role-playing. Can I explain "why" it turns me on ? For the reasons I offered previously might be considered the surface reasoning, but do I know the exact deeper reason "why" ? Nope. All I know is that it does and in a very big way.

 

[UtilityCurve]

I doubt there are very many women who ever wonder what another woman's pussy looks like. It's just not important to them because they're thinking much deeper than that. No woman has ever asked me if she was tighter than my ex was, or if she tasted better than my ex, or had more/less/better pubic hair, etc. It's just not a thing for ladies like it is for us guys.

Huh. Not every question every time, but my partners have ALWAYS inquired about exes attributes, practices and attitudes, well excepting one-nighters. Isn't that odd?

And it was a check for me about how I felt about each one. Truth could be upsetting, but truth-based is the only kind of LTR I ever wanted. So I could lie to the ones that I suspected weren't keepers and risked it all by telling it straight to the ones that I hoped were.