What have you done in this situation?

[lilylicious]

Save her and yourself now before you become another married guy with a secret lit life.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

This is good advice but I've tried it and it hasn't worked. Could I cajole her into trying it? Maybe, maybe not. But I'm not interested in doing that. As someone above said, at best I'd have a half hearted, disinterested sub (I'm Dom) The point is that I know she's not interested, we've talked about it and she's said no. For me, there's no fun or excitement if your partner's simply not into it.
As for me, I'm well beyond the fuzzy handcuffs and light spanking phase, actually never was there. I'm into medical role play , golden showers and ass play. So, we're operating from completely different points of view. She wants to make love and cuddle, I want to give her an enema and piss on her.

I really can't see any scope for compromise here. I think you're going to have to make the choice between your girl and your kinks. I am here to tell you though that resenting her for not being the sub you would wish her to be will poison your relationship. Either accept her as she is and expect no more or move on. She has every right not to be interested in your perversions, just as you have the right to seek what you feel you need elsewhere.

Sorry I can't be more positive.

 

[purrrrrrr]

Its best to make her break up with you on purpose, it's easier for her and you won't have to feel guilty for breaking her heart. Just try not to make it too obvious so that she knows what you're doing. Be subtle about it, do little things that irritate and turn her off, she might get mad at you but likely won't make a big fuss about it. You're already bored with her, so once the feeling is mutual she'll let you off the hook and you won't have to suffer the wraith of a woman scorned. That's assuming you're man enough to let yourself be the one getting dumped. Some guys would be too worried about their ego or reputation and wouldn't allow it to look like it was their fault.

I would rather be told the truth right out... than someone destroying everything that was good about the relashionship.

 

[iwatmi]

Tie her naked ass up to a sink in the mens shitter at a basketball game and leave her.

 

[AlexSwann]

If your goals and preferences are this much apart then yes, you should definitely end it while the relationship is still young. The more you wait, imo, the more hurt both parties will be. I am in a somewhat similar situation and have been married for 7 years. Belive me, denial is the worst choice you can make. If you know what you want, and she knows what she wants, and you don't want the same things... end it. Don't wait.

 

[tedpower34]

Well if she isn't what you want, then its unfair to drag it out any long than it needs to be ? What more can you do than try and talk to her?

Also if she isn't willing to try things out that interest you... is she really the one ?

 

[LittleKinkyKitten]

Poor dear. I have been in this situation more times than I would like to admit. At this point, I think the BDSM question should be asked ASAP. I have always gotten frustrated very easily with the person and I have to break it off or cheat. The hardest part I have had is explaining the D/s relationship. Most vanilla guys think they can be a Dom just by acting out the motions, but they do not understand everything that goes behind it. Try to avoid dating people who do not have an understanding, it saves so much stress.

 

[bethpage]

Have to agree with KinkyKitten.

What you are interested in goes beyond what most vanilla people would flex to. (I figure that if its in a non-erotica romance, its probably mainstream enough to talk most people into--and there's some really hot, kinky mainstream romance books out there. I've read as many as I could get my hands on. But usually anything to do w/ urine or feces is right out, and blood and anal play is iffy.)

So, say you care but its time to go, and find someone who wants to play your way. It really will avoid a lot of heartache.