Marquis
Jack Dawkins
- Joined
- Jul 9, 2002
- Posts
- 10,462
I think I've become much more observant, accepting and open-minded when it comes to the tremendous variety of submissive personalities. I still run into examples of "submissives" that crack me up, and there is no shortage of them on this forum or in this thread.
That's neither her nor there, however, since I'm not dating anyone in this thread.
However, although most of the submissives I meet-- in whatever communication medium-- do not fall inside a matrix of traits that pairs well with my personal flavor of dominance, I do see a lot of similarities in 99% of people who identify as such. I'll be talking about that a lot more in my case study thread.
On a side note, there is something I find interesting.
The amount of competitiveness about how "true" one is to their role within the BDSM community is sometimes eyepopping. It was partially an exploration of this phenomenon that caused me to start the thread that inspired this one.
At almost any munch you go to, they will begin with everyone introducing themselves by name and orientation. There is always more dominant men and submissive women than any other category. Dominant women tend to introduce themselves as "tops" and submissive men tend to introduce themselves as "switches".
The older the Dominant, the more likely they are to tell you how long they have been in the lifestyle. There is always someone who says, "well, I'm very new, and I'm not really sure, but I think I'm submissive." As soon as she says this, all the Dominants start smiling like Cheshire cats and puffing their chests out. They will speak loudly about any topic to show their alpha status, and make vague implications that any Dominant but themselves is a fraud.
There is always one woman who identifies as a submissive, then tries to commandeer the entire discussion. She will belittle, interrupt and antagonize dominant men in particular. If anyone shows the slightest bit of displeasure at this behavior, she will begin lecturing everyone on how she's not going to kiss every Dom's ass just because she's a sub. The more coquette subs will nod in agreement when their Dom's roll their eyes at this character's boorishness, but in all actuality, this bitch is usually very popular among the subs.
There is always one person, usually heinously unattractive, who will appear to be submiting to everyone at once. More often than not this person is a female, but they may also be an older male. Everyone is "Sir" and "Ma'am" to this individual and he/she is constantly getting up to get people things they never asked for. This person usually expects a lot of compliments and attention and will get very cranky if they don't get it.
There is always one woman, who when it is her turn to tell her name and orientation, will look around the room, pause and say with special emphasis, "My name is Jane Doe, and I am a slave." She will correct anyone who refers to her as a submissive with some meaningless lecture as to the differences, which usually come at the expense of the other submissives ("you just like to submit, I need to submit, its who I am").
There is often a dominant male with a title four or five words long. He is perhaps a "Grand Dragon Master of the House of the Blue Flames." He may be wearing some unusual but somehow official looking attire, with bizarre symbols affixed in various places. Sometimes, he will smile and say proudly that as of last month he is now the "Exalted High Master of the Round Table of Perseus" and everyone will clap while the newbies try not to look too bewildered.
Finally, there is always a young male, attractive, articulate and well composed who is often accompanied by a gorgeous woman or two who appear to show him a tender deference, and he annoys everyone else with his unexpectedly sophisticated knowledge of BDSM acronyms, concepts and the like. At least at every munch I've been to.
That's neither her nor there, however, since I'm not dating anyone in this thread.
However, although most of the submissives I meet-- in whatever communication medium-- do not fall inside a matrix of traits that pairs well with my personal flavor of dominance, I do see a lot of similarities in 99% of people who identify as such. I'll be talking about that a lot more in my case study thread.
On a side note, there is something I find interesting.
The amount of competitiveness about how "true" one is to their role within the BDSM community is sometimes eyepopping. It was partially an exploration of this phenomenon that caused me to start the thread that inspired this one.
At almost any munch you go to, they will begin with everyone introducing themselves by name and orientation. There is always more dominant men and submissive women than any other category. Dominant women tend to introduce themselves as "tops" and submissive men tend to introduce themselves as "switches".
The older the Dominant, the more likely they are to tell you how long they have been in the lifestyle. There is always someone who says, "well, I'm very new, and I'm not really sure, but I think I'm submissive." As soon as she says this, all the Dominants start smiling like Cheshire cats and puffing their chests out. They will speak loudly about any topic to show their alpha status, and make vague implications that any Dominant but themselves is a fraud.
There is always one woman who identifies as a submissive, then tries to commandeer the entire discussion. She will belittle, interrupt and antagonize dominant men in particular. If anyone shows the slightest bit of displeasure at this behavior, she will begin lecturing everyone on how she's not going to kiss every Dom's ass just because she's a sub. The more coquette subs will nod in agreement when their Dom's roll their eyes at this character's boorishness, but in all actuality, this bitch is usually very popular among the subs.
There is always one person, usually heinously unattractive, who will appear to be submiting to everyone at once. More often than not this person is a female, but they may also be an older male. Everyone is "Sir" and "Ma'am" to this individual and he/she is constantly getting up to get people things they never asked for. This person usually expects a lot of compliments and attention and will get very cranky if they don't get it.
There is always one woman, who when it is her turn to tell her name and orientation, will look around the room, pause and say with special emphasis, "My name is Jane Doe, and I am a slave." She will correct anyone who refers to her as a submissive with some meaningless lecture as to the differences, which usually come at the expense of the other submissives ("you just like to submit, I need to submit, its who I am").
There is often a dominant male with a title four or five words long. He is perhaps a "Grand Dragon Master of the House of the Blue Flames." He may be wearing some unusual but somehow official looking attire, with bizarre symbols affixed in various places. Sometimes, he will smile and say proudly that as of last month he is now the "Exalted High Master of the Round Table of Perseus" and everyone will clap while the newbies try not to look too bewildered.
Finally, there is always a young male, attractive, articulate and well composed who is often accompanied by a gorgeous woman or two who appear to show him a tender deference, and he annoys everyone else with his unexpectedly sophisticated knowledge of BDSM acronyms, concepts and the like. At least at every munch I've been to.
