What is your true opinion of "switches"?

[robbie_boy1]

I've run into this problem as far as my bisexuality. People in the gay community have told me that there is no such thing. You're either gay and in denial, or straight and just want to experiment. Needless to say, that annoys me to no end but that's another issue for another forum.

I brought it up to relate to the fact that I've seen this same type of "hostility" towards those of us who claim we are "switches" in the BDSM community. I've already had a potential dates tell me that there's no such thing. I'm just "confused" because I haven't figured out whether I'm a dom or a sub yet.

How do you feel about switches? Especially those of you who have been established in one role for long periods of time? Are switches full just "in denial" about their true roles and too afraid to commit to one or the other? Or is it really possible to be a content switch?

great post, I love to top women and be submissive to men but it has more to do with my likes not with my sexuality...I top women for the most part and bottom for men.......hope that make sense to you.....kisses

r

 

[Killishandra]

To Switch, Or Not To Switch....

I know one RL couple in their 20s who both consider themselves switches... They take turns topping each other.. I tend to think of these types of switches as taking on "top" and "bottom" roles, but not actually being "subs" or "Doms." It seems to me that if you take turns switching with the same person it is more of a sexual turn-on and less of the relationship powerplay that I see D/s as.

Personally, I consider myself a submissive who switches under the right circumstances. I couldn't switch with the same person I am having a relationship with. I need not just a top, but a Dominant. And to switch with Him would undermine the framework that our relationship builds upon.

However, I take on a dominant role around some women. I also take on a subby role with some women. To me, whether I am Dominant or submissive in any sort of interpersonal relationship depends on the person involved. I consider myself an Alpha Sub. Subby to my Dom, but mostly Dom to others.

Does that make me a switch?? who knows, lol.

 

[Never]

Switches aren't real. They're just the product of overactive imagination and/or mind-altering drugs. Any stories about switches come to you via the same route as Elvis, Bigfoot, and UFO sighting.

 

[landcruisergal]

Ok, *big breath, haven't posted for a while* I'm guessing I am a switch.
I have a boy now, who courted me for a few weeks online, and eventually seduced me into trying to top, with his offer of domestic service. He isnt and will never be a sissy boy and I have no desire for one anyway.He's a fit, strapping, country bred, classic aussie male.He works hard and plays hard.
He applied to my Master, we have had restrictions imposed, and after 3 months trial, he has proved to be both a joy and a challenge.I previously had no desire at all to top, but now I find the power trip as much as a rush as endorphins. My Master is relishing hearing of my trials and tribulations, and was amused at my sexual arousal, that was a complete and utter surprise to me.I was just going to "give it a go", dress up sexy and have clean windows.
But having my morning coffee brought to me in bed, then as I woke up slowly, blessed with the sight of a 6'3", muscled 25y/o, lying on my shagpile rug in the sunny gamesroom last week, wearing nothing but collar, cuffs and doc martins...Indulging in some puppy play, leading to some punishments and well earnt rewards.... I do enjoy and value my pup so very much now.
He loves being bound, and I love having him powerless at my feet.He is attentive and grateful for any opportunity to please. He is patient and knows I am still very new to this, but has never mentioned it.He enjoys pain in moderate to heavy doses.
I now have a deeper appreciation of the work and planning involved, the level of responsibility ( I nearly backed out, because he is a such a young lad with a tough guy attitude and high pain threshold, not to mention the psychological issues) Probably more concerned, coming from a submissive position myself, I dont want to damage him in any way.
But I still want to be bound and tormented, used and abused, and give my all to my Master.I am still a pain slut.
Switch? I must be.

 

[Killishandra]

Ok, *big breath, haven't posted for a while* I'm guessing I am a switch.
I have a boy now, who courted me for a few weeks online, and eventually seduced me into trying to top, with his offer of domestic service. He isnt and will never be a sissy boy and I have no desire for one anyway.He's a fit, strapping, country bred, classic aussie male.He works hard and plays hard.
He applied to my Master, we have had restrictions imposed, and after 3 months trial, he has proved to be both a joy and a challenge.I previously had no desire at all to top, but now I find the power trip as much as a rush as endorphins. My Master is relishing hearing of my trials and tribulations, and was amused at my sexual arousal, that was a complete and utter surprise to me.I was just going to "give it a go", dress up sexy and have clean windows.
But having my morning coffee brought to me in bed, then as I woke up slowly, blessed with the sight of a 6'3", muscled 25y/o, lying on my shagpile rug in the sunny gamesroom last week, wearing nothing but collar, cuffs and doc martins...Indulging in some puppy play, leading to some punishments and well earnt rewards.... I do enjoy and value my pup so very much now.
He loves being bound, and I love having him powerless at my feet.He is attentive and grateful for any opportunity to please. He is patient and knows I am still very new to this, but has never mentioned it.He enjoys pain in moderate to heavy doses.
I now have a deeper appreciation of the work and planning involved, the level of responsibility ( I nearly backed out, because he is a such a young lad with a tough guy attitude and high pain threshold, not to mention the psychological issues) Probably more concerned, coming from a submissive position myself, I dont want to damage him in any way.
But I still want to be bound and tormented, used and abused, and give my all to my Master.I am still a pain slut.
Switch? I must be.

Great post! Good luck with your pup... I can totally relate to being dominant with some people and yet relishing the feeling of submission to a SO.\

I think they (who is "they" anyway?) need to come up with different terms for different types of switches, lol.

 

[cellis]

I consider myself a switch, more bottom than top... I loved tying my girl up and spanking her ass. I loved being able to control her during play. That takes nothing away from my submissive nature and who I am.

 

[Miss Melody]

I brought it up to relate to the fact that I've seen this same type of "hostility" towards those of us who claim we are "switches" in the BDSM community. I've already had a potential dates tell me that there's no such thing. I'm just "confused" because I haven't figured out whether I'm a dom or a sub yet.

How do you feel about switches? Especially those of you who have been established in one role for long periods of time? Are switches full just "in denial" about their true roles and too afraid to commit to one or the other? Or is it really possible to be a content switch?

I don't believe in absolutes - life is one big grey area, I like to say. My first scene in the life was done in a submissive role, but I always knew I wanted to Domme someone. I had unfulfilled fantasies I wanted to play out; some as the 24/7 slave, some as the stern Master, some as a willing sub, some as a playful sensuous Domme.

My definition of myself as a switch extends out to all the different ideas I have for my BDSM fantasies. From my imagination and real life, I've written stories of Topping a beautiful woman on a hotel balcony to Domming a sub (client) for a session in the woods to discreet public play with a Dom to living a full out 24/7 slave/Master relationship. All satisfied a part of my psyche that needed to live out a fantasy on either side of the scene to be spiritually fulfilled.

I understand that some say that when you start out playing as a sub, as I did, then that is your true nature. And later on I decide that topping was also part of my true nature. Since I was a sub first and became a Domme later on, I consider myself an S/Switch, sub first/Domme second. And this may change over the years.

Last night I had the best of both worlds; I played a male sub, and an hour later, I was played by a Domme. I was in Topspace for a good half hour after topping him; and it only took me about 20 mins of play to reach subspace after being flogged. The "double space" experience in one evening was interesting, exhiliarating, and spiritually fulfilling for me. And the lack of boredom is another factor - not always thinking of doing the same thing, looking for the same type of people, playing with the same type of toys. I mean if doing that same thing over and over gets you off, fine, but It's just not me.

I get bored easily so I need the constant stimulation of a changing scene from party to party. I need the freedom to go with my mood, be it Top or bottom. And I don't want to be constrainted by absolutes, must be this way or die. And that's *just* *me* and I can't speak for any other switch.

I can imagine that a serious 1-to-1 relationship can force a switch into a particular role because thats the best way it works, but that doesn't mean that this is absolutely the swiches' true calling for life.

To me the options give the switch a better chance of being happy rather than be bogged down.

JMO, YMMV

 

[AvaAdore]

I definately consider myself to be a switch, but Topping and bottoming are enjoyable to me for very different reasons. Being on Top is fun. Playing with the person at your mercy is fun. Watching the expressions on their face, seeing their body react, etc. However, I just can't get off on it. I am definately aroused, but it's just not enough. When I am subbing, I really get off. It just satisfies all the right things.

There is definately a grey area!

 

[curiousjen]

Me and O tried switching for a while at the start of this whole adventure but me on top = big disaster. It was something I was curious about and so was he but in the end it just went against my nature and we realised that it just wasn't for us. I tried to top by still serving him, you know:

*wallop*

how was that?

*slap*

Would you like it harder or softer?

*tweek*

Can I kiss your feet, I just have an overwhelming urge?

(Que him groaning and not in a good way)



But just because it didn't work out for me doesn't ever mean I'd start assuming that it's impossible to be a switch. I just think it takes a special type of person.

 

[serijules]

I know one RL couple in their 20s who both consider themselves switches... They take turns topping each other.. I tend to think of these types of switches as taking on "top" and "bottom" roles, but not actually being "subs" or "Doms." It seems to me that if you take turns switching with the same person it is more of a sexual turn-on and less of the relationship powerplay that I see D/s as.

This to me is one of the most common misconception of switches out there. I know many many D/s couples that switch with each other, and the roles they are in at that time are very solid and real to them, not simply a "turn on". My own Domme is one of these...she switches with her other subs who is also a switch, and there is no doubt in my mind when they are in either role that they are Dom or sub. I don't claim to understand it at all and could definately not do it myself, but I sure as hell respect it.

I am friends with another couple that I actually introduced to one another that has this same type of relationship. They switch with each other, discipline each other. I find it confusing, but it works out amazingly well for them.

Switching at times can be "just for fun" for many people that don't have a solid interest or attraction to either role, but for many others that powerplay of D/s is very much there. Most switches I know (and most of the people I interact with closely are switches) are truly submissive and Dominant, not "top and bottom".

 

[femalestudent]

Aww.
I thought you meant switches as in something your father goes and gets out of the bush to hit you with when you've been bad.

 

[ntp]

.....

 

[trodas]

To say that any orientation be it bisexual or switch is impossible is rather closed minded, I think.

Well, I probably pull out some angry reaction with my opinion, but I do really think that the submisive/dominant situation is just like the straight/gay situation, just with reversed curve.

So, there is like very few 100% submisive entities as well, as very few 100% dominant ones. (congratulations to you, rare creatures )

The absolute majority lies somewhere between, around 20/80 - 30/70 to the 70/30 - 80/20 of the S/D way

I founf myself at about 25/75 anyway

We used to call switch these, who belong aroung somewhere 40/60 to 60/40 with the S/D stuff, but In reality, we all are switches
(personally I did not believe in the rare 100% creatures at all, but that could be just me)

It is of course just my opinion - or interpretation of the reality, as I see it

 

[sphynx's dragon]

Well, I probably pull out some angry reaction with my opinion, but I do really think that the submisive/dominant situation is just like the straight/gay situation, just with reversed curve.

So, there is like very few 100% submisive entities as well, as very few 100% dominant ones. (congratulations to you, rare creatures )

The absolute majority lies somewhere between, around 20/80 - 30/70 to the 70/30 - 80/20 of the S/D way

I founf myself at about 25/75 anyway

We used to call switch these, who belong aroung somewhere 40/60 to 60/40 with the S/D stuff, but In reality, we all are switches
(personally I did not believe in the rare 100% creatures at all, but that could be just me)

It is of course just my opinion - or interpretation of the reality, as I see it

A very well thought out point. And true besides! I myself am probably along the 85% S and 15% D range. But true we all have the tendencies of both just more and less pronounced in us all!

 

[Marquis]

I still hold that we all have a dominant D/s orientation as well as a dominant sexual orientation.

Some people are more open-minded than others or get introduced to different things for different reasons, but I do believe that one side of us needs to be met and the other is there for added pleasure.

I am a keen observer of human beings and everything I see points to this.

 

[sincerely_helene]

Switches are ok if your going for that long lasting imprint, but I do prefer the sensation of a good strapping.

 

[jasonlf]

Switches are ok if your going for that long lasting imprint, but I do prefer the sensation of a good strapping.

(fail)

That's quite possibly the worst joke I've read since I've been on this forum.

 

[Betticus]

I've run into this problem as far as my bisexuality. People in the gay community have told me that there is no such thing. You're either gay and in denial, or straight and just want to experiment. Needless to say, that annoys me to no end but that's another issue for another forum.

I brought it up to relate to the fact that I've seen this same type of "hostility" towards those of us who claim we are "switches" in the BDSM community. I've already had a potential dates tell me that there's no such thing. I'm just "confused" because I haven't figured out whether I'm a dom or a sub yet.

How do you feel about switches? Especially those of you who have been established in one role for long periods of time? Are switches full just "in denial" about their true roles and too afraid to commit to one or the other? Or is it really possible to be a content switch?

I switch about as the mood changes if it's during sex just for fun and mutual pleasure. Sometimes several times during sex. Everyone loves to be held down and fucked as far as I'm concerned. Outside of the bedroom I'm fairly dominant. With other men I'm always dominant but with a lover it's come and go. With women I'm more of a daddy type.

 

[sincerely_helene]

(fail)

That's quite possibly the worst joke I've read since I've been on this forum.

Sorry. Next time I will say it in a Cartman voice so that it appeals to your obvious high standards.

 

[Guest]

Sorry. Next time I will say it in a Cartman voice so that it appeals to your obvious high standards.

Bugger standards...

What is your true opinion of "switches"?
Personally, I like em covered in chocolate syrup...

 

[chatbug]

Kinky Continuums

Hello, I thought I’d drop in on this discussion. To those that remember me, I’m doing well and continue to lurk on this forum.

In my opinion, domination / submission and sadism / masochism are two independent continuums, with pain / pleasure a measure of the sadism / masochism continuum.

In other words, someone could be a dominant sadist, a dominant masochist (bottom), or a dominant with no feelings of sadism or masochism (a sensual dominant).

It is possible to be at more than one point on either continuum. One can be dominant and submissive (a switch), as well as both sadistic and masochistic.

This kind of thinking is unnerving to those who believe that they are the “true” practitioners of whatever kink they enjoy. Bleah to them and their narrow thinking.

As for me, I’m a dominant that can submit at times, sadistic and somewhat masochistic, and interested in giving mild to medium pain and receiving mild pain.

 

[Leolover711]

Chocolate and Vanilla

Can't have one without the other. Yin & Yang. D & s. No matter what anyone says about themselves and their true nature... we all have both sides. For some it si more comfortable to be in one side more than the other, sometimes it is extremly comfortable to gravitiate to one side onely, but it is a law of nature, we all have both sides.

I for one am mostly D, but do enjoy switching from time to time, maybe 1 out of 10.

 

[Soulfiregirl]

This to me is one of the most common misconception of switches out there. I know many many D/s couples that switch with each other, and the roles they are in at that time are very solid and real to them, not simply a "turn on". My own Domme is one of these...she switches with her other subs who is also a switch, and there is no doubt in my mind when they are in either role that they are Dom or sub. I don't claim to understand it at all and could definately not do it myself, but I sure as hell respect it.

I am friends with another couple that I actually introduced to one another that has this same type of relationship. They switch with each other, discipline each other. I find it confusing, but it works out amazingly well for them.

Switching at times can be "just for fun" for many people that don't have a solid interest or attraction to either role, but for many others that powerplay of D/s is very much there. Most switches I know (and most of the people I interact with closely are switches) are truly submissive and Dominant, not "top and bottom".

Thankyou! Very good post. I'm not into the DBSM lifestyle 24/7 myself. I'd rather keep any dom or sub desires in the bedroom, but once I'm there I'd like to experience both. 1. Because I think I'd make a kickass dominatrix when I so desire. 2. Because having someone drag me around by a leash and dominate me in other ways would also be kickass.

I think it keeps things more interesting, if you can mentally handle both sides. But that's just me. If you're happy being only a bottom or a top, then hey, more power to ya. It's all good. Maybe one day I will fall more into one role but for now, switching is the most fun for me.

 

[serijules]

I think it keeps things more interesting, if you can mentally handle both sides. But that's just me. If you're happy being only a bottom or a top, then hey, more power to ya. It's all good. Maybe one day I will fall more into one role but for now, switching is the most fun for me.

I agree. When I first started exploring my BDSM desires, although I much leaned towards my submissive side, I did explore my dominant side as well, and enjoyed doing so. Not only did it give me insight into future partners and the role they play that I might not otherwise have had, but it helped me to really feel secure and happy with the decision I eventually made...that dominanting was not for me. I still participate in toppy play now and then, but I no longer consider myself a switch. I don't regret at all embracing that title for the years that I did however...it was a GREAT way to start out my BDSM explorations. There are times when I miss being comfortable topping, but that just isn't me anymore so I don't worry about it much. I envy those that truly are comfortable in both roles.

 

[jasonlf]

Sorry. Next time I will say it in a Cartman voice so that it appeals to your obvious high standards.

I just got burned.