What is your true opinion of "switches"?

[Marquis]

I just got burned.

She's a tough one.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Bishop: "I'm afraid I have some bad news."

Hudson: "Well that's a switch."

 

[Kajira Callista]

Can't have one without the other. Yin & Yang. D & s. No matter what anyone says about themselves and their true nature... we all have both sides. For some it si more comfortable to be in one side more than the other, sometimes it is extremly comfortable to gravitiate to one side onely, but it is a law of nature, we all have both sides.

I for one am mostly D, but do enjoy switching from time to time, maybe 1 out of 10.

I dont agree with this at all. Actually i see it as the opposite.

 

[robbie_boy1]

I dont agree with this at all. Actually i see it as the opposite.

i can agree with it, i know people that switch from time to time though they are more D than s. i have tried D but like s better...lol....but that's just me.

 

[ghosst_K&H]

I think it's sad that we (as a group) who are supposed to be the most tolerant of all, have such little tolerance for anyone elses kink, or fetish.

The "My way is right, therefore the only "true" way", is prolific in this lifestyle, and I just don't understand why.

Onto the topic, I have no problems with switches, and feel that if switching is what makes you happy, good for you, and fuck anyone who belittles your choice and infringes on your happiness.

 

[Miss Melody]

I think it's sad that we (as a group) who are supposed to be the most tolerant of all, have such little tolerance for anyone elses kink, or fetish.

The "My way is right, therefore the only "true" way", is prolific in this lifestyle, and I just don't understand why.

When entering this scene I naively thought that it would be all tolerance, all the time. Ironically, the 'tolerance' line was fed to me by a 'Dom' with the biggest ego this side of the Mississippi who, I later found out, thinks that all women are submissives underneath it all and routinely tries to top switches and Dommes; and if he can't, he ridicules them verbally.

Onto the topic, I have no problems with switches, and feel that if switching is what makes you happy, good for you, and fuck anyone who belittles your choice and infringes on your happiness.

Wish more people felt like you.

 

[serijules]

I heartily agree.

Ditto. I have zero tolerance for those in the scene that have attitudes about labels and roles or try to fit people into their own definitions. That screams of insecurity to me.

 

[babiesmiles]

Ditto. I have zero tolerance for those in the scene that have attitudes about labels and roles or try to fit people into their own definitions. That screams of insecurity to me.

very true

 

[Marquis]

I love how Litsters will rally against an invisible enemy. Hey, whatever brings y'all together.

If you really thought this community was going to be all tolerance all the time...

I just don't know what to say.

 

[DVS]

Sure, there are switches. I'm jealous of their ability to switch. I can't find a sub who will even answer my ads. Maybe if I could sub, I'd have a better chance. No, that ain't gonna happen. I'm doomed to be a Dom. Switches have all the luck!

And, I do agree with Marquis...

A content switch, I think so.

But even ambidexterous people use one hand more often.

Probably a little better too.

 

[Marquis]

Sure, there are switches. I'm jealous of their ability to switch. I can't find a sub who will even answer my ads. Maybe if I could sub, I'd have a better chance. No, that ain't gonna happen. I'm doomed to be a Dom. Switches have all the luck!

And, I do agree with Marquis...

Imagine if you were a bisexual switch. You'd have way better chances!

 

[Marquis]

It probably still wouldn't hurt to have a pussy.

 

[Aeroil]

It probably still wouldn't hurt to have a pussy.

A bisexual Hermaphrodite Switch??

 

[Marquis]

A bisexual Hermaphrodite Switch??

Who wouldn't fuck one of those!

 

[DVS]

It probably still wouldn't hurt to have a pussy.

I have four pussys. My main job is to clean the littler box.

But, sex with these pussys? Out of the question. They all still have their claws!!

 

[Killishandra]

Imagine if you were a bisexual switch. You'd have way better chances!

Wow, looks like I have the best of all possible worlds. Lucky me!

Course I have to add, in my case I don't switch with the same person... I am Dom to some and sub to others (at the moment, only one, and subbing to him only seems to increase my Dommish tendencies towards others.)

Can't argue with the bisexual thing though... it opens up alot of possibilities. Lucky me -and lucky Him.

 

[DVS]

Not to single you out DVS, I've noticed this sentiment a lot.

I find it strange that we're jealous of each other, when the limits that hinder us are created by our own categorization of ourselves. None the less, it is perfectly understandable that someone might not be into submitting, for instance, and rule out that population of prospects... but we each do that process of elimination ourselves.

In anycase I would not say that switches have all the luck.. finding someone compatible is difficult no matter who you are.

Consider that switches, with thier varied tastes, often find themselves in relationships where they are only able to excersise one side of thier sexuality, and the other cravings are left to frusteration. I suppose that's slightly better than being in a vanilla relationship....

...Or they can limit themselves to playing only with other switches... which as I said, elliminates a lot of prospects.

Also, there seemed to me, when I first came on here at least, to be a fair number of Dominants in particular who voiced a disinterested for switches, ostensibly due to the complications implied in keeping a switch happy.

Which I suppose is fair... sorta, but that kind of prejudice certainly never feels fair.

I haven't seen so much evidence of that sentiment lately, so I don't claim that it persists, but I've only just gotten back to Lit, as it were.

Well, I will agree with you, if a switch is looking for a lifetime mate. They are more limited than someone who does not switch. A true switch needs to mate up with another switch to be totally happy and content. Although, they do have an advantage in that they can decide for themselves if they want to live with only a Dom or a sub, and not be satisfied both ways.

A Dom or a sub won't have that choice. But it's also true, to be ultimately satisfied, they have only one search path. And, although that might seem a simpler task, if that's all you have and you ain't finding any, the grass sure looks greener in the other guy's yard.

Now, if a switch is playing the field, they have the best of all possible options. They can be Dom one night, and maybe sub the next. "A, B, or ABC" is a nicer menu than "A or B". It's much less likely you end up going home alone.

And in the question of someone having prejudice towards a switch because it is difficult to keep them happy? I'd say that is more a problem with the other person and less a fault of the switch. Personally, I'd love the challenge of keeping someone satisfied.

 

[slave C]

My Pearl is switch...And I think I've made my opinion of her pretty damned clear..


Sort of like having a pet tiger...Very beautiful..Somewhat dangerous..
Periodicly you have to throw them a lamb...

Keeps you on your toes...Invigorating..

gulp ....... a lamb?????? slave c

 

[SweetDommes]

I think it's sad that we (as a group) who are supposed to be the most tolerant of all, have such little tolerance for anyone elses kink, or fetish.

The "My way is right, therefore the only "true" way", is prolific in this lifestyle, and I just don't understand why.

Onto the topic, I have no problems with switches, and feel that if switching is what makes you happy, good for you, and fuck anyone who belittles your choice and infringes on your happiness.

hmmm... I should troll our boy more often he's pretty smart, isn't he? *beams proudly*

Holly and I agree with him totally on this one (or is it that he agrees with us? oh well, doesn't matter). We have always thought it was sad that even among the outcasts, there must be outcasts. In RL groups we have seen the femsubs who have to ostracise the Dommes, or the Doms who have to degrade the male subs, or the Doms who, like one that someone else mentioned, feel that Dommes make the best subs, and of course once he points that out to them, they will fall at his feet and beg to lick the soles of his boots because he's just the greatest *huge eye roll* ... it's pathetic and sad that they feel that way. And of course, for new people, it just makes them feel more out of place than they did before, because they finally figured out who/what they are, and thought that they had found a place that would accept that aspect of their life and *BOOM* another ton of bullshit to deal with piled upon them.

Honestly, it's a damn good thing that he feels that way, because I'm a switch. I sub to Holly, I'm Domme to him. If he had any issues with switches, he'd be in some deep shit by now.

As for those who don't believe that people who are 100% Dominant exist - y'all haven't met Holly ... she is and always will be.

Miss Karen

 

[SweetDommes]

Also, there seemed to me, when I first came on here at least, to be a fair number of Dominants in particular who voiced a disinterested for switches, ostensibly due to the complications implied in keeping a switch happy.

Which I suppose is fair... sorta, but that kind of prejudice certainly never feels fair.

Actually, we eliminated switches only after we ran into a problem with the fact that a few of the switches who applied to us already had subs (which won't work with what we want) or would suddenly forget that although they are switches, we are Dommes and they will not Dominate us. And we haven't eliminated them totally, as I'm currently interviewing one as a potential - but he doesn't have a sub of his own, and while he isn't always submissive in our conversations, he doesn't try to Dominate during them either. Having a boy that will have to be reminded of the arrangement that we want is not something that we are looking forward to - their need to Top on occation would not be neglected, and was not considered in our decision to not consider switches unless they had a damn good argument in their favor.

 

[snowy ciara]

One would think so huh. On the other hand, there are a variety of not so nice names that people often call other people who "play the field" like that... heartbreaker for example.

<minor snippage>.

Depends on how they play the field. If they're honest in their intentions and tell you that's what they're doing, or show you by their actions that they're more into field-playing than rather than looking for their one true soul mate, so you know what you're getting into with them, it's not a problem. I try not to fall in lust, love, whatever with field players of any persuasion, as I tend to get hung up on them and their playing around feeds into my own esteem issues in a not good way.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Ok, *big breath, haven't posted for a while* I'm guessing I am a switch.
I have a boy now, who courted me for a few weeks online, and eventually seduced me into trying to top, with his offer of domestic service. He isnt and will never be a sissy boy and I have no desire for one anyway.He's a fit, strapping, country bred, classic aussie male.He works hard and plays hard.
He applied to my Master, we have had restrictions imposed, and after 3 months trial, he has proved to be both a joy and a challenge.I previously had no desire at all to top, but now I find the power trip as much as a rush as endorphins. My Master is relishing hearing of my trials and tribulations, and was amused at my sexual arousal, that was a complete and utter surprise to me.I was just going to "give it a go", dress up sexy and have clean windows.
But having my morning coffee brought to me in bed, then as I woke up slowly, blessed with the sight of a 6'3", muscled 25y/o, lying on my shagpile rug in the sunny gamesroom last week, wearing nothing but collar, cuffs and doc martins...Indulging in some puppy play, leading to some punishments and well earnt rewards.... I do enjoy and value my pup so very much now.
He loves being bound, and I love having him powerless at my feet.He is attentive and grateful for any opportunity to please. He is patient and knows I am still very new to this, but has never mentioned it.He enjoys pain in moderate to heavy doses.
I now have a deeper appreciation of the work and planning involved, the level of responsibility ( I nearly backed out, because he is a such a young lad with a tough guy attitude and high pain threshold, not to mention the psychological issues) Probably more concerned, coming from a submissive position myself, I dont want to damage him in any way.
But I still want to be bound and tormented, used and abused, and give my all to my Master.I am still a pain slut.
Switch? I must be.

LOL, so you crossed the threshold successfully. Congratulations.

Catalina

 

[Soulfiregirl]

.. finding someone compatible is difficult no matter who you are.

Consider that switches, with thier varied tastes, often find themselves in relationships where they are only able to excersise one side of thier sexuality, and the other cravings are left to frusteration.

...Or they can limit themselves to playing only with other switches... which as I said, elliminates a lot of prospects.

Very good point Stag. Let me use myself as an example of your points above:

This is what I'm worried about. I also happen to be a bisexual female. Just being bisexual has made it hard for me to meet women because they think I'm going to fuck around on them with a man. But the fact that I also have switch desires makes this whole deal even more frustrating for me. I'm still very new to all of this but I the one thing I do know is that I don't have to have years of switching experience to know I'm a switch. (just like I know I don't have to sleep with tons of women to know I'm bi...I just know) My brain is a "switch" brain with nothing but "switch" thoughts. (I'm not saying that couldn't slightly change in the future...with more experience I might lean more one way then the other but overall I feel I'll always be a switch to a certain degree)

I'm not one to play the field because I'm so paranoid about STD's and emotionally, I'm not sure yet if I could handle that. I am still learning my own boundaries with all of this and jumping from person to person feels like it might be overwhelming. So, that leaves me with the frustrating task of trying to find someone who matches me in all these areas. I did happen to meet someone recently who saw my ad on here in the BDSM persoals forum. He's not bisexual but he's had "bi" fantasies and a few limited "experiences" so he's not threatened by my bisexual urges. He's interested in bondage but I'm not sure yet how open he'll be to being submissive. (although he bought himself a strapon which he'd eventually like me to use on him...that's a big fantasy of mine too)

He seems to be more interested in dominating though. We've only had three dates so far but no sex just yet. (well, we got a little frisky on date #2 but we didn't have enough time to finish the deal because I had to catch a train home) I don't think either of us know what we want yet. He lives in Chicago so I don't get to see him very often and it can be hard to develope a steady "pace" when you don't get to see the person very often. But, I jumped at the chance of meeting him because he seemed interested in all the kinky things I'm interested in.

To me it seems easier to be a dom or a sub because at least you've pretty much figured out what "side" you want to play on. I feel frustrated lately because I wonder if I'll ever find someone who matches me. I even thought of possibly dating a couple but then I worried that jealous feelings might start to develope because I'd always kind of be the "third wheel".

I don't know. Guess I'll figure it out one of these days. I'm glad I started this thread because everyone has had great and thoughtful posts on here. I know it's given me things to think about.

 

[redcatty]

You see this is my first ever literotica post, but I feel inspired to reply, so I am doing. I'm actually a naive and completely unexperienced 22yr old who has never really indulged because I'm too busy aspiring to be good at something. (and obviously i'm nervous and scared)

However, I can empathise (i think) with the idea of being a switch, I've visited literotica for 3 years now, and whilst I think I may have a slight sub lean (55/45) I actually would say my mind is a bit of both. Perhaps future experiences will be the proof of the pudding. My Dom side probably will take a bit more confidence to out, but I'm still young... a lot of learning about my tastes, desires and boundaries to come....

I suppose I have experimented with my sexuality too. But ultimately and perhaps this is just my inexperience, I guess I think that all my sexualness is part of the whole that I am, and is unlikely to fit any boxes. I think relationships of any kind are different and individual, (like some of you nice people, which I think is why I feel I'm able to respond to this thread).

I like people with different tastes, different desires, different beliefs it makes life more interesting, but having other people force their views on you is annoying, and when others try and belittle your emotions it isn't very nice nor very big or clever either. (is that me forcing my views about people who force their views?) :-#

If I had to fit a box, I guess I'd be a switch, and straight, but in reality I'm me... and generally I like it that way. I hope I could/can accept others for who they are too; sometimes (well most of the time) finding a fit does seem a little challenging...(so I hope, like you soulfiregirl, life or me figures it out)

Thanks for this thread.....


ps. its probably courgettes for me....

 

[LilyMelb]

Switching

Hiya all,

I've always had a hard time getting my head around the concept of 'switching' or 'switches' - and yet I've always felt this is my own inherent issue and bias, a problem I need to fix, not a problem with others who may be switches, as such.

I guess because I'm so naturally sub, it confuses me to think you could go from feeling like I do, to genuinely feeling Dominant. I'm not talking about playing Dom - not that I've ever done it, but I think I could play Dom in a scene if I had to, put on the act so to speak. But I would not genuinely feel it, like I do submission. That's why it's hard for me to comprehend switches.

And yet I fully accept that switches are genuine and real and just as serious about their desires and needs as those who are only sub or dom - as I said, I think this is a problem on my side, not on theirs/yours.

One thing I know - it seems to me, who is only sub, that it must be really difficult to switch from one head-space to the other! And I admire you for it!

Love Lily