What made you smile or laugh today? Part IV

[MaraschinoCherry]

Fake meetings and chemmmmistry

 

[Russ999]

Carrots and ice cream

 

[muddler35]

My baby had an early appointment, so I was trying to motivate her.

Me: Sweetheart, time to get your ass out of bed.
Her sleepily: My ass is out of bed…… but my head’s still on the pillow.

What? How does that work?

 

[melimelissa]

https://i.imgur.com/fOeIBJ2.png

 

[seela]

After living here close to a year, I've finally purchased curtains for living room.

Now, if I could muster the energy to find the rest of the things I need, like lamps... It'd be great to have light this winter unlike last. Although considering the electricity price, maybe the lamps aren't so necessary after all.

 

[IrisAlthea]

I read field of crows at first and was slightly confused.
View attachment 2174437

 

[IrisAlthea]

After living here close to a year, I've finally purchased curtains for living room.

Now, if I could muster the energy to find the rest of the things I need, like lamps... It'd be great to have light this winter unlike last. Although considering the electricity price, maybe the lamps aren't so necessary after all.

Yup, black candles and occult prayers are probably cheaper.

We discussed how to handle heating costs and such in the lunch room. Someone said the planned to use their wood stove and someone else mentioned that it isn’t allowed to use those for more than ”coziness” which legally means a couple of times per month and also, what about those who don’t have a wood stove.
I said that we would simply go around the neighborhood and blackmail the people using theirs too much…

 

[twister947]

Yup, black candles and occult prayers are probably cheaper.

We discussed how to handle heating costs and such in the lunch room. Someone said the planned to use their wood stove and someone else mentioned that it isn’t allowed to use those for more than ”coziness” which legally means a couple of times per month and also, what about those who don’t have a wood stove.
I said that we would simply go around the neighborhood and blackmail the people using theirs too much…

You're welcome to share my Jøtul!

 

[IrisAlthea]

You're welcome to share my Jøtul!

It’s really nice of you to want to save me from a life of crime and cold.

I’ve actually been looking at those Jøtuls, but it’s a bit of a bigger project because we’ll need a chimney too…

 

[twister947]

Recently, Bartelme spotted a service station near her home offering “pumpkin spice oil changes,” and it made her smile. “We’re all in on the joke now.”

 

[muddler35]

My supposed “best friend” and her partner in crime playing a practical joke on me and making me feel like an ass!

 

[MaraschinoCherry]

Imagining something I wanted this morning and then getting a photo of exactly that thing at exactly that moment.

 

[seela]

Finding a tote bag I thought I had lost. So happy, the bag carries so many memories even when empty.

 

[mouthful6]

A cutie from work called to ask me a perfectly legit work question, but I was stroking to a pov blowjob porn. Trying to have a normal conversation with her on the phone, her sweet voice, and I can't help but imagine that's her mouth on my balls, looking up at me.

 

[Acktion]

https://qph.cf2.quoracdn.net/main-qimg-84ad63c4f1b5650390d076c408f16010

 

[AngelWithAShotgun]

Him: I thought you're gonna pee...
Her: I am! I have one leg up... (she answers, groaning, face against her pillow)
Him: (sounding very confused) Is that how you're gonna pee or how you're getting out of bed?!??

 

[Bramblethorn]

Watching the lengths some people will go to to avoid recognising the consequences of their actions as the consequences of their actions.

 

[IrisAlthea]

I have informed my insurance company that the reason I pay for the fullest of full coverage, with bells, whistles and glitter on top, is that I don’t want to fork out 1500-2000€ out of pocket when something happens.
The fact that I’ve mostly had to do the job of their German partner company on top of that, is not making me any happier…

I thought I heard the sound of scurrying in the background during the call.
Turned out they could actually get to it pretty fast.

 

[Bramblethorn]

https://twitter.com/x/status/1567961747579088896

 

[Valendon]

Smiled at the sunrise over an open field--low, thin fog layer hovering just a few feet off the ground, then a pair of foxes playfully chasing each other across, and finally a doe bounding toward me for a moment before she turned to walk into the woods. Just a peaceful, lovely way to start the day!

 

[seela]

Remembering Lord Steve.

 

[BiBunny]

Remembering Lord Steve.

I think about Lord Steve a lot. He cracked me up!

 

[seela]

I think about Lord Steve a lot. He cracked me up!

Yup. A rare gem.

 

[melimelissa]

I should not mess with
the wonderful products that
Disney has on offer

Méli
View attachment 2175884

 

[Artfan2]

I should not mess with
the wonderful products that
Disney has on offer

Méli
View attachment 2175884

Haha, this might help Disney appeal to a whole new audience!