Primalex
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What makes an online D/s relationship work?
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Darkness1962
Virgin
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I never had a long term one because eventually we met but we trusted each other enough that rewards and punishments were never a problem.
Yes a webcam can be fun. But a steamy voice message or phone call can be even better.
Yes a webcam can be fun. But a steamy voice message or phone call can be even better.
FurryFury
Addict of Sensation
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I'm not saying other people are wrong to cam or phone or message, if they are both into it's great but it's not my way. I think the OP should know that not everyone goes about online D/s or long distance D/s the same way.
Lame? Perhaps to you. That's okay. You are not and would not be a good match for me.
Lame? Perhaps to you. That's okay. You are not and would not be a good match for me.
intothewoods
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Yeah, seriously, Fury, your desire to protect your privacy and family is sooooo lame.
What the hell??
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ecstaticsub
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I use a webcam with Daddy but it wasn't until after I had met him in person a couple of times and we had known each other for about a year.
With screen capture programs etc one has to be very careful about who they cam with and what they do on cam.
With screen capture programs etc one has to be very careful about who they cam with and what they do on cam.
Very true.
It sure is hot when it happens, though...such complete trust and exquisite vulnerability on the part of the sub.
I've only had one sub cam for me, so far. I made sure to let her know how appreciative I was and made doubly sure not to give her ANY reason to regret it.
Primalex
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Yeah, seriously, Fury, your desire to protect your privacy and family is sooooo lame.
What the hell??
Oh shut up stupid or use your brain first.
Problems arise when you are caught with your pants down, not when a cam is running. Unless her online relationship would revolve around exactly nothing the problem is already there that someone might notice it. A cam doesn't make it more or less likely, especially as there is no way to see if it's turned on. (Nobody said she would have to watch _his_ cam.)
And then again, there is _always_ a time where you can have some private time. Maybe not 5 hours per day, but anyone telling me, (s)he would be so observed that it's impossible to enable a cam for an hour per week without being caught is a simple liar - or just doesn't want to show her real self in the first place.
FurryFury
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I don't have to explain this to the nasty troll but for the rest of the people who don't already know, I have children and very little privacy.
In addition this is one of the things my husband has told me never to do. I'm never to show myself in an identifiable way online unless it's for wholesome business purposes.
I am a very private person. I'm not prone to getting off by voice or pictures. Therefore it doesn't bother me but even if it did I would comply with my husband's limits for me.
Cam, phone, and texting, are not necessary for online D/s to work. I know because I've had some amazing online D/s. For those into it, on both sides, that's great. I would never judge people who do things in a different way from me. I would not expect them to judge me either.
In addition this is one of the things my husband has told me never to do. I'm never to show myself in an identifiable way online unless it's for wholesome business purposes.
I am a very private person. I'm not prone to getting off by voice or pictures. Therefore it doesn't bother me but even if it did I would comply with my husband's limits for me.
Cam, phone, and texting, are not necessary for online D/s to work. I know because I've had some amazing online D/s. For those into it, on both sides, that's great. I would never judge people who do things in a different way from me. I would not expect them to judge me either.
intothewoods
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It's hot when you call me stupid.
We're not talking about someone who doesn't cam because they are cheating. That's a whole other ball of wax. Generally speaking, it's easier to chat online and maintain some anonymity than cam or email pictures of yourself.
ataxia.girl
D/s anarchist
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i have had my cam ripped without my knowledge. He told me afterward. i trust him that clip isn't "out there" somewhere but i'll never be 100% sure.
It can and does happen.
myinnerslut
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me too. i was furious.
ataxia.girl
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fuckers
Adakgirl
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I must comment here, I am also a very private person. Getting off on cam was not why I agreed that a cam is a wonderful piece of communication technology for use in LD relationships. If you are in a LD D/s relationship, your trust for one another should be in place before you cam of course. Seeing as how D/s relationships are based on trust, I would not be in it at all if I did not feel I could trust my Dominant enough to know he would never use my cam images against me. Or use them at all without my knowledge.
Also we never said or implied that cams were necessary for an on-line relationship to work. Only that having the ability to read one another's facial expressions and body language enhances them greatly.
I get great pleasure from my Dominant watching me carry out his wishes right then and there in front of his face. He doesn't have to just take my word for it when I tell him I have obeyed him, he can see it with his own eyes. So not necessary no, but as a tool to help grow in your relationship together..it works remarkably well.
FurryFury
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I said if you and yours are into it, that's great didn't I?
Did you really think I was condemning or judging people who use them? Or that I thought you personally had said or implied that they were necessary?
You and yours enjoy it, that's great. I'm happy for you.
However, people new to this should be aware that not everyone wants or uses this and that's not necessarily a sign of cheating and so on.
Did you really think I was condemning or judging people who use them? Or that I thought you personally had said or implied that they were necessary?
You and yours enjoy it, that's great. I'm happy for you.
However, people new to this should be aware that not everyone wants or uses this and that's not necessarily a sign of cheating and so on.
Homburg
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You know, I am fully willing to go have a little chat with ex-boyfriend. I can probably fix that problem while doing so.
ataxia.girl
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i have spent many wonderful hours being observed on cam. Lots of times i was just at my desk working. It was nice feeling looked after.
i have largely stopped because Daddy isn't into it and because of the risk. If having the world find out what you are doing on camera is going to cause problems for yourself or your family then camming is dangerous. Period.
For a time it was worth the risk for me. i felt like i was locked in a cage and i had to do something.
Occasionally Daddy will have me brush my hair for him on cam and imagine he is doing it. i love it. Its very intimate. This is a rare treat i get probably less than once a month. He never has me perform sexually on camera for him.
my personal opinion is for any long distance relationship to last over the long term you need to be able to physically meet occasionally. The intensity and longing for physical contact can drive you insane after awhile. i've had a couple of very intense online only relationships but eventually they either had to end or we had to meet. i didn't meet either of them.
i definitely prefer the LDR i am in now where the primary connection is physical. The online is merely a means to keep us connected when we aren't together.
i have largely stopped because Daddy isn't into it and because of the risk. If having the world find out what you are doing on camera is going to cause problems for yourself or your family then camming is dangerous. Period.
For a time it was worth the risk for me. i felt like i was locked in a cage and i had to do something.
Occasionally Daddy will have me brush my hair for him on cam and imagine he is doing it. i love it. Its very intimate. This is a rare treat i get probably less than once a month. He never has me perform sexually on camera for him.
my personal opinion is for any long distance relationship to last over the long term you need to be able to physically meet occasionally. The intensity and longing for physical contact can drive you insane after awhile. i've had a couple of very intense online only relationships but eventually they either had to end or we had to meet. i didn't meet either of them.
i definitely prefer the LDR i am in now where the primary connection is physical. The online is merely a means to keep us connected when we aren't together.
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JMohegan
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I am curious to know why you are seeking an online relationship, rather than one in the physical world.
I just feel that being so inexperienced an online relationship would enable me and the sub i work with to build together and be more comfortable than a r/l relationship
Marquis
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Desperation and a lack of other options.
Yeah. That's, um...that's an interesting opinion. Thanks for that, I'm sure it was very helpful.
Now run along while the adults talk for a bit. I'm sure there's a sandpit somewhere you can play in.
JMohegan
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So it's a shyness or lack of confidence issue. Okay.
When you describe yourself as an "inexperienced dom," are you saying that you are inexperienced in general, or just inexperienced when it comes to D/s?
I ask, because it seems relevant to pinpoint whether it is women in general, or D/s in particular, that you fear. If the latter, then I would attempt to dispel any mystique about the process and participants. If the former, that's a totally different subject.
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JMohegan
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Why do *you* think people seek out online vs. in-person relationships?
Depends on the nature of the question. If a person's got both avenues available to him but goes for online exclusively, then we're talking general unwillingness to get involved and make it real - maybe they're not interested in anything other than dirty talk, maybe they're just too nervous about the whole thing, maybe their life is such that they realistically can't because of their work (or lack of it) or housing situation. If both avenues aren't available, then yes, lack of other options comes into it.
"Desperation", on the other hand, not so much. And the implication that people seek out online relationships over real-life things because they're desperate is a rather stupid thing to say.
