When she won't look you in the eye...

[human_male]

Excellent question. It's very easy to impress with words, much harder when you have to be yourself, in the flesh.

HuMale - What do you do to try to make a life for yourself? Not here, not on chatrooms etc, but with real live people. You are obviously shy and not very confident (might be that face, lol). Do you have interests or hobbies and the time to pursue them. I sense a nice guy in you who could offer a lot to the right woman, but I don't think you're going the right way about it.

I often ask myself why I don't meet people but it has always been thus. At school or when I had a job that had quite a good social group I socialised but never really met anyone. Now I'm a bit of a hermit. The job I have now I work by myself, and I have good friends but they live quite far away so I hardly see them. My hobbies are all I really do, but again they're solo activities. I think that's one of the reasons I've clung to the shop girl, because it seemed my only option.

It's not that I'm shy or lack confidence. I think if I was in the situation where I met lots of women on a social basis I'd do pretty well because I can talk to them, and I don't just want to bag them. It's just a case of how do you meet em? The city I live in is notoriously hard to meet people. If you're not in a social group, and they usually stem from school, you're buggered really.

 

[human_male]

If he is anything like me then it would be hard.
Don't know why but just can't get into the whole nightclub/pub scene and this is where all the women want to hang, so yeah it can be tough.

That's the problem. There's always parties (which I hate but I'd force myself) but you need to know people in the first place in order to get invited.

I always imagined Ozzy would be easier to meet women. They have a rep here of being friendly, but I guess that's a case of the grass is greener.

 

[australwind]

That's the problem. There's always parties (which I hate but I'd force myself) but you need to know people in the first place in order to get invited.

I always imagined Ozzy would be easier to meet women. They have a rep here of being friendly, but I guess that's a case of the grass is greener.

We are friendly.....but then we have our fair share of bitches too.....

Finding a way to meet people that you are comfortable with is always a challenge....you know it amazes me to think that I have made several new friends in R/L as a result of having been here at Lit....not something I would have thought would have happened but it has...so anythings possible really.

 

[m.j.h]

That's the problem. There's always parties (which I hate but I'd force myself) but you need to know people in the first place in order to get invited.

I always imagined Ozzy would be easier to meet women. They have a rep here of being friendly, but I guess that's a case of the grass is greener.

Would have thought that it would be easyish over there but sounds like the same deal on both sides of the pond.

 

[m.j.h]

We are friendly.....but then we have our fair share of bitches too.....

Finding a way to meet people that you are comfortable with is always a challenge....you know it amazes me to think that I have made several new friends in R/L as a result of having been here at Lit....not something I would have thought would have happened but it has...so anythings possible really.

Yeah i thought the same thing but from the sounds of things it will happen for me.

We got plenty of stuck up bitches up here thats for sure.

 

[australwind]

Yeah i thought the same thing but from the sounds of things it will happen for me.

We got plenty of stuck up bitches up here thats for sure.

And we've got lots of sleazy blokes who wouldn't think twice about giving the women they sweet talk the flick so fast their heels don't touch the ground....


But there are the nice ones of both sorts out there, HM, so give it your best shot in here and see what happens, you may well be surprised.....I know I was.

 

[kiwichyck]

Hi there

I don't know if I can be much help because my dating experience was over before I left high school but here's my 10 cents worth.

Maybe she isn't considering you romantically. After all, you're just some random guy that shows up at her work on a regular basis. Sure, you're friendly and you've chatted a little, but I think you're being too ambiguous.

The most flattering way a guy asked me out, was by bald faced coming up to me and asking if he could ring me later. I'd seen him around but until he came right out and asked me point blank, I'd had no idea he was even interested in me. Once I knew how he was feeling I became instantly interested. Didn't work out, but at least we knew where we stood. A confident man is a turn on after all.

I think she may seem uninterested because she doesn't want to come across as 'too keen'. You've kept things casual, so if she suddenly starts blabbing on about herself or reminding you about the casually promised coffee, she runs the risk of sending you ducking for cover.

Honestly, just go in there one day and say 'hey, I like you and I'd like to spend some time with you away from work. How about we have that coffee soon?'

 

[human_male]

Hi there

I don't know if I can be much help because my dating experience was over before I left high school but here's my 10 cents worth.

Maybe she isn't considering you romantically. After all, you're just some random guy that shows up at her work on a regular basis. Sure, you're friendly and you've chatted a little, but I think you're being too ambiguous.

The most flattering way a guy asked me out, was by bald faced coming up to me and asking if he could ring me later. I'd seen him around but until he came right out and asked me point blank, I'd had no idea he was even interested in me. Once I knew how he was feeling I became instantly interested. Didn't work out, but at least we knew where we stood. A confident man is a turn on after all.

I think she may seem uninterested because she doesn't want to come across as 'too keen'. You've kept things casual, so if she suddenly starts blabbing on about herself or reminding you about the casually promised coffee, she runs the risk of sending you ducking for cover.

Honestly, just go in there one day and say 'hey, I like you and I'd like to spend some time with you away from work. How about we have that coffee soon?'

Hiya,
Yeah I can't help but shake the feeling she's at least interested in being friends, which I am too. But I did ask her out, after all. I know it was casual, but I don't see how she could be ambiguous about that.

As posted by someone else, I run the risk of actually being a
problem for her and making her uncomfortable, if she starts to think that when I come in I'm going to ask her out again. And she may not be at all interested, and might not even like me, and be really uncomfortable with that. And I really don't want to do anything to make her uncomfortable or anxious in the least.

And plus, I have asked. I've done my part. I think either she isn't interested at all, or she is interested in being friends but thinks I want to date her, or there's some complication that I don't know about, like a boyfriend. Which is likely.

When the guy asked you if he could phone you... was that giving you a more clear signal than if he asked you out for coffee? I would have thought both would accomplish the same thing. But since I am so inexperienced in this, maybe coffee has another meaning in girl-code. What do ya reckon?

 

[human_male]

Yeah i thought the same thing but from the sounds of things it will happen for me.

That's good to hear. Where'd you meet this lucky lady?

 

[kiwichyck]

well

I'm still pretty clueless myself. I've been in the same relationship since I was 15 so you probably know more girl-code than I do!

The guy that asked me if he could ring me was way back in high school. I was first surprised and then flattered by his direct approach, and by default his self confidence. I 'went around' with him for a while just because he had the balls to come up to me. I wouldn't know about 'coffee' nobody ever asked me

I think she's probably more likely to feel uncomfortable with you during trite and maybe awkward conversations than if you just lay all your damn cards on the table. At least then you will know exactly where you stand. You will have learnt something and if it doesn't work this time you're not wasting any more time on her. And you're both adults. There is no reason why either of you should feel unable to still be polite and friendly should you meet again.

 

[human_male]

I'm still pretty clueless myself. I've been in the same relationship since I was 15 so you probably know more girl-code than I do!

The guy that asked me if he could ring me was way back in high school. I was first surprised and then flattered by his direct approach, and by default his self confidence. I 'went around' with him for a while just because he had the balls to come up to me. I wouldn't know about 'coffee' nobody ever asked me

I think she's probably more likely to feel uncomfortable with you during trite and maybe awkward conversations than if you just lay all your damn cards on the table. At least then you will know exactly where you stand. You will have learnt something and if it doesn't work this time you're not wasting any more time on her. And you're both adults. There is no reason why either of you should feel unable to still be polite and friendly should you meet again.

Well I hope you're right. I am polite and friendly to her as I want to encourage her to mention the coffee. But at the same time I'm not trying as hard to make conversation with her.

Gee I wish there was a way to know what you women were thinking!