Who wants questionable advice?

[whenagain]

Dear Soma
There are two girls who come into my work(bartending). they are roommates. I'm very attracted to both of them, albeit in different ways.

Do I: maintain professionalism, pick one to flirt with or try for a threesome?

 

[Soma99]

Come on man, I thought you learned how to handle this situation before you were allowed to open a coors light.

You hit on the uglier one.

This makes her feel INCREDIBLE that a guy is going after her instead of her hotter friend. It makes the hotter one want more attention. Once the hotter one wakes up to you making French toast a couple of mornings she’s gonna want to get in on the action.

That’s how theesomes work, if you go for it you get nothing. If one of the girls go for it you get two tongues on your balls at the same time.

 

[whenagain]

Come on man, I thought you learned how to handle this situation before you were allowed to open a coors light.

You hit on the uglier one.

This makes her feel INCREDIBLE that a guy is going after her instead of her hotter friend. It makes the hotter one want more attention. Once the hotter one wakes up to you making French toast a couple of mornings she’s gonna want to get in on the action.

That’s how theesomes work, if you go for it you get nothing. If one of the girls go for it you get two tongues on your balls at the same time.

Confirms my suspicions! Thank you!

 

[justasimplegirl]

Come on man, I thought you learned how to handle this situation before you were allowed to open a coors light.

You hit on the uglier one.

This makes her feel INCREDIBLE that a guy is going after her instead of her hotter friend. It makes the hotter one want more attention. Once the hotter one wakes up to you making French toast a couple of mornings she’s gonna want to get in on the action.

That’s how theesomes work, if you go for it you get nothing. If one of the girls go for it you get two tongues on your balls at the same time.

This is true. I've been the uglier one at times and the hotter one at others. This is exactly how threesomes work. Excellent advice!

 

[blackstallion21]

Back to School...

I think I know what I'm going to do, but it's always wonderful to hear someone else's opinion...

I'm 31yo and I have come to a crossroads in life... my place of employment of over 8 years closed down and I'm in the process of relocation and starting over... only have about a year of schooling left, give or take (bachelors) but I have reservations about going back to school because I dropped out...

ADVICE PLZZZ

 

[Soma99]

I think I know what I'm going to do, but it's always wonderful to hear someone else's opinion...

I'm 31yo and I have come to a crossroads in life... my place of employment of over 8 years closed down and I'm in the process of relocation and starting over... only have about a year of schooling left, give or take (bachelors) but I have reservations about going back to school because I dropped out...

ADVICE PLZZZ

So other then getting stoned and watching "Back to School" I'm not sure what advice there is to give..... Should you finish your degree, yes for sure. Should you go back to an on campus program, yes obviously, but there are online programs you could do it through.

Here is the real advice:
Don't be scared to take a job at a place going out of business. Not like, there are signs in the window about a going out of business sale, but a place that's probably being phased out in a couple years.

A lot less pressure at a place like that, and chances are you will be allowed to do things above your pay grade that will sound great at your next interview. Who wants to sit in the same office for 20 straight years anyways? Your probably gonna be looking for a new job every few years anyways, so who cares if you leave the last place in ashes.

 

[blackstallion21]

Most appreciated and I didn't take a job at a plae that was going out, myself and 550 other employees got the wonderful news after last Christmas Season upon returning back to work and I DEF was allowed to do things outside of my pay grade on the way out!

Thanks... I am just going through some things today and it was nice to hear the opinion of a complete stranger!

 

[Soma99]

Fucking bumping this thread from 7 years ago-

I’m glad my life has changed so little in that time

Anyways- I’m wiser now and ready to give more advice.

 

[ShaneoD]

I was convinced my horny self would have posted in here already, maybe I took the easy way out and pm'd.

I wonder if there's anyone who'd want to do a "where are they now type" thing?

 

[Soma99]

I was convinced my horny self would have posted in here already, maybe I took the easy way out and pm'd.

I wonder if there's anyone who'd want to do a "where are they now type" thing?

There is not a question here that is looking for advice- I like you but you still need to follow the rules.

 

[ShaneoD]

While this question is completely antithetical to the purpose of lit what advice would you give to a horny guy trying not to masturbate ferociously for, say, hypothetically, 12 days?

 

[Soma99]

While this question is completely antithetical to the purpose of lit what advice would you give to a horny guy trying not to masturbate ferociously for, say, hypothetically, 12 days?

it’s hard to jerk off if your hands are busy-what you need to do is juggle- juggling really keeps your hands busy- so your gonna be that guy who’s always juggling. Now all the bitches are gonna want to be with the juggling guy so you’re gonna have to learn to juggle while running to avoid all the bitches.

Or maybe video games

 

[Soma99]

Soma, how does a man find more women with an appetite for porn like you have

your looking for bipolar chicks who you only have to deal with when they are happy.

All you need to do is make 4 friends. Then you and your friends get therapy licenses.

Once you have a few of us weirdos on your caseloads you start trading them with your new friends.

There you go- nothing to it

 

[Shanes_OralOrations]

your looking for bipolar chicks who you only have to deal with when they are happy.

All you need to do is make 4 friends. Then you and your friends get therapy licenses.

Once you have a few of us weirdos on your caseloads you start trading them with your new friends.

There you go- nothing to it

Hmm, sounds like you might have a questionable therapist. Or at least a great story idea.

 

[IARainman]

Fucking bumping this thread from 7 years ago-

I’m glad my life has changed so little in that time

Anyways- I’m wiser now and ready to give more advice.

I can’t think of a question for myself, but I’m keen to know what’s happened to those young minds you’ve been molding for 7 years.

 

[MrMikelobe1952]

When engaging in on-line sexual play and fantasies, should I be honest about my interests or pretend that I am into anything she says she's into?

 

[LostHorizon]

Dear Soma,

Is masturbating while stuck in bumper to bumper traffic considered distracted driving or an otherwise logical way to pass the time?

Sincerely,
Horny at Exit 25

 

[Soma99]

I can’t think of a question for myself, but I’m keen to know what’s happened to those young minds you’ve been molding for 7 years.

I can only give an update on one student.

Based on my peering through his houses windows once a month his dad is still smoking hot and his mother has not disappeared as of yet

I mean- I’m not EXPECTING this woman to disappear….. I’m just saying she has not.

Again NO REASON to think she is going to go missing…….

Daddy is making good use of that Peloton though……

 

[Soma99]

When engaging in on-line sexual play and fantasies, should I be honest about my interests or pretend that I am into anything she says she's into?

When engaging in on-line sexual play and fantasies, should I be honest about my interests or pretend that I am into anything she says she's into?

no- you should get some say in what is being covered- but you have to be honest about how weird your stuff is.

Like if your into gnome anal gangbangs, then when she wants to talk about getting spanked by her sorority sister then you gotta go with it.

Silly gnomes- never know what they are going to put where

 

[Soma99]

Dear Soma,

Is masturbating while stuck in bumper to bumper traffic considered distracted driving or an otherwise logical way to pass the time?

Sincerely,
Horny at Exit 25

Listen- never expose yourself to people who have not asked to see it- but I mean- traffics sucks …….

Hmmmmmm I will allow it if you don’t do any weird faces as you cum.

What’s the plan for the jizz though- like are you prepared for this with tissues in the car? Lots of fast food napkins???

Don’t you dare liter your cum tissues!!!!!!

 

[IARainman]

I can only give an update on one student.

Based on my peering through his houses windows once a month his dad is still smoking hot and his mother has not disappeared as of yet

I mean- I’m not EXPECTING this woman to disappear….. I’m just saying she has not.

Again NO REASON to think she is going to go missing…….

Daddy is making good use of that Peloton though……

I think I saw this story on lifetime (or was it dateline?)

 

[MrMikelobe1952]

I have work to get done.
Instead, here I am on Lit, fantasizing about the women who post on Lit.
What should I do?

 

[ouchfeelsgood]

Dear Soma,

Is it appropriate on a first date to ask a woman if she likes being tied down, teased and erotically tortured? I usually wait until I've at least treated her dinner, or at the minimum to a few strong drinks.

 

[Soma99]

I have work to get done.
Instead, here I am on Lit, fantasizing about the women who post on Lit.
What should I do?

You have two options, and only two options:

1- become an international hit man in order to become incredibly wealthy and then you will not need to work further, plus you will always be worried your past will come back to haunt you so you will never want a real
Relationship, hence lit becomes a further scar haven for you. You may also be able to find a new partner on here when you are inevitably pulled back in for one last job.

2- jerk off before work each morning

Your call but I know which one I’m hoping you choose.

 

[Soma99]

Dear Soma,

Is it appropriate on a first date to ask a woman if she likes being tied down, teased and erotically tortured? I usually wait until I've at least treated her dinner, or at the minimum to a few strong drinks.

This is ridiculous but that’s actually more of a pre first date, still chatting kinda question. If you do it that early and it’s worded just right it almost comes off as a joke, but also lets you know if a woman is a total prude.