Who wants questionable advice?
- Thread starter Soma99
- Start date
Soma99
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Oct 5, 2016
- Posts
- 4,010
I thought it was suppose to be a hypothetical question for fun. No worries, I don't think that type of escort service even exists. You'll still be able to get dates.
Note to self: start specialized escort service
This is a better idea than UBER. You should not post anything that good online.
Also now I have no excuse for being single, I'm not competing with hookers all the time.
LIVINRFANTASIES
In a Cornfield Near You
- Joined
- Feb 25, 2016
- Posts
- 11,156
Denny
Since I live a perfect life I don't need any advice. So I am here to assist in giving out some.
Never hire a whore. Never pay for sex. Just hang out at one of the neighborhood taverns and flirt with middle aged ladies. The most it will cost you are a few cheap domestic beers and maybe a Big Mac at the burger joint.
Once you start banging one of them in the back seat of your Toyota word will get around and you'll have more married pussy than you can handle. The great thing about married women is you don't have to support them or buy gifts.
Questionable? Maybe.
Who wants questionable advice?
Since I live a perfect life I don't need any advice. So I am here to assist in giving out some.
Never hire a whore. Never pay for sex. Just hang out at one of the neighborhood taverns and flirt with middle aged ladies. The most it will cost you are a few cheap domestic beers and maybe a Big Mac at the burger joint.
Once you start banging one of them in the back seat of your Toyota word will get around and you'll have more married pussy than you can handle. The great thing about married women is you don't have to support them or buy gifts.
Questionable? Maybe.
tnman03
Rustic rapscallion
- Joined
- Jan 19, 2015
- Posts
- 22,745
Haha! And secretly the winner will be the first to send me a pic of a furry...
I suspect your mailbox is blowing up about now....
Your mailbox is going to start blowing up too...
This thread has humor...I like it!!!
Sure, anything with Dinklage in it!!! That dude is damn-ass sexy!!! I'll bring the cheerios (the Aussie kind) and you bring the pickled onions. We'll munch and crunch as the tossees launch a thousand ships!
mnbreastluver
Hands On Approach
- Joined
- Nov 18, 2013
- Posts
- 86,655
Oh, I had an ever better idea but I guess I shouldn't tell you now.
You'll see me on the cover of Forbes someday though. Sorry, about you not wanting to be single any longer.
I suspect your mailbox is blowing up about now....
This thread has humor...I like it!!!
I wish...lol. I think I'm one of those girls that guys think has a box blowing up and so they don't bother...lol.
Soma99
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Oct 5, 2016
- Posts
- 4,010
OHHHHHHH SHIT!
You have stepped onto the wrong corner my friend!
I slept and drank my way through six years of college in order to have a degree that lets me tell kids not to sleep and drink their way through college!!!!
I will not accept your male agenda that wants to keep women from getting paid for the work they are doing!
#hookerequality
LIVINRFANTASIES
In a Cornfield Near You
- Joined
- Feb 25, 2016
- Posts
- 11,156
Denny
I believe in equal rights. Sometimes women should pay men for sex and they should buy the drinks.
PapaRomantic
Writing away...
- Joined
- Oct 1, 2016
- Posts
- 7,775
I have a problem I'd like your advice with. I find myself falling "in lust" with my female counselor, and I know it's taboo for a counselor to have physical contact with their clients and all, but this counselor really gives great advice. Is there any way I could convince this counselor that it would be okay and not cause me irreparable harm if we did naughty things on the couch in her office?
Ok, I'm really asking this for a friend.....
Ok, I'm really asking this for a friend.....
Soma99
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Oct 5, 2016
- Posts
- 4,010
Ok so this is tough.
Here is the move, buy a real sex doll that looks just like her. Make about 65 hours of video of you banging it. Don't go over 70 hours that's way to much. Then bring this to a session to show her how amazing the sex would be. Work for me every fucking time.
It getting hard to afford all these real dolls, I gotta stop fucking my therapists.
PapaRomantic
Writing away...
- Joined
- Oct 1, 2016
- Posts
- 7,775
I think that's good advice. So may I take your picture....I mean my counselor's picture - my friend take a picture.....shit, never mind. I'm so bad at this......
Soma99
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Oct 5, 2016
- Posts
- 4,010
First I have to ask, do you have a massive vagina?
If you have MVD (massive vagina disorder) then go with the big boy. That's just how the Tetris pieces that are your bodies fit together.
Obviously though you like tiny pecker boy more, or you would have already gone with mr. treelimb dick.
Give the little guy a try, however you need to be honest. You need to straight up tell him his nub will never please you. This way you can move past it and get creative.
Also make sure you film his reaction so that on your wedding day you can show everyone how open and honest your relationship has always been.
Last edited:
supafly9999
Experienced
- Joined
- Jun 10, 2013
- Posts
- 42
Ok, this is one of the best advice columns I'v ever read.
So there is this certain website I frequent where some members start threats and post pictures of themselves.. sometimes nude. While perusing said website, I discovered one of said threads that happened to contain images of a person from my past (a good friend, whom I'm no longer in touch with because life. No falling out). I have often wondered if I should reach out to said person and let them know I have enjoyed their thread and that I'm excited to discover we have this common interest.
That being said, I'm not wanting said person to be creeped out, or think I'm hoping/expecting some sort of reunion with benefits.
Thanks
So there is this certain website I frequent where some members start threats and post pictures of themselves.. sometimes nude. While perusing said website, I discovered one of said threads that happened to contain images of a person from my past (a good friend, whom I'm no longer in touch with because life. No falling out). I have often wondered if I should reach out to said person and let them know I have enjoyed their thread and that I'm excited to discover we have this common interest.
That being said, I'm not wanting said person to be creeped out, or think I'm hoping/expecting some sort of reunion with benefits.
Thanks
HumasWanderingWeiner
Don't call me Anthony
- Joined
- Apr 30, 2017
- Posts
- 1,566
Ok, this is one of the best advice columns I'v ever read.
So there is this certain website I frequent where some members start threats and post pictures of themselves.. sometimes nude. While perusing said website, I discovered one of said threads that happened to contain images of a person from my past (a good friend, whom I'm no longer in touch with because life. No falling out). I have often wondered if I should reach out to said person and let them know I have enjoyed their thread and that I'm excited to discover we have this common interest.
That being said, I'm not wanting said person to be creeped out, or think I'm hoping/expecting some sort of reunion with benefits.
Thanks
Tell them you were doing some research for some graduate work and during an assignment you came across this site. While perusing you came across his thread and was surprised to find him. Part of your research is on the topic he is writing about in his thread and you would like to talk to him further about it if he doesn't mind. Make sure he knows it's all academic in nature. That keeps him from getting too aroused and from suggesting the two of you watch some porn together.
Last edited:
Soma99
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Oct 5, 2016
- Posts
- 4,010
Ok, this is one of the best advice columns I'v ever read.
So there is this certain website I frequent where some members start threats and post pictures of themselves.. sometimes nude. While perusing said website, I discovered one of said threads that happened to contain images of a person from my past (a good friend, whom I'm no longer in touch with because life. No falling out). I have often wondered if I should reach out to said person and let them know I have enjoyed their thread and that I'm excited to discover we have this common interest.
That being said, I'm not wanting said person to be creeped out, or think I'm hoping/expecting some sort of reunion with benefits.
Thanks
This is the perfect time to creep someone out!!!
Start commenting a lot, then send them a message saying your impressed they still look good, then ask how their parents are doing, full on creep mode is the way to go.
Maybe send them some links to different blackmail stories! Your really missing out on some fun here!
W
weekender43
Guest
Ok here is my question:
In relation to an earlier inquiry, say this woman suffers from MVD, I'm assuming that is the correct medical term, and I don't have enough to touch all the sides at once, should I even try to continue or possibly try different angles like come at it from the side maybe?
In relation to an earlier inquiry, say this woman suffers from MVD, I'm assuming that is the correct medical term, and I don't have enough to touch all the sides at once, should I even try to continue or possibly try different angles like come at it from the side maybe?
Soma99
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Oct 5, 2016
- Posts
- 4,010
You ever see the way a gymnast point's their toes as they fly through the air in the vault?
Point your toes like that and go in foot first!!!!!! Use both legs if need be.
W
weekender43
Guest
Not much of a quiter, but if it comes to that...I think I'll give up. Thanks for the advice!
mnbreastluver
Hands On Approach
- Joined
- Nov 18, 2013
- Posts
- 86,655
So I have a neighbors dog that craps in my yard at my cabin . I had enough of it so I picked up the crap with a shovel and placed it on a table by their bonfire pit. They had guests up and seen me do it from their three season porch. Was I out of line to do that?
Soma99
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Oct 5, 2016
- Posts
- 4,010
Absolutely not. The reason you were not out of line is the fact that they saw you do it. You didn't try to hide, you had something to say and you said it.
Being comfortable with non-violent confrontation is a skill lost on most people. You would be amazed what you can get if you are comfortable with silent eye contact.
Try it at a restaurant sometime, ask the server for something you know they probably are supposed to say no to, they when they say "we can't" or whatever just say "Well it seems like you probably could."
Then say nothing and just hold eye contact. You'll get it.
