Tathagata
Lazarus Monkey
- Joined
- Feb 10, 2004
- Posts
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Re: Tathagata's Five Corners: An Analysis
And Now..can I tell you that much of that was not conscious?
sack said:Someone asked me to talk about Hynde's Berlin-Los Angeles. That would take hours! I prefer to go over what I consider to be a mini-masterpiece, Tathagata's Five Corners. My observations are in parentheses:
Five Corners
Crossroads.
Always crossroads.
That's where you go,
at midnight..
You know the story...
(The author could have single spaced these lines, as the astute Wicked Eve suggested, but that gives a different rhythm. Using blank lines in between gives a certain emphasis and heaviness to the writing. Crossroads (breath)...Always crossroads (breath). Can't you just feel the author's halting, the initial indecision? Personally, I think it was sheer brilliance to begin the poem this way!)
Ebb and pull
of culture and language,
dreams left melting on sidewalks,
rainbow sherbet puddle,
oil slick water,
bubble gum sticky,
hopscotch avoidance.
(There are some incredible lines here. "Dreams left melting on sidewalks", "Hopscotch avoidance". Notice the expert manipulation of syllables for each line.....3-6-7-5-4, which gives a natural rhythm to the entire paragraph!)
Home to daddy.
He who breathes you.
Who spreads the world out.
He has the gift, the words,
"Open sesame"
(Again, the double spaces lends emphasis here. Home to daddy...breath....He who breathes you...breath. Absolutely necessary and continues the pattern of the opening stanza.)
and Ali Baba's cave opens...
Riches undreamed of,
all yours for the taking.
(This is all one thought, thus the return to single spacing.)
He preens your wings and nudges you
from the nest.
The urge to fly greater
than the ego of comfort.
(See how masterful this is. Tathagata is tightening the screws a little at a time. Most people have felt this way at some period in their life. Change always takes a certain amount of risk and that is what the poet is tapping into here....)
Pop up wonder of candy stores
and meat markets ,smells of imported coffee,
smoked sausage and liquor,
rich tobacco ,and the scent
of lives lived,and stories told.
(a lovely imagery with the cool "pop up line" to take the description out of the ordinary.)
Snow globe reality,cocooned,
swaddled in love
and hugs.
The familiarity of pipe smoke,
and polished wood.
(here again Tath expertly evokes the comfortable feeling of the familiar. Remember how satisfying it was to know the snow in the globe would always settle to the bottom? Yes, our comfort is always "cocooned" and swaddled, this is a believable comparison.)
Life hangs in the air.
(the pause here leaves us hanging.)
Humid and real...
Each breath draws in
that miasma of perfume and sex and death.
(God that's powerful! Perfume, sex, and death go together so well, and define our five corners even more.)
Wrung out of blind alley romance,
and 4 am newsstands.
Blackened hearts
and blackened fingers.
(a fabulous structure here...the third line is a consequence of the first and the fourth line is a consequence of the second!)
Monoliths keep watch
over Mom and Pop groceria's.
Where the hand of kindness
smoothes a hair ribbon,
and slips a candy into
your princess purse.
(An interesting message. The "Big guys" (Monoliths) are keeping watch over the "Little guys" (Mom and Pop). I like the idea of a "hand of kindness" doing all those nice things. It reveals to me the heart of this poet.)
Memories pool at crossroads
slow syrup tar,cooled lava.
(I can visualize the lava and tar slowly harding as the individual wrestles with competing memories.)
Unable to make the leap to modern day.
(in other words, the actual action of change is always extremely difficult, since one needs to leap from the past.)
They wait
loyal dogs sad eyed and confused
for your return,
to 5 corners.
(This ending is both a surprise and a satisfying conclusion. Memories can always be "brought back" for further consideration. Moreover, the author suggests change is an ongoing process!)
That, to me is an absolutely expert poem, virtually beyond criticism. (which is why I NEVER public comment on Tath's poems....why should my drivel sully the pristine waters?)
Now, go back and read the original poem I brought up here and tell me there isn't a difference. Who was it that said "the difference between good and great.........." Both poems have potential, but this one really expresses its potential to the fullest. Thanks, Tath, for sharing your seemingly endless talent with us. I am overwhelmed....
Sack (weak in the knees after that poem!)
And Now..can I tell you that much of that was not conscious?
