Why are many Literotica poems so vague?

[Miss Oatlash]

Somebody spank that monkey.

ME!!! ME!!!

 

[Tathagata]

ME!!! ME!!!

I hate when you play hard to get

 

[sack]

An analysis of Wicked Eve's "I was fantasy"

This is another good example of a poem which uses vague language at times BUT IS ACTUALLY EXTREMELY VIVID!! (My comments are in parentheses.)

I Was Fantasy


Fragile fantasy unravels
when breath and motion
collide with same.

(A lesser poet might have said "collide with each other." "Collide with same" gives that extra added economy which all good poems must have.)

I was slender bending
in deepest thought,
liquid smooth,
pouring over, around.

(The first suggestion that "I" and "water" are one and the same. Simply marvelous word painting, I especially like "pouring over, around", which is exactly how water behaves.)


Now full and body,
an awkward stream meandering
through shy country,
over stone not yet polished.

(This is an interesting contradiction..."full and body"
would seem to be the opposite of "awkward" and "shy". Yet, I suppose someone could be complete yet shy at the same time, as the stones are "not yet polished". Is this a relationship not yet consummated? Hmmmm.....)

Wade in me,
then walk that field
to dry in distant place.

(Superb paring down of words. Experience the wetness (me), but then "dry off" in privacy.)

I was river up there
where dreams are.

(a nostalgic looking back at the dream.....your's, the author's, mine, whoever has experienced themself as fantasy.


Now I'll flow to the sea.

(and back to the beginning of the poem to complete the image of water running from and to its source.

This poem well deserves an "E" because Wicked Eve wisely doesn't give all the answers.....and there are many possible interpretations here besides my obvious one. So, the poem has an appealing vagueness without being merely a bunch of words stuck together in a clever fashion.

By the way, Wicked has submitted over 200 poems to lit. in just about a year, several of which have earned "H's" and "E's. Here's a trivia question for you all...has any Literotica poet garnered more "E"s than Wicked in a one year period?


Thanks for the inspiration, WE!!

Sack

 

[WickedEve]

Imagine talking with someone for years, then finally meeting. There are descriptions. There are photos. Yet, both people have their fantasy images. And then fantasy meets reality. In deep thought, in fantasy, I can be slender bending. I can be beautiful. Outside of fantasy, there is no perfection. He wades in me. He is wet in me. Then he leaves for home to dry, to be without me. I was river--I was perfect--up there in dreams.

Not that this about me...

 

[Maria2394]

Re: An analysis of Wicked Eve's "I was fantasy"

This is another good example of a poem which uses vague language at times BUT IS ACTUALLY EXTREMELY VIVID!! (My comments are in parentheses.)

I Was Fantasy


Fragile fantasy unravels
when breath and motion
collide with same.

(A lesser poet might have said "collide with each other." "Collide with same" gives that extra added economy which all good poems must have.)

I was slender bending
in deepest thought,
liquid smooth,
pouring over, around.

(The first suggestion that "I" and "water" are one and the same. Simply marvelous word painting, I especially like "pouring over, around", which is exactly how water behaves.)


Now full and body,
an awkward stream meandering
through shy country,
over stone not yet polished.

(This is an interesting contradiction..."full and body"
would seem to be the opposite of "awkward" and "shy". Yet, I suppose someone could be complete yet shy at the same time, as the stones are "not yet polished". Is this a relationship not yet consummated? Hmmmm.....)

Wade in me,
then walk that field
to dry in distant place.

(Superb paring down of words. Experience the wetness (me), but then "dry off" in privacy.)

I was river up there
where dreams are.

(a nostalgic looking back at the dream.....your's, the author's, mine, whoever has experienced themself as fantasy.


Now I'll flow to the sea.

(and back to the beginning of the poem to complete the image of water running from and to its source.

This poem well deserves an "E" because Wicked Eve wisely doesn't give all the answers.....and there are many possible interpretations here besides my obvious one. So, the poem has an appealing vagueness without being merely a bunch of words stuck together in a clever fashion.

By the way, Wicked has submitted over 200 poems to lit. in just about a year, several of which have earned "H's" and "E's. Here's a trivia question for you all...has any Literotica poet garnered more "E"s than Wicked in a one year period?



Sack

Check out Annaswirls' page, she got like 5 in one day, they are her conversation poems

 

[My Erotic Tale]

tigers tale

I assume that (sack) reads more poems
and comments more than most and I when
I read what's posted find fifty percent or less
of the poems vague~

curious me? I who till recently never supported
vague poetry

The poem was written as places
mistletoe is found that I encounter
Tath made a remark that reminds me
that some poems are for self visions explained
with words best selected at the time.

I think sacks request for a better
venue of poetry is alarming with the
need to encourage others who are
not as gifted or as experienced.
you suggest telling them not to post
or omit reading certain poets, which is an
understanding with repetition

wicked's the queen of vague but I
read her poems as a challenge, a puzzle
to see if I'm able to decifer it.

Neons poem the cage...vague
as vague but beautiful and understandable
by some, those who get it...

here's vague...
nobody has yet to tell me what this
correctly...now this is vague
silver slut

I've gone on an all out spree to learn
more about poetry and find that versatility
is as array as
a blanket of flowers in an open field

metaphor a key tool in creative descrption
in poetry, vague glimlets of painted words
to dance a journey of literary Art~

you want vague read Edgar Alan Poe~
and some of the others I just read,Tillman, Elliot

minsue also had a good point sometimes I may not
know why a poet wrote a poem but that I
felt good about reading it. Then usually read it again
to decifer or play with meanings. Not reconstruct
and re write what I can't see through their eyes
and try to write it for them.

Grammer...well give me an' F'
right maria???...hehehe
I am guilty of spell check in default
but I'm learning, so there for I hurdle
those who try to depict apart my
creations. And continue on the journey
to becoming a better poet by trial and error.
mistletoe was not in any way one of my better
poems but I like the holiday feel it gave me
writing it and re reading it. The visuals I get
from it are satisfying.

Thanks for the publicty sack~
and the topic in which raises eye brows
perhaps you should grade the amature
posted poems and scolorship those worthy
graded by you and jim~

I dont find this thread inspiring,
or encouraging...hehehe
questioning vague is one thing
dumping comments on one poem
and now disecting a poem written
for holiday cheer, I can only wonder where
I may have stepped on your toes? sack~

but then again I'm good at that...<grin>

vague ? dew drops diving to their death
or gripping for dear life
girls with legs in the air named 'missy' toes <geez>
glimmers of light
mingled words
frosted fingers
bee stinger stings

poetry is easy
poetry is in life,
in everything known
describing it is hard~
yet seeing it is easy

just because I don't understand
someone's poem doesn't mean it's not poetry
to someone else, the key to tranquility is
exceptance except peoples work for what
they created not how you can make it fit
your world better? I respect the prooning
of a bonsai, the continuous beautification
of a piece of art, in saying that every poem
written is a work in progress for afinity
and helpfull comments can only nuture it
to grow. Of course flood lights and constructive criticsm
words work for some. hehehey!
then I get the verbal electric shock theropy ~lmao
I mus b doin' sum thin write~

so I find the waters rippled when I read
this ~
(A lesser poet might have said "collide with each other." "Collide with same" gives that extra added economy which all good poems must have.)

I don't believe there are lesser poets
just gifted, experienced and new
your mind set may be at default here
and therefore you won't ever see anything
lesser than your limitations, your catorgories
your visions of being above someone else.

I liked the part in King Arthur where they
showed the round table. There were no head
of the table. all men equal with different stories
to tell, different quests , unified in the circle of life
sword of truth shield of honesty


okay the question...
why are many literotica poems so vague?

I would say that shining examples of poetry
come from anna wicked jim neon tath ~LIAR~
and so many more, and the trend I use to call it
is actually poetry at its best when done right.
so we struggle to achieve this goal with vague
poems with poor grammer, are they less a poem
if the words struck the heart? If we knew we would
never reach a level of perfection to satisfy the
majority should we just stop this beast that knaws
and claws with in our minds to spew in verse a
creation, a journey into our minds and souls with
literary bridges. Just curious?

 

[sack]

It all started with that fetal pig in 10th grade.....

And now I just can't stop dissecting things. You haven't stepped on my toes, Art, I just stepped on your "Tale" LOL!! My comments about any poem, no matter how negative, still pale to what I've read about certain stories in the Loving Wives category! I didn't get that your poem was about Christmas cheer, I didn't get it at all, that was the point. But..looks like a lot of people got something out of this thread, so I did a good deed, and gave you a little free publicity as well. Now carry on, use that spell checker, check your grammar and keep on showing us that natural ebullience, which along with your heart of gold, is your gift to the world!!


Sack-Ora (Tale's "Mad" poem inspired by my rantings)

 

[twelveoone]

Re: Tathagata's Five Corners: An Analysis

Someone asked me to talk about Hynde's Berlin-Los Angeles. That would take hours!


Ebb and pull
of culture and language,
dreams left melting on sidewalks,
rainbow sherbet puddle,
oil slick water,
bubble gum sticky,
hopscotch avoidance.


(There are some incredible lines here. "Dreams left melting on sidewalks", "Hopscotch avoidance". Notice the expert manipulation of syllables for each line.....3-6-7-5-4, which gives a natural rhythm to the entire paragraph!)


That, to me is an absolutely expert poem, virtually beyond criticism. (which is why I NEVER public comment on Tath's poems....why should my drivel sully the pristine waters?)


Sack (weak in the knees after that poem!)

Sack, what you did is notable, I took out the good parts, and left in the parts, I wish to question/ comment on:
That someone was me, you mentioned it, I wanted some examples.

3-6-7-5-4, here you count syllables, mention these numbers, what is the significance?

You make some very good points, observations, are you joking when you say you NEVER comment on Tath's poems? I hope you are joking.

 

[twelveoone]

Re: Re: The way I determine the worth of art, music, writing...

Tath and 1201, I always said you guys were smart.

Thank you, Tara, I suspect we have the same common ancestor, somewhere.

I am honoured to have been put in the same sentence with Tath.

 

[twelveoone]

Re: An analysis of Wicked Eve's "I was fantasy"

This is another good example of a poem which uses vague language at times BUT IS ACTUALLY EXTREMELY VIVID!! (My comments are in parentheses.)

I Was Fantasy


Fragile fantasy unravels
when breath and motion
collide with same.

(A lesser poet might have said "collide with each other." "Collide with same" gives that extra added economy which all good poems must have.)

I was slender bending
in deepest thought,
liquid smooth,
pouring over, around.

(The first suggestion that "I" and "water" are one and the same. Simply marvelous word painting, I especially like "pouring over, around", which is exactly how water behaves.)


Now full and body,
an awkward stream meandering
through shy country,
over stone not yet polished.

(This is an interesting contradiction..."full and body"
would seem to be the opposite of "awkward" and "shy". Yet, I suppose someone could be complete yet shy at the same time, as the stones are "not yet polished". Is this a relationship not yet consummated? Hmmmm.....)

Wade in me,
then walk that field
to dry in distant place.

(Superb paring down of words. Experience the wetness (me), but then "dry off" in privacy.)

I was river up there
where dreams are.

(a nostalgic looking back at the dream.....your's, the author's, mine, whoever has experienced themself as fantasy.


Now I'll flow to the sea.

(and back to the beginning of the poem to complete the image of water running from and to its source.

This poem well deserves an "E" because Wicked Eve wisely doesn't give all the answers.....and there are many possible interpretations here besides my obvious one. So, the poem has an appealing vagueness without being merely a bunch of words stuck together in a clever fashion.

By the way, Wicked has submitted over 200 poems to lit. in just about a year, several of which have earned "H's" and "E's. Here's a trivia question for you all...has any Literotica poet garnered more "E"s than Wicked in a one year period?


Thanks for the inspiration, WE!!

Sack

No questions here, again notable.

 

[twelveoone]

Re: It all started with that fetal pig in 10th grade.....

And now I just can't stop dissecting things.

(sets him up for the Big Question)
sack, I have been introducing poets in something called the Interact series, there should be a thread around here that explains it. I think it was a noble experiment, at times I think it had real value. I would like it to continue for awhile. You use simple language, easily understandable, I think that is important.
I think a lot of good people have been missed. I will no longer do it, I wish to work on some things (I suspect the job was given to me, to prevent that).
Will you take it over? I would be happy to compile a list of people that I have requests for. I do contact them before hand, ask them if they wish to do.

You started this thread, inflammed alot of people, all good things, what say?

 

[sack]

yeah, sure....

I always wondered who did that excellent Interact series. People probably will be afraid I'll dissect their work! Well, I won't be Little Miss Susie Sunshine, but I would emphasize the positive...LOL! Sack

 

[sack]

oops I forgot....

Tath can probably verify that I have indeed never left a public comment on his works....and this from the Public Comment Whore! There is simply nothing to say....kind of like when you hear a great piece of music for the first time, or take in an extraordinary painting....no words come!



Sack

 

[sack]

Oh yes, the syllables....

In that section of Five Corners, the syllables create a natural arc, whereby the sentences get gradually longer to the third, then gradually shorter through the fifth, with mathematical precision. (note 3+6=5+4) The conscious result is that these lines flow from one to the other especially well, which further enhances the total poem!


Sack

 

[twelveoone]

Re: yeah, sure....

I always wondered who did that excellent Interact series. People probably will be afraid I'll dissect their work! Well, I won't be Little Miss Susie Sunshine, but I would emphasize the positive...LOL! Sack

If they can put up with me....
Give me a couple of days. To get the list.
and if anyone deserves credit for it being excellent , it was the AUTHORS.
This will give me a chance, to pop in, with vague, effusive praise, win friends (I'm up to three, would like to get that number up to twelve to match the fingers on my hands)

 

[Lauren Hynde]

I'm confused again. Could any of you tell me how do you define vague poetry?

 

[Tathagata]

I'm confused again. Could any of you tell me how do you define vague poetry?

well I think, I mean, I'm not so sure
you say " piercing the void"
instead of open the door

the sun is an orb
the sky azure plain
and we say tears from heaven
instead of soft summer rain

nothing, it seems, can be taken for granted
was it a love poem
a sonnet
or just something ranted

does he mean heartache?
why can't he just say it?
is she talking of sex
why must she every which way it?

all this "analazation"
what if something I miss?
well the whole point is ruined
what kind of fun this?

I want my rhymes tight
not loose as a goose
so for my own enjoyment
I read Dr Suess

 

[WickedEve]

I'm confused again. Could any of you tell me how do you define vague poetry?

Not clearly expressed; inexplicit.
Not thinking or expressing oneself clearly.
Lacking definite shape, form, or character; indistinct
Not clear in meaning or application.
Indistinctly felt, perceived, understood, or recalled; hazy

Above are the definitions of vague. Isn't it possible that only the reader can apply them to any given poem? What may be vague to one reader may not be to another.

 

[Tathagata]

Not clearly expressed; inexplicit.
Not thinking or expressing oneself clearly.
Lacking definite shape, form, or character; indistinct
Not clear in meaning or application.
Indistinctly felt, perceived, understood, or recalled; hazy

Above are the definitions of vague. Isn't it possible that only the reader can apply them to any given poem? What may be vague to one reader may not be to another.

that AV is vaguely pornographic....
lets make it clear

 

[WickedEve]

that AV is vaguely pornographic....
lets make it clear

Uh! I was trying to make a semi-intelligent comment and you're looking at my barely covered no-nos!




That's okay, though.

 

[Tathagata]

Uh! I was trying to make a semi-intelligent comment and you're looking at my barely covered no-nos!




That's okay, though.

no-no's???


Bwaaaaaaaaaaahahaha

if i've ever seen anything in my life that said " yes yes" it's that AV

 

[WickedEve]

no-no's???


Bwaaaaaaaaaaahahaha

if i've ever seen anything in my life that said " yes yes" it's that AV

No... look to the left. A little further. Further. Okay, see it? It's a maybe.

 

[Tathagata]

No... look to the left. A little further. Further. Okay, see it? It's a maybe.

yeah but the breasts and eyes and hair and the dress are all " yes"

i'm old
I can sense these things

 

[WickedEve]

yeah but the breasts and eyes and hair and the dress are all " yes"

i'm old
I can sense these things

Either you have no sense or it's all too vague. I'm sure I once sent you a PM that gave you directions to my house. And there was a photo attached of my naked body with arrows painted on the thighs. You never responded. I was too vague, wasn't I?

 

[twelveoone]

Re: Oh yes, the syllables....

In that section of Five Corners, the syllables create a natural arc, whereby the sentences get gradually longer to the third, then gradually shorter through the fifth, with mathematical precision. (note 3+6=5+4) The conscious result is that these lines flow from one to the other especially well, which further enhances the total poem!


Sack

Interesting, I rarely see numbers of syllables discussed, outside of rules for forms. Is there a therory behind this, for poetry?
You must like Mozart?