Why Daddy?

[Netzach]

A lot of the queer dad/son mom/girl couples don't really deal in terms of childlike behavior (dependent and childlike will often get you slapped upside the head) - I have my theories for why they're powerful in that context and it has to do with the common rejection of one's biological family and the importance of chosen family in queer culture. There's a very strong obsession with and longing for "home" and the fact that GLBT people often have to create home and family on their own. So it makes sense to me in that way - leather boys are generally more independent, less TPE, less "property" than slaves are.

 

[Evil_Geoff]

A lot of the queer dad/son mom/girl couples don't really deal in terms of childlike behavior (dependent and childlike will often get you slapped upside the head) - I have my theories for why they're powerful in that context and it has to do with the common rejection of one's biological family and the importance of chosen family in queer culture. There's a very strong obsession with and longing for "home" and the fact that GLBT people often have to create home and family on their own. So it makes sense to me in that way - leather boys are generally more independent, less TPE, less "property" than slaves are.

I can certainly see the logic and process behind that sort of relationship building. It may apply somewhat in danielle's case because her bio father left their family when she was very young. Hmmm.... Come to think of it, those of us who are/were close to Master Doug called him "Papa", even me...

*wanders off in thought...*

 

[chris9]

I can certainly see the logic and process behind that sort of relationship building. It may apply somewhat in danielle's case because her bio father left their family when she was very young. Hmmm.... Come to think of it, those of us who are/were close to Master Doug called him "Papa", even me...

*wanders off in thought...*

I posted in the other thread that's linked on the first page of this thread that calling someone 'Daddy' probably does not push the buttons for me it seems to be pushing for others, because I never call my father 'Daddy' (duh ) I would have a major problem calling anyone but my father "Papa". It's what I've called him always, it's his name as far as I'm concerned, but it's like Mama. There is one person on this world called Papa, and it's not some Dom I might mean.

 

[Kajira Callista]

Why Daddy?...

Why not?

 

[FurryFury]

I love the whole Daddy Dom thing. At least the idea of it that I have in MY mind. I can't speak to anyone else's idea of it. The idea that you can totally trust him to take charge, take care of, to love and cherish you.

The idea of being put over his lap and spanked is delicious to me. Also I like the idea of being cuddled in his lap. Or him brushing my hair because he wants to would be very hot to me. These are all wonderful images to me.

Am I an adult? Hell yes. I take more responsibility and am more in charge than most of the people around me seem to be. I never forget that. I would fight letting go of certain things. Others I would enjoy letting go of to someone I trusted.

Do or did I want to fuck my Dad? Maybe. Certainly it seemed like everyone else did. LOL. I turned him down though and ordered him out of my bed. I did fuck him in my dreams after he died. That to me is a separate issue however, one not quite resolved but separate from the whole Daddy Dom issue.

Have I age played or incest played? Why yes I have, here and there online. It's not my thing but it can be fun. Again, this to me is a separate issue from calling a Dominant, Daddy.

What feels right to you? Calling him that (whatever it is) as long as it's a loving and respectful term that you both understand and like the dynamics of is all that matters. If the rest of the world doesn't get it or want to use that term, that's fine too. It's not about anyone else. It's about two (or more) people and what they want. It's about what they feel is the right term for them.

I like being called little girl at the right time and in the right way. Ditto Princess. I believe deep inside of each of us is a little girl or a little boy (for that matter I believe that inside the oldest animal is a baby whatever) that still has needs and possibly repatriations to be taken care of. I think at least on a subconscious level a great deal of why we pick who we do and what goes on in our relationships are about that. When we find someone who can do that for us, on a conscious level, who wants to do that for us, why, that to me is a magical and blessed thing.

Fury

 

[Rubnesque]

I love the whole Daddy Dom thing. At least the idea of it that I have in MY mind. I can't speak to anyone else's idea of it. The idea that you can totally trust him to take charge, take care of, to love and cherish you.

The idea of being put over his lap and spanked is delicious to me. Also I like the idea of being cuddled in his lap. Or him brushing my hair because he wants to would be very hot to me. These are all wonderful images to me.

Am I an adult? Hell yes. I take more responsibility and am more in charge than most of the people around me seem to be. I never forget that. I would fight letting go of certain things. Others I would enjoy letting go of to someone I trusted.

Do or did I want to fuck my Dad? Maybe. Certainly it seemed like everyone else did. LOL. I turned him down though and ordered him out of my bed. I did fuck him in my dreams after he died. That to me is a separate issue however, one not quite resolved but separate from the whole Daddy Dom issue.

Have I age played or incest played? Why yes I have, here and there online. It's not my thing but it can be fun. Again, this to me is a separate issue from calling a Dominant, Daddy.

What feels right to you? Calling him that (whatever it is) as long as it's a loving and respectful term that you both understand and like the dynamics of is all that matters. If the rest of the world doesn't get it or want to use that term, that's fine too. It's not about anyone else. It's about two (or more) people and what they want. It's about what they feel is the right term for them.

I like being called little girl at the right time and in the right way. Ditto Princess. I believe deep inside of each of us is a little girl or a little boy (for that matter I believe that inside the oldest animal is a baby whatever) that still has needs and possibly repatriations to be taken care of. I think at least on a subconscious level a great deal of why we pick who we do and what goes on in our relationships are about that. When we find someone who can do that for us, on a conscious level, who wants to do that for us, why, that to me is a magical and blessed thing.

Fury

That's a very beautiful thought.

 

[bustyblondebombshell]

I love the whole Daddy Dom thing. At least the idea of it that I have in MY mind. I can't speak to anyone else's idea of it. The idea that you can totally trust him to take charge, take care of, to love and cherish you.

The idea of being put over his lap and spanked is delicious to me. Also I like the idea of being cuddled in his lap. Or him brushing my hair because he wants to would be very hot to me. These are all wonderful images to me.

Am I an adult? Hell yes. I take more responsibility and am more in charge than most of the people around me seem to be. I never forget that. I would fight letting go of certain things. Others I would enjoy letting go of to someone I trusted.

Do or did I want to fuck my Dad? Maybe. Certainly it seemed like everyone else did. LOL. I turned him down though and ordered him out of my bed. I did fuck him in my dreams after he died. That to me is a separate issue however, one not quite resolved but separate from the whole Daddy Dom issue.

Have I age played or incest played? Why yes I have, here and there online. It's not my thing but it can be fun. Again, this to me is a separate issue from calling a Dominant, Daddy.

What feels right to you? Calling him that (whatever it is) as long as it's a loving and respectful term that you both understand and like the dynamics of is all that matters. If the rest of the world doesn't get it or want to use that term, that's fine too. It's not about anyone else. It's about two (or more) people and what they want. It's about what they feel is the right term for them.

I like being called little girl at the right time and in the right way. Ditto Princess. I believe deep inside of each of us is a little girl or a little boy (for that matter I believe that inside the oldest animal is a baby whatever) that still has needs and possibly repatriations to be taken care of. I think at least on a subconscious level a great deal of why we pick who we do and what goes on in our relationships are about that. When we find someone who can do that for us, on a conscious level, who wants to do that for us, why, that to me is a magical and blessed thing.

Fury

For the most part, I agree wholeheartedly with your perpective....

The only part I can't relate to is my Father - never had any thoughts of the sort.

I think its about being cherished, loved and adored, but not having the upperhand. I appreciate the innocence, the omission of responsibility on my part, and decisions being made for me.

I'm sure none of that is coherent, and sorry for that, I guess I'm just trying to say that I appreciate the whole Daddy thing I guess

 

[FurryFury]

For the most part, I agree wholeheartedly with your perpective....

The only part I can't relate to is my Father - never had any thoughts of the sort.

I think its about being cherished, loved and adored, but not having the upperhand. I appreciate the innocence, the omission of responsibility on my part, and decisions being made for me.

I'm sure none of that is coherent, and sorry for that, I guess I'm just trying to say that I appreciate the whole Daddy thing I guess

Well, you didn't know my Dad. LOL. He was something else in so many ways. It's complicated, and hard to explain but not really important for the purposes of this thread.

I thought what you said was coherent!

I agree about it not being about having the upper hand, being bratty or Sammy for me. It's about trust, being loved, and not being judged except in positive ways.

When someone knows the "bad" things about your, your fears, insecurities, baggage and so on but still admires, supports and cherishes you, well that is a beautiful thing IMO. It's not exclusive to a D/s relationship but these are some of the things I see in my relationships with both my husband and my online Dom.

Fury

 

[babiesmiles]

Fury I like your way of thinking .... *hugs*

 

[FurryFury]

Fury I like your way of thinking .... *hugs*

*hugs back*

Thanks!

Fury

 

[the captians wench]

One of the reasons my ex gave me for his not being able to handle me (his words) is that I just seemed too innocent, too child like. It's really funny because I do notice that those people around me seem to be very pertective of me, and also seem to want to spoil me as much as posible. He said that there's just something about me, about the way I see the world, that just seems happy, perfect, like a child views things. After a year of rough roads that almost took that out look away from me, I'm finally back to that perky "lil girl" again.

I love playing the baby girl, not that we really do the whole daddy/lil girl thing, but I guess in some ways you have to with me. *giggles* Just some times I feel like I have so much happiness in me that it has to bubble out, *giggles* and that usually means some tack time for being cheeky. (and comments about the "old man") *giggles*

Do I call him daddy? no, and I don't think I ever could call anyone daddy. My father and I do not have a happy relationship, and my step-dad (who I concider my real father and who died almost 5 years ago) and I have(had) issues that I'm still trying to work thru even after his passing. I couldn't do it, and I've struggled when I've heard other people do it, but I get past that.

Basically, my Love, and those who are permitted to play with me, show me that I'm cherished and cared for. They cuddle me and wrap me in this warm blanket that makes me feel like the world is the happy perfect place I tend to believe it is. It's in my nature to be bubbly, perky, giggly *giggles* and yes maybe a bit child like, and some one who would want to stiful that would be snuffing out the bubble inside of me, what makes me me, so that wouldn't work.

 

[lil_slave_rose]

For the most part, I agree wholeheartedly with your perpective....

The only part I can't relate to is my Father - never had any thoughts of the sort.

I think its about being cherished, loved and adored, but not having the upperhand. I appreciate the innocence, the omission of responsibility on my part, and decisions being made for me.

I'm sure none of that is coherent, and sorry for that, I guess I'm just trying to say that I appreciate the whole Daddy thing I guess

all of these things i get from 'Master' as well. it's not so much about 'decisions being made for me' Master makes the decisions anyway, it's the innocence, the love of my Daddy in that moment, curling up on His lap, being put over His knee, the whole playfulness of the Daddy/princess dynamic.... that's all

 

[chris9]

One of the reasons my ex gave me for his not being able to handle me (his words) is that I just seemed too innocent, too child like. It's really funny because I do notice that those people around me seem to be very pertective of me, and also seem to want to spoil me as much as posible. He said that there's just something about me, about the way I see the world, that just seems happy, perfect, like a child views things. After a year of rough roads that almost took that out look away from me, I'm finally back to that perky "lil girl" again.

I love playing the baby girl, not that we really do the whole daddy/lil girl thing, but I guess in some ways you have to with me. *giggles* Just some times I feel like I have so much happiness in me that it has to bubble out, *giggles* and that usually means some tack time for being cheeky. (and comments about the "old man") *giggles*

Do I call him daddy? no, and I don't think I ever could call anyone daddy. My father and I do not have a happy relationship, and my step-dad (who I concider my real father and who died almost 5 years ago) and I have(had) issues that I'm still trying to work thru even after his passing. I couldn't do it, and I've struggled when I've heard other people do it, but I get past that.

Basically, my Love, and those who are permitted to play with me, show me that I'm cherished and cared for. They cuddle me and wrap me in this warm blanket that makes me feel like the world is the happy perfect place I tend to believe it is. It's in my nature to be bubbly, perky, giggly *giggles* and yes maybe a bit child like, and some one who would want to stiful that would be snuffing out the bubble inside of me, what makes me me, so that wouldn't work.

All the life stuff aside, only the character description, I could have written. And I didn't even know... Thanks, wenchie!

 

[Betticus]

Why not daddy?

There is a certain value to a girls innocence and playfulness that I love as I can feel some of this through her and to me it is beautiful.

I'm far from innocent anymore and can't help but to see the bad things in life, the bad things in people and take some joy in the suffering of others. Within a daddy/girl type of relationship, with her, I can set some of this aside.

There is a lot more to it than that of course but one thing it is not for me is age play. I did once get approached by a girl who wanted me to be her daddy while she lived as a four year old but that squick factor let me know that this would never be something that I would be into.

So, for me it's a give and take kind of dynamic. She has a need to be protected from the evils and meanness of the world and I have a need to feel something innocent. Preferably curled up next to me.

 

[chris9]

Why not daddy?

There is a certain value to a girls innocence and playfulness that I love as I can feel some of this through her and to me it is beautiful.

I'm far from innocent anymore and can't help but to see the bad things in life, the bad things in people and take some joy in the suffering of others. Within a daddy/girl type of relationship, with her, I can set some of this aside.

There is a lot more to it than that of course but one thing it is not for me is age play. I did once get approached by a girl who wanted me to be her daddy while she lived as a four year old but that squick factor let me know that this would never be something that I would be into.

So, for me it's a give and take kind of dynamic. She has a need to be protected from the evils and meanness of the world and I have a need to feel something innocent. Preferably curled up next to me.

You do seem to have a serious period...

 

[the captians wench]

All the life stuff aside, only the character description, I could have written. And I didn't even know... Thanks, wenchie!

 

[Betticus]

You do seem to have a serious period...

It seems to be becoming a habit.

 

[blklthrjkt]

Being a Leather Daddy myself I have always had mixed feelings about the term. I like having my boy think of me as his Daddy, but I prefer him to call me Sir. For some reason the word "Daddy" makes me feel old.

Do we engage in age play? Nope absolutely not. I like my boy being an adult, and he likes me being just a little older than him, not old enough to be his father.
The boy thing for me and him is about being playful and trusting. As his Daddy, I am supportive yet able to discipline when necessary. What we do in the dungeon and bedroom are not analogs of a father/son relationship, but they have the emotional attachment of a family situation.

Confusing? Yep. But we enjoy it and so do lots of other Daddy/boy couples.

 

[Betticus]

Being a Leather Daddy myself I have always had mixed feelings about the term. I like having my boy think of me as his Daddy, but I prefer him to call me Sir. For some reason the word "Daddy" makes me feel old.

Do we engage in age play? Nope absolutely not. I like my boy being an adult, and he likes me being just a little older than him, not old enough to be his father.
The boy thing for me and him is about being playful and trusting. As his Daddy, I am supportive yet able to discipline when necessary. What we do in the dungeon and bedroom are not analogs of a father/son relationship, but they have the emotional attachment of a family situation.

Confusing? Yep. But we enjoy it and so do lots of other Daddy/boy couples.

Sounds similar to the daddy/girl relationships.

 

[Rubnesque]

Being a Leather Daddy myself I have always had mixed feelings about the term. I like having my boy think of me as his Daddy, but I prefer him to call me Sir. For some reason the word "Daddy" makes me feel old.

Do we engage in age play? Nope absolutely not. I like my boy being an adult, and he likes me being just a little older than him, not old enough to be his father.
The boy thing for me and him is about being playful and trusting. As his Daddy, I am supportive yet able to discipline when necessary. What we do in the dungeon and bedroom are not analogs of a father/son relationship, but they have the emotional attachment of a family situation.

Confusing? Yep. But we enjoy it and so do lots of other Daddy/boy couples.

I have a gay friend who's been in a committed relationship for nearly 2 years now. I asked him once if they were monogamous and he said, "only with our emotions, dear heart." I then probed deeper and discovered that their play does consist of "daddy" that they dont do with any of their other lovers/toys. Apparently, like you, they view the "daddy" issue (no pun intended) as a loving act.

 

[FurryFury]

That's a very beautiful thought.

Thanks!



*smiles*

Fury

 

[Etoile]

I am in a queer Daddy/girl relationship. For us, the use of "Daddy" is twofold. First of all, there is a 20 year age difference between us, and people are able to have children by that age. But also, there's the nurturing aspect - not just in the BDSM sense, but as osg said it's like a caretaking, personal growth thing too. It's not that I call em Daddy, but rather e is Daddy. I grew up without a father, so it's not an incest thing for me (and isn't for most D/g couples afaik)...it's just our particular relationship dynamic.

I think "Mommy" is far less common than "Daddy" but I'm not sure why.

 

[Rubnesque]

I think "Mommy" is far less common than "Daddy" but I'm not sure why.

So even in lesbian couples, "daddy" is used. Interesting.

 

[MechaBlade]

I've never understood what is such a turn on for guys/Doms to hear their girls/subs call them Daddy. Or why some girls get off on calling their boyfriends/Masters this. I was once requested to call a lover this and being the game girl I am, I did. Nothing. I had no response other than a slight desire to gigle, which of course I stifled, but still.

What does it do for you?

I don't like it much. Makes me think about my family or hers. And a daddy-daughter relationship makes me think of a relationship one tries to get her to be independent and chaste, and to do it without punishment, if possible. Which is the complete opposite of what I want to do with subs.

 

[Netzach]

So even in lesbian couples, "daddy" is used. Interesting.

I've seen Mommy for femmes, Daddy for butches and those along the more masculine spectrum, even for femmes who freak out about "Mommy". For some reason I think "Mommy" creeps a lot of people out. But that's what makes it hot for me - I've love a girl to do those kinds of scenes with - the full on creepy loaded ones.

"Don't you want Mommy to think you love her?"