Why do you think the vanilla world gets wiggy with bdsm?

[catalina_francisco]

ADR and Catalina, you two are SICK. LOL

And don't you just love it?!! Everyone knows only perverts are into this lifestyle..don't they?

 

[A Desert Rose]

And one more....

 

[Desdemona]

And don't you just love it?!! Everyone knows only perverts are into this lifestyle..don't they?

what??? There are perverts here???

 

[esclave_PP]

lol where....

 

[esclave_PP]

perverts you say...

lol where....

 

[BlueSugar]

I've had a bunch of talks with Vanillas and soaked up their reactions to certain situations, porno clips, and just talking about "rougher sex."

Alot of them are hung up on the "why would you cause someone else pain, in a pleasureable circumstance"
or the "a women is a delicate being, I'm not going to hurt her at all ever, i'm not even going to fuck her too hard."
They feel protective or too scared to cause pain, bc pain is a bad then and then they'll stop, or cry or whatever.

Some are hung up on the "if its rough, and involved bondage" its a kind of rape and they don't want to get introuble... incase she did call rape anyway ... even if it was planned.

Most just don't understand why leather, and spankings, dominant submissive, respect, denial aspects of it all.

::shrugs::
but those of those, who saw it "freakish" and "wrong" and made a big show of saying they were not into it and its just about normal sex ... ugh... I wanted to hit them, they wouldn't even be open minded enough to talk or have it in conversation around them.

Secretly... I think they are supressing their needs to be swatted by an experienced paddler

 

[Lady Emerald]

I don't get wiggy with it, if you mean that I condemn BDSM relationships out of hand without knowing the particulars. But there are two major obstacles in the way for most people who run across unfamiliar lifestyle practices.

One, they aren't inclined to ask about the genuine details of someone else's private life (especially when they almost always equate BDSM with specifically sexual kinks) and so they will rely on their own assumptions and information or misinformation. When I needed to know more about some ideas that I do not subscribe to, I came here to get it from the horse's mouth, but I think I am an exception.

Two, some aspects of some BDSM practices are distinguishable from criminal abuse only by the element of consent, and in legal reality, sometimes not even then. If a man whips, cuts or physically confines his wife or girlfriend, he can go to jail for it no matter what she says. Prosecution is up to the district attorney, not the "victim". Even if a man only accepts a woman's service as her master in BDSM terms, he is liable to be despised as a Neanderthal throwback, at the very least. I cannot explain what I have learned about BDSM to most of my feminist-identified friends; it doesn't accord with their value systems, and so they dismiss it out of hand.
MM

I think that's a really good point. So much of BDSM, submission and so on can seem to conflict with equality legislation---. I think a lot of people believe that even if a woman says "please tie me up and fuck me senseless" she doesn't REALLY mean it--she has been brainwashed or intimidated in some way.
If you look at the role of married women in the 50s practically all of their day to day behaviour of cleaning, service, presentation and so on could be described as submissive. Also she was expected to do just whatever her husband wanted in the bedroom. Back then nobody thought it strange that a woman serve her husband in this way because it was the norm and expected. The big difference, of course, is choice and consent. Back then women didn't have the choice.
I think now, many women fear a return to that situation if D/s became more popular or acceptable.

 

[catalina_francisco]

For myself, having a strong element of feminism in my life in all facets, the feminists who would and do judge BDSM as against feminist principles are speaking out of their own ignorance and misunderstanding of the relationship/lifestyle, and neglecting one of the main standpoints of feminism which advocates choice for any woman to direct her life in the way she advocates as best for herself. Feminism is mistaken often as an easy philosophy to adopt or discard, when in reality, to remain true to the principles often tests the strongest of us through the natural propensity to attach our own values and ethics to the lifestyles of all. The success is in remembering your choice is not necessarily another's, and as a feminist not confusing and condemning something which is consensual with that which is not, and supporting the right of all women to live the life they choose.

Catalina

 

[James G 5]

Vanillas are so intolerant and close-minded.

If only they were like wonderful BDSMers. I mean, people in BDSM are always tolerant, always open-minded, never pre-judge people, never try to cram others into their narrow view of humanity, and certainly never think others are wrong because they’re doing something differently.

And they excrete strawberry yogurt. Can’t forget the strawberry yogurt.

That must explain why the subs never complain when I order them to tongue my rectum

 

[landcruisergal]

Ignorance engenders fear.
Any difference, be it physical, religious, racial, sexual or class, results in prejudice from those folk, too narrowminded to look beyond their opinion of normality. Its outside their comfort zone.And we cant condemn them for that.
I consider myself lucky that I live in a pretty tolerant era; I have no fear of someone throwing a brick through my window or spitting on me in the street, or neighbours reporting my every move to a husband.I doubt whether I would be able to enjoy my freedom of choice if I was born 20 years earlier.
Fuck what people think, and I dont watch tv anymore... its all editted and altered anyhow. Newspapers arent there to report facts, they are just interested in selling newspapers.
Dont believe the hype...

 

[AvaAdore]

And one more....

what's sad is that at least where i live (new zealand), soda is cheaper than water. how fucked up is that???