With Apologies To The Patient Ones

[Mac98]

Oh, okay. Phew.

I'm still very respecting and polite . Sometimes, though, we just need to say "fugg it!" and have fun.

 

[culloden]

Wrong choice of words, sorry. haha I don't like getting people angry. I won't insult someone for the fun of it (unless I feel the person is being out of place in which I usually tend to get very irritated and insulting), I meant it more as, for example, jumping fences, climbing buildings, going to drive throughs with ridiculous orders... you know, boys will be boys, type of thing. I'm only a teen once, I'll make the best of this time before it becomes "immature for my age".

But I didn't mean it as I go out of my way to anger people. Example: The number 1 greatest adrenaline rush is running from the police... even when you're 100% innocent, running from the police is more fun than anyone could imagine... as long as you are innocent, though... I doubt the same can be said if you've just robbed a bank or shot someone.. yeesh!

Dude - you're only a teen? I'm closer to 50 - hell, I could be your grandfather almost. I thought you were in your twenties, at least. The way you were talking about having bad luck with women, it sounded like a decade long dry spell. Relax. Be patient. You've got plenty of time to find your sea legs. Definitely go after the girl, but don't worry. At your age, the odds of her being the one are slim. I know, it doesn't feel that way. And maybe she is. But be open to others.

 

[Mac98]

Dude - you're only a teen? I'm closer to 50 - hell, I could be your grandfather almost. I thought you were in your twenties, at least. The way you were talking about having bad luck with women, it sounded like a decade long dry spell. Relax. Be patient. You've got plenty of time to find your sea legs. Definitely go after the girl, but don't worry. At your age, the odds of her being the one are slim. I know, it doesn't feel that way. And maybe she is. But be open to others.

Technically... I am in my 20s... my teen years are just stretched a bit, that's all .

Besides, I'm more than open to others. I've repeated this again and again... but "others" don't seem to be very open to me. Or maybe the universe decided to test my faith and put every possible obstacle on my path (in this domain). I know it's not the end for me, but like I said, I've had this girl stuck in my mind for years... YEARS!! You know how insane that is?? How unhealthy it is?? I HAVE to find a way to move on because I am on the verge of losing my fragile little mind!

I don't expect to end up married to this girl. I don't even expect any type of attention watsoever on her part. I just expect to set all this ridiculous drama straight and move on with my life, regardless the outcome of my telling her how I've felt about her all this time.

Just cuz I'm young doesn't mean the love I feel for some people isn't as strong *rolling eyes* (sorry, I can't get that emoticon to work for some reason).

PS. My father is "closer to 50". So you're in no way close to being considered a grandfather... you've still got time

 

[culloden]

Technically... I am in my 20s... my teen years are just stretched a bit, that's all .

Besides, I'm more than open to others. I've repeated this again and again... but "others" don't seem to be very open to me. Or maybe the universe decided to test my faith and put every possible obstacle on my path (in this domain). I know it's not the end for me, but like I said, I've had this girl stuck in my mind for years... YEARS!! You know how insane that is?? How unhealthy it is?? I HAVE to find a way to move on because I am on the verge of losing my fragile little mind!

I don't expect to end up married to this girl. I don't even expect any type of attention watsoever on her part. I just expect to set all this ridiculous drama straight and move on with my life, regardless the outcome of my telling her how I've felt about her all this time.

Just cuz I'm young doesn't mean the love I feel for some people isn't as strong *rolling eyes* (sorry, I can't get that emoticon to work for some reason).

PS. My father is "closer to 50". So you're in no way close to being considered a grandfather... you've still got time

Believe me, I didn't mean to imply the love you feel is any less strong. In fact, the emotions one feels in youth are stronger in many cases than in later years. And that can actually be a problem. Youth sometimes thinks older generations don't remember what it was like. We do, trust me. It's just that we have perspective now that would have been invaluable then.

Nothing wrong with having extended teens, either. (Unless you're one of my kids. In that case, straighten up and fly the hell right, okay?) I sure did my share of stupid, fun stuff. If karma really worked, with the number of mailboxes I took out, I'd have to have a PO box for life. And even then somebody would probably manage to damage it with a beer bottle.

Here's a scary thought - could you imagine if it turned out, since your father and I seem to be of an age and my oldest son is about your age - that you were talking to him here? Yikes! "Um, Dad, what are you doing hanging out on a sex forum?" "Well, um, you know, looking for tips so your Mom and I can fuck better."

 

[Mac98]

Believe me, I didn't mean to imply the love you feel is any less strong. In fact, the emotions one feels in youth are stronger in many cases than in later years. And that can actually be a problem. Youth sometimes thinks older generations don't remember what it was like. We do, trust me. It's just that we have perspective now that would have been invaluable then.

Nothing wrong with having extended teens, either. (Unless you're one of my kids. In that case, straighten up and fly the hell right, okay?) I sure did my share of stupid, fun stuff. If karma really worked, with the number of mailboxes I took out, I'd have to have a PO box for life. And even then somebody would probably manage to damage it with a beer bottle.

Here's a scary thought - could you imagine if it turned out, since your father and I seem to be of an age and my oldest son is about your age - that you were talking to him here? Yikes! "Um, Dad, what are you doing hanging out on a sex forum?" "Well, um, you know, looking for tips so your Mom and I can fuck better."

Ya? Well MY parents are divorced so HA! You can't actually be my father!

Besides, my father would never have it. For some reason I'd never go to my parents for advice on love... cuz they're asking THEIR friends for advice on love (both my parents are new to the dating scene... well, if 4 years can be considered "new").

Believe me, I trust that in 10 years from now I'll look back on this with fond memories of just how intense young love is. But whilst in the moment, I really can't wrap my head around it to save my life. I sometimes get upset by the fact that all the "players" out there, or all the kids my age getting high, piss drunk, getting into fist fights, cheating and disrespecting everyone and everything are out there having the time of their lives and they all seem to have everything they want (and most of the time, they have superhot girlfriends... at least where I'm from) and the others... the one's who actually care, who want more than just benefits out of a relationship, those of us who always look out for the little guy always end up coming dead last.

Life does work in mysterious ways, but I think it's about fucken time Karma starts giving back.

Is it just me?

 

[kaycee217]

Yes, it is bothersome for me. For this reason, if ever we were to go into a relationship, I'd have a real hard time trusting her. I don't go clubbing at night (which is what most people my age do, including her) so I wouldn't be able to trust her alone at a club. Furthermore, I would also be concerned of the higher risks for STDs, like you say. Sounds silly, maybe, but when you've tested the market like she has, you're bound to catch something. Besides, I've seen, met and even personally know some of the guys she's hooked up with (yes, it's THAT much) and I wouldn't even shake some of these guys' hands.

I do believe, though, that she drinks (yes, because she gets shit-faced about 3 to 5 times a week too) and fools around out of insecurity. She hasn't had it very easy in her past relationships, so I can see how that might spawn odd behavior, but it's still not something I wanna' get involved in. It's unfortunate, cuz other than that, she'd be exactly my type, on top of the fact that we get along great.

But my story is just to show how utterly unlucky I am when it comes to this. These types of stories happen to me ALL the time.

I don't know how you can conclude that someone who likes sex and sleeps around will be someone you cannot trust. If you know she cheated on a current significant other while she slept around, then that's a different situation.

 

[satindesire]

I don't know how you can conclude that someone who likes sex and sleeps around will be someone you cannot trust. If you know she cheated on a current significant other while she slept around, then that's a different situation.

Not a whole lot of people that sleep around a great deal are emotionally healthy people. It's not a universal truth, but true enough to make most people leery of promiscuous people.

 

[kaycee217]

Not a whole lot of people that sleep around a great deal are emotionally healthy people. It's not a universal truth, but true enough to make most people leery of promiscuous people.

Yes, I know.

If I was considering whether or not to date someone, their promiscuity would be a factor to consider, but only with respect to why she slept around and how safely she did it.

I personally am not "leery" of people who sleep around because of trust. Maybe that's just me, though.

 

[Mac98]

I don't know how you can conclude that someone who likes sex and sleeps around will be someone you cannot trust. If you know she cheated on a current significant other while she slept around, then that's a different situation.

I've got trust issues. I don't trust very easily unless I know you very well. I don't know if she's ever cheated on a past boyfriend (well, she has told me she has, but only as revenge for him cheating on HER first, which I later found out to be 100% true). I know, however, that she's been cheated on by pretty much every boyfriend she's ever had... but, although I feel somewhat sorry for her, she MUST have seen this coming. I'm sorry to say, some of the guys she dated had somewhat of a reputation... I've been here only since August and I know that already...

Recap: I definately could not trust her unless I was 100% convinced she was head over heels in love with me. I'm not the jealous type (at all), but I'd have trouble letting her go to clubs alone... drunk.

 

[kaycee217]

I've got trust issues. I don't trust very easily unless I know you very well. I don't know if she's ever cheated on a past boyfriend (well, she has told me she has, but only as revenge for him cheating on HER first, which I later found out to be 100% true). I know, however, that she's been cheated on by pretty much every boyfriend she's ever had... but, although I feel somewhat sorry for her, she MUST have seen this coming. I'm sorry to say, some of the guys she dated had somewhat of a reputation... I've been here only since August and I know that already...

Recap: I definately could not trust her unless I was 100% convinced she was head over heels in love with me. I'm not the jealous type (at all), but I'd have trouble letting her go to clubs alone... drunk.

Fair enough; you know her better than me, and who am I to be one to criticize those with trust issues?

*sigh*

 

[Mac98]

Fair enough; you know her better than me, and who am I to be one to criticize those with trust issues?

*sigh*

No, I'm just saying, you know... I have trust issues... I wouldn't be capable of trusting her in those situations. I see no harm in other people trusting her, but I just wouldn't be able to. I'd be very mefiant.

This being said... I'll most probably never end up dating her anyways. *rolling eyes* (lol again)

 

[kaycee217]

No, I'm just saying, you know... I have trust issues... I wouldn't be capable of trusting her in those situations. I see no harm in other people trusting her, but I just wouldn't be able to. I'd be very mefiant.

Mefiant?

 

[Mac98]

Mefiant?

lol sorry, it's french-canadian slang... means suspicious, or... suspicious. It means suspicious, this I know...

 

[kaycee217]

lol sorry, it's french-canadian slang... means suspicious, or... suspicious. It means suspicious, this I know...

Oh, ok.

 

[Hoardingenergy]

There is nothing that will make a person act more impulsively than being in love.

 

[kaycee217]

There is nothing that will make a person act more impulsively than being in love.

Ain't that the truth...well, for the most part.

 

[Isid]

ah man... don't dwell on it... love eventually dies don't cha know? just keep on keepin' on I say

 

[littlebabyclit]

Also, just because she's easy doesn't make her a bad person. She's a real sweetheart and very nice to chat with... but to me, being easy isn't exactly a quality.........She hasn't had it very easy in her past relationships, so I can see how that might spawn odd behavior, but it's still not something I wanna' get involved in. It's unfortunate, cuz other than that, she'd be exactly my type, on top of the fact that we get along great.

Hi Mac,

I'm just wondering, if you're her friend, if you've ever expressed to her your concern over her possibly getting an STD from her risky behaviour. Or that you're worried about her excessive drinking and how it could impact her health. Just wondering. And what does she think about your more straightlaced lifestyle...ya know, except for the pissing-people-off-for-fun thing ?

 

[culloden]

Ya? Well MY parents are divorced so HA! You can't actually be my father!

Besides, my father would never have it. For some reason I'd never go to my parents for advice on love... cuz they're asking THEIR friends for advice on love (both my parents are new to the dating scene... well, if 4 years can be considered "new").

Believe me, I trust that in 10 years from now I'll look back on this with fond memories of just how intense young love is. But whilst in the moment, I really can't wrap my head around it to save my life. I sometimes get upset by the fact that all the "players" out there, or all the kids my age getting high, piss drunk, getting into fist fights, cheating and disrespecting everyone and everything are out there having the time of their lives and they all seem to have everything they want (and most of the time, they have superhot girlfriends... at least where I'm from) and the others... the one's who actually care, who want more than just benefits out of a relationship, those of us who always look out for the little guy always end up coming dead last.

Life does work in mysterious ways, but I think it's about fucken time Karma starts giving back.

Is it just me?

That's a relief.

Do you live in a city? It sounds to me like you really want a more traditional relationship. You might have better luck finding that sort of thing in a more conservative area. I'm not suggesting you go Amish, but maybe consider a school in a smaller place. Just a thought.

 

[Mac98]

ah man... don't dwell on it... love eventually dies don't cha know? just keep on keepin' on I say

That's easier said than done. Like I've mentioned before... I've spent a year with zero contact with her and my feelings for her didn't die down the least bit. I wouldn't argue with you if I'd only known her for the past 6 months... but we're talking about several years. (which is nothing compared to some who spend 50+ years together, I know, but for a highschool crush, it's pretty damn long!)

Hi Mac,

I'm just wondering, if you're her friend, if you've ever expressed to her your concern over her possibly getting an STD from her risky behaviour. Or that you're worried about her excessive drinking and how it could impact her health. Just wondering. And what does she think about your more straightlaced lifestyle...ya know, except for the pissing-people-off-for-fun thing ?

I don't feel I'm close enough to her to mention something about her lifestyle. I've mentioned before how insane she is for partying till 4 in the morning when she works at 9 the next morning and how she's wrecking her health with all the vodka-redbull she takes (not on the job, of course). I've mentioned before that it's a complete self-destruction, or self-sabotage to live like this. Once in a while, ok, but not nightly (and I've spent over half my young life around hospitals, I have a good sense of what is ok and what is harmful to your body)... to which she usually replies "You're only young once"... I sense there's an underlying, emotional scar which she's most likely not ready to talk about... at least not with me.

I've never mentioned my concern for her catching an STD... I'm not sure she'd appreciate me having concerns over her sexlife. I'm not her mother nor am I even a close relative... I'm just a job-buddy she's known for 3 months.

Sometimes you can express your concern all you want but at one moment or another, it's the subject's own responsibility to wake up and make the change... don't I know it.

That's a relief.

Do you live in a city? It sounds to me like you really want a more traditional relationship. You might have better luck finding that sort of thing in a more conservative area. I'm not suggesting you go Amish, but maybe consider a school in a smaller place. Just a thought.

I come from a Montreal suburb... now in live in a small Ontario suburb pretty much far from any major city like Toronto or Hamilton. But I can't really change colleges right now... i'm sort of in the middle of my semester and things are going pretty swell (education-wise). I've come to realise, though, that people don't change from city to city... there are exceptions, but mostly not.

 

[Mac98]

Well, since I've been asked to keep everyone posted, I'll do my part and do exactly that.

I drove back down to my hometown as soon as school finished last Friday and am heading back in an hour or two. I don't have class on Mondays and I took today off to come back (Don't judge! You've all skipped school before too!). Therefore, I had 3 days around my friends and family and I decided that my chance to finally say something was either now or never.

Last night, for the first time in over 5 years, I finally let another human being know of my feelings for this girl who caused 3 pages of discussion, advice and debate on an internet site.

I'm not sure how I can put what I've just been through in the last 24 hours into words, so if the text is long, I apologize. Be patient... some more.

Last night, I called my best friend up and told him I needed to have a talk. I sat him down in his basement, just the two of us and, after a couple of hours of beating around the bush, trying to put words around the fact that I'm in love with his girlfriend, I finally told him. Not so bluntly, subtly, but he caught on right away and I can't say how relieved I was when I saw a huge smile on his face before he replied: "Really? REALLY?? Wow!".

I kidd you not when I say it took me a good 90 minutes to finally get it out. I had a dry mouth and the shakes, which I thought was a little extreme. I mean, it's not like I lost a limb! But as soon as the words came out of my mouth, and as soon as my head stopped spinning and my vision stopped blurring, and instant sense of relief came over me. The shakes stopped immediately and I had a LONG discussion with my best friend who, in the end, felt nothing but guilt.

I must admit, I wasn't expecting him to throw me out of his home, but I sure as hell wasn't expecting him to feel guilty. He said he felt bad that I had to go through that and keep it bottled inside for so long. He said he was extremely happy I told him this and finally got it off my chest.

It didn't take him long to ask me if I was still, today, in love with her, to which I, at first, replied reluctantly. I tried to gauge his reaction by simply asking: "what if I was?". He didn't really give me a straight answer, but the smile on his face meant everything.

I did eventually ask him if it were ok with him if I said something to her if they ever split up. He laughed and said he couldn't care less, so I guess that isn't a problem. Though I did promise not to ever say anything as long as they're together, which is a promise I'll keep.

I was thrilled to see how well he was taking the news and was it was nice to see how much he cared. I was a little aprehensive at first... this terrain is sorta new to me, so I had no clue how he'd react. Perhaps I was fortunate, but I guess it goes to show that friendship, although not as powerful as a relationship, is still a powerful thing... thank god.

To be fully honest, I can't say I feel any less about her than I did before, though I know I have to give it time, but I do feel VERY relieved that it's FINALLY out there and can't thank all of you enough for giving me the time of day and sticking around to help. I am forever greatful (grateful? whatever!).

So that's it in a nutshell.

 

[littlebabyclit]

Good going, Macky. I'm proud of you.

 

[culloden]

Good for you, man. It's nearly always best to face these things head on.

 

[Mac98]

Good for you, man. It's nearly always best to face these things head on.

Well, I didn't really go HEAD on... I more hit the wall sideways. I didn't really tell HER how I felt. I told my best friend who happens to be her boyfriend. Oddly enough, though, like I said, he took it surprisingly well.

But I guess telling him counts too, right... considering he's the first person in the last 5 years that I've told face to face.

I'm somewhat anxious to see how this'll end up affecting (if at all) my friendship with either of them.

 

[littlebabyclit]

It will be interesting to see how things play out. Your friend's initial reaction was surprising somewhat. I'm wondering if and how his feelings may evolve. Worst of all, he may reconsider how desirable she is and renew his interest in and commitment to her. And then you're screwed for another year or so (that's still all I give their relationship.)

On the other hand, it's almost Valentine's Day. Maybe something magical will happen and your dream girl will call you up, tell you she's heard "the news" and let you know she's ready to fuck your brains out. One can dream, right ?

(And don't get all literal on me now and dissect why that couldn't happen!! )