Women of Lit: A Safe Place To Share

[ToPleaseHim]

Sounds like the jury has made its decision, but thank you for your offer which I know was kindly meant .
The bigger picture is that we're discussing where to post, safe from creepy men in the first place.

I do think it would be a more true safe place if the thread could be moderated. Each forum really does have its pros and cons. I haven’t done any analysis, but the PG does seem to be a lot more active than the GB in recent years. And the GB seems…friendlier than it once was? I’m not sure that’s the right word, but some of the bite is gone. Going back just a handful of years, I can’t even imagine how a thread with “safe space” in the title would have been received. Depending on the opening poster, that thread could have been respected or seriously disrespected. I was a bit nervous when I saw the thread title for the first time here in the GB, but I am really glad to see it be mostly left to be a positive and safe place for women to share.

And to echo something said above, there are definitely creeps in every forum.

Edited to add: And thanks for the positive note there. I definitely only had good intentions here. I’d love to be able to more than roll my eyes at the men who feel entitled enough to jump in here.

 

[v_indigo]

I do think it would be a more true safe place if the thread could be moderated. Each forum really does have its pros and cons. I haven’t done any analysis, but the PG does seem to be a lot more active than the GB in recent years. And the GB seems…friendlier than it once was? I’m not sure that’s the right word, but some of the bite is gone. Going back just a handful of years, I can’t even imagine how a thread with “safe space” in the title would have been received. Depending on the opening poster, that thread could have been respected or seriously disrespected. I was a bit nervous when I saw the thread title for the first time here in the GB, but I am really glad to see it be mostly left to be a positive and safe place for women to share.

And to echo something said above, there are definitely creeps in every forum.

Edited to add: And thanks for the positive note there. I definitely only had good intentions here. I’d love to be able to more than roll my eyes at the men who feel entitled enough to jump in here.

The GB is so much slower and low key than it was before. I wonder if this has anything to do with the politics board?

 

[ToPleaseHim]

The GB is so much slower and low key than it was before. I wonder if this has anything to do with the politics board?

Possibly. I (like so many) was very much against splitting the board when it happened, but now I do find that I appreciate that the extreme vitriol is more contained.

 

[RaineDrops]

I do think it would be a more true safe place if the thread could be moderated. Each forum really does have its pros and cons. I haven’t done any analysis, but the PG does seem to be a lot more active than the GB in recent years. And the GB seems…friendlier than it once was? I’m not sure that’s the right word, but some of the bite is gone. Going back just a handful of years, I can’t even imagine how a thread with “safe space” in the title would have been received. Depending on the opening poster, that thread could have been respected or seriously disrespected. I was a bit nervous when I saw the thread title for the first time here in the GB, but I am really glad to see it be mostly left to be a positive and safe place for women to share.

And to echo something said above, there are definitely creeps in every forum.

Edited to add: And thanks for the positive note there. I definitely only had good intentions here. I’d love to be able to more than roll my eyes at the men who feel entitled enough to jump in here.

The GB is so much slower and low key than it was before. I wonder if this has anything to do with the politics board?

I was surprised to see this thread on the GB actually. It makes sense now if like you said that the GB has gotten friendlier or low key than it once was. I have mostly only hung out on the PG.

I believe this thread is important no matter where it stays. And let’s do what’s necessary to keep it safe.

 

[stickygirl]

The GB is so much slower and low key than it was before. I wonder if this has anything to do with the politics board?

The GB now reminds me of an abandoned town after a disaster: still a few signs of life, but more ghosts. Instead of rancid winos shouting from the shadows we've got threads from twenty years ago being dragged out of shallow graves and dusted off. I think a few of the assholes died. That helped.

ETA Sorry, was I being overdram?

 

[SofiaLaFrench]

Ahem. Can a bunny change her mind?

I’ve spent time today exploring the PG and the GB. When this move was first raised my knee-jerk reaction was “Oh no! They want to put us in the personals!” (trust me, bunny knee-jerks are powerful, did you know we can break our own backs?)

Anyway, I looked at our adjacent threads both here and there and I was amazed that I like their neighborhood a bit better. It’s not quite as sexualized. There are actually a handful of really chill threads.

And with someone to watch over us I have to believe we will be safer. If we grow in the GB, we’ll continue to attract more unwanted attention.

I apologize for being so skittish.

 

[v_indigo]

Ahem. Can a bunny change her mind?

I’ve spent time today exploring the PG and the GB. When this move was first raised my knee-jerk reaction was “Oh no! They want to put us in the personals!” (trust me, bunny knee-jerks are powerful, did you know we can break our own backs?)

Anyway, I looked at our adjacent threads both here and there and I was amazed that I like their neighborhood a bit better. It’s not quite as sexualized. There are actually a handful of really chill threads.

And with someone to watch over us I have to believe we will be safer. If we grow in the GB, we’ll continue to attract more unwanted attention.

I apologize for being so skittish.

It’s not like the online world doesn’t push you to be skittish. It’s so very understandable

 

[Christy2Cum]

I am gonna post here, its supposed to be a safe place.
Married for 25+ years. Husband had playboy magazine and occasionally rented the odd movie. I never watched porn...I read novels.
Had kids and then some mental problems and health problems. Didn't like husband to much for a few years, I was very busy being a mom, cook, cleaner and working... I will put a lot of blame on a medical procedure.
Anyhow I decided to let him buy me some lingerie and we started getting our sex life back.
It was a regular thing for him to go watch porn for a couple hours in the evenings.
One day I went through his phone, I looked at what he looked at for hours a day. All the beautiful amazing women....the comments to them. How he can watch them for hours....
Since this I have been broken, and I will blame partially blame menopause. I did not know this side of my husband and did not know this part of the person whom I married.
I used to be a confident proud independent women, now I am a mess and my confidence has been shattered. It's been a year, and I am still not sure of what I want. I find it hard to cry...
It's really hard to know he is in the bedroom looking at beautiful women all the time whilst I do dishes....
Anyhow I am thinking of getting some professional help....

Hun, getting professional help is never a bad idea but the problem is not you, it's the porn-addict you live with who clearly doesn't appreciate you and I may go as far to say takes you for granted.
If you have someone to visit in another city for a week, see how he fairs and you may have your answer.

 

[ToPleaseHim]

@SofiaLaFrench Stick around the Playground a bit. I think you’ll like it.

Maybe the answer is to start a companion/sister thread in the PG? Maybe there should be more than one explicitly safe place to post. I’m going to think on that. There have been other threads over the years. I think the original Menstrual Hut was in the GB. We had a Slumber Party thread in the How To. However it all works out, women supporting women is definitely the way to be.

 

[SofiaLaFrench]

@SofiaLaFrench Stick around the Playground a bit. I think you’ll like it.

Maybe the answer is to start a companion/sister thread in the PG? Maybe there should be more than one explicitly safe place to post. I’m going to think on that. There have been other threads over the years. I think the original Menstrual Hut was in the GB. We had a Slumber Party thread in the How To. However it all works out, women supporting women is definitely the way to be.

I’ll leave that for others to decide.

 

[barefootgirl69]

@SofiaLaFrench Stick around the Playground a bit. I think you’ll like it.

Maybe the answer is to start a companion/sister thread in the PG? Maybe there should be more than one explicitly safe place to post. I’m going to think on that. There have been other threads over the years. I think the original Menstrual Hut was in the GB. We had a Slumber Party thread in the How To. However it all works out, women supporting women is definitely the way to be.

We did have a Slumber Party thread here

https://forum.literotica.com/threads/🎉🍧🎀-ladies-of-lit-24-7-slumber-party🎀🍧🎉.1555064/

It was a place to have fun and hang out.

 

[ToPleaseHim]

We did have a Slumber Party thread here

https://forum.literotica.com/threads/-ladies-of-lit-24-7-slumber-party.1555064/

It was a place to have fun and hang out.

I’m going to delete the last post in that thread (dude posting) and bump it.

Rainshine and I had a slumber party thread in the HT, too. It was a lot of fun.

 

[Lady2020]

Just throwing this out here, no need to accept, but please let me know if you would like this thread moved to a forum where a moderator could help. (Like when an idiot like @Giftboy decides to barge in and throw a lame insult, a mod could actually remove the drivel and prevent him from posting in the thread again). Maybe the How To forum or the Playground? The HT forum is very slow moving which could limit new women finding the thread, although the thread staying active would keep it at the top of the list and actually on the main page. The Playground is very active, more active than the GB, so the thread could draw troll behavior there (although easy to remove). Let me know if there’s any interest (@InCNCestBangPie)

I bow to you. I am not worthy.

 

[InCNCestBangPie]

Ahem. Can a bunny change her mind?

I’ve spent time today exploring the PG and the GB. When this move was first raised my knee-jerk reaction was “Oh no! They want to put us in the personals!” (trust me, bunny knee-jerks are powerful, did you know we can break our own backs?)

Anyway, I looked at our adjacent threads both here and there and I was amazed that I like their neighborhood a bit better. It’s not quite as sexualized. There are actually a handful of really chill threads.

And with someone to watch over us I have to believe we will be safer. If we grow in the GB, we’ll continue to attract more unwanted attention.

I apologize for being so skittish.

Lil , come here.
Big hugs to you. I'm proud of you and thank you for your input. I definitely want everyone to feel so super comfortable. I feel good knowing you're feeling better about the change.
No apologies needed. We're allowed to be beautifully flawed and feminine here .

 

[InCNCestBangPie]

I am gonna post here, its supposed to be a safe place.
Married for 25+ years. Husband had playboy magazine and occasionally rented the odd movie. I never watched porn...I read novels.
Had kids and then some mental problems and health problems. Didn't like husband to much for a few years, I was very busy being a mom, cook, cleaner and working... I will put a lot of blame on a medical procedure.
Anyhow I decided to let him buy me some lingerie and we started getting our sex life back.
It was a regular thing for him to go watch porn for a couple hours in the evenings.
One day I went through his phone, I looked at what he looked at for hours a day. All the beautiful amazing women....the comments to them. How he can watch them for hours....
Since this I have been broken, and I will blame partially blame menopause. I did not know this side of my husband and did not know this part of the person whom I married.
I used to be a confident proud independent women, now I am a mess and my confidence has been shattered. It's been a year, and I am still not sure of what I want. I find it hard to cry...
It's really hard to know he is in the bedroom looking at beautiful women all the time whilst I do dishes....
Anyhow I am thinking of getting some professional help....

Good Evening to you, SweetyD.
Not to sound like a broken record (because I say it often), but thank you for sharing. I don't know how to explain it, but it really means a lot to me that, regardless of internet anonymity, you lovely ladies take the time to share your vulnerabilities. It's a type of strength & bravery in it's own right.
So, first & foremost, to echo everyone else: I am a Huge proponent for prioritizing mental health. A psychiatrist or therapist or both can be very beneficial. Couples therapy can help as well, but here in this space, I'm more concerned with you & your individual well-being.
I will say, going through his phone isn't the best thing to do. Not judging, just, I will never not be truthful. I hate you saw those things, but I do believe you shouldn't have seen them like that. At any rate, all of your pain and emotions are very valid. As you've seen, us ladies here will be more than happy to cheerlead you from this online setting. Irl though, please take all appropriate actions to guard your heart, center yourself, & above all, establish & maintain your peace. I'd love to know how things go, but that is of course 100% your decision to share.
Thank you & hold your head up, because this is just the beginning of much needed change for you.

 

[Strixaluco]

@Sweetdreams71 I found photos of my late husband cheating while looking for photos from our past holiday that he had taken but not shared... No wonder he didn't want me to even touch his phone while he was alive.

Regarding watching stuff and giving attention, I find the problem is if one gives more attention elsewhere than one's spouse. I don't expect my husband to be blind to other women - only to make sure to give me more attention than that.

 

[InCNCestBangPie]

Update: Well my ear infection is improving and the swelling has gone down so much after two weeks. I picked up smoking again about a month ago but I quit once I got the infection. So I think I'm done with smoking for good. I woke up a bit ago to take my medication and I'm so relieved. I hope everyone is doing okay. I would write more here but I'm thinking about going back to bed here soon. I'm just so happy about the infection finally going away!!

Yay! I hope you keep continuing to feel better. I just woke up from a dream where I was sick, again. I somehow got sick 3 months in a row irl, so in my dream just now, I was like, "damn, again?!?" Lol. Hope you're sleeping well and wake up refreshed!

Happy Easter to those who celebrate.
Happy Resurrection Sunday to those who believe.
Happy It's A New Day to everyone because we made it to Sunday! ☺

 

[Strixaluco]

Happy It's A New Day to everyone because we made it through Sunday! ☺

There, fixed it for you

(Just home from a nice but exhausting day with my family. Dinner at my parents, then helping my chosen daughter with stuff.)

 

[stickygirl]

@Sweetdreams71 I found photos of my late husband cheating while looking for photos from our past holiday that he had taken but not shared... No wonder he didn't want me to even touch his phone while he was alive.

Regarding watching stuff and giving attention, I find the problem is if one gives more attention elsewhere than one's spouse. I don't expect my husband to be blind to other women - only to make sure to give me more attention than that.

This happened to a good friend of mine during covid... not just photos on a phone, but police knocking on the door knowing he'd downloaded them.
Happily she's got grown daughters, is now a granny and has new man in her life. She's ended up in a positive place but had to go through hell.

 

[Strixaluco]

She's ended up in a positive place but had to go through hell.

It was easier for me in a way, I didn't have to confront him. (Though also I couldn't...) It effectively ended my grieving.

The next day I arrived on this forum (my profile is a bit older as I made it to be able to save stories to read later), and within a few days I started a discovery to myself: "oh I'm little!" "Actually, a sub too" finding my Dom discovering myself on the spectrum.

So the end result is all well. I just could have saved myself some 10 years I wasted on him.

 

[stickygirl]

It was easier for me in a way, I didn't have to confront him. (Though also I couldn't...) It effectively ended my grieving.

The next day I arrived on this forum (my profile is a bit older as I made it to be able to save stories to read later), and within a few days I started a discovery to myself: "oh I'm little!" "Actually, a sub too" finding my Dom discovering myself on the spectrum.

So the end result is all well. I just could have saved myself some 10 years I wasted on him.

Wasted time was something she said too - they'd been married quite a few years. I think it's made her work harder at having better times now, given the lost time and her age.
One door closes... Glad you kept looking forward. It can't be easy but it's the best choice.

 

[Strixaluco]

Wasted time was something she said too - they'd been married quite a few years. I think it's made her work harder at having better times now, given the lost time and her age.
One door closes... Glad you kept looking forward. It can't be easy but it's the best choice.

Well, I had been planning forward since my husband got his incurable diagnosis - that's what kept me going through that all. Now 8 months into widowhood the house was less already for sale and I was waiting to find a buyer to be able to move on. (The buyer came 6 weeks later, and I moved a month from that.)

A lot different from finding something that causes a divorce. In fact, getting angry kind of freed me from the sorrow, so I started living again.

 

[BrightShinyGirl]

Wasted time was something she said too - they'd been married quite a few years. I think it's made her work harder at having better times now, given the lost time and her age.
One door closes... Glad you kept looking forward. It can't be easy but it's the best choice.

I like to think that even bad times aren’t wasted. In my 20’s I lived with a toxic guy for a while—not as bad as what many women go through, just self-absorbed and selfish—I never caught him cheating, but I’m pretty sure he was. Now looking back on those times I can see I was pretty immature and clueless myself—I convinced myself he was The One, the love of my life, and nearly destroyed myself trying to live up to that romantic ideal. Walking away and living by myself for a while gave me the maturity to have a real relationship with the man who eventually became my husband. And when things get bad I can always remind myself how much worse it could be.

Go, go, @Strixaluco! It’s all up from here!

 

[Strixaluco]

I like to think that even bad times aren’t wasted. In my 20’s I lived with a toxic guy for a while—not as bad as what many women go through, just self-absorbed and selfish—I never caught him cheating, but I’m pretty sure he was. Now looking back on those times I can see I was pretty immature and clueless myself—I convinced myself he was The One, the love of my life, and nearly destroyed myself trying to live up to that romantic ideal. Walking away and living by myself for a while gave me the maturity to have a real relationship with the man who eventually became my husband. And when things get bad I can always remind myself how much worse it could be.

Go, go, @Strixaluco! It’s all up from here!

Well I guess I had to spend the years somehow - back then I was still hoping for a kids, now it's too late. My Dom doesn't want kids bc of one hereditary health issue, so it wouldn't have worked yet if we met in 2010.

 

[ToPleaseHim]

@InCNCestBangPie You’ve landed in the PG

Let’s stay in touch about the thread and make sure this feels like the right home.

Men of the PG - please leave this thread for the purpose explicitly intended in the title. I touted that this feels like a better forum for the thread than the GB, but could definitely be proven wrong. I hope I’m not wrong.