Worst Sex Experience

[Necroh_Skewer]

If you've never had an orgasm during sex I'd say you need to explore yourself more and get your mind set in that sexy place first or no partner will work that well for you. Take control of your own pleasure. Relying on others leads to disappointment almost always.

Maybe that is what is preventing me. But it just seemed too short and he never wanted to take things slow. The other one orgasmed too fast before I could start feeling it. I dunno. I am currently doing those Kegal exercises to help out as well (too bad I have no sex partner to see if it works).
Thanks for the advice, I am definitely taking it to heart. And sorry for making that outburst. I was mad *blushes*.

 

[Necroh_Skewer]

Well said, and I couldn't agree more, Fury!

If I relied on my partner or intercourse to come, my orgasms would be few and far between. Instead, I tell my partner exactly what does and doesn't work for me, touch myself, fantasize and use toys. Apart from when I'm not at my best mentally, physically or decide I don't want to orgasm for whatever reason (e.g. it's a quickie and I'm satisfied w/o coming), I orgasm at least once before we ever get to sex. This allows me to relax more fully for sex and makes it far easier for me to come during intercourse.

But most importantly, orgasming apart from intercourse takes any pressure off of my partner and I. I don't care how long he lasts because I know I will always be satisfied in the end (my satisfaction isn't orgasm-dependent, however; it could simply emotional, mental or pleasure-based). Great sex is about everything we do, from start to finish--NOT what his cock does or does not do!

If you focus on your partner's cock and how long he lasts, or his ability to make you come, you'll likely be in for many more bad experiences and a lot of heartache in the future. If, however, you focus on pleasing yourself, teaching your partner what makes you tick and the entire experience, you'll likely really enjoy and feel good about your experiences. Yes, even when those sessions don't include intercourse, or your partner is so excited that he comes within the first couple of minutes!

You might want to consider how unproductive faking it is, too. Even if it's with a short-term partner, it can skew the guy's ideas so he doesn't work hard with his future partner(s) and determines there's something wrong with them when they're honest about not coming or need more than a few minutes of intercourse to come. There are an awful lot of women out there who aren't getting what they want and deserve because they got in the habit of faking it or their partner's previous partners faked it. And there are an awful lot of men who are clueless about pleasing a woman and have messed up ideas about orgasms because their partners faked it. Not orgasming is NOT a reflection of how capable you are in bed, or you, personally.

I'm saving everything you just said to my documents. I guess because when I was with them, my mind tended to be on an emotional roller coaster. Our relationships were very complicated and full of no-need drama. I need to be taught what sex is about and understand that it is more about the mind (like Fury said) instead of waiting for him to please me. When I spoke up about what got me off, they didn't seem to care or try it as often as I would like them too (maybe I was selfish?). In fact, they never bothered to tell me their fantasies........ Bottom line, there was no communication.
*sigh* Now I am back to square one.

 

[FurryFury]

Maybe that is what is preventing me. But it just seemed too short and he never wanted to take things slow. The other one orgasmed too fast before I could start feeling it. I dunno. I am currently doing those Kegal exercises to help out as well (too bad I have no sex partner to see if it works).
Thanks for the advice, I am definitely taking it to heart. And sorry for making that outburst. I was mad *blushes*.

It sounds like you've not been prepared yourself OR been with the sort of self aware person that, together with you, can make sex great.

I've been with the wrong person more often than I've been with the right person. You still have time to find what pleases you and a person who will take things slow, together you can make it great for both of you.

 

[Necroh_Skewer]

It sounds like you've not been prepared yourself OR been with the sort of self aware person that, together with you, can make sex great.

I've been with the wrong person more often than I've been with the right person. You still have time to find what pleases you and a person who will take things slow, together you can make it great for both of you.

Thanks a lot. Everyone here has been so helpful. I have been told that I tend to be "uptight" all the time.

 

[FurryFury]

Thanks a lot. Everyone here has been so helpful. I have been told that I tend to be "uptight" all the time.

That's what guys say when they want you to let them fuck you. Right? That's what they'd say to me in the past.

Lot's of jerks out there. Later they may mature into better people, may not, you never know.

 

[Necroh_Skewer]

That's what guys say when they want you to let them fuck you. Right? That's what they'd say to me in the past.

Lot's of jerks out there. Later they may mature into better people, may not, you never know.

Actually, yes and no. My friends told me that because I don't give people I don't like immediately the time of the day. And my exes have told me that because "I follow the rules," such as not visiting them in the middle of the night when they give me a booty call. *grimaces*

 

[FurryFury]

Actually, yes and no. My friends told me that because I don't give people I don't like immediately the time of the day. And my exes have told me that because "I follow the rules," such as not visiting them in the middle of the night when they give me a booty call. *grimaces*

Following rules is usually a good thing.

Giving people you don't a polite attitude but not letting them into your life is okay too in my book.

Other people should not be telling you how to act.

 

[Necroh_Skewer]

Following rules is usually a good thing.

Giving people you don't a polite attitude but not letting them into your life is okay too in my book.

Other people should not be telling you how to act.

HA! That is EXACTLY what I said. And even added, "Last time I checked, I am ahead of you guys in life because I 'followed the rules'."

 

[FurryFury]

HA! That is EXACTLY what I said. And even added, "Last time I checked, I am ahead of you guys in life because I 'followed the rules'."

LOL!

We are so on the same page!

 

[Necroh_Skewer]

LOL!

We are so on the same page!

WOO! *high fives*

 

[FurryFury]

Yeah!

LOL!

 

[twysted73]

My story's too uncomfortable for anyone to comment on. *laughs to self*

Bewaaaaarrree the fingerrrrrrr....

 

[rida]

Well said, and I couldn't agree more, Fury!

If I relied on my partner or intercourse to come, my orgasms would be few and far between. Instead, I tell my partner exactly what does and doesn't work for me, touch myself, fantasize and use toys. Apart from when I'm not at my best mentally, physically or decide I don't want to orgasm for whatever reason (e.g. it's a quickie and I'm satisfied w/o coming), I orgasm at least once before we ever get to sex. This allows me to relax more fully for sex and makes it far easier for me to come during intercourse.

But most importantly, orgasming apart from intercourse takes any pressure off of my partner and I. I don't care how long he lasts because I know I will always be satisfied in the end (my satisfaction isn't orgasm-dependent, however; it could simply emotional, mental or pleasure-based). Great sex is about everything we do, from start to finish--NOT what his cock does or does not do!

If you focus on your partner's cock and how long he lasts, or his ability to make you come, you'll likely be in for many more bad experiences and a lot of heartache in the future. If, however, you focus on pleasing yourself, teaching your partner what makes you tick and the entire experience, you'll likely really enjoy and feel good about your experiences. Yes, even when those sessions don't include intercourse, or your partner is so excited that he comes within the first couple of minutes!

You might want to consider how unproductive faking it is, too. Even if it's with a short-term partner, it can skew the guy's ideas so he doesn't work hard with his future partner(s) and determines there's something wrong with them when they're honest about not coming or need more than a few minutes of intercourse to come. There are an awful lot of women out there who aren't getting what they want and deserve because they got in the habit of faking it or their partner's previous partners faked it. And there are an awful lot of men who are clueless about pleasing a woman and have messed up ideas about orgasms because their partners faked it. Not orgasming is NOT a reflection of how capable you are in bed, or you, personally.

Very well said!

I was also going to comment that I don't consider whether I orgasm or not as an indication of good or bad sex. What makes an encounter good or bad is the sum of the whole experience, but mostly is the connection I get to feel with the other person. I guess that is why I never really had a bad experience.
Of course the fact that I started late and didn't have that many partners while young my have helped

As for orgasm, I never faked one, nor pleasure that was not there. Not even when the guy was desperately trying to get me off. I just stopped him when I had enough and told him that I was happy anyway (true) so not to worry.

 

[Necroh_Skewer]

Very well said!

I was also going to comment that I don't consider whether I orgasm or not as an indication of good or bad sex. What makes an encounter good or bad is the sum of the whole experience, but mostly is the connection I get to feel with the other person. I guess that is why I never really had a bad experience.
Of course the fact that I started late and didn't have that many partners while young my have helped

As for orgasm, I never faked one, nor pleasure that was not there. Not even when the guy was desperately trying to get me off. I just stopped him when I had enough and told him that I was happy anyway (true) so not to worry.

Thanks for the extra info! I now know that it is about the mind and body, not the orgasms, lol.

 

[rida]

Thanks for the extra info! I now know that it is about the mind and body, not the orgasms, lol.

yes but ... orgasms are good too
just don't be afraid to go after them by adding an extra helping hand when necessary

 

[ataxia.girl]

My story's too uncomfortable for anyone to comment on. *laughs to self*

Bewaaaaarrree the fingerrrrrrr....

i was a little confused by it. i would kind of like to have a little penis but seems weird to be in addition to a clit. i wonder if it had any sensation.

i couldn't actually figure out what was so terrible about it. Its a little weird i guess. Seems like it would just open up more possibilities for torment and torture.

 

[Necroh_Skewer]

yes but ... orgasms are good too
just don't be afraid to go after them by adding an extra helping hand when necessary

Hahaha! I will gladly do so.

 

[YourCaptor]

I got one, well two, but this is the worst.

Was at a party, got her a little drunk, got myself a little drunk and retreated to a bedroom. She was such a bimbo, I didn’t even want to look at her face cause it screamed material slut. Anyway, clothes come off and I tell her to do some oral work... she throws a fit about how that’s wrong and grouse and etc. I finally talk her into it, yet again (had to talk her into heading for the bed room too) but she was so bad at it, just using her tongue to lick. After giving her head a few little dunks she throws another fit, something about “ouch”, and “rough”, and “stop”. That was it, I just left.

Vanillas

sigh

 

[girlofurdreams]

I got one, well two, but this is the worst.

Was at a party, got her a little drunk, got myself a little drunk and retreated to a bedroom. She was such a bimbo, I didn’t even want to look at her face cause it screamed material slut. Anyway, clothes come off and I tell her to do some oral work... she throws a fit about how that’s wrong and grouse and etc. I finally talk her into it, yet again (had to talk her into heading for the bed room too) but she was so bad at it, just using her tongue to lick. After giving her head a few little dunks she throws another fit, something about “ouch”, and “rough”, and “stop”. That was it, I just left.

Vanillas

sigh

seriously???? what the hell is wrong with some people?

oral is my favourite part.... crazy vanillas, do they even realise what they're missing out on? lol.

 

[JokersConcubine]

Worst experience:

It was my 2nd time playing with this particular dom. I was young and stupid and shouldn't have jumped into severe bondage with someone I barely knew, but hey, live and learn I guess. He had me hooded, gagged, and completely immobilized. I'm actually a little claustrophobic about my face and this was my first time wearing a hood.

About 10minutes into the session, I just spazzed. No particular reason, just a freak out. I started feeling like my limbs were going numb, I couldn't breathe, and I had no way of telling this guy I wanted to stop. Finally (after several minutes of flipping out) he realized I was wriggling just a little too much and ripped the hood off.

I was completely freaked out and never played with him again.

 

[SweetErika]

seriously???? what the hell is wrong with some people?

oral is my favourite part.... crazy vanillas, do they even realise what they're missing out on? lol.

Well, at least she didn't kick him in the nuts and walk out on him. That's what I'd probably do if a guy got me drunk and then tried to force me to do something I didn't want to do multiple times.

He was totally in the wrong for getting her drunk and not respecting her or her limits. Add that to the likelihood of her getting the impression that he wasn't attracted to her and was using her, and is it any wonder she wasn't eager to give him oral and take his orders like a dog?

We're not talking about a consensual power exchange; what he described sounds like attempted sexual assault on multiple levels. It has nothing to do with vanilla vs. kinky. There are many kinky people--myself included--who would respond similarly in this situation. And maybe she's not kinky because the only kinky people she's met have been asshats like him.

It's a sad state of affairs when bad behavior is supported/encouraged and people who happen to be more traditional and/or don't have the same preferences are ridiculed. Most of us argue that our kinkiness, likes and dislikes are inherent. Yet when it comes to "vanillas" and things like not liking oral, some of those same people imply their preferences are a choice, and those preferences make them inferior. That's pretty damn hypocritical and shitty, if you ask me.

 

[YourCaptor]

And that's when I noticed she had an unformed penis about the size of a child's pinky off to the left of her clit.
I was drunk, I looked up and noticed she had passed out....so I took this as three very good signs to slooowwwwly back away from "The Finger".

That wasn't very nice of you, poor girl, 28 and still nothing.

Now I feel bad for the poor thing. Hope she found someone.

 

[YourCaptor]

Well, at least she didn't kick him in the nuts and walk out on him. That's what I'd probably do if a guy got me drunk and then tried to force me to do something I didn't want to do multiple times.

He was totally in the wrong for getting her drunk and not respecting her or her limits. Add that to the likelihood of her getting the impression that he wasn't attracted to her and was using her, and is it any wonder she wasn't eager to give him oral and take his orders like a dog?

We're not talking about a consensual power exchange; what he described sounds like attempted sexual assault on multiple levels. It has nothing to do with vanilla vs. kinky. There are many kinky people--myself included--who would respond similarly in this situation. And maybe she's not kinky because the only kinky people she's met have been asshats like him.

It's a sad state of affairs when bad behavior is supported/encouraged and people who happen to be more traditional and/or don't have the same preferences are ridiculed. Most of us argue that our kinkiness, likes and dislikes are inherent. Yet when it comes to "vanillas" and things like not liking oral, some of those same people imply their preferences are a choice, and those preferences make them inferior. That's pretty damn hypocritical and shitty, if you ask me.

Hey now, she knew what the score was.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Well, at least she didn't kick him in the nuts ............That's pretty damn hypocritical and shitty, if you ask me.

It is good to see that there are still people out there that understand the difference between consensual and non consensual sex. You have put it very clear, thanks SweetErika.

Mate you got of very easy, unfortunately it sounds as if you do not understand what you did wrong so you will probably do it again. If you call yourself Dominant try to remember that before you can dominate someone else you first have to be able to dominate yourself.

1) Getting someone drunk to get sex with is non consensual sex.
2) Hitting someone on the head against their will is called abuse.

A NO IS A NO unless there is a mutually agreed power exchange.

Francisco.

 

[SweetErika]

I need to be taught what sex is about and understand that it is more about the mind (like Fury said) instead of waiting for him to please me. When I spoke up about what got me off, they didn't seem to care or try it as often as I would like them too (maybe I was selfish?). In fact, they never bothered to tell me their fantasies........ Bottom line, there was no communication.
*sigh* Now I am back to square one.

It's a small point, and perhaps I'm misinterpreting, but you just might do better thinking, 'I'm still learning what sex is about,' rather than the bold part. The difference between empowering yourself by learning and needing to be taught is not a small one, IMO; in the former, you're seeking info and thinking critically, whereas in the latter you're more open to being misled, you know?

Anyway, it sounds like you were just with immature/the wrong guys, rather than selfish. I noticed a marked difference when I consciously decided to ditch the unavailable users I was drawn to (and who did their best to get me into bed ASAP) and started pursuing the nice guys (who weren't as smooth and didn't stroke my ego as much, but treated me really well all around). It felt drastic and wrong at first, but it was the right way to go, sexually and otherwise. Look for some experience, good treatment (of you and others) and high quality all around, and I think you'll be pleased with how the sex and relationship develop (it often takes time to get in a groove, no matter how great of a match you are).

Hey now, she knew what the score was.

Really?
So she knew you were getting her drunk in an attempt to get her into bed?
She knew you weren't attracted to her and you didn't respect her from the start?
She agreed to a power exchange? If so, was that before she was drunk (people can't truly consent when they're impaired)?
She knew you would insist on receiving oral?
She knew you weren't going to respect her limits?

Or is "she knew the score" just what you like to tell yourself when reality starts to creep in?

Is it just a coincidence that you're using the same line and justification that many rapists and other slimeballs who commit assault use when confronted with their actions or they start to feel guilty? Blame, blame, blame! Deflect, deflect, deflect!