You know you need to get laid when...

[Perplexia]

EXACTLY!

HEY.. hey .hey... .... where the fuck is my cunt beater... um..... I mean "massager".... yes.. thats what I mean...

Its not like... ya know.. when the kids found it once... they pluged it in and watched it race across the floor as they were squealing like lil monkeys or anything...

Fuck that... I have cripple hands... and if your fuckin horny enough, you would figure out how to hold up the statue of liberty if it got you off like a rocket!

Those things are fuckin retarded! unless you can rewire it so you have the control in your hand and anchor it to the headboard. Otherwise... your fuck partner is at the other end of it.. either THEY have a cock on them or they need to have that damned cock AND them a but closer to me than half way across the fucking bedroom. ....... lest you're all tied up... and... well. yea.. then tortures are kinda the point. ... anyway. been there, broke that, tossed it out the window.


um... you know you need to get laid when... You're at a hanukka with friends of the family and picturing them all with ball gags and wondering just who would crack first.

You made me giggle

 

[Pandorica]

When you're out present shopping for other people but take the time to wander around a sex shop anyway, just to remind yourself of all the fun stuff you have gathering dust in the toybox.

And especially when you wish they were being literal when setting out tester products.

 

[Nina327]

YKYNTGLW you're pouting because the bruises faded...

 

[Mythil]

YKYNTGLW you're pouting because the bruises faded...

Wowzers...

 

[renfield013]

...when even water stains remind you of sex.

Woman writhing on top of a man while he mauls her breasts with his hands:

Close-angle shot of a woman deepthroating a guy:

Woman fingering both pussy and ass, with one leg raised:

(Flying dragon? Pansy.)




Give me even just a semi-distinct outline, and my mind immediately turns it into porn. Ye gods! I can even see it in toast.

 

[Nina327]

Wowzers...

Yes Shaggie?

I can even see it in toast.

Porntastic Porn-Toast!

 

[Cheska]

When Duracell and Energizer Battery companies send you thank you notes an Christmas cards....

When you actually have to read the instructions on how to use a Condom.

When someone ask you when you are Coming over, by, up.... an you shead a tear.

You make a pass at the Crack of Dawn.

When someone yells "Fuck you!" and you say "Yes, please."

You know you need to get laid, when walking into a Biker Bar with nothing but a thong an a Blindfold starts to sound like a good idea.

When you give your "Back Messager" pet names...

When you accuse your sex toys of cheating....

 

[Perplexia]

When u name not only your toys, but the batteries as well. To you this is being promiscuous.

 

[Nightfreak]

When you read other lit members roleplays and message them that you need to stop at the store for more batteries.

 

[Pandorica]

When you get laid by someone you probably shouldn't.

 

[itismeinnz]

When gazing out at my 80 year old neighbour's undies on her clothesline starts kinda doing it for me.

 

[Fish_Tales]

When you use the term "yummy mummy"

 

[yeishia]

When you need to ask what getting laid actually is...


Er what is it?

I am guessing a wand in one hand and a vibrator in the other doesn't qualify ?

*blushes giggling*

 

[Fish_Tales]

When you need to ask what getting laid actually is...


Er what is it?

I am guessing a wand in one hand and a vibrator in the other doesn't qualify ?

*blushes giggling*

Even asking that......

You need to get laid

 

[Mephistophelily]

You crave chocolate... And cum.
*groans into her cocoa*

 

[1Wheels111]

When I order way too many pounds of salami from the guy at the deli counter.

 

[Cheska]

You crave chocolate... And cum.
*groans into her cocoa*

And to think, I know some self professed "Super Pervs." who would be grossed out by that... prudish dicks.

 

[Perplexia]

When i start hitting on guys driving in the opposite direction.

 

[Annisthyrienne]

 

[Nina327]

-purrrrsssssss-


Well... YKYNTGLW... .... well. just when you want too... more than diddling yourself.

 

[WhipLuvr]

When tying up a chicken for roasting gives you dirty thoughts....

 

[absorb]

I liked the ones you wrote.

When Duracell and Energizer Battery companies send you thank you notes an Christmas cards....

When you actually have to read the instructions on how to use a Condom.

When someone ask you when you are Coming over, by, up.... an you shead a tear.

You make a pass at the Crack of Dawn.

When someone yells "Fuck you!" and you say "Yes, please."

You know you need to get laid, when walking into a Biker Bar with nothing but a thong an a Blindfold starts to sound like a good idea.

When you give your "Back Messager" pet names...

When you accuse your sex toys of cheating....

When you call your cellphone from another phone, you have it set on vibrate, and have it placed under you, and it goes on, over and over...lol!

 

[LadyVamp138]

You can't even fit your finger in your own pussy. I need dick badly.

Damn my high standards.