How Do You Guide Yourself On Sex / Relationships

[Rosa2019]

You come to a sex site and just cannot find anybody for sex.
What do you do ? Get mad ? Curse? Or what ? (other than masturbation)
How do you reconcile with the situation and make peace with yourself ?
If you say 'just forget it', fine. My mind is on those who cannot forget it.

* Nothing funny or sarcastic . Would like some sincere and rational conversation.

 

[pornochic]

I don't understand how sex on a "sex site" is supposed to work. Do you mean MEETING someone in person? Or just growing a trust and talking about it?

 

[Rosa2019]

Pornochic

It's to be determined by each individual as to how sex “works” or not. Some may insist on meeting in person; some maybe satisfied online through 'hot chat', role play or whatever. Of course, 'satisfaction' is a bottomless abyss. My question is ''when or where or how do you stop yourself in the abyss' . In other words, how do you manage yourself. If masturbation works , great. One should be happy.

 

[PWilton]

You come to a sex site and just cannot find anybody for sex.
What do you do ? Get mad ? Curse? Or what ? (other than masturbation)
How do you reconcile with the situation and make peace with yourself ?
If you say 'just forget it', fine. My mind is on those who cannot forget it.

* Nothing funny or sarcastic . Would like some sincere and rational conversation.

* Please stay with the specific topic of this post.
We can shift later after some conversation on this one.

* Please not to post images merely for visual stimulation.
This is a discussion thread in a discussion forum.
Thank you ladies and gentle men.

Rosa

I think that if you are looking for someone in 'real life' via Literotica, you have the immediate challenge of location. It would be rare (I think) to 'find somebody for sex' here who just happens to live close enough to you to be practical.

Now, if you are looking for virtual or online, there are ways. P.M's. Lit Chat.

So, can you be more specific?

 

[pornochic]

Pornochic
It's to be determined by each individual as to how sex “works” or not. Some may insist on meeting in person; some maybe satisfied online through 'hot chat', role play or whatever. Of course, 'satisfaction' is a bottomless abyss. My question is 'when you cannot find anybody in any way for sexual satisfaction, What do you do to make peace with yourself ? If masturbation works for you, great. You should be happy.

Ok. Yes, i can see it would be very frustrating to not have a sexual satisfaction, of any kind. I'm unattached, and need regular sexual pleasure just for mental health. But, men in real life aren't all that pleasurable for me, for various reasons. I have a spiritual awareness that we are never really alone. My daily contacts with other people assuage the emotions of loneliness I do feel. Yes, I enjoy masturbation and erotica. I think it's important for women to not have to rely on others for their sexual pleasure.
It may be, that the feelings/frustrations one experiences around not having sexual satisfactions are leading to a closer relationship with one's spiritual self/God/creation/greater reality. The "fire" of genital chakra may be channeled into a great love for all creation, including self.
We are physical creatures still; a powerful vibrator does miracles for mental/physical/spiritual health, but I understand the reluctance some feel. My appreciation for erotic art is blended with the miracle of sexual passion that God gifted all of us with.
I used to enjoy sex with guys, but because my vagina is larger, most men don't enjoy it with me. It's a different kind of sadness.
My question is, how are you dealing with it? This site is pretty small. I bet a larger site would give you a better chance for satisfying contacts. Also, it's harder for smart women to find truly attractive/satisfying partners ~leni

 

[Jada59]

I don't understand what you mean. This place is loaded with men wanting sex. It's like a candy store for me! Maybe you're looking for something other than a man? Maybe you have sexual proclivities that most people don't? I'm just grasping at straws here.

 

[Rosa2019]

Only Pornochic's statement <“The "fire" of genital chakra may be channeled into a great love for all creation, including self. “> answered my question. I don't see Pwilton or Jada's answer .

This post is not really about my personal sexual condition. It's a question asking for others' perspectives for people to share and discuss

Anyone who doesn't have an answer maybe better to wait for others to respond.

 

[pornochic]

Also, I use sexual desire/power to inspire creativity.

 

[Happy4yourclam]

Ok. Yes, i can see it would be very frustrating to not have a sexual satisfaction, of any kind. I'm unattached, and need regular sexual pleasure just for mental health. But, men in real life aren't all that pleasurable for me, for various reasons. I have a spiritual awareness that we are never really alone. My daily contacts with other people assuage the emotions of loneliness I do feel. Yes, I enjoy masturbation and erotica. I think it's important for women to not have to rely on others for their sexual pleasure.
It may be, that the feelings/frustrations one experiences around not having sexual satisfactions are leading to a closer relationship with one's spiritual self/God/creation/greater reality. The "fire" of genital chakra may be channeled into a great love for all creation, including self.
We are physical creatures still; a powerful vibrator does miracles for mental/physical/spiritual health, but I understand the reluctance some feel. My appreciation for erotic art is blended with the miracle of sexual passion that God gifted all of us with.
I used to enjoy sex with guys, but because my vagina is larger, most men don't enjoy it with me. It's a different kind of sadness.
My question is, how are you dealing with it? This site is pretty small. I bet a larger site would give you a better chance for satisfying contacts. Also, it's harder for smart women to find truly attractive/satisfying partners ~leni

Your response was lovely Pornochic....well done.

 

[pornochic]

We are trying to limit discussion to Rosa's concerns and question about how one deals with finding no sexual satisfaction on a site like Literotica. How do people cope?

 

[Knoturnal]

You come to a sex site and just cannot find anybody for sex.
What do you do ? Get mad ? Curse? Or what ? (other than masturbation)
How do you reconcile with the situation and make peace with yourself ?
If you say 'just forget it', fine. My mind is on those who cannot forget it.

* Nothing funny or sarcastic . Would like some sincere and rational conversation.

* Please not to go off topic . We can shift later after some conversation on this one.

* Please not to post images unless it's a quote relevant to the topic.
This is a discussion thread in a discussion forum.
Thank you ladies and gentle men.

Rosa

if you want real sex you might. try Ashely Madison.

I believe I've heard of luck there. If you like to talk about it and try cyber sex you may find it here.

 

[Rosa2019]

Also, I use sexual desire/power to inspire creativity.

Exactly.
Sexual energy may be channeled into creative activities such as writing or doing role play. Some people would say 'it's not the same.' Of course the form on the surface is not the same but ultimately it's the same in the sense that you feel fulfilled.
Writing stories requires more writing skills but a short RP can be done in dialogues as in face-to-face conversation.

I resonate with your perspective that sexual feelings/frustrations can lead to a closer relationship with one's spiritual self.
People that are content with their spiritual self are less likely to be driven by sexual drive.

 

[Rosa2019]

We are trying to limit discussion to Rosa's concerns and question about how one deals with finding no sexual satisfaction on a site like Literotica. How do people cope?

Exactly.

I am surprised that 3 guests so far are focused on advising me where to find men to meet my personal sexual need. Wrong focus really.

 

[lovetoread]

uh unless i am lost, this isnt a classroom where one can be told what to say or not say

deep personal discussions are not really a GB type of thing

 

[Jada59]

Exactly.
Sexual energy may be channeled into creative activities such as writing or doing role play. Some people would say 'it's not the same.' Of course the form on the surface is not the same but ultimately it's the same in the sense that you feel fulfilled.
Writing stories requires more writing skills but a short RP can be done in dialogues as in face-to-face conversation.

I resonate with your perspective that sexual feelings/frustrations can lead to a closer relationship with one's spiritual self.
People that are content with their spiritual self are less likely to be driven by sexual drive.

i must disagree with you there. I'm a very spiritual and sexual person. I am quite content with myself.

 

[Jada59]

Exactly.

I am surprised that 3 guests so far are focused on advising me where to find men to meet my personal sexual need. Wrong focus really.

To me, your original post was not very clear at all. I'm left wondering what you were asking.

 

[Sean]

* Nothing funny or sarcastic . Would like some sincere and rational conversation.

* Please not to go off topic . We can shift later after some conversation on this one.

* Please not to post images unless it's a quote relevant to the topic.
This is a discussion thread in a discussion forum.
Thank you ladies and gentle men.

Rosa

L.O.L.

 

[lovetoread]

thats not a deeply thought out reply to the original post

did you not read the rules??

 

[thør]

thats not a deeply thought out reply to the original post

did you not read the rules??

Rules? If there are rules, there must be people with badges. We don't need no badges.

 

[Comshaw]

Rules? If there are rules, there must be people with badges. Badges? We don't need no stinkin' badges.

Fixed it for ya.


Comshaw

 

[silver gurl]

This isn't a "let's find a partner, sex site"
It was erotica at one time.
Now it more about politics, bickering and just life.

I think pornochic is a guy.

 

[thør]

Fixed it for ya.


Comshaw

Show me your badge.

 

[Comshaw]

Exactly.
Sexual energy may be channeled into creative activities such as writing or doing role play. Some people would say 'it's not the same.' Of course the form on the surface is not the same but ultimately it's the same in the sense that you feel fulfilled.
Writing stories requires more writing skills but a short RP can be done in dialogues as in face-to-face conversation.

I resonate with your perspective that sexual feelings/frustrations can lead to a closer relationship with one's spiritual self.
People that are content with their spiritual self are less likely to be driven by sexual drive.

While sexual energy can be channeled in to creative activity, sexual satiation can just as likely engender creative thought and action. My experience is that sexual frustration causes a mental state in which you are fixated on just one subject, ,sex. On the other hand sexual satiation removes that block allowing my mind to see things that were originally hidden by the overriding drive for sex.

As far as sexual frustration leading to a closer relationship with ones spiritual self, I do not agree. It's like being hungry or thirsty. If you are your mind will try to concentrate on that instead of peering into the dark corners of your being to see what's there.

And sex with a partner, one that you respect is amazing and can open ones mind and lead to the discovery of hidden ideas. The feel of skin on skin, a combined scent of two bodies intertwined, The sounds of two humans locked together in a dance that has been done for millions of years. And after, the warm soft touch coupled with a satisfied glow can release any inhibitions, remove mental blocks and open the mind to avenues not wandered.

Maybe for some pent up unused sexual energy and the frustration that accompanies it are a catalyst for creativity, but for me, the absence of the craving for sex allows me the freedom to let my mind wander, unchained and unfettered by that craving, to places I normally wouldn't and see things that were hiding in plain sight.


Comshaw

 

[Desiremakesmeweak]

The OP said 'some sincere and rational conversation...'

Okay. This IS the modern world, right? RIGHT??

So you are most unlikely to get either one of those things virtually ANYWHERE.

And the OP also said no humor, so that means I can't - and thus I won't - 'lol.'

About twenty years ago, I was vaguely involved in the S&M world, and one really REALLY well-known identity there told a bunch of people listening to him that Sam(-antha) Johnson (BDSM celebrity, more or less) was nearer sixty than thirty or even forty and a few people laughed.

Anyhew - I am also more a long ways down the road these days in real age but er, I look closer to a ridiculous thirty than anything like my real age. And what that means is I have 'accumulated' some experience(s).

So when I see or hear or read - especially MUCH MUCH younger people - talk about sex relationships and difficulties there, I wish I could impart some authentic and functional experience to them but it is rarely possible.

Certainly there are a lot of folk who will be inclined to argue with me in any case and dispute what I am about to say, but nonetheless, here goes what I would suggest thinking along the lines of...

'Guide yourself?' Well that's difficult. Being a highly observant individual is valuable. It will incline you though to thinking that either most people, of any and all genders, are perfectly atrocious at sexual relationships and 'getting sex' in any satisfying way over a decent term - or else that there are a lot of liars out there in the human race; they lie to themselves and they lie to others too.

But if you are good at observing people, eventually you will notice all kinds of strange things that people say and do which are different to how they really behave.

...Now I am taking a rather high-handed, didactic and many would say arrogant stance, and I'm not going to modify my tone or position about that. In hindsight and having been able to compare my own life with the experiences of a lot of other people, including people who are IN the sex industry in one way or the other, and PROFESSIONAL people in that arena - I appear to have had a lot better time of things than most.

By the same token, early on, this was not my own impression as to what was going on.

But after time, I am forced to the realization that um, yeah, I have had enduring successes in this side of things.

So here is my 'verdict:'

Humans are incredibly complex - and most of them are complex beneath what they present as common-ness or utter simplicity and I would say, foolishness. Don't be deceived. They are deadly dangerous to themselves and every one else. On the whole.

Which leaves you with only a very few people to 'consort' with.

And those are MUCH more complex still.

But that's where you get the benefit.

Example - forget the word 'women,' most 'women' are not actually mature women at all. 'People' who are females, do this kind of thing - they say they like/love perfumes that are like these things: cake, ice cream, chocolate, vanilla, candy floss, waffles, biscuits, maple syrup... ...in short, everything they won't eat because they think it will make them fat. So that's idiots masquerading as 'women.'

You 'might,' find a tiny handful of people (in this example, let's just go by the hetero thing and say 'female') who WEAR fragrances and perfumes that they believe MEN will be attracted to. And that's yer difference right there. Because in the first place these people are already thinking in terms of what THE OTHER person would or might like. Advantage to you. (As well as advantage in the longer term to them).

Unless you encounter a potential sex partner who is going to START OUT thinking about you and what you want or like, you are utterly wasting your time.

So how can you tell someone is thinking about what YOU want...?

That would be the easiest thing in the world but hey, can you see already that you have not often met with such circumstances?

Tactic Number 1.

Go around thinking about other people and doing everything in your power for other people and by and by you will sort out the types of people you really want to do things for and strangely enough you will next regularly encounter people who will harmonically match what you are doing back to you. 'Complex' means if you are ridiculously over-powering and claustrophobic in what you are doing it will undermine the whole thing too.

It's not easy, is it?

There is no such thing as 'satisfying sex' other than with people you like and can trust and who like you and trust you and are trust-able.

If you just rush around 'getting sex' or as much sex as possible and available without taking into the matter the factors I set out, you'll kill yourself.

But if you do what I say, and start right now making a commitment to that - automatically you are on a different footing, and everyone around you will sense it immediately. And right away your real prospects increase and next your practical experiences will certainly improve.

But if you lie to yourself and do not fully accept and believe in the point of caring about the other person, you will fail.

 

[Rosa2019]

While sexual energy can be channeled in to creative activity, sexual satiation can just as likely engender creative thought and action. My experience is that sexual frustration causes a mental state in which you are fixated on just one subject, ,sex. On the other hand sexual satiation removes that block allowing my mind to see things that were originally hidden by the overriding drive for sex.

As far as sexual frustration leading to a closer relationship with ones spiritual self, I do not agree. It's like being hungry or thirsty. If you are your mind will try to concentrate on that instead of peering into the dark corners of your being to see what's there.

And sex with a partner, one that you respect is amazing and can open ones mind and lead to the discovery of hidden ideas. The feel of skin on skin, a combined scent of two bodies intertwined, The sounds of two humans locked together in a dance that has been done for millions of years. And after, the warm soft touch coupled with a satisfied glow can release any inhibitions, remove mental blocks and open the mind to avenues not wandered.

Maybe for some pent up unused sexual energy and the frustration that accompanies it are a catalyst for creativity, but for me, the absence of the craving for sex allows me the freedom to let my mind wander, unchained and unfettered by that craving, to places I normally wouldn't and see things that were hiding in plain sight.


Comshaw

Looks like your last paragraph responds to the rest of your statement. Seems to me at the end you found relief from “fixated” sexual craving. Am I correct?
******
Many people equate the absence of sex with being hungry for food or thirsty for water and oblivious to the fact that sex is more fluid and adjustable . It involves the psyche. It's more about 'want' than 'need' (not saying we don't need it at all).

I found this in your profile: "The problem is not the problem; the problem is your attitude about the problem." Captain Jack Sparrow