❓ Inquiring Minds Want To Know - Discussion Thread

[KamaKamaSutra]

This is a bit different in that I'm thinking more about the early stages of a relationship - or even the back and forth of getting to know each other. A (potential) partner who wants to control how I dress is a hard limit. It's always so cliche.

I actually enjoy choosing dress, but I always work within options that they choose. Part of that is just I enjoy clothing, nothing like a fetish for it, but I do enjoy choosing. I can see how it is a hard limit however, sadly most men lack the understanding of female form and how to dress to suit it to do anything more than a slutty/nerdy girl look in my experience. You can achieve some amazing looks regardless of body shape, but you have to know where the fabric falls and how their body will work with certain styles. Skin tone also plays a big part into it, depending on the pigment in the persons skin some colors are just a no-go for the most part. Sorry, you could say that fashion gets my creative side up and going . For me when I choose an outfit for you, its more along the lines of me painting a canvass. I enjoy seeing you look as beautiful to the world as you do to me.

 

[barefootgirl69]

I seldom have any need to wear a bow tie now - used to when I wore a tux regularly. But back when I did, it was amazing how many women seemed to feel the need to ‘just straighten it’...

Anything submissive there? Or file alongside Honey’s Allure of Gentlemen’s Accessories thread?

(And I’m a Brit. So this was a proper bow tie that you tied. Not some Captain Clipon crap.

*moves feet on the bed*
I don't know... maybe a little of both. Or, see my reply to Fara

No. I mean, the grooming.
I see it as very forward. Almost dominant. Very intimate.
I don’t ever touch men I work with.
I would just say, go fix your tie, dude.

When I worked, I had no problem either telling someone about something out of place on a uniform, or fixing their collars as they barreled from their office headed to give briefings or go see a superior . I wanted them looking their best and not a one (nor their wife) thought anything of it. It might have been different if it was a construction or deli job... but it was a high-profile job on occassions.

 

[AlwaysFara]

*moves feet on the bed*
I don't know... maybe a little of both. Or, see my reply to Fara



When I worked, I had no problem either telling someone about something out of place on a uniform, or fixing their collars as they barreled from their office headed to give briefings or go see a superior . I wanted them looking their best and not a one (nor their wife) thought anything of it. It might have been different if it was a construction or deli job... but it was a high-profile job on occassions.

Especially not them. Don’t touch at the workplace. It’s a huge no no.

 

[barefootgirl69]

Especially not them. Don’t touch at the workplace. It’s a huge no no.

These days, things are so wacky. But, I'd probably still do it, and their wives would still thank me for helping their husband look professional.

Ymmv

 

[AlwaysFara]

These days, things are so wacky. But, I'd probably still do it, and their wives would still thank me for helping their husband look professional.

Ymmv

Yeah.
I don’t think so.
I’d probably kick your ass.

He’s a big boy. He can do his own tie. Go fix your own man.

That’s my attitude on that.^

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

These days, things are so wacky. But, I'd probably still do it, and their wives would still thank me for helping their husband look professional.

Ymmv

Agreed.

 

[AlwaysFara]

Imagines me kicking BFG’s ass with my guy looking on, eyebrow raised in bemusement.

 

[AlwaysFara]

Agreed.

Get in line. You’re next.

 

[AlwaysFara]

Guys... I’m not really gonna kick anyone’s ass.
I’m 5’2”!!!

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

Guys... I’m not really gonna kick anyone’s ass.
I’m 5’2”!!!

We know...

 

[AlwaysFara]

We know...

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

 

[barefootgirl69]

Imagines me kicking BFG’s ass with my guy looking on, eyebrow raised in bemusement.

Guys... I’m not really gonna kick anyone’s ass.
I’m 5’2”!!!

I'm 4'11.5" bring it, lil' missy!

*runs away laughing... and trips*

 

[AlwaysFara]

I'm 4'11.5" bring it, lil' missy!

*runs away laughing... and trips*

*looks for beachbaby*

 

[KamaKamaSutra]

Hehehe, *beginnings mixing jello for the fight* ooooooooo firecrackers!

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

I actually enjoy choosing dress, but I always work within options that they choose. Part of that is just I enjoy clothing, nothing like a fetish for it, but I do enjoy choosing. I can see how it is a hard limit however, sadly most men lack the understanding of female form and how to dress to suit it to do anything more than a slutty/nerdy girl look in my experience. You can achieve some amazing looks regardless of body shape, but you have to know where the fabric falls and how their body will work with certain styles. Skin tone also plays a big part into it, depending on the pigment in the persons skin some colors are just a no-go for the most part. Sorry, you could say that fashion gets my creative side up and going . For me when I choose an outfit for you, its more along the lines of me painting a canvass. I enjoy seeing you look as beautiful to the world as you do to me.

I had a great experience early on in my time at Lit with being tasked by a close friend to wear something in particular. I almost don't want to share the details, not because they're graphic, but because they're intimate.

He and i had similar backgrounds and he knew and understood all the reasons for my body issues. He wanted me to stop feeling ashamed of my body, stop wanting to hide it. So he sent me shopping for clothes that were a bit more colorful and fitted than i would normally wear. Skirts that didn't cover my lower legs, tops that showed i had a waist.

Those were huge changes for me at that time, and I'm grateful that he had the wisdom not to push me further. I picked the clothes, and he didn't force me to wear them except to show him what I'd gotten. It was enough.

To hear him say that i looked nice, appealing, without compromising my values was... liberating. For those of you from a conservative religious background, you'll understand how much i struggled with this. As a deeply submissive woman, and a natural pleaser, one of my greatest desires is to be seen by my partner as a 'good girl,' but that has to work with my personal values, not against them.

His little nudge was perfectly timed, and turned out to be the catalyst for a whole re-thinking of who i wanted to be, and how i wanted to define 'good girl' for myself. His little bit of control in that area helped me to begin finding my independence, my own voice.
He helped me to bloom.

 

[AlwaysFara]

I had a great experience early on in my time at Lit with being tasked by a close friend to wear something in particular. I almost don't want to share the details, not because they're graphic, but because they're intimate.

He and i had similar backgrounds and he knew and understood all the reasons for my body issues. He wanted me to stop feeling ashamed of my body, stop wanting to hide it. So he sent me shopping for clothes that were a bit more colorful and fitted than i would normally wear. Skirts that didn't cover my lower legs, tops that showed i had a waist.

Those were huge changes for me at that time, and I'm grateful that he had the wisdom not to push me further. I picked the clothes, and he didn't force me to wear them except to show him what I'd gotten. It was enough.

To hear him say that i looked nice, appealing, without compromising my values was... liberating. For those of you from a conservative religious background, you'll understand how much i struggled with this. As a deeply submissive woman, and a natural pleaser, one of my greatest desires is to be seen by my partner as a 'good girl,' but that has to work with my personal values, not against them.

His little nudge was perfectly timed, and turned out to be the catalyst for a whole re-thinking of who i wanted to be, and how i wanted to define 'good girl' for myself. His little bit of control in that area helped me to begin finding my independence, my own voice.
He helped me to bloom.

This made my eyes tear up.

 

[barefootgirl69]

I had a great experience early on in my time at Lit with being tasked by a close friend to wear something in particular. I almost don't want to share the details, not because they're graphic, but because they're intimate.

He and i had similar backgrounds and he knew and understood all the reasons for my body issues. He wanted me to stop feeling ashamed of my body, stop wanting to hide it. So he sent me shopping for clothes that were a bit more colorful and fitted than i would normally wear. Skirts that didn't cover my lower legs, tops that showed i had a waist.

Those were huge changes for me at that time, and I'm grateful that he had the wisdom not to push me further. I picked the clothes, and he didn't force me to wear them except to show him what I'd gotten. It was enough.

To hear him say that i looked nice, appealing, without compromising my values was... liberating. For those of you from a conservative religious background, you'll understand how much i struggled with this. As a deeply submissive woman, and a natural pleaser, one of my greatest desires is to be seen by my partner as a 'good girl,' but that has to work with my personal values, not against them.

His little nudge was perfectly timed, and turned out to be the catalyst for a whole re-thinking of who i wanted to be, and how i wanted to define 'good girl' for myself. His little bit of control in that area helped me to begin finding my independence, my own voice.
He helped me to bloom.

Beautiful, Honey.

On a side note, what I put in bold.... I love being modestly dressed in public. And undressed when alone. I like knowing I don't have to compromise anything, and still feel sexy. I love that it's "for his eyes only".

 

[AlwaysFara]

Beautiful, Honey.

On a side note, what I put in bold.... I love being modestly dressed in public. And undressed when alone. I like knowing I don't have to compromise anything, and still feel sexy. I love that it's "for his eyes only".

See, and I have the type of body where cleavage just happens.
So, I wear a lot of hoodies.

 

[KamaKamaSutra]

I had a great experience early on in my time at Lit with being tasked by a close friend to wear something in particular. I almost don't want to share the details, not because they're graphic, but because they're intimate.

He and i had similar backgrounds and he knew and understood all the reasons for my body issues. He wanted me to stop feeling ashamed of my body, stop wanting to hide it. So he sent me shopping for clothes that were a bit more colorful and fitted than i would normally wear. Skirts that didn't cover my lower legs, tops that showed i had a waist.

Those were huge changes for me at that time, and I'm grateful that he had the wisdom not to push me further. I picked the clothes, and he didn't force me to wear them except to show him what I'd gotten. It was enough.

To hear him say that i looked nice, appealing, without compromising my values was... liberating. For those of you from a conservative religious background, you'll understand how much i struggled with this. As a deeply submissive woman, and a natural pleaser, one of my greatest desires is to be seen by my partner as a 'good girl,' but that has to work with my personal values, not against them.

His little nudge was perfectly timed, and turned out to be the catalyst for a whole re-thinking of who i wanted to be, and how i wanted to define 'good girl' for myself. His little bit of control in that area helped me to begin finding my independence, my own voice.
He helped me to bloom.

This is what I always hope to impart on people I have the pleasure to talk too. I always want to build them up. I hate the idea that I ever tore anyone down.

 

[midwestyankee]

Now i want to watch Muppets Christmas Carol.

I hope you did. It's one of my favorite movies, ever.

 

[midwestyankee]

#24

Kink Evolution (submitted)

How has your perception of kink / bdsm changed since you got involved in it? Do people in your life know you have a kinky streak? Do you think people in other forums think the BDSM forum is weird, scary?

Apparently our dear hostess is on holiday as it took me quite a search to find La Question du Jour, which it seems is actually more than one question. Quelle surprise!

My perception has changed in the sense that I see it all as even more of blurry gray continuum than ever. And not only is the continuum rather blurry and not at all black-and-white, but it's really a set of continua and our place on each one can vary from day to day and even from minute-to-minute, depending on context. It's a little bit like quantum mechanics in that regard, as even the act of thinking where I am on one of the continua - say, the give/get pain continuum - can cause me to move around it a bit.

A few people in my non-Lit/Fet life know that I prefer to love kinkily, but not many.

I have received messages from people - especially in response to the thread that Honey linked elsewhere - that said indisputably that they liked kink but would never post here for a variety of reasons. That they saw us a a weird bunch or a bit scary was not a rare sentiment in those messages.

 

[cascadiabound]

Ok, after much discussion with a few different people, I'm in the minority here.
It's probably a cultural difference but I think adjusting someone that you know it completely fine.
I don't consider it particularly flirty (unless there's lots of meaningful eye contact etc). I just think it's taking care that someone looks their best. The same as brushing a piece of lint off their shoulder.

Now, is it submissive? It can be. Is it dominant? It can be. It's all in how it's done and with what intentions it is done. Anything can be flirty. I can certainly see the submissive act in it IF it's given that weight. That taking care of 'my man' mentality. But not always...

I think I just come from a nurturing place. "Let me fix you." But I certainly understand where others would see it as something else and I can also respect a personal space boundary. I think that comes in with knowing someone. I have a male best friend, he's married. His wife wouldn't consider that flirting and vice versa.

Interesting to hear what ruffles some people's feathers and what other's wouldn't blink an eye at...

I guess I am in the minority with you PLP.
I am a high touch person. AND submissive in my personal life. And bossy/ dominant in my public professional life. So...i touch people that I am in relationship with but not intimate with, all the time. I tuck labels in, clip off stray threads (after offering and asking) and yea, i would straighten a tie at a party or professional event for someone I work with who matters to me and I know they would want to look their best. I have taken care of stains, and looked askance at too many rumples suggesting they get the *other* lab coat from their office (or maybe even appear at their side with the less rumpled lab coat half bossy tone telling them to change into it as I offer it for their arms). I fuss over the women I work with too. Tugging an earring back into place if it is about to fall out, discreetly letting someone know their slip is showing, or if lipstick is on their teeth. And for me, none of these activities is flirting or sexual at all.

Idk. Is this submissive? Dominant? Mothering? Nurturing like PLP says? Bossy? Primate grooming?
It is who I am. And all y'all in *this* room if we were at a party, I would probably be touching all of you too. hugs, kisses on cheeks, delinting, stray threads....

 

[barefootgirl69]

Ok, after much discussion with a few different people, I'm in the minority here.
It's probably a cultural difference but I think adjusting someone that you know it completely fine.
I don't consider it particularly flirty (unless there's lots of meaningful eye contact etc). I just think it's taking care that someone looks their best. The same as brushing a piece of lint off their shoulder.

Now, is it submissive? It can be. Is it dominant? It can be. It's all in how it's done and with what intentions it is done. Anything can be flirty. I can certainly see the submissive act in it IF it's given that weight. That taking care of 'my man' mentality. But not always...

I think I just come from a nurturing place. "Let me fix you." But I certainly understand where others would see it as something else and I can also respect a personal space boundary. I think that comes in with knowing someone. I have a male best friend, he's married. His wife wouldn't consider that flirting and vice versa.

Interesting to hear what ruffles some people's feathers and what other's wouldn't blink an eye at...

I guess I am in the minority with you PLP.
I am a high touch person. AND submissive in my personal life. And bossy/ dominant in my public professional life. So...i touch people that I am in relationship with but not intimate with, all the time. I tuck labels in, clip off stray threads (after offering and asking) and yea, i would straighten a tie at a party or professional event for someone I work with who matters to me and I know they would want to look their best. I have taken care of stains, and looked askance at too many rumples suggesting they get the *other* lab coat from their office (or maybe even appear at their side with the less rumpled lab coat half bossy tone telling them to change into it as I offer it for their arms). I fuss over the women I work with too. Tugging an earring back into place if it is about to fall out, discreetly letting someone know their slip is showing, or if lipstick is on their teeth. And for me, none of these activities is flirting or sexual at all.

Idk. Is this submissive? Dominant? Mothering? Nurturing like PLP says? Bossy? Primate grooming?
It is who I am. And all y'all in *this* room if we were at a party, I would probably be touching all of you too. hugs, kisses on cheeks, delinting, stray threads....

Yessssss.... this is me.
I missed your post earlier, PLP!

I love how some of these conversations evolve into getting to know each other in ways we probably wouldn't have in other threads. No... definitely not in other threads.

 

[AlwaysFara]

I would probably not be work friends with any of you...