❓ Inquiring Minds Want To Know - Discussion Thread

[TANSTAAFL58]

#47 (submitted with additions)

Pain:

Where do you most like to be hurt? Is there somewhere you don’t like to feel it? Are these answers because of how they feel physically or emotionally?
Or is there a particular place or way you like to cause pain?

I don't like pain or being hurt - not like I like ice cream or pizza. But I find pain / hurt useful. It's transformative.

Some sensation play - nipple clamps, spanking - is enjoyable. But true pain isn't enjoyable. It fucking hurts. At times, though, I crave it. I wonder about being a cutter - I've heard that cutting is a release. That's how I feel with being hurt.

There's something thrilling (I"m not sure this is the right word?) about enduring being deliberately hurt. How much I can take until I use a safe word, until I finally break? I want to be with someone who enjoys playing with me this way. He knows I need this. Fara talks about this - her guy gives her pain in order to take her self-created pain away.

It's cathartic. Soul cleansing.

I wouldn't play at this level with just a play partner. It would have to be someone who knows my demons and has a vested interest in chasing them away.

Feet are a hard limit. Inner thighs, breasts are for special occasions

I've had clothespins in weird places like armpits, jawline, inbetween toes. Not a huge fan. I think I like the hurt to be on the usual places: butt, thighs.

I'm the one dealing out the pleasurable pain. I find it requires constant feedback and concentration. For example, she loves nipple teasing and torture to a very specific limit. Screw clamps, yes. Suction definitely. Gentle biting, of course. Pinching and pulling: an enthusiastic yes. Clover clamps: a hard no. She can't stand them, saying that the pain is too intense to be pleasurable. Yet she practically demands the previous attention, and loves the physical sensation. The emotional sensation follows, at least for me due to the intimacy.

 

[cascadiabound]

I'm the one dealing out the pleasurable pain. I find it requires constant feedback and concentration. For example, she loves nipple teasing and torture to a very specific limit. Screw clamps, yes. Suction definitely. Gentle biting, of course. Pinching and pulling: an enthusiastic yes. Clover clamps: a hard no. She can't stand them, saying that the pain is too intense to be pleasurable. Yet she practically demands the previous attention, and loves the physical sensation. The emotional sensation follows, at least for me due to the intimacy.

Exactly this. Especially the bolded bit.

I appreciate the distinction you and others have made between pain and sensation play.
I guess i like sensation play that borders on pain, but like cookie, I am not crazy about pain for pain's sake. But a partner who is interested in my well being giving me pain to create catharsis I have found to be invaluable.

 

[TheWhiteBull]

#47 (submitted with additions)

Pain:

Where do you most like to be hurt? Is there somewhere you don’t like to feel it? Are these answers because of how they feel physically or emotionally?
Or is there a particular place or way you like to cause pain?

Not generally into being hurt but I do like my back scratched. To the point of opening my skin scratched.

As far as causing it...spanking is always a fun option.

 

[AlpineFresco]

#47 (submitted with additions)

Pain:

Where do you most like to be hurt? Is there somewhere you don’t like to feel it? Are these answers because of how they feel physically or emotionally?
Or is there a particular place or way you like to cause pain?

I'm on the sadist side, where receiving is fine but really if it happens in the moment. Bites and scratches and so on. A harder scratch can be fun as part of sensation play, but I'm not in it for the pain.

Now, giving is different. So far the only thing I don't like is wielding something with a paddle-style thuddy feel, but there are things I haven't used. For places? Generally fleshier areas are better. This is supposed to be fun for everyone, though, so it can depend a lot on what the person receiving likes and they may enjoy something specific. I have an ex who loved her back being scratched up, for example, so I incorporated that with her. Breaking the skin is a hard limit, though - not interested in going there.

Emotional connection is interesting. I feel like, as I'm giving, in theory I probably need more trust placed in me than I need to give in return. I've never not had a connection when playing, but I certainly could play like this without it. I just truly won't know how much - if at all - I'd enjoy that until I've been there.

I do enjoy both finer control play, and also the physicality of bigger movements. Emotionally... again, I enjoy inflicting pain on someone who enjoys receiving it, but I can't say how that would be affected by no already existing emotional connection.

 

[Sexybritches69]

#47 (submitted with additions)

Pain:

Where do you most like to be hurt? Is there somewhere you don’t like to feel it? Are these answers because of how they feel physically or emotionally?
Or is there a particular place or way you like to cause pain?

I’m new to this forum, and to what everything means. But as far as what I like, I know that I like being held firmly, being spanked hard with his hand— I’ve never been spanked with anything else. I like the feeling of being bitten to the point of leaving teeth marks, not breaking the skin.

Wax really intrigues me.

I love the anticipation and the tension that this sort of play brings. I have memories of one person who I will always remember as the person who read me the best, knew my body the best, could push me the furthest... I’ll always remember him. So, that emotional bond with him definitely was a huge part of our chemistry.

 

[Knoturnal]

#47 (submitted with additions)

Pain:

Where do you most like to be hurt? Is there somewhere you don’t like to feel it? Are these answers because of how they feel physically or emotionally?
Or is there a particular place or way you like to cause pain?

not into pain myself. i don't like being hurt emotionally. Physically it depends.
I don’t like to think of myself as sadistic either but i'm sure there are some that would disagree with me.
I would say I like to cause pain in a way that my partner seems to enjoy mostly but occasionally there may be something i have a mind to do myself.
i enjoy rope i don't do a lot of suspensions but floor play and other things, and wax including it with rope or not and play including scraping it back off with knifes, I enjoy impact play, spankings floggers, id rather use my hands though. I get a better feel of what im doing that way and get some enjoyment in that respect. Ive been trained to do lots of different types of play i liked electro- play but really don't do it anymore, i enjoy watching fire-play but although i have been trained in it also I dont do it because of a lack of a lot of the safety eq. and tools, the thing on that also is your not going to be having a lot of fun (or maybe you would) but I'm not unless I'm doing something that both my partner and I both enjoy.

 

[BigTopBedlam]

#47 (submitted with additions)

Pain:

Where do you most like to be hurt? Is there somewhere you don’t like to feel it? Are these answers because of how they feel physically or emotionally?
Or is there a particular place or way you like to cause pain?

I'm a sadist through and through, I'll start slow and of course I'll respect your boundaries but I'm always looking to take you as far as possible. The expressions and sounds people make in pain is like the sweetest music to me, but only when I'm causing it. I can't really say why, a psychologist would probably have a field day, if I ever let one of those jackals near me.

I'll enjoy pain as well sure, but often as much a means to understand more fully what they're going through as it is an end in itself. I've tried wax and I have to say I was disappointed, though it does look nice.

 

[Paul_Chance]

I think I’m on the other side. I never broke it down like that.

I think one of the things that get's lost (or overwhelmed) in the discussion of BDSM topics is the tendency to lump it all together as one fetish, when it's really more of a meta-term that encompasses a lot of variant behaviors - and for most people, they're not into "all of the above", but rather one or more variants - you can do bondage without being tangled up in dominance, you can be a masochist without any interest in the other parts. BDSM is a sexual Russian nesting doll.

 

[AlwaysFara]

I think one of the things that get's lost (or overwhelmed) in the discussion of BDSM topics is the tendency to lump it all together as one fetish, when it's really more of a meta-term that encompasses a lot of variant behaviors - and for most people, they're not into "all of the above", but rather one or more variants - you can do bondage without being tangled up in dominance, you can be a masochist without any interest in the other parts. BDSM is a sexual Russian nesting doll.

 

[Paul_Chance]

I'm a sadist through and through, I'll start slow and of course I'll respect your boundaries but I'm always looking to take you as far as possible. The expressions and sounds people make in pain is like the sweetest music to me, but only when I'm causing it. I can't really say why, a psychologist would probably have a field day, if I ever let one of those jackals near me.

I'll enjoy pain as well sure, but often as much a means to understand more fully what they're going through as it is an end in itself. I've tried wax and I have to say I was disappointed, though it does look nice.

I'm a big fan of wax play - it's a sharp sweet pain (giving or receiving) and it's got great visuals, both during and after. Though clean-up can be a chore, it can be a great chore.

 

[AveryElle]

I’m very interested in ways to better clean up wax play. I’ve heard coconut oil before. But yeah cleaning up sucks. It is awesome, though. I’ve never given. Not my thing to give it...

 

[Mei5ter]

I’m very interested in ways to better clean up wax play. I’ve heard coconut oil before. But yeah cleaning up sucks. It is awesome, though. I’ve never given. Not my thing to give it...

In a hotel where the clean up operation is their problem?

File alongside chocolate fondue...

 

[base10]

I think one of the things that get's lost (or overwhelmed) in the discussion of BDSM topics is the tendency to lump it all together as one fetish, when it's really more of a meta-term that encompasses a lot of variant behaviors - and for most people, they're not into "all of the above", but rather one or more variants - you can do bondage without being tangled up in dominance, you can be a masochist without any interest in the other parts. BDSM is a sexual Russian nesting doll.

To me, what I want changed partner to partner or even session to session. Sometimes it’s the bondage, sometimes the power exchange, sometimes I just want to be a sadist and push the pain threshold. It’s not static, and is not a constant in relationships.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Shameless plug for a Lit friend:

Her shop name is KandlesbyKitten on Fetlife. She's in the UK, but she's got an etsy shop (also twitter and insta).

If you're looking for candles, give her shop a gander!

Fet: https://fetlife.com/users/5324336
etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/KandlesbyKitten

 

[Nzerxx]

In a hotel where the clean up operation is their problem?

File alongside chocolate fondue...

Yes please to both!

 

[AveryElle]

In a hotel where the clean up operation is their problem?

File alongside chocolate fondue...

See I care way more at hotels. The cleaning staff is paid poorly and I really don’t want them to have to deal with my mess. It really makes it hard for me to enjoy the play as much. If I’m worried about ruining someone else’s day at work.
Last time at a hotel, we spent time cleaning up after ourselves. Sexy!
Yeah it sounds pathetic as I write it.

 

[Nzerxx]

Shameless plug for a Lit friend:

Her shop name is KandlesbyKitten on Fetlife. She's in the UK, but she's got an etsy shop (also twitter and insta).

If you're looking for candles, give her shop a gander!

Fet: https://fetlife.com/users/5324336
etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/KandlesbyKitten

Those candles look awesome!

 

[AveryElle]

Shameless plug for a Lit friend:

Her shop name is KandlesbyKitten on Fetlife. She's in the UK, but she's got an etsy shop (also twitter and insta).

If you're looking for candles, give her shop a gander!

Fet: https://fetlife.com/users/5324336
etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/KandlesbyKitten

Lovely candles!
I’ll buy the next ones at the bdsm shop in town. But they are lovely!

 

[AlwaysFara]

See I care way more at hotels. The cleaning staff is paid poorly and I really don’t want them to have to deal with my mess. It really makes it hard for me to enjoy the play as much. If I’m worried about ruining someone else’s day at work.
Last time at a hotel, we spent time cleaning up after ourselves. Sexy!
Yeah it sounds pathetic as I write it.

It sounds kind.

 

[base10]

See I care way more at hotels. The cleaning staff is paid poorly and I really don’t want them to have to deal with my mess. It really makes it hard for me to enjoy the play as much. If I’m worried about ruining someone else’s day at work.
Last time at a hotel, we spent time cleaning up after ourselves. Sexy!
Yeah it sounds pathetic as I write it.

You need what is essentially a giant shower room with a hose and a drain. When playtime is over the mess is just hosed down and disappears. Add waterproof furniture as you wish

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

See I care way more at hotels. The cleaning staff is paid poorly and I really don’t want them to have to deal with my mess. It really makes it hard for me to enjoy the play as much. If I’m worried about ruining someone else’s day at work.
Last time at a hotel, we spent time cleaning up after ourselves. Sexy!
Yeah it sounds pathetic as I write it.

Knowing house keeping staff.

They'd appreciate a fat tip and trash the sheets and wouldn't think twice about it.

 

[AveryElle]

You need what is essentially a giant shower room with a hose and a drain. When playtime is over the mess is just hosed down and disappears. Add waterproof furniture as you wish

I’ve never known wax just to wash off.

 

[AveryElle]

Knowing house keeping staff.

They'd appreciate a fat tip and trash the sheets and wouldn't think twice about it.

I have plenty fat, but not in the cash department. I tip anyway but feel it’s not their job to clean up an unnecessary mess. Wax play has to be cleaner

 

[base10]

I’ve never known wax just to wash off.

No, but after you scrape it off, or use whatever else to get it off your body it just goes down the drain. But wax play is so much fun, I wish it didn’t make such a mess

 

[Paul_Chance]

See I care way more at hotels. The cleaning staff is paid poorly and I really don’t want them to have to deal with my mess. It really makes it hard for me to enjoy the play as much. If I’m worried about ruining someone else’s day at work.
Last time at a hotel, we spent time cleaning up after ourselves. Sexy!
Yeah it sounds pathetic as I write it.

I'm right there with you. It's just my nature to be considerate to strangers and cleaning staff already have a low-paying tough job. Whatever I can do to made their day a little better I do - clean up after myself, tip well.