❓ Inquiring Minds Want To Know - Discussion Thread

[Knoturnal]

<looks around>

I think you're lost, kid.
This is a discussion thread not an "Answer my question thread." But you're new so I'll explain. I ask a question every week, usually something open ended and requiring the sharing of thoughts, feelings or experiences.

If you want to play, awesome! Please answer the question. If not, you aren't compelled to be here.

Im far from being one of your kids ...but I will take your advice to avoid another wild drama here. See you

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Thank you

Oh it was my pleasure. <faps>

 

[seela]

Nope.

 

[seela]

Im far from being one of your kids ...but I will take your advice to avoid another wild drama here. See you

I don't know what other wild drama there is that you've been a part of. But if you seem to find yourself in wild dramas, or borderline wild dramas, often, maybe it's time to stop and think if there is something about the way you communicate that you could maybe tweak.

For example, your first answer to PLP is very condescending complete with the eye rolling emoji, so I can easily see how posting in that manner might land you in the eye of a wild drama.

You are the common denominator in the dramas you find yourself in, and you can only control your own actions. So if you feel like you're involved in a lot of drama and wish you weren't, maybe there is something you can at least try to do differently to stop that from happening.

Just a thought. If you're happy with the status quo, keep going, you do you.

 

[AlwaysFara]

#53 (submitted)

I've seen a lot lately about sub frenzy. Can you discuss your experience with sub frenzy? Also is Dom frenzy a thing? Does the depth of emotion you have for your partner change the dynamic?

Lawd a Mercy!

Yes. I was knee deep in the Dom Jungle and pretty crazed with sub frenzy when I first got here, or maybe I was just a Lit Slut.
Either way, I felt out of control.

 

[tolyk]

53a...
What is subfrenzy?

Splain Lucy....

That was my first thought too

 

[AlwaysFara]

That was my first thought too

When I first realized that my feelings were a thing... that other people felt the same as me and lived life that way. Submissively. Sexually submissive. That there were men like the ones I know now...I went crazy.
Sexually.

I mean, online. But, still.
I edged for days. I took orders. It consumed all my down time... Bla bla bla.

 

[cascadiabound]

#53 (submitted)

I've seen a lot lately about sub frenzy. Can you discuss your experience with sub frenzy?

53a...
What is subfrenzy?

Splain Lucy....

That was my first thought too

subfrenzy cross post

When I first realized that my feelings were a thing... that other people felt the same as me and lived life that way. Submissively. Sexually submissive. That there were men like the ones I know now...I went crazy.
Sexually.

I mean, online. But, still.
I edged for days. I took orders. It consumed all my down time... Bla bla bla.

Yes. All of this for me too.

That, but not only that. Because I was rather late in understanding my sub self and my subby needs, I felt greedy and needy when it became clear that I had been repressing my sub-self for decades. The urgency to make up for lost time and the urgency of my need to feel, to submit, to experience... was overwhelming and I felt overtaken by it like a tidal wave. All my hard won judgment and wisdom and common sense seemed to just disappear.

I think the worst thing for me about sub frenzy looking back, is that I gave away my submission to people who had not earned it and did not deserve it. I had a very difficult time using my words and found myself in situations way past my hard limits.... (yet another failure of sub-frenzy.... a failure to recognize and articulate hard and soft limits because... well... I am supposed to submit? right???)

There are so many things I would do differently had I to do it again. I experienced things I wish I never had when I was in frenzy, and therefore I am grateful that it was a transient condition for me.

 

[AlwaysFara]

subfrenzy cross post



Yes. All of this for me too.

That, but not only that. Because I was rather late in understanding my sub self and my subby needs, I felt greedy and needy when it became clear that I had been repressing my sub-self for decades. The urgency to make up for lost time and the urgency of my need to feel, to submit, to experience... was overwhelming and I felt overtaken by it like a tidal wave. All my hard won judgment and wisdom and common sense seemed to just disappear.

I think the worst thing for me about sub frenzy looking back, is that I gave away my submission to people who had not earned it and did not deserve it. I had a very difficult time using my words and found myself in situations way past my hard limits.... (yet another failure of sub-frenzy.... a failure to recognize and articulate hard and soft limits because... well... I am supposed to submit? right???)

There are so many things I would do differently had I to do it again. I experienced things I wish I never had when I was in frenzy, and therefore I am grateful that it was a transient condition for me.

This.

I also remember you PMing me about sub frenzy and to be careful. Which was so nice, bit of course, I took no heed, because SUB FRENZY!!!

 

[cascadiabound]

This.

I also remember you PMing me about sub frenzy and to be careful. Which was so nice, bit of course, I took no heed, because SUB FRENZY!!!

Yea. smh.
I wish someone had warned me, but I doubt I would have paid any attention either.

 

[BadAmy]

*You're

https://media.giphy.com/media/UIqPicSnCBNe0/giphy.gif

 

[Mei5ter]

#53 (submitted)

I've seen a lot lately about sub frenzy. Can you discuss your experience with sub frenzy? Also is Dom frenzy a thing? Does the depth of emotion you have for your partner change the dynamic?

Dom frenzy? Well, I am told that some dominants can get carried away in the heat of the moment, and inflict pain to an extent and in ways beyond their normal limits.

Having that complete control over another human being in that way can be intoxicating for some. Or so I'm told.

 

[AlwaysFara]

Dom frenzy? Well, I am told that some dominants can get carried away in the heat of the moment, and inflict pain to an extent and in ways beyond their normal limits.

Having that complete control over another human being in that way can be intoxicating for some. Or so I'm told.

That’s what we as subs need to be careful about. The Dom needs to have a lot of control, and the couple needs to communicate and respect boundaries CLEARLY.
The fact that subs “in frenzy” jump right in can be a huge issue, especially with an unseasoned Dom.

 

[cascadiabound]

#53 (submitted)

Also is Dom frenzy a thing? Does the depth of emotion you have for your partner change the dynamic?

Dom frenzy is definitely a thing, though I know less about it.
I have watched it in friends as they crave, without the application of good judgment, to find a sub, or a raft of subs to dominate or play with or order around or give daddydom care to.

What I have witnessed is doms who want a sub so badly, that they make a bad match and end up being damaged by interlinking their lives with someone who has needs that do not match theirs or with someone who is genuinely unhealthy and/or manipulative. Doms get just as invested in relationship as subs do and they can be hurt just as badly when things go wrong or when limits get crossed.

Does the depth of emotion you have for your partner change the [sub frenzy] dynamic? Is that the question?

I kind of think this question doesn't really apply. I really cannot imagine being able to form a lasting connection with another person while in frenzy. It is almost by definition unhealthy and transient.

Unlike most of the rest of my life, the men/ doms/ pseudo doms that I interacted with during sub frenzy are people that I have no interest in ever interacting with ever again. This is part due to embarrassment and part due to resentment... that none of those guys took any care to protect me.

 

[barefootgirl69]

Yea. smh.
I wish someone had warned me, but I doubt I would have paid any attention either.

Some of us KNOW, but still do stupid things. Give too much to the wrong people, undeserving of it...they don't give themselves in the same way...they don't care about your feelings or needs...and, then, they bully/mock/become an ass when you bring it up or point out something. Never again. I don't think my submission needs to be earned, but it damn sure needs to be appreciated.

#takingitslow

 

[TANSTAAFL58]

That's what I love about this thread. I can contribute what I know ( in this case, nothing) and learn something new, then (only then) dig deeper.

Drive on.

 

[BadAmy]

Meh. Not useful.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

#53 (submitted)

I've seen a lot lately about sub frenzy. Can you discuss your experience with sub frenzy? Also is Dom frenzy a thing? Does the depth of emotion you have for your partner change the dynamic?

I'll echo what most of you said...


Sub frenzy has lots of definitions but basically that feeling when you first jump in that you want to rush in and experience everything and are less than cautious with who you submit to and what that means.

I had about a three month spell where I was in over my head. I'm embarrassed about it (not because I'm unique I think a lot of subs deal with this) but because I experience a lot of "firsts" with people that didn't mean very much to me.

I think the second part of the question matters a lot in comparison. Sub frenzy = orgasms but an intimate connection with someone, trust and passion and understanding and depth well... those orgasms are fucking life changing as are the experiences.

 

[AlwaysFara]

That's what I love about this thread. I can contribute what I know ( in this case, nothing) and learn something new, then (only then) dig deeper.

Drive on.

I know. This is such a great thread.

 

[AlwaysFara]

I'll echo what most of you said...


Sub frenzy has lots of definitions but basically that feeling when you first jump in that you want to rush in and experience everything and are less than cautious with who you submit to and what that means.

I had about a three month spell where I was in over my head. I'm embarrassed about it (not because I'm unique I think a lot of subs deal with this) but because I experience a lot of "firsts" with people that didn't mean very much to me.

I think the second part of the question matters a lot in comparison. Sub frenzy = orgasms but an intimate connection with someone, trust and passion and understanding and depth well... those orgasms are fucking life changing as are the experiences.

What you said about firsts hit me hard. The first time I went into
subspace was with someone who didn’t give a crap about me.
While I’m glad it happened, the experience with him, after??? Horrible.
Luckily I had a super good GF here to hold me up. She gave me aftercare by staying on the phone with me and simply letting me cry.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

I know. This is such a great thread.

I mean... you can always google it.

 

[cascadiabound]

What you said about firsts hit me hard. The first time I went into
subspace was with someone who didn’t give a crap about me.
While I’m glad it happened, the experience with him, after??? Horrible.
Luckily I had a super good GF here to hold me up. She gave me aftercare by staying on the phone with me and simply letting me cry.

I wish I could count on one hand the number of times during my frenzy that I found myself utterly alone and sobbing uncontrollably.

 

[AlwaysFara]

I wish I could count on one hand the number of times during my frenzy that I found myself utterly alone and sobbing uncontrollably.

I’m sorry. Truly.
I think all of us have. That’s part of what made me change from seeing every women here as a rival. Now I see us all as sisters. It’s difficult to weather Lit and matters of the heart. And we’ve all been so vulnerable at times. Most of us have.
I feel a huge kinship with so many of the women here, especially the subs.

 

[barefootgirl69]

This all reminds me of being on the rebound.

I was thinking more like having carbs after 3 months of Keto.

It's fun, it tastes so gooooood...but, after, you're miserable.

 

[cascadiabound]

I’m sorry. Truly.
I think all of us have. That’s part of what made me change from seeing every women here as a rival. Now I see us all as sisters. It’s difficult to weather Lit and matters of the heart. And we’ve all been so vulnerable at times. Most of us have.
I feel a huge kinship with so many of the women here, especially the subs.

thanks Fara. Truly.