❓ PLP Inquires II ❓

[AlpineFresco]

03.24.25

(It’s a week of deep questions that have been on my mind due to some book learnin’. Answer as openly as you feel comfortable but I’m really curious about everyone's answers.)

Let’s Talk Love!

Love - the passionate, romantic, I can’t think about anyone else, in-love love! Have you ever been in love in your life? Has someone else been in love with you? Is that number equal or have you loved or been loved without reciprocation?

Do you fall in love easily - are you an in-love-with-love person? Or does it take something defying all odds to make love happen? Some research suggests that merely being around or talking to someone frequently is enough to give us the love feeling? How much contact do you need with someone you love? Are you a quality over quantity person or do you like to be together often?

Have you ever fallen out of love or had someone fall out of love with you? Did it feel like a choice or did it happen unconsciously? Has your passionate love ever transitioned to companionate love?

Is being In-Love something you actively need, want or pursue?

ETA - how do you define love?

So, love. I'll start from the bottom (hah!) because "how do you define love?" is a fascinating question. I think the question is oriented primarily around romantic love but I'd be remiss to not reference the other kinds, as BSK has alluded to. I think, it is good to embrace love of different kinds with different people. I have friends I love. I have had pets I loved. I have family I love.

But, romantic/sexual loves are different. And, I will separate it from sexual attraction with no other feelings attached, because that makes sense to my psyche (and if it doesn't for yours, that's cool). So, back to the top. I have been in love, yes, several times. I do not fall easily or often. However, I do know that my first serious girlfriend did not love me while I did love her. Otherwise? I believe it has been equal.

I have absolutely fallen out of love - that first person I mentioned, we took a break, transitioned to friendship, and over time we just grew apart and as I observed we were heading in different directions I also (mercifully!) observed my feelings faded and then just disappeared. I have another ex where we transitioned smoothly from partners to friends and have maintained that rock-solid friendship for many many years. I love her dearly but I don't believe either of us were ever in love with the other. And, honestly, this was the least passionate relationship I've had, so perhaps that made the transition to friendship that much easier.

Is being in love something I need? I think it brings a richness to my life to love and be loved, to be in love and to be someone's beloved. Again I recognise this isn't true for everyone, so I purposefully only speak for myself.

An excellent topic, Pulpy!

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

03.24.25

(It’s a week of deep questions that have been on my mind due to some book learnin’. Answer as openly as you feel comfortable but I’m really curious about everyone's answers.)

Thanks to everyone being so open so far! I know it's a deep question but I think if we can talk about sounding, squirting and sucking - we can talk about deep things too.

Let’s Talk Love!

Love - the passionate, romantic, I can’t think about anyone else, in-love love! Have you ever been in love in your life? Has someone else been in love with you? Is that number equal or have you loved or been loved without reciprocation?

I have been lucky enough to be in love and been loved in return - the number is less than four. The number isn't equal. See below for probable reasons.

Do you fall in love easily - are you an in-love-with-love person? Or does it take something defying all odds to make love happen? Some research suggests that merely being around or talking to someone frequently is enough to give us the love feeling? How much contact do you need with someone you love? Are you a quality over quantity person or do you like to be together often?

I do not fall in love easily. In fact, I kind of fight it and make people fight to love me. Not a great trait but I also have learned to be wary of people who fall in love easily and often. Nothing at all wrong with it but I think love means different things to me. I love deeply, completely and forever. I'm glad it's a rare and mystical thing for me. It's overwhelming.
Frequent exposure alone doesn't merely equal love. I think it's a magic thing that just happens when most of the right things in a person aligns and you can see each other completely. I'm deeply a quality over quantity person. Though when I love someone, I kind of want to crawl in their skin and be as close as possible. I'll take rare depth over frequent surface-y time any day of the week.

*I asked specifically about romantic love but I am struck with how differently I view friendship love. I love friends far more easily and often and I want to be loved by my friends in a similar way. I'm really and undeservedly lucky to have and have had some amazing friends.

Is being In-Love something you actively need, want or pursue?

Being In-Love isn't something I pursue. I don't think it works like that. Am I actively avoiding it? You don't know me.
Being loved and loving others generally is something I want and work towards.

ETA - how do you define love?

While I don't ascribe to much about religion anymore. I think one thing the bible got pitch perfect was it's definition of love (1 Corinthians 13:4-8 - I know scripture on Lit? I can feel the lightning now!)

Love is patient and kind
It doesn't envy or boast
It is not proud or rude
It is not pompous or easily angered
It keeps no records of wrongs
It doesn't delight in doing wrong but loves the truth
It always protects
Always trusts
Always hopes
Always perseveres

So, when I love someone, I strive for that +some. And I know someone loves me when I get that +some.




(The +some is sex - for the record)

 

[RosewoodTulip]

03.24.25

(It’s a week of deep questions that have been on my mind due to some book learnin’. Answer as openly as you feel comfortable but I’m really curious about everyone's answers.)

Let’s Talk Love!

Love - the passionate, romantic, I can’t think about anyone else, in-love love! Have you ever been in love in your life? Has someone else been in love with you? Is that number equal or have you loved or been loved without reciprocation?

Do you fall in love easily - are you an in-love-with-love person? Or does it take something defying all odds to make love happen? Some research suggests that merely being around or talking to someone frequently is enough to give us the love feeling? How much contact do you need with someone you love? Are you a quality over quantity person or do you like to be together often?

Have you ever fallen out of love or had someone fall out of love with you? Did it feel like a choice or did it happen unconsciously? Has your passionate love ever transitioned to companionate love?

Is being In-Love something you actively need, want or pursue?

ETA - how do you define love?

Not sure I should be answering questions about love today after I've had a sharp reminder of what happens when it goes bad but never mind

I've had many crushes, limerence, infatuation etc but I've only ever felt what I believe to be love for one person and I'd like to think that at some point he loved me too. I don't think anyone else has ever loved me in that way - if they have they've kept it very quiet.

I am very cautious. I know if I let myself I could easily fall for the next person who is even just a little kind to me because I desperately want to be loved but I don't trust my judgement anymore - which is absolutely unfair - but that's just how it is. Someone would have to really battle through my labyrinth filled with anxiety, insecurity and trauma for me to let love in again and the odds of that happening are getting smaller and smaller the older and more isolated I get.

I know that should I find someone I want to be all in. I want to find a love that feels like home. I want silly jokes on the sofa, a best friend, someone I can talk to, laugh with, someone who challenges me. Someone who makes me feel safe.
I've had a few fwb situationship type of things in an attempt to get some needs met but it's not really for me. I'm demisexual. The more I know and care for someone, the more I'll fall for them.

My one experience with love ended terribly. I'm so scared at possibly looking for it again but I'm even more scared of never finding it and spending the rest of my life alone.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

Not sure I should be answering questions about love today after I've had a sharp reminder of what happens when it goes bad but never mind

I've had many crushes, limerence, infatuation etc but I've only ever felt what I believe to be love for one person and I'd like to think that at some point he loved me too. I don't think anyone else has ever loved me in that way - if they have they've kept it very quiet.

I am very cautious. I know if I let myself I could easily fall for the next person who is even just a little kind to me because I desperately want to be loved but I don't trust my judgement anymore - which is absolutely unfair - but that's just how it is. Someone would have to really battle through my labyrinth filled with anxiety, insecurity and trauma for me to let love in again and the odds of that happening are getting smaller and smaller the older and more isolated I get.

I know that should I find someone I want to be all in. I want to find a love that feels like home. I want silly jokes on the sofa, a best friend, someone I can talk to, laugh with, someone who challenges me. Someone who makes me feel safe.
I've had a few fwb situationship type of things in an attempt to get some needs met but it's not really for me. I'm demisexual. The more I know and care for someone, the more I'll fall for them.

My one experience with love ended terribly. I'm so scared at possibly looking for it again but I'm even more scared of never finding it and spending the rest of my life alone.

Thank you for your openness.
I believe you are going to find it when you're least expecting it.

 

[RosewoodTulip]

Thank you for your openness.
I believe you are going to find it when you're least expecting it.

Either that or the Spanish Inquisition!

Thank you

 

[Indie]

I wish falling out of love was as easy as falling into love.

 

[UsuallyPresent]

Either that or the Spanish Inquisition!

Thank you

No one expects to love the Spanish Inquisition!

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

03.27.25

Jealousy. We all feel it sometimes -
Do you get jealous easily? What type of things are you more likely to feel jealousy about? Have you ever been surprised over feeling jealousy about something? How do you handle that feeling? Have you ever had someone feel jealous of you for some reason? How did you handle that?

Bonus Question for the men of Lit -
Do you ever feel jealous of the ease of attention the women of Lit receive? I don't mean any ill will but does it ever feel like you have to try twice as hard for half as much - whether it's a picture you post, flirting, or a thoughtful reply to a comment? (I'm asking this with sincerity and with the full knowledge that men are existing in a system they created so answer this question honestly but mindfully.)

 

[MrMakersMark]

03.27.25

Jealousy. We all feel it sometimes -
Do you get jealous easily? What type of things are you more likely to feel jealousy about? Have you ever been surprised over feeling jealousy about something? How do you handle that feeling? Have you ever had someone feel jealous of you for some reason? How did you handle that?

As a younger Man it was more of an issue.
It was once a very easy thing to feel.
I was given more reason to be, as it was over a partner.
To be honest I don't recall it ever being surprising, but it certainly wasn't pleasant and in my youth I handled it poorly.
I don't get jealous easily at all now.
That time and much of those feelings are behind me somewhere.

Bonus Question for the men of Lit -
Do you ever feel jealous of the ease of attention the women of Lit receive?

Not at all.
Women here deserve that ease of attention and I'm glad they have it.
Besides, that ease of attention is just as easily pitied.
A sword with 2 sharp edges.
Not all attention is good.

I don't mean any ill will but does it ever feel like you have to try twice as hard for half as much - whether it's a picture you post, flirting, or a thoughtful reply to a comment? (I'm asking this with sincerity and with the full knowledge that men are existing in a system they created so answer this question honestly but mindfully.)

No.
Nothing I've done here has ever felt like effort.
And I don't hunger terribly for attention.
I'm a goofy fucker, and will find a way to entertain myself if need be.

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

03.27.25

Jealousy. We all feel it sometimes -
Do you get jealous easily? What type of things are you more likely to feel jealousy about? Have you ever been surprised over feeling jealousy about something? How do you handle that feeling? Have you ever had someone feel jealous of you for some reason? How did you handle that?

I don’t deal well with uncertainty. If I know where I stand, what things mean, or don’t, I’m pretty secure in myself. But I have been in situations were I didn’t feel that and…I don’t think I’d describe me feelings as jealous, I sort of associate jealousy with a desire to control that I don’t feel, but insecurity and confusion don’t make me feel good or want to continue doing what I’m doing and can be functionally very similar to being jealous.

Bonus Question for the men of Lit -
Do you ever feel jealous of the ease of attention the women of Lit receive? I don't mean any ill will but does it ever feel like you have to try twice as hard for half as much - whether it's a picture you post, flirting, or a thoughtful reply to a comment? (I'm asking this with sincerity and with the full knowledge that men are existing in a system they created so answer this question honestly but mindfully.)

at the risk of sounding arrogant, being a good dude is a pretty low bar and it generally draws the attention of a higher quality audience. I’m quite happy with the quality and quantity of my interactions here.

 

[morelikeasong]

03.24.25

(It’s a week of deep questions that have been on my mind due to some book learnin’. Answer as openly as you feel comfortable but I’m really curious about everyone's answers.)

Let’s Talk Love!

Love - the passionate, romantic, I can’t think about anyone else, in-love love! Have you ever been in love in your life? Has someone else been in love with you? Is that number equal or have you loved or been loved without reciprocation?

Do you fall in love easily - are you an in-love-with-love person? Or does it take something defying all odds to make love happen? Some research suggests that merely being around or talking to someone frequently is enough to give us the love feeling? How much contact do you need with someone you love? Are you a quality over quantity person or do you like to be together often?

Have you ever fallen out of love or had someone fall out of love with you? Did it feel like a choice or did it happen unconsciously? Has your passionate love ever transitioned to companionate love?

Is being In-Love something you actively need, want or pursue?

ETA - how do you define love?

Playing catch-up

Starting from the bottom… I can’t define love. I think that’s the most complicated element of this.

But I do know that I love love. I throw around the word love with my friends pretty easily, and mean it. I care about them deeply. I’m more cautious with romantic love, but I don’t resist it. I think falling in love is beautiful and fun and precious and exciting.
I don’t believe it’s something we only have for one person but I do believe there are different levels of intensity and commitment to the feelings. Even with friendship love. When I tell my best friend of 20 years that I love her, I mean she is my family and she is stuck with me and I will hop on a flight if she needs me. When I tell a friend on the boards that I love them, I mean their presence is meaningful and important to me.

There have been times where I’ve questioned the romantic loves I’ve had. Wondered if I “really” loved them or if I just thought I did. I don’t really think like that anymore. If I thought I loved them, I did. Simple as that.
I’m cautious to name it. I do think that it means something on a romantic level that I don’t toss around willy nilly. But I’m not phobic of it.

I’m definitely a quality time girl. I like attention. And if I’m romantically entangled with someone, I need to feel like giving me their time and attention is a priority. Now I’m looking back at the question and it was kind of posed as quality vs quantity, but I want both .

I have fallen out of love before. It has sometimes but not always transferred to compassionate love. Depends why I fell out of love, I suppose.

Do I pursue love? Not specifically.
Well, I suppose I am kind of pursuing friendship love currently, IRL. Trying to find a friendship that I care about and want to nurture in that way.


…Alrighty now that I’ve written this essay I’ll try to tackle today’s question next, with significantly more brevity.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

Alrighty now that I’ve written this essay I’ll try to tackle today’s question next, with significantly more brevity.

Man, fuck brevity

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

Man, fuck brevity

We’re a rambling bunch

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

We’re a rambling bunch

It's the whole point!

 

[morelikeasong]

03.27.25

Jealousy. We all feel it sometimes -
Do you get jealous easily? What type of things are you more likely to feel jealousy about? Have you ever been surprised over feeling jealousy about something? How do you handle that feeling? Have you ever had someone feel jealous of you for some reason? How did you handle that?

Yeaahhhh, I get jealous more than I’d like to.
I’m more insecure than people guess I am. I’m rarely surprised that I’m jealous, but I am often annoyed by it. Like, I don’t want to feel it but I still do.

How do I handle it? Mostly stuff it down into the abyss . Very occasionally, I’ll say something, like if I feel like it’s affecting my mood or behavior in a way that I think should be explained. Or if I genuinely think that it’s an appropriate scenario to ask someone’s behavior to change. But mostly I just stuff it down and tell myself to get over it. I don’t like to put my feelings onto other people or make them feel responsible for them. I don’t want to second guess everything I do and I don’t want someone else to feel that way either on my account.

I get in my head a lot. Probably because my brain gremlins are trying to wrangle all the shit I’ve stuffed down in there

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

Brain gremlins is an excellent descriptor!! I'm stealing.

 

[Indie]

03.27.25

Jealousy. We all feel it sometimes -
Do you get jealous easily? What type of things are you more likely to feel jealousy about? Have you ever been surprised over feeling jealousy about something? How do you handle that feeling? Have you ever had someone feel jealous of you for some reason? How did you handle that?

Bonus Question for the men of Lit -
Do you ever feel jealous of the ease of attention the women of Lit receive? I don't mean any ill will but does it ever feel like you have to try twice as hard for half as much - whether it's a picture you post, flirting, or a thoughtful reply to a comment? (I'm asking this with sincerity and with the full knowledge that men are existing in a system they created so answer this question honestly but mindfully.)

I was just talking to a friend about this. If my needs are being met, if my cup is full, then I am unlikely to be affected by jealousy. Not sweating the small stuff is easy when you're not dying of thirst.

But if my needs go unmet, my cup is empty while others remain full, then it can be really hard to remain unaffected.

I can tell myself all day that if someone wanted to spend time with me, they would. I can tell myself not to chase them. Not to beg. Not to get jealous.

But it doesn't work when my cup is empty.

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

03.24.25

(It’s a week of deep questions that have been on my mind due to some book learnin’. Answer as openly as you feel comfortable but I’m really curious about everyone's answers.)

Let’s Talk Love!

Love - the passionate, romantic, I can’t think about anyone else, in-love love! Have you ever been in love in your life? Has someone else been in love with you? Is that number equal or have you loved or been loved without reciprocation?

Do you fall in love easily - are you an in-love-with-love person? Or does it take something defying all odds to make love happen? Some research suggests that merely being around or talking to someone frequently is enough to give us the love feeling? How much contact do you need with someone you love? Are you a quality over quantity person or do you like to be together often?

Have you ever fallen out of love or had someone fall out of love with you? Did it feel like a choice or did it happen unconsciously? Has your passionate love ever transitioned to companionate love?

Is being In-Love something you actively need, want or pursue?

ETA - how do you define love?

I have always believed deeply and truly in this quote. I have been fortunate to have had a mother who despite lots of reasons not to was a genuine and actively loving human being.

I’m not terribly interested in precise definitions of love. I do think I mythologize it less than some? Many? People do. It’s a sense of active desire for someone’s well being. How exactly that can or does manifest varies depending on the person, their needs and the situation. I feel it fairly easily, but very selectively. It doesn’t take a sign from the universe, but there does need to be some je ne sais quois that takes someone from casual acquaintance whom I wish the best for as a rule and someone I say I love. Time is often a factor and I think validly so. there’s a depth of understanding that you can only get be spending time with someone. But there are people whom I’ve loved very quickly and time in those instances serves to cure and settle that love more than anything else.

I don’t know that I fall out of love exactly..:most of the people who I’m close to I have been close to for a long time. I’m not particularly needy and I don’t communicate with them daily or anything but I do value them and make a point of making sure I touch base regularly.

But I do think love can change. The intensity and fiery passion, the “shiny and new” phase as I refer to it, just can’t last forever. But it doesn’t need to morph into neglect either. That’s a choice that I don’t tend to make. Sometimes there can be behavior that I didn’t see initially or that is new that makes me think the connection needs to be reduced or severed.. but even in those cases in my life I’d still characterize my feelings for those people as “love”, just love I can’t actively engage in. I wish them the best and if they wanted help I would be there. But boundaries don’t come with a hardened heart for me.

I definitely need to be loved. Isolation is not a heathy mental state for me. It doesn’t have to be sexual love but closeness, intimacy, connection. That’s crucial to my well being (as moving away from my social circle has definitely highlighted)

 

[LadyLascivious1]

I have so much to catch up on since I just realized I somehow missed a notification and am weeks behind!

Alright, um, "study buddies" and art lovers

Do you have any favorite SURREALIST or IMPRESSIONIST art?
I had to create a surrealist piece of art (which I will not be sharing here) but it got me thinking that of all the ISMs (surrealism, impressionism, modernism, post-modernism, cubism, etc), I think Surrealism has always been my favorite. It speaks to the spooky weirdo in me.

I really like whimsical, strange, bizarre, weird, and even spooky/creepy/dark stuff, but I’m very hit or miss with surrealist works. The drippy Dali clocks squick me out, but other surrealist works I adore.

My favorite classic surrealist artist is probably René Magritte with “The Lovers” being my personal favorite.



My favorite modern surrealist artist is Henn Kim. I have so many of her works displayed in my house. And I can so easily lose myself in her work which is interesting because they’re all black and white drawings.



Others I really love:

 

[LadyLascivious1]

Part 2

More that I love (images are representative of film):



This really was me limiting myself or I’d spend all night sharing

 

[LadyLascivious1]

I'm trying to find a downside lol
Can someone bring one taco too though?

I always have a taco with me and you are welcome to it

Look at these little lizard guys!!

I will be Googling those because I kind of want to see that cuteness every day! This exactly how I ended up being a very happy bunny mom

Alrighty now that I’ve written this essay I’ll try to tackle today’s question next, with significantly more brevity.

Man, fuck brevity

Brevity is overrated when it comes to thoughtful and interesting topics. I still appreciate that @Wand3rlust told me she enjoyed my rambling answers when I apologized for it once.

 

[LadyLascivious1]

Crap, I posted the art in the wrong thread! Sorry, @PrettyLilPussy19

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

Crap, I posted the art in the wrong thread! Sorry, @PrettyLilPussy19

Lol it's ok. This thread won't suffer for culture.
Thank you for getting all these together for me

 

[AlpineFresco]

Crap, I posted the art in the wrong thread! Sorry, @PrettyLilPussy19

Oh thank Christ there's finally some culture in this thread

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

Oh thank Christ there's finally some culture in this thread

The dumpster is getting too fancy foe this raccoon!! Ahhh