❓ PLP Inquires II ❓

[Orchidea73]

Hey...they aren't my reasons so they are very very different.

Well, in that case, I'm very glad you "have just come to understand" that fact. Better late than never. lol

I can't even tell you what mine are cause I really don't know. That even makes the differences more different. I know I am right ...dammit all

You always are, darling.

 

[StillRain]

03/21/23

Easy question today.

Do you think you're approachable? Do you seem to invite interaction or reflect it?
In your opinion, what makes someone approachable for you?

I don’t think I present as terribly approachable. More often than not the over arching first commentary I get from new people who message me is that they were nervous to message me or hadn’t before because I am ‘intimidating’. While that’s absurd to me, it does keep me in my own little bubble which is kind of okay by me. For me, as the years have gone by on Lit I have become much less inviting than I once was, and also increasingly less enthusiastic about what goes down on Lit as being genuine connectedness that I want to invest myself in.

What makes someone approachable? I think @AmberLGreen is the perfect example of an approachable person. Humour, floats around, posts all over the place, doesn’t exclude anyone like almost everyone else does to someone on some level, Just a welcoming friendly vibe about her for everyone on Lit - whoever you are. If you ask me to define approachable I’d say it should have her face next to it in the dictionary. Especially when she’s drunk and singing to you on Skype. Am I right?

 

[LadyLascivious1]

03/21/23

Easy question today.

Do you think you're approachable? Do you seem to invite interaction or reflect it?
In your opinion, what makes someone approachable for you?

I think it depends on the setting and the person on the other end. In my personal life, I think strangers find me very approachable. I can talk to almost anyone and I’m often smiling or laughing. In social settings, I’ll go out of my way to put people at ease or include them. Crossing that line from stranger or acquaintance to real friend (in my estimation) tends to take quite a lot though and just the right sort of connection. At work, my title can intimidate people until they know me better.

On Lit I think I’m unknown or a bit unapproachable based on the fact that with most friends here I was the one who initiated things

I rarely find others unapproachable unless they seem regularly angry or overly negative. The people I find most approachable and that I gravitate to are those that engage in fun banter on the threads, have a sense of humor, and have interesting things to say when topics turn to real things.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

03/22/23

It's time for class. I want to talk about chemistry.

I think chemistry between people is a little hard to define, but I think most of us know if when we feel it. Do you find that to be true? Do you think chemistry is immediate or can it grow and be cultivated? Have you ever had someone that you really liked but you didn't feel like the chemistry was immediately there? Is chemistry even that important to you? Have you had chemistry with someone you didn't even like that much? What do you think is the best way to spark chemistry with another person?

 

[Dribble]

I have known her throughout all my lives...and hers. We are tied together in some warped way. You can't have one without the other. Yet the end...in each lifetime...ends the same. Off she goes leaving the burnt Earth behind. She does not belong to me.

But even knowing how it ends...there is nothing I can do to avoid it. I know how she smells before I hold her. I can point to her with my eyes closed in a full room. I can't explain it. It just is.

Some call it chemistry. I have found chemistry with many. But only what I search for in one. I believe chemistry is a connection at a deeper level. Sometimes it is purely physical and only lasts a few months. But others...it can be cultivated. I have found the cultivated to be more true. To be more rewarding. Maybe in the next life? Things will be different? And she will be happy? But then...would the chemistry exist?

Live in the moment. Hold it for all it is. I think I over think things some days

 

[lakesailer_mi]

03/22/23

It's time for class. I want to talk about chemistry.

I think chemistry between people is a little hard to define, but I think most of us know if when we feel it. Do you find that to be true? Do you think chemistry is immediate or can it grow and be cultivated? Have you ever had someone that you really liked but you didn't feel like the chemistry was immediately there? Is chemistry even that important to you? Have you had chemistry with someone you didn't even like that much? What do you think is the best way to spark chemistry with another person?

Exothermic or Endothermic?

OK, so I think "chemistry" between people is pretty "real." I certainly have had people (both men and women) that I felt an instant rapport with. An instant chemistry (there's someone here now who the chemistry was pretty great right from the get go). Sometimes though, the chemistry is fleeting. (and I'm not talking about physical) More like a flash in the pan, and as you get to know them it goes away. There was something early that "clicked" but nothing else (or little else) does. In other cases though, I find that as I talk with them more, get to know them the "initial chemistry" turns into something even deeper and more solid. Something that is at times very special and amazing. It can be romantic heart: ), or it can be simply a deep friendship (also beautiful ) that continues for years.

For me Chemistry is important, but that may be because I define it as that thing that means you really share common interests and viewpoints....
It means that you feel a connection in ways that are special. So it's crucial. I've never had "chemistry" with someone I "didn't like that much", because it can't be chemistry (lust perhaps, but not chemistry). If what you're asking is can you have chemistry with someone you aren't physically attracted to, the answer is yes in many ways, and it can even move from "not really attracted" to "really attracted." (although, honestly, I can't think of any right off the bat).

For me, "sparking" chemistry requires talking, communicating, etc. And it can be "sparked" or slowly developed.

 

[Orchidea73]

03/22/23

It's time for class. I want to talk about chemistry.

I think chemistry between people is a little hard to define, but I think most of us know if when we feel it. Do you find that to be true?

Yes.

Do you think chemistry is immediate or can it grow and be cultivated?

Hard to tell. Love can grow though, which would make chemistry a moot point, perhaps? I don't know.

Have you ever had someone that you really liked but you didn't feel like the chemistry was immediately there?

Yes but I don't remember "finding" chemistry later.

Is chemistry even that important to you?

Up to a certain point.

Have you had chemistry with someone you didn't even like that much?

No.

What do you think is the best way to spark chemistry with another person?

I don't think there is a way you can make that happen. It isn't something you decide to have. Either it is there or it isn't.

 

[Apisto42]

03/22/23

It's time for class. I want to talk about chemistry.

D for done baby, I should ace this shit.

I think chemistry between people is a little hard to define, but I think most of us know if when we feel it. Do you find that to be true?

Personal definition: when you click with someone new. Doesn’t have to be sexual at all, though I suppose that was your implied meaning? Met a guy this week in this training I’m doing. We have chemistry from the standpoint of we easily understand each other and are comfortable talking about stuff you wouldn’t necessarily talk about Ruth a stranger in a professional situation.

Do you think chemistry is immediate or can it grow and be cultivated?

It doesn’t grow. I can learn to respect someone, like them, but I’ve never developed that same feeling of chemistry.

Have you ever had someone that you really liked but you didn't feel like the chemistry was immediately there?

No, because for me, immediately liking someone means that I already feel that connection.

Is chemistry even that important to you?

For sex? Definitely. If it’s not there, what’s the point? I can jerk off and have a better orgasm than spending lots of time trying to make a connection.

Have you had chemistry with someone you didn't even like that much?

Nope.

What do you think is the best way to spark chemistry with another person?

Be myself. There’s no point in pretending to be something other than what I am right now.

 

[Paul_Chance]

It's time for class. I want to talk about chemistry.
I think chemistry between people is a little hard to define, but I think most of us know if when we feel it. Do you find that to be true?

Yes, I think we know when we feel it.

Do you think chemistry is immediate or can it grow and be cultivated?

Both. With some people the chemistry is immediate. With others, it's more of a slow burn that has to be nurtured, and then either grows or dies.

Have you ever had someone that you really liked but you didn't feel like the chemistry was immediately there?

Oh yes. That happens sometimes too. Chemistry also ebbs and flows like a tide, in my experience.

Is chemistry even that important to you?

It matters, but it doesn't matter to much. It's just one of the many things that fold into a good relationship.

Have you had chemistry with someone you didn't even like that much?

Yes, I certainly have. That is always kind of dangerous because it can lead you into those relationships that are great - but not good.

What do you think is the best way to spark chemistry with another person?

Honest engagement, presence, and shared physical experiences.

 

[AmberLGreen]

I don’t think I present as terribly approachable. More often than not the over arching first commentary I get from new people who message me is that they were nervous to message me or hadn’t before because I am ‘intimidating’. While that’s absurd to me, it does keep me in my own little bubble which is kind of okay by me. For me, as the years have gone by on Lit I have become much less inviting than I once was, and also increasingly less enthusiastic about what goes down on Lit as being genuine connectedness that I want to invest myself in.

What makes someone approachable? I think @AmberLGreen is the perfect example of an approachable person. Humour, floats around, posts all over the place, doesn’t exclude anyone like almost everyone else does to someone on some level, Just a welcoming friendly vibe about her for everyone on Lit - whoever you are. If you ask me to define approachable I’d say it should have her face next to it in the dictionary. Especially when she’s drunk and singing to you on Skype. Am I right?

The first time I messaged you I was drunk and told you that you were an inspiration to women all around the world

You are very approachable and since I joined Lit, I have known you to be a true supporting friend to many people.

I do think I am approachable but it is very rare that anybody approaches me. I am not everybody’s cup of tea but I don’t think I am heavily disliked either. I tell myself that people don’t approach me because it is difficult to tell the type of person I am by the way I post. How can you have a conversation with somebody who doesn’t give any indication of what they do and don’t like?

 

[OrdinaryPerson]

I think chemistry between people is a little hard to define, but I think most of us know if when we feel it. Do you find that to be true?

Yes. I think its whatever magic that happens so that you truly enjoy someone else's company. Maybe its communication style, same sense of humor, body language etc. Doesnt have to be romantic. Its the thing that create belly laughs and makes time fly with some people but not others.

Do you think chemistry is immediate or can it grow and be cultivated?

Immediate in real life.
I think chemistry online can be a bit different and maybe that can be cultivated.

Have you ever had someone that you really liked but you didn't feel like the chemistry was immediately there?

Theres people i admire and people im attracted to that i dont have chemistry with. I dont think chemistry is needed to have some sort of attraction or admiration.

Is chemistry even that important to you?

I dont think I've had a relationship or deep friendship with anyone i didnt have some chemistry with from the get go.

Have you had chemistry with someone you didn't even like that much?

Yes. Its a weird thing when you enjoy someone but also know its a bad for you.

What do you think is the best way to spark chemistry with another person?

I dont think you can

 

[Deleted member 6592667]

It's time for class. I want to talk about chemistry.

Awesome! We're making meth?

I think chemistry between people is a little hard to define, but I think most of us know if when we feel it. Do you find that to be true?

Absolutely yes. Some people you just gel with. Natural attraction, it feels easy and effortless. It doesn't even have to be romantic or sexual. You just naturally click as people.

Do you think chemistry is immediate or can it grow and be cultivated?

For the most part it's immediate I think. But it can evolve too.

Have you ever had someone that you really liked but you didn't feel like the chemistry was immediately there?

Not that I can recall? I'm sure it can happen though.

Is chemistry even that important to you?

When it comes to sex and relationships? Yeah, you gotta have it

Have you had chemistry with someone you didn't even like that much?

Never. If I don't like you my dick won't respond.

What do you think is the best way to spark chemistry with another person?

I think just talking and communicating. If you feel a sense of excitement right off you may have something.

 

[MedicalMuse]

03/22/23

It's time for class. I want to talk about chemistry.

I think chemistry between people is a little hard to define, but I think most of us know if when we feel it. Do you find that to be true?

Yep, for the most part. I think chemistry is hard to define, because sometimes I mistake it for rapport or banter, not necessarily chemistry.
My husband says one persons report is another persons chemistry.

Do you think chemistry is immediate or can it grow and be cultivated?

Oh, usually it’s immediate. But sometimes I don’t pay attention and I just wander aimlessly and assume people are nice.

Have you ever had someone that you really liked but you didn't feel like the chemistry was immediately there?

In a way, I guess. I really like a lot of people. I don’t want to fuck all of them.

Is chemistry even that important to you?

Well that’s a loaded question. If it’s not, what’s left? Intense like? It’s such a massively subjective space. If I’m going to want to play with you, chemistry is important. Have I had chemistry with everyone I’ve played with? Yeah, at least for a time. It’s hard to want to get sexy with someone I don’t feel that with.

Have you had chemistry with someone you didn't even like that much?

Yes. Such a weird thing to want to get busy with someone you don’t even like. I’ve evolved since then. Lol

What do you think is the best way to spark chemistry with another person?

Im just me. I hope they are just them. It’s either there or it isn’t.

On a side note: I can know someone a long time without chemistry and then all the sudden there is. I don’t know why. I don’t worry too much about it though. I like a slow burn.

 

[Mei5ter]

03/22/23

It's time for class. I want to talk about chemistry.

Even I were nitrogen dioxide, I couldn't say NO2 that.

I think chemistry between people is a little hard to define, but I think most of us know if when we feel it. Do you find that to be true?

I think chemistry is just your subconscious picking up signals your conscious brain is missing.

Do you think chemistry is immediate or can it grow and be cultivated?

It can go either way. Sometimes you need to get to know someone well before finding the spark catches flame. And others, the more you know them, the less of a connection you find you have.

Have you ever had someone that you really liked but you didn't feel like the chemistry was immediately there?

Yes. But the secret to chemistry? It's about bonding. And you can't bond unless you have spare bits to bond with someone else's spare bits. In other words, chemistry is where your flaws and quirks meet someone else's flaws and quirks, and suddenly you realise those flaws fit to make something perfect.

Is chemistry even that important to you?

I failed it at school, ionically enough. But in people? Yes.

Have you had chemistry with someone you didn't even like that much?

I have had chemistry with people who went on to disappoint me.

What do you think is the best way to spark chemistry with another person?

To be your true, flawed self.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

03/22/23

It's time for class. I want to talk about chemistry.

I think chemistry between people is a little hard to define, but I think most of us know if when we feel it. Do you find that to be true? Do you think chemistry is immediate or can it grow and be cultivated? Have you ever had someone that you really liked but you didn't feel like the chemistry was immediately there? Is chemistry even that important to you? Have you had chemistry with someone you didn't even like that much? What do you think is the best way to spark chemistry with another person?

Chemistry - honestly too much memorization. Marine biology was always my A+ class.

I do think I know chemistry when I feel it. I do think it can be a bit harder online to read it correctly though. Tone is so difficult to convey through text when you don't know someone well enough. But I have felt undeniable chemistry before and it's let to amazing things. I've also felt an immediate spark of chemistry that faded very quickly so I don't think immediate chemistry is necessarily lasting chemistry. I have also had friendships suddenly blossom with unexpected chemistry which always like putting your glasses on and seeing someone clearly.

I think the most common thing though is really liking someone, finding then desirable and sexy but together it just... isn't quite there? It feels difficult or fumbly and unnatural. Another experience that I've had both side of it one person "feeling" chemistry but no the other, which is generally one person wanting it to be there and the other already realizing it ain't happening.

Oh, the chemistry with the person you don't even like is so real. It's usually someone you know is bad for you or a human equivalent of a bad decision but the vibes are just right. This the most dangerous scenario. This is how you pick up a guy who's main job is just hanging out a 7/11 and eating pussy like a superhero. Yeah the orgasms are good but you'll probably always have to lend him money for meth.

Sparking - this is interesting bc I think that folks can spark it especially if they've friend-zoned someone without really exploring them in their minds as a sexual person. I've had experiences where someone just seems to mild mannered and finally a sexy topic gets raised and it's like... wowza. And to be fair, in my more slutty days, I've done all kinds of things with people I felt minimal chemistry with. It's just infinitely better and more when it's present.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

03.25.23

No

https://64.media.tumblr.com/3d84d7d71870579e1e1c0f10982dec82/879c91a046f79471-7d/s540x810/1248c8d5677c85462f8ded3b8e0b224e3d7468aa.jpg

This has something that's been on my mind for quite awhile.
Are you able to take no? More than that, are you someone who invites no? Do you feel defensive or rejected by someone telling you no or are you happy to receive honest clarity? Do you appreciate when someone makes it easy for you to tell them no? When you recieve a no, do you accept it and move on or try to persuade, convince or clarify?

For the sake of this conversation the no can be anything from sexy stuff to coming over for dinner. You define the situation as you like.

 

[Deleted member 6592667]

03.25.23

No

https://64.media.tumblr.com/3d84d7d71870579e1e1c0f10982dec82/879c91a046f79471-7d/s540x810/1248c8d5677c85462f8ded3b8e0b224e3d7468aa.jpg

This has something that's been on my mind for quite awhile.
Are you able to take no? More than that, are you someone who invites no? Do you feel defensive or rejected by someone telling you no or are you happy to receive honest clarity? Do you appreciate when someone makes it easy for you to tell them no? When you recieve a no, do you accept it and move on or try to persuade, convince or clarify?

For the sake of this conversation the no can be anything from sexy stuff to coming over for dinner. You define the situation as you like.

Nah, totally doesn't bother me. I respond well to honesty in general. In the realm of sex what's worse: being told "Nah, not feeling it" or having your partner begrudgingly go along with it when they don't want to? I'll happily take the "no" in that case.

Vibes and feelings are a big thing. Sometimes that requires saying "nooooooope."

 

[Whiskeyjack]

03.25.23

No

https://64.media.tumblr.com/3d84d7d71870579e1e1c0f10982dec82/879c91a046f79471-7d/s540x810/1248c8d5677c85462f8ded3b8e0b224e3d7468aa.jpg

This has something that's been on my mind for quite awhile.
Are you able to take no? More than that, are you someone who invites no? Do you feel defensive or rejected by someone telling you no or are you happy to receive honest clarity? Do you appreciate when someone makes it easy for you to tell them no? When you recieve a no, do you accept it and move on or try to persuade, convince or clarify?

For the sake of this conversation the no can be anything from sexy stuff to coming over for dinner. You define the situation as you like.

I'm someone who needs their space, and try to respect others when they need theirs. If there are lots and lots of successive No's, then I might start to wonder what's going on. But No's don't generally bring me down as long as there's still the occasional Yes.

 

[Girly_girl]

But No's don't generally bring me down as long as there's still the occasional Yes.

Same here, would much rather someone tell me no instead of feeling obligated to say yes.

 

[Dribble]

Depends. I have no problem with no. I have a big problem with no if it is based on lies...because it isn't about yes or no then...but on the manipulation of trust...which is everything

 

[Paul_Chance]

I have no problem with people saying "No" in any of the spheres of my life. I prefer honesty. In relationships it holds true as well. I'd rather get an honest no, then a yes followed by behaviors that say the true answer should have been a no. Sexually speaking, in all honesty, I can't recall the last time someone said no. I'm good at reading people, so if I can tell a person is not into some sexy time, I honor that and don't ask or press for it.

*Here is the caveat to all this - I am also a person who has no hesitation or fears about doing things on my own. If I ask someone to come with me on a date, for some sort of event or occasion and they say "No" - I'm most likely to just go with someone else or go by myself. LOL - the same holds true for sex. I'm happy to grab the stick and go for a solo flight if you're not interested.

 

[AlexBailey]

03.25.23

No

https://64.media.tumblr.com/3d84d7d71870579e1e1c0f10982dec82/879c91a046f79471-7d/s540x810/1248c8d5677c85462f8ded3b8e0b224e3d7468aa.jpg

This has something that's been on my mind for quite awhile.
Are you able to take no? More than that, are you someone who invites no? Do you feel defensive or rejected by someone telling you no or are you happy to receive honest clarity? Do you appreciate when someone makes it easy for you to tell them no? When you recieve a no, do you accept it and move on or try to persuade, convince or clarify?

For the sake of this conversation the no can be anything from sexy stuff to coming over for dinner. You define the situation as you like.

Regarding saying no during sex,

My second sex partner and I were both each other’s seconds so we did a lot of experimenting with each other. I don’t remember where or how we came across the idea, but we used the green-light / yellow light / red light system.

Having the only established communication being ‘go’ or ‘no’ can be a mistake because you may be enjoying each other but if something isn’t quite right saying ‘no’ can break the mood. Being able to say ‘yellow light’ can keep the mood while you check in with each other.

I consider it absolutely essential during kink or BDSM play.

 

[MedicalMuse]

03.25.23

No

https://64.media.tumblr.com/3d84d7d71870579e1e1c0f10982dec82/879c91a046f79471-7d/s540x810/1248c8d5677c85462f8ded3b8e0b224e3d7468aa.jpg

This has something that's been on my mind for quite awhile.
Are you able to take no?

Yep. Consent is big in my world.

More than that, are you someone who invites no?

Yep. Like I said, consent. I'm pretty up front about the "no harm, no foul" rule. If it's not there, it's not there. It's cool.

Do you feel defensive or rejected by someone telling you no or are you happy to receive honest clarity?

I don't get my feelings hurt. I also don't feel like rejection is bad. I've been turned down before (shocker, right?) and while it made me sad that we had gotten to that place, I was okay with it. There's just something not going right, and it's not usually actually about me. So a no is just that, a no.

Do you appreciate when someone makes it easy for you to tell them no?

Yes! Don't try to guilt trip. That just makes it hard to want to talk to someone anymore at all.

When you recieve a no, do you accept it and move on or try to persuade, convince or clarify?

So this is two fold. I'm an over thinker, so I will want to understand, but sometimes I don't get to. Sometimes, when reading the situation, it's better to just move along.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

03.25.23

No

https://64.media.tumblr.com/3d84d7d71870579e1e1c0f10982dec82/879c91a046f79471-7d/s540x810/1248c8d5677c85462f8ded3b8e0b224e3d7468aa.jpg

This has something that's been on my mind for quite awhile.
Are you able to take no? More than that, are you someone who invites no? Do you feel defensive or rejected by someone telling you no or are you happy to receive honest clarity? Do you appreciate when someone makes it easy for you to tell them no? When you receive a no, do you accept it and move on or try to persuade, convince or clarify?

For the sake of this conversation the no can be anything from sexy stuff to coming over for dinner. You define the situation as you like.

Obviously no means no... But I am a person who "invited a no". I'd rather have an eager yes! than a awkward, stumbling back away. So often, I say "Hey do you mind if ______. If not, that's totally fine!" or "Please feel free to say no but can we __________". And that get's me lots of resounding NOs but it also lets me know when someone says yes, that they had an off ramp and chose not to take it. And when I receive the NO it feels less like rejection and more like a gift given and taken.
I love when people do the same for me. But like @MedicalMuse said, I struggle with wanting to make sure I clarify something or check to make sure they understood before saying no but you don't always get a chance and that's ok.

 

[lakesailer_mi]

Are you able to take no?

You know this is an interesting question. I will say that at some level, yes. I've certainly accepted "no" in a number of situations: real life romance, Lit, work, etc.
But I also know that sometimes I had a difficult time with no. I can think of two or three cases over my life in particular.
One example was a job I really wanted and didn't get. I still hold a grudge (some 30 years later). It reared it's ugly head again, and I gloated over their failure!
But I think of some other times here where "no" to sexy stuff turned into a very very great friendship.

03.25.23
Do you feel defensive or rejected by someone telling you no or are you happy to receive honest clarity?

There's really two parts to this. Yes, I've often felt rejected and even defensive with a no. (e.g. job above, also some romance stuff both in real life and at Lit).
And I think that's pretty human. I will say this, as a young man I had a couple of relationships where the woman had her "limits" sexually (e.g. she was saving it...etc).
I was more than happy to just be with them, enjoy their company, and let it develop. I think when I really care about someone, while I might...suggest...more, I'm willing to wait.

The other problem though is that I see a lot of "no" often comes without honest clarity. And often without fair clarity. Sometimes there's things going on that people don't tell you.
I think with honest clarity, I'm fine with no. (Man I'm thinking of some example professionally too...damn). But without that, I - and I think fairly - have a difficult time.

Do you appreciate when someone makes it easy for you to tell them no?

Oh yeah. For sure. And I might bad at that myself. I don't know.

When you receive a no, do you accept it and move on or try to persuade, convince or clarify?

Again, this depends. I certainly have at times gone ahead and tried to change someones mind. And that applies in many situations. Especially as I've gotten older, I've learned the "pick your battles" stuff.
Sometimes too you have to ask: is this really worth it.
I think back to a case as a youth where I got "dumped" (a form of no). I did try to change her mind. I think, I might have continued trying for a while if the opportunity had arisen. Retrospectively, it was an experience that I needed, and "getting her back" would not really have been good for me (or her) in the long run (she is, btw, now a friend of mine, although we are not "particularly" close, she's a super lady and I admire her).
I think the "pick your battles" thing is important.

More than that, are you someone who invites no?

I've never thought about this before. I have no idea? I will say this, I think I don't always invite "yes"?
I know that people have told me they are "intimidated" by me (both here and in many contexts in real life).
But that makes me "unapproachable" I'm told. Not "no."

One last thought. I think I do accept no in a lot of places. The more I'm thinking about this, especially as I've gotten older, I try not to pressure people into things and I hope I'm OK at accepting that.
I'm sure I'm not perfect.
And there are times when "no" hurts....really bad. And I'm not good at that all the time (yeah, even I'm human).
I think really it's important to think carefully on how you say "no." And I'm not always good about this. The question about "honest clarity" is really important. Maybe that's a place where I could improve, and a place I'm not alone in needing to improve. I think I - and others - don't like having to say "no" sometimes. (I have tendency to professionally to be a little boy who can't say no...part of it is FOMO). So we either say yes, when we need to say no. Or we avoid the confrontation and do things like "ghost" someone or whatever.

I think really, that's my take away here: honest clarity in a no.