❓ PLP Inquires II ❓

[Orchidea73]

Are you able to take no?

Yes.

More than that, are you someone who invites no?

Not particularly, no. I mean, if I want a yes why should I "invite" the no?
But if the question is, if people find it easy to tell me no, I think that depends from the people, the context and the relationship you have with them.

Do you feel defensive or rejected by someone telling you no or are you happy to receive honest clarity?

Depends. But, ultimately, I do love clarity so I'd rather take the no, whether I like it or not.

Do you appreciate when someone makes it easy for you to tell them no?

Hummm, again, it depends from the situation. Sometimes I appreciate it and sometimes it might feel like cowardice, on my part.

When you recieve a no, do you accept it and move on or try to persuade, convince or clarify?

All of the above, depending on the situation and reasons.

 

[Bry1313]

03.25.23

No

https://64.media.tumblr.com/3d84d7d71870579e1e1c0f10982dec82/879c91a046f79471-7d/s540x810/1248c8d5677c85462f8ded3b8e0b224e3d7468aa.jpg

This has something that's been on my mind for quite awhile.
Are you able to take no? More than that, are you someone who invites no? Do you feel defensive or rejected by someone telling you no or are you happy to receive honest clarity? Do you appreciate when someone makes it easy for you to tell them no? When you recieve a no, do you accept it and move on or try to persuade, convince or clarify?

For the sake of this conversation the no can be anything from sexy stuff to coming over for dinner. You define the situation as you like.

1) I can absolutely take No, it’s actually kind of creepy when people freak out about hearing no

2) I’d like to think people are comfortable telling me No when im making any kind of inquiry. Comfort in others is important to me, and when I sense discomfort in others I get uncomfortable and then, yuck.

3) i may ask for clarification depending on context. Sometimes asking why is weird but as someone who tries to understand the world better I like to know why people feel the way they do.

This comes from the context of someone who when he was younger answered No on behalf of people before I bothered to ask the question, so advocating for myself and my wants become an adult thing but since I’d preanswered no for others already, hearing no isn’t a shock to my system, on the other hand, nothing feels better than a sincere yes, whether just going for a drink or other more erotic asks.

 

[Orchidea73]

3) i may ask for clarification depending on context. Sometimes asking why is weird but as someone who tries to understand the world better I like to know why people feel the way they do.

100% This!
Maybe I’m too curious but I’m always more interested in motivation and reason. I might not agree with them but I want to understand, or at least try.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

03.29.23

Social Battery

There's a spectrum between introverted and extroverted. Where do you normally fall and how does it vary for you? What types of things drain your social battery and what types of things charge your social battery? Are you ever aware that you are charging or draining someone else's social battery?

 

[lakesailer_mi]

03.29.23

Social Battery

There's a spectrum between introverted and extroverted. Where do you normally fall and how does it vary for you? What types of things drain your social battery and what types of things charge your social battery? Are you ever aware that you are charging or draining someone else's social battery?

I'm pretty much a classic extrovert. I'm generally quite gregarious and easily meet new people. I like being in groups and such. I'm more the type to flit from conversation to conversation at parties, cocktail hours etc, but I can sit and have a long discussion (one on one) with almost anyone.
There are times when I've gotten...intimidated is the best word...by the people and hang back.
In general groups and stuff charge my battery (although there's a always a limit). While I'm comfortable being alone, and really don't have a problem with it, I do prefer social situations.
Not sure what "drains" it.

I didn't used to be aware of "draining" others, but a good friend of my (more an introvert) once called me a "social vampire." LOL...she was kind about it, but was making the point that I need to be more careful with that. As I've gotten older, I've tried to be more careful with that. Recognizing people as being introverts and needing that space. I'm not perfect by any stretch, but I try.

 

[Paul_Chance]

03.29.23

Social Battery

There's a spectrum between introverted and extroverted. Where do you normally fall and how does it vary for you? What types of things drain your social battery and what types of things charge your social battery? Are you ever aware that you are charging or draining someone else's social battery?

I'm very extroverted, high on the extroversion scale. Nothing really drains my battery in terms of social interactions. (Normal physical and health things can impact my battery, but even then, I'm still high on extroversion.)

I can routinely enter a room and change the energy of the room, in person, charging peoples battery, drawing social activities and participation out of them. As an extrovert, I can be tough for an introvert to handle - but - and this is just mine opinion, so don't poke me in the eye with a stick - most of the times I clash with people, it's not because of their introversion, but because of their locus of control. I find I clash with the passive-aggressive introverts, where they are using their introversion to try and control the circumstances or events.

 

[MedicalMuse]

03.29.23

Social Battery

There's a spectrum between introverted and extroverted. Where do you normally fall and how does it vary for you? What types of things drain your social battery and what types of things charge your social battery? Are you ever aware that you are charging or draining someone else's social battery?

I am an extroverted introvert. I like social situations, to a point. In public I can be in large groups and enjoy them. I am a room circulator, never staying in one spot too long. I don't hold court, so to speak. I wander and chat. Share laughs. Play a round of whatever game is going on. Clear a counter, gather drink orders and such. I make a point to spend extra time with people i genuinely like.
That being said, I don't mind being alone. Sometimes I need my own space to focus. Probably a trait gathered from working nights. I like my own company as much as i like other people.
My battery is charged by each situation differently. I'm generally an observer, which charges me up. The right social interaction also charges me up. Alone time does too.

I have met a few people who are draining to be around. The longer a party goes, the more gregarious they get. I've learned to sit back and conserve my energy and witness their glory. Extroverts are fun to watch.

 

[Dribble]

Maybe I am missing the questions here? It isn't my job to charge...or have the ability to discharge someone else's social battery.

Today, I don't view myself as either an extrovert or introvert. Those are perceptions of others.

There is a room filled with 20 people. No one knows anyone else. I enter the room and mingle with each acting differently for each ranging from normal to bizzare. Finally, I do something totally unexpected. We immediately separate those 20 people and ask them what just happened. You end up with 20 different stories, each biased by the prior experience with me. Now comes the fun part...

To each person...their perception is their reality. Is any one person's reality less real than any one else's? Yet...I could have been totally fake for each. Perceptions are not real. But they create the foundation for our reality.

I suspect...that if people feel charged by the interaction...there is some sort of "chemistry". Even if everything was faked. But I could be wrong there

 

[MedicalMuse]

Maybe I am missing the questions here? It isn't my job to charge...or have the ability to discharge someone else's social battery.

Today, I don't view myself as either an extrovert or introvert. Those are perceptions of others.

There is a room filled with 20 people. No one knows anyone else. I enter the room and mingle with each acting differently for each ranging from normal to bizzare. Finally, I do something totally unexpected. We immediately separate those 20 people and ask them what just happened. You end up with 20 different stories, each biased by the prior experience with me. Now comes the fun part...

To each person...their perception is their reality. Is any one person's reality less real than any one else's? Yet...I could have been totally fake for each. Perceptions are not real. But they create the foundation for our reality.

I suspect...that if people feel charged by the interaction...there is some sort of "chemistry". Even if everything was faked. But I could be wrong there

Interesting take.

 

[Dribble]

Interesting take.

I like PLPs questions. My answers constantly change. I think I know the answer for myself today...and tomorrow it could be totally different.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

03.29.23

Social Battery

There's a spectrum between introverted and extroverted. Where do you normally fall and how does it vary for you? What types of things drain your social battery and what types of things charge your social battery? Are you ever aware that you are charging or draining someone else's social battery?

Well there are definitely a spectrum of answers so far. Some I can wholeheartedly relate to and some that just make me raise an eyebrow.


I’ve always been more of an extrovert but now I think I’m an introverted extrovert. I crave social interaction and engagement but I also require a fair amount of solitude and peace. Some social interaction leaves me feeling over stimulated and jittery and some leaves me smiling and smelling the flowers. It depends on the place and the person.


Things that drain my social battery and make me want to spend hours alone afterwards -

• People who always find the negative in everything. I don’t mean when someone needs an occasional vent or has something serious going on but those who, when you ask how they are, want to tell you about their toe fungus or something. I’m not a doctor of a therapist and those interactions cost battery life.
• Arrogant people. Pretentious people. Mean people. One uppers. Enjoy being amazing. I will be over here charging my social battery while I eat a hot pocket.
• Attention vampires. I don’t mean attention whores because I do love to feed those people occasionally but people who are needy to the point of being unable to go one without someone constantly propping them up with compliments. (This may be my mommy issues showing)

Things that recharge me and make me feel like dancing down the hallways -

• Lists. Obvs.
• Curious people, people who take initiative, enthusiastic people. I love people who prompt and encourage and make you feel excited and apart of things. Those people who are the life of the party and the organizers and the ones who just make you want to do things.
• Tacos
• Thoughtfulness. When someone puts thought into something, does something you ask with thought, or reaches out to say they are thinking of you.
• There’s a certain type of sex that also does this for me. It’s the kind that takes a long time to work up and anticipate but when it happens all you can do it stare at the ceiling and see the battery hit 100%.

I am very over sensitive to being a drain on someone. I go out of my way to make things easy for other people, sometimes at the cost of myself. But I try to make sure the people who charge me up know how fucking wonderful they are too.

 

[Mei5ter]

03.29.23

Social Battery

There's a spectrum between introverted and extroverted. Where do you normally fall and how does it vary for you? What types of things drain your social battery and what types of things charge your social battery? Are you ever aware that you are charging or draining someone else's social battery?

This is an excellent question.

 

[Paul_Chance]

Oooooohhhh lists!

People That Drain The Battery:

• People who are incessantly negative.
• People who are incessantly contradictory.
• People who are passive-aggressive.
• People who are controlling.
• People who are manipulative.

People That Charge The Battery

• People who happy.
• People who are honest and authentic.
• People who are open listeners.
• People who are empathetic.
• People who are compassionate.
• People who take the moment for tiny kindnesses.
• People who are intelligent and articulate.

 

[MedicalMuse]

Oooooohhhh lists!

People That Drain The Battery:

• People who are incessantly negative.
• People who are incessantly contradictory.
• People who are passive-aggressive.
• People who are controlling.
• People who are manipulative.

People That Charge The Battery

• People who happy.
• People who are honest and authentic.
• People who are open listeners.
• People who are empathetic.
• People who are compassionate.
• People who take the moment for tiny kindnesses.
• People who are intelligent and articulate.

These are excellent lists

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

04.01.23

Non Negotiables (Inspired by a conversation with someone)

What are your sexual non-negotiables? What are the things you've learned are your Must Haves? Are the items on your list because you have them and can't imagine being happy without it ever again or because you've gone without it and won't do it again?

 

[Deleted member 6592667]

04.01.23

Non Negotiables (Inspired by a conversation with someone)

What are your sexual non-negotiables? What are the things you've learned are your Must Haves? Are the items on your list because you have them and can't imagine being happy without it ever again or because you've gone without it and won't do it again?

I think most of what I want comes from experience (both good and bad) and learning what I like in the broader sense, and over time knowing that certain things I just have to have.

What's that? "Make a list?" You got it.

Must haves:

Doggystyle- I love pretty much every position but imaging life without that sweet ass bouncing against me is soul crushing.

Oral- I love giving and recieving. Everybody has their preferences but have you ever met someone that wasn't into oral? They're a fucking drag. Quick accecdote: No fucking joke, I met someone once who told me at length about how she hates giving oral. She said "It's the worst thing ever and it's so unnatural." I say "Okay, so what DO you like?" She says "I love fucking fruit. Bananas are my favorite." I mean fruit IS natural. Takes all kinds I guess.

Positive energy- Our vibes have to match. You can't bring negativity into the equation. If you're also bi then we're gonna vibe nicely. Does it feel good just hanging and talking? That's vibing.

Assertiveness- Someone that knows what they want is a sizable turn on. My dick responds well to orders. If I hear "I need to fuck you" my cock reports for duty.

Spanking- Must be able to take at least a light hand clap. I love ass. So much so I gotta smack it. Ass is the only thing I love that I will beat up. Go figure.

 

[Paul_Chance]

04.01.23

Non Negotiables (Inspired by a conversation with someone)

What are your sexual non-negotiables? What are the things you've learned are your Must Haves? Are the items on your list because you have them and can't imagine being happy without it ever again or because you've gone without it and won't do it again?

Setting the Environment:

• Relax, breathe, be comfortable in the moment
• Make time to have uninterrupted sex (we can get to frantic sneaking quickies later)
• Be present

Non-Negotiables/Must Have

• Be sober (again, there will be time for drunken sex later. The first time, the first few times, be sober.)
• Be open to positions and acts so we can go with the flow
• If you have any no goes, tell me before we start, so I don't accidentally cross the line somewhere
• Talk to me (communicate), if something is working, say so, if something is not working, say so.

Final Note - I'm sixty-two. I've been around the block - a lot. At this point in my life I expect a mature, experienced partner who is present and engaged, who communicates well, and who isn't playing games (in the not good way).

 

[LaisDeMarieDeFrance]

Just got back from the grocery store satisfied because everything got checked off my list... now drained from all the people. lol

I refuse to go to huge events (concerts, conventions, etc) anymore because I end up wanting to hide in a room by myself. Smaller groups of people are my thing, where you can have real conversations. Just don't do any ice breaker questions. They make me want to shank.

 

[Paul_Chance]

Just got back from the grocery store satisfied because everything got checked off my list... now drained from all the people. lol

I refuse to go to huge events (concerts, conventions, etc) anymore because I end up wanting to hide in a room by myself. Smaller groups of people are my thing, where you can have real conversations. Just don't do any ice breaker questions. They make me want to shank.

I had a great ice-breaker I would use at corporate events. It went something like this:

"Okay folks, let's get started with an icebreaker...there is a piece of paper and marker on the table in front of you. Find them, go ahead and take a minute. Now, take the piece of paper. Lift it up. Crumble it and throw it over your shoulder. Now, pick the marker up and on the count of three you're going to SHOUT: NO! ICEBREAKERS SUCK! and throw the marker at that corner over there."

It was well received.

 

[LaisDeMarieDeFrance]

I had a great ice-breaker I would use at corporate events. It went something like this:

"Okay folks, let's get started with an icebreaker...there is a piece of paper and marker on the table in front of you. Find them, go ahead and take a minute. Now, take the piece of paper. Lift it up. Crumble it and throw it over your shoulder. Now, pick the marker up and on the count of three you're going to SHOUT: NO! ICEBREAKERS SUCK! and throw the marker at that corner over there."

It was well received.

You're the best!!!

 

[Orchidea73]

Must haves:

Doggystyle- I love pretty much every position but imaging life without that sweet ass bouncing against me is soul crushing.

I feel you there. lol

Oral- I love giving and recieving. Everybody has their preferences but have you ever met someone that wasn't into oral? They're a fucking drag. Quick accecdote: No fucking joke, I met someone once who told me at length about how she hates giving oral. She said "It's the worst thing ever and it's so unnatural." I say "Okay, so what DO you like?" She says "I love fucking fruit. Bananas are my favorite." I mean fruit IS natural. Takes all kinds I guess.

I'm confused. She liked to fuck a banana? How? Or she meant that she just like to eat the banana, which is nothing unusual. I think I'm missing something here. lol

Positive energy- Our vibes have to match. You can't bring negativity into the equation. If you're also bi then we're gonna vibe nicely. Does it feel good just hanging and talking? That's vibing.

Assertiveness- Someone that knows what they want is a sizable turn on. My dick responds well to orders. If I hear "I need to fuck you" my cock reports for duty.

Agreed.

Spanking- Must be able to take at least a light hand clap. I love ass. So much so I gotta smack it. Ass is the only thing I love that I will beat up. Go figure.

 

[Apisto42]

I think most of what I want comes from experience (both good and bad) and learning what I like in the broader sense, and over time knowing that certain things I just have to have.

What's that? "Make a list?" You got it.

Must haves:

Doggystyle- I love pretty much every position but imaging life without that sweet ass bouncing against me is soul crushing.

Oral- I love giving and recieving. Everybody has their preferences but have you ever met someone that wasn't into oral? They're a fucking drag. Quick accecdote: No fucking joke, I met someone once who told me at length about how she hates giving oral. She said "It's the worst thing ever and it's so unnatural." I say "Okay, so what DO you like?" She says "I love fucking fruit. Bananas are my favorite." I mean fruit IS natural. Takes all kinds I guess.

Positive energy- Our vibes have to match. You can't bring negativity into the equation. If you're also bi then we're gonna vibe nicely. Does it feel good just hanging and talking? That's vibing.

Assertiveness- Someone that knows what they want is a sizable turn on. My dick responds well to orders. If I hear "I need to fuck you" my cock reports for duty.

Spanking- Must be able to take at least a light hand clap. I love ass. So much so I gotta smack it. Ass is the only thing I love that I will beat up. Go figure.

What he said. We’re probably related.

 

[Deleted member 6592667]

What he said. We’re probably related.

In the very least we're variants.

 

[Deleted member 6592667]

I feel you there. lol

I'm confused. She liked to fuck a banana? How? Or she meant that she just like to eat the banana, which is nothing unusual. I think I'm missing something here. lol

Agreed.

Oh yeah, she liked to fuck a banana. But wasn't into giving oral. I mean I kinda get it. Bananas are delicious. Lol

 

[Orchidea73]

Oh yeah, she liked to fuck a banana. But wasn't into giving oral. I mean I kinda get it. Bananas are delicious. Lol

Idk, I never liked them. Especially their texture. Bleh...lol