A monster in the making.

[HisArpy]

Enroll the little bastard into a reputable martial arts school that does a heavy dose of philosophy.

Often times, parents become so much marshmallows. A martial arts school will teach them self control, dignity, reveal their character, respect, honor, and so much more. The school will be tough where the parent will not.

This would be a VERY bad idea.

Military school might be someplace to send him other than back to dad, but giving the kid skills to physically abuse people on top of his emerging emotional/mental abuse skills is fucking idiotic.

 

[Mrtenant]

This would be a VERY bad idea.

Military school might be someplace to send him other than back to dad, but giving the kid skills to physically abuse people on top of his emerging emotional/mental abuse skills is fucking idiotic.

No, not necessarily. My young adult children teach at one. They learn. I have seen martial arts schools turn out some fine adults for the last 20 years.

Your opinion though.

I used to be threatened with military school as a child. I never went. Those places can backfire too. Extreme poverty taught me to be a better person. I fought my way out of it. But then I wasn't the person described in this thread either.

 

[Sean]

This would be a VERY bad idea.

Military school might be someplace to send him other than back to dad, but giving the kid skills to physically abuse people on top of his emerging emotional/mental abuse skills is fucking idiotic.

Good luck finding a military school in the UK, Tim. We don't fetishise the military the way the US does.

 

[HisArpy]

Good luck finding a military school in the UK, Tim. We don't fetishise the military the way the US does.

It's not my fault you're a fucking moron.

 

[Rightguide]

Good luck finding a military school in the UK, Tim. We don't fetishise the military the way the US does.

Of course not:

Addiscombe Military Seminary
Army Apprentices College
Britannia Royal Naval College
Commando Training Centre Royal Marines
Defence Academy of the United Kingdom
Defence School of Communications and Information Systems
Defence School of Electro-Mechanical Engineering
Defence Technical Undergraduate Scheme
Mons Officer Cadet School
Royal Air Force College Cranwell
Royal Hospital School
Royal Military College, Sandhurst
Royal Military College, High Wycombe
Royal Military Academy Sandhurst
Welbeck Defence Sixth Form College

 

[Sean]

Of course not:

Addiscombe Military Seminary
Army Apprentices College
Britannia Royal Naval College
Commando Training Centre Royal Marines
Defence Academy of the United Kingdom
Defence School of Communications and Information Systems
Defence School of Electro-Mechanical Engineering
Defence Technical Undergraduate Scheme
Mons Officer Cadet School
Royal Air Force College Cranwell
Royal Hospital School
Royal Military College, Sandhurst
Royal Military College, High Wycombe
Royal Military Academy Sandhurst
Welbeck Defence Sixth Form College

Quoting for hilarity value.

 

[LupusDei]

The boy, despite barely being in his teens, is making (not unsuccessful) attempts to take control of the house. To the point where he believes he has the right to decide which car she should buy, how much of her wages she is allowed to spend on herself, and how the maintenance from his father is spent (it should be put into his personal account for when he wants to buy a car). His latest demand is that they move house to his preferred neighborhood.

Now, that's the most precious detail. To me, it communicates a serious disconnect there, not only it is obviously absurd, it has a prerequisite, and the boy has no business of knowing a thing about her mother's income or savings, not to mention anything to do with managing her finances.

Either the woman craves control so much she's ready to take it from anyone, and her current man of the house being her own underage son is just an accidental kinky detail...

Or more realistically, she's just one of those perpetually indecisive women who's unable to take any action without vocalizing every possible option to someone, anyone -- and then often taking offense when advice is offered, because that wasn't her goal of communication. But a man, much any man or even a boy, when a woman present a dilemma, he's automatically take it as problem to be solved, and will offer opinion. To deal with such a woman takes enormous amounts of restraint a teenage boy can't have. And being a teenager he of course would state his opinion in the most categorical way possible, and then call her stupid when his advice is ignored and leave doors banging. Normal adults just roll eyes and do what should be done, not this girl, apparently.

It's one thing to ask kids "input" on important decisions impacting them just a way to have opportunity to lay the groundwork of the case and not blindside them, but it should be clear who makes the decisions.

Now, she's obviously unable to take responsibility and he seems eager to have it, so let's find something real and useful for him to be responsible for. That may take some creativity and better know of him and their situation, but maybe even as simple as a pet, or some serious hobby or long running school project. Or sports, and yes I too would endorse the idea of getting him into martial arts or similar system of externalized discipline. Even church... as much as I hate them, religion have a function and this is a case it may prove to be mildly useful if applied with necessary care.

 

[LupusDei]

This would be a VERY bad idea.

Military school might be someplace to send him other than back to dad, but giving the kid skills to physically abuse people on top of his emerging emotional/mental abuse skills is fucking idiotic.

That's a common misconception about "martial arts." Although honestly, I have seen it both ways, both petty thugs claiming to be "martial artists" with half season training in local boxing club, and people picking up principles of buddhism on a serious level and completely revamp their lives few years in with a worthy sensei.

Here's the talk about the second path as an opportunity. The risk of the first exist, but would be rather be failure of expectations. A lot depends on local environment though.

 

[BoyNextDoor]

Whoever spares the rod hates their children,
but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.
- Proverbs

 

[HisArpy]

That's a common misconception about "martial arts." Although honestly, I have seen it both ways, both petty thugs claiming to be "martial artists" with half season training in local boxing club, and people picking up principles of buddhism on a serious level and completely revamp their lives few years in with a worthy sensei.

Here's the talk about the second path as an opportunity. The risk of the first exist, but would be rather be failure of expectations. A lot depends on local environment though.

One must be willing to walk the path of enlightenment rather than be dragged along it. Further, giving an angry and intransigent student the tools to harm others is NOT teaching. It is complicity.



Interestingly enough, martial arts used to be taught beginning with what we today call Tai Chi, It was only years later that students began to learn the combat techniques of martial arts. And only if they showed a mastery and understanding of the internal discipline.

Modern martial arts focus more on combat and teach it with rote exercises and drills.

 

[surdeep]

Whoever spares the rod hates their children,
but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.
- Proverbs

Amen and praise Vishnu.

 

[doowdniw]

One must be willing to walk the path of enlightenment rather than be dragged along it. Further, giving an angry and intransigent student the tools to harm others is NOT teaching. It is complicity.



Interestingly enough, martial arts used to be taught beginning with what we today call Tai Chi, It was only years later that students began to learn the combat techniques of martial arts. And only if they showed a mastery and understanding of the internal discipline.

Modern martial arts focus more on combat and teach it with rote exercises and drills.

There's nothing like a good randori.

 

[Debbie]

Or more realistically, she's just one of those perpetually indecisive women who's unable to take any action without vocalizing every possible option to someone, anyone -- and then often taking offense when advice is offered, because that wasn't her goal of communication. But a man, much any man or even a boy, when a woman present a dilemma, he's automatically take it as problem to be solved, and will offer opinion. To deal with such a woman takes enormous amounts of restraint a teenage boy can't have. And being a teenager he of course would state his opinion in the most categorical way possible, and then call her stupid when his advice is ignored and leave doors banging. Normal adults just roll eyes and do what should be done, not this girl, apparently.

After a few years of being in the abusive relationship I was in where almost everything I did, said, wore, went, who I saw was monitored and I didnt have access to money directly (it went into a joint account but he wouldnt allow me to access it without getting a 20 questions, provide a receipt or go get it himself)

My point is she may not be completely indecisive but conditioned to think a certain way.

I remember my first trip to the supermarket to get some bits and pieces and I stood for 5 mins by the baked beans. I had automatically reached for the brand my ex liked and remembered I didnt have to do that anymore and got the brand the kids and I liked.

It took time but I eventually got myself back and changed my mindset and to no longer fear being controlled or abused.

 

[Mrtenant]

One must be willing to walk the path of enlightenment rather than be dragged along it. Further, giving an angry and intransigent student the tools to harm others is NOT teaching. It is complicity.



Interestingly enough, martial arts used to be taught beginning with what we today call Tai Chi, It was only years later that students began to learn the combat techniques of martial arts. And only if they showed a mastery and understanding of the internal discipline.

Modern martial arts focus more on combat and teach it with rote exercises and drills.

Your generalizations do you no credit. Keep it coming though. I'm enjoying the spectacle.

 

[girlsmiley]

she's probably been pandering to the boy his entire life. That isn't going to change overnight

I doubt it'll change at all.

He's manipulative. Probably too late at his age.

 

[Saint Peter]

Chop his balls off.



Those things are trouble.

Big trouble.

 

[Saint Peter]

cunt@work.com

 

[SpeareChucker]

I got into the martial arts to hurt people, serious, but the discipline
required prevents this from happening; thugs lack real discipline
and tend to seek their victims by recognizing weakness.




It can be abused and taught badly, that's for sure,
but in the long term it leads to better people.

 

[kissedcherry]

Give him a gold star and a pat on the head

Give him a gold star and a pat on the head. Praise him and flood his life with comments about how amazing he is. Give him lots of soy milk. Let him have his own way and agree with him when he complains about people that do not praise him. Teach him to get as many government hand-outs as he can. Send him to college so that professors can fluff his ego even more and teach him the wonders of socialism.

Make sure that he has a free phone, free food, free housing, free medical care and free "education." Make sure that he has distain for the rich one percent and explain to him why it is only right that they should feed him and care for his every need.

Train him to vote for whoever promises the most free stuff and will raise taxes on the working class to pay for it. If the police stop him for drunk driving or anything else be sure that he has no respect for authority. Train him to call the police pigs and mother fuckers. If they dare to arrest him tell him to fight back and try to take the cops weapon.

Get him to join friendly protest groups that throw bricks at cops and burn peoples property. Smash windows and steal things.

If you can just pass on these values he will fit right in with the brave new world that is developing.

 

[HisArpy]

Your generalizations do you no credit. Keep it coming though. I'm enjoying the spectacle.

You should see an optician.

 

[HisArpy]

I got into the martial arts to hurt people, serious, but the discipline
required prevents this from happening; thugs lack real discipline
and tend to seek their victims by recognizing weakness.




It can be abused and taught badly, that's for sure,
but in the long term it leads to better people.

I think the issue here is that the kid is already on the path to thuggery so his mom doesn't have a "long term" improvement period. He already knows how to recognize weakness and isn't afraid to capitalize on it when he finds it. Even if he finds it in someone he's supposed to love.

Giving this out of control kid the tools to potentially be even more damaging, isn't the smartest idea I've ever heard.

 

[SpeareChucker]

Then maybe we should abolish reform school, i.e., juvenile detention
since they are going to be around people just like them
instead of proven and dedicated role models?

 

[HisArpy]

Then maybe we should abolish reform school, i.e., juvenile detention
since they are going to be around people just like them
instead of proven and dedicated role models?

Punishment and correction are not tools that can be used to harm others.

At 12-14 a male kid is more than strong enough to physically hurt or injure an adult woman. Showing that kid how to do something like that even more easily is just fucking stupid.

OTOH, blistering his backside when he tries it seems to have worked for eons.



Or course there are those who will point to recidivism rates for convicted criminals as justification for eliminating all methods of behavioral reform, but I've not seen any viable alternative short of Heinlein's bunghole solution.

 

[SpeareChucker]

1880 is on the line and wants its memes back...



... especially the beating of children.

 

[Rightguide]

Punishment and correction are not tools that can be used to harm others.

At 12-14 a male kid is more than strong enough to physically hurt or injure an adult woman. Showing that kid how to do something like that even more easily is just fucking stupid.

OTOH, blistering his backside when he tries it seems to have worked for eons.

Big bulls need to tell little bulls what the rules are and give them the horn when they don't listen. The absence of big bulls in the households of inner city youth and elsewhere is the problem.