Abs is PMSing...

Abs, you better today hon?

You missed me and that's why you're so bitchy...come here and let Honey make you feel better.... :kiss:
 
Honey123 said:
Abs, you better today hon?

You missed me and that's why you're so bitchy...come here and let Honey make you feel better.... :kiss:
Much better sweetness, I ate three of those chocolate covered kids this morning.
 
ABSTRUSE said:
Much better sweetness, I ate three of those chocolate covered kids this morning.
Hansel, Gretel and ...

Hey, where's my daughter?
 
ABSTRUSE said:
*picking my teeth with a rib*....can you describe her?
Last seen wearing a red hoody.

I sent her over to your house with a basket of chocolate chip cookies on the theory a girl-child would be the least offensive creature to you just now.
 
Ted-E-Bare said:
Last seen wearing a red hoody.

I sent her over to your house with a basket of chocolate chip cookies on the theory a girl-child would be the least offensive creature to you just now.
Simple fool, everything offends me.


LilRed...red hoody....hmmmm? could it be?.......nah.
 
I have a rough time with PMS, but until the last few months, ovulation has always been much worse for me. Horrible pain, very emotional, a bit on the irrational side.
But none of that even comes close to touching how pregnancy affected me. Particularly with my first, I was moody, angry, sensitive, and completely unable to control myself. I threw a cookie sheet at the ex once, left scars on his arms in a few places from my fingernails. I thought I was going insane and I've always felt really guilty for my behavior. Glad I can blame it on hormones, tho. :)
 
ABSTRUSE said:
Here it is guys, from a hormonal bitches' point of view.

My mood? In one moment I'm sweet as can be but in the blink of an eye I'll chew off your head like a praying mantis during mating season.

I'm bloated and my tits hurt and not in a good way, imagine taping waterballoons to your hairy chest.

I can go to an all you can eat buffet and pull up a chair, snapping and growling at anyone who got too close.

I pray daily to the Goddess of Menopause to send me some hot flashes and get this over with.

It's not a blessed woman fertile loving giving rebirthing new age earth mother fucking wonderful thing....it's a godamn once a month ride down the red rapids trip to hell accompanied by a chocolate coated salt lick and a Cosmo reading week of heating pads and Midol while a pillow is stuffed between your legs.

Wanna know what cramps are like? I'll tell ya, cause I'm on a roll......Imagine doing 400 situps and then having the biggest guy in the gym punch you in the stomach for 20 minutes....then imagine how it feels the next day....that's kinda what cramps are like.

So since it's best I stay clear of the threads here goes:

My mood:
need I say?
Do I delete shit?: Who cares?
what am I listening to?: the voices telling me to strangle the shit out of anyone that asks....are you on the rag?
The Welfare state: I'm a white trash food stamp mother.
Person in History I'm most like?" Lizzie Borden.
Can I kill a Character?: was Aileen Wornos (sp) a nun?
Can a top be topped?: Yes and a bottom can be bottomed.
Someone boosted your stories?: Hunt them down and hurt them

See me in a week for flirting, plugging, reading, cajoling or being human. I'm binging and purging till then. Lives may be lost.


this thread is now open for anyone else in need of a hormonally imbalanced rant and bitch. For those who take offense, get over it...I'm not aiming anything at anyone directly, this is a general bitch so if your overly sensitive...put me on your ignore list...or join the rave.
I must go and sacrifice a human now...or kick something hard.


Are Litizens on the same - lets say it - PERIOD schedule? I got mine today and was - in a professional blog - the most wikkidly catty, yet funny bitch on the, well - blog system. I am surprisingly not bloated, but I do NEED MEAT - RED MEAT and with LOADS of salt. I also have a penchant for spinach, and I call it my Popeye stage.

The best way to describe cramps to men is this: imagine you have to shit - I mean really shit, constipated for days and that ugly sickly feeling that arises when you want to sucker punch as Abs say? Thats called cramps.

There is no Goddess of menopause is there, Abs? If not lets find a name for this Medusa! My mother used to say. "They invented panties, bras, tampons and pads and abortions, but they can't think of a vaccum that just scoops all the crap and gets the week over with and bed sheets clean. :|

Anyhow, I am with you bitch sister, but having read the rest of your post? Cunt sista seems more appropriate. :devil:
 
CharleyH said:
Are Litizens on the same - lets say it - PERIOD schedule? I got mine today and was - in a professional blog - the most wikkidly catty, yet funny bitch on the, well - blog system. I am surprisingly not bloated, but I do NEED MEAT - RED MEAT and with LOADS of salt. I also have a penchant for spinach, and I call it my Popeye stage.

The best way to describe cramps to men is this: imagine you have to shit - I mean really shit, constipated for days and that ugly sickly feeling that arises when you want to sucker punch as Abs say? Thats called cramps.

There is no Goddess of menopause is there, Abs? If not lets find a name for this Medusa! My mother used to say. "They invented panties, bras, tampons and pads and abortions, but they can't think of a vaccum that just scoops all the crap and gets the week over with and bed sheets clean. :|

Anyhow, I am with you bitch sister, but having read the rest of your post? Cunt sista seems more appropriate. :devil:

I love you, Charley. :D

(I think we ARE on the same schedule, yes. :D I've been eating jalapenos like they're going out of style.)
 
CharleyH said:
Are Litizens on the same - lets say it - PERIOD schedule? I got mine today and was - in a professional blog - the most wikkidly catty, yet funny bitch on the, well - blog system. I am surprisingly not bloated, but I do NEED MEAT - RED MEAT and with LOADS of salt. I also have a penchant for spinach, and I call it my Popeye stage.

The best way to describe cramps to men is this: imagine you have to shit - I mean really shit, constipated for days and that ugly sickly feeling that arises when you want to sucker punch as Abs say? Thats called cramps.

There is no Goddess of menopause is there, Abs? If not lets find a name for this Medusa! My mother used to say. "They invented panties, bras, tampons and pads and abortions, but they can't think of a vaccum that just scoops all the crap and gets the week over with and bed sheets clean. :|

Anyhow, I am with you bitch sister, but having read the rest of your post? Cunt sista seems more appropriate. :devil:

OMG! That's the MOST sense one of your posts has EVER made to me! :rose:
 
ABSTRUSE said:
Much better sweetness, I ate three of those chocolate covered kids this morning.

YES!!! It worked! Mouahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! :devil:
 
sophia jane said:
I threw a cookie sheet at the ex once, left scars on his arms in a few places from my fingernails. I thought I was going insane and I've always felt really guilty for my behavior. Glad I can blame it on hormones, tho. :)

Maybe it was just your asshole radar kicking in. :D
 
impressive said:
OMG! That's the MOST sense one of your posts has EVER made to me! :rose:
PMSL!!!

I would hug her but she's a filthy woman now...I'll wait a week.
 
lilredjammies said:
*groan*

How is it that sympathy can make things so much worse? I was talking to a client this morning, and she asked if I had a bad day yesterday (she was in to sign some papers). I immediately worried that I'd been rude and she said no, but I wasn't my usual bouncy self. I did tell her I was trying to quit smoking, and let it go at that, but her being so sweet almost made me cry.

Oh, and lest I forget, I've made about 6 huge mistakes this week, definitive proof (again) that my IQ drops 30-40 points when I have my period.
Blame your ovaries, I do.
 
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