Advice please: unprotected sex

[Goddess_Babe]

Hi guys and girls,

So I have been seeing this very nice man for a few months now. He is going to get a STD test this weekend and I've already undertaken one and came out shiny and clean. Now the thing is, even if we are both STD-free, I still feel nervous about having sex without a condom. I'm on the pill and he could theoretically pull out, but there is still a small risk of getting pregnant and, even though logically if we are both free of STDs the risk of contracting anything serious is minimal, I still would prefer using a condom.

Of course I will be discussing all this with him, but I just wanted to hear your thoughts on the matter. Especially from the Gentlemen on this forum. If you and your partner were both STD free and she used some form of birth control, would it annoy you if she insisted on still using a condom? Even though unprotected sex feels so much better?

Look forward to your replies

GB

 

[Kirk_09]

it is your right as a woman to ask your lover to wear a condom when he fucks you.

and rationally speaking, yes it's very sensible to wear a condom during sex for many reasons.

 

[SpiritRider]

Questions, questions, questions....
Are you two seeing each other exclusively?
After the tests, why are you still having doubts about being unprotected?
So many more, but it sounds like that for some reason you're having trepidations about not using a condom. I'd resolve those issues first.

Always a chance of pregnancy even with you being on the pill. And him pulling out really doesn't help because pre-cum can get you pregnant.

 

[banes27]

Hi guys and girls,

So I have been seeing this very nice man for a few months now. He is going to get a STD test this weekend and I've already undertaken one and came out shiny and clean. Now the thing is, even if we are both STD-free, I still feel nervous about having sex without a condom. I'm on the pill and he could theoretically pull out, but there is still a small risk of getting pregnant and, even though logically if we are both free of STDs the risk of contracting anything serious is minimal, I still would prefer using a condom.

Of course I will be discussing all this with him, but I just wanted to hear your thoughts on the matter. Especially from the Gentlemen on this forum. If you and your partner were both STD free and she used some form of birth control, would it annoy you if she insisted on still using a condom? Even though unprotected sex feels so much better?

Look forward to your replies

GB

Wouldn't be annoyed in the least. I mean yeah, sure, both STD free and there's some form of birth control but if she felt more comfortable about me using a condom than not then that's fine since 1) if it makes her feel more comfortable then the sex would more than likely be better regardless of the condom and 2) double protection against the possibility of pregnancy so it;d be extra-safe and possbily more fun

But that's just me The main point, I guess, is that both (or all ) parties during sex have to be as comfortable as they can with what's going on an all other parties have to respect that fact. Sure, I get more feeling without a condom on but whether that makes sex "better" depends on how comfortable the other person is. If they wouldn't be, then why would I force them into having sex any other way when I could spend a few seconds do a tiny bit more work and have so much more fun

 

[SpiritRider]

Oh, you also asked for opinions...

Personally, I prefer not to wear a condom but it wouldn't bother me to slip one on till the woman was comfortable without using it.

Just my 2c

 

[NightL]

Oh, you also asked for opinions...

Personally, I prefer not to wear a condom but it wouldn't bother me to slip one on till the woman was comfortable without using it.

Just my 2c

...same

 

[TypicalDeviant]

Have him wear a condom. Buy them together if you like (so you get the brand/style you enjoy and trust).

If he's not mature enough to buy condoms with you and wear them when he has sex with you, he's not mature enough for you to have sex with him.

 

[hunkydorey]

First you are doing the right thing by discussing it, communication is impearative. Like anything in life, consider the risk vs reward. Is an unwanted pregancy (risk) worth that little bit better feeling you both might enjoy (condom free)? As far as STD free, are you both sure the other is exclusive only with you? Good luck and good lovin.

 

[SweetErika]

Have him wear a condom. Buy them together if you like (so you get the brand/style you enjoy and trust).

If he's not mature enough to buy condoms with you and wear them when he has sex with you, he's not mature enough for you to have sex with him.

^^^ This.

STI tests and birth control aren't 100%, men aren't even tested for HPV and an astounding number of people cheat, so you have very good reasons for wanting to protect yourself. If pregnancy and/or STIs are a concern, there's no reason you shouldn't use condoms.

 

[CoralineDoll]

^^^ This.

STI tests and birth control aren't 100%, men aren't even tested for HPV and an astounding number of people cheat, so you have very good reasons for wanting to protect yourself. If pregnancy and/or STIs are a concern, there's no reason you shouldn't use condoms.

^^this, however
men CAN get tested, but it is invasive and painful.


and HPV can hide dormant in your body, undetectable and showing up clean for up to ten years.


my advice?

wear a condom until you want to have a baby. if he has a problem with that, then he doesn't love you as much as he says he does because he's not thinking about your concern.

 

[Christopher2012]

OP, so let's say you get an infection and you have to start taking antibiotics. Your OC will no longer work - just an example. No to mention, nothing is 100%, not even condoms.

It's your choice. Weighing the odds is up to you.

And it's your life, not your partner's. Well, it could be your partners if something goes wrong...

 

[satindesire]

Unless you two are strictly monogamous, living together and highly unlikely to cheat on each other, and you're willing to risk (even slightly) the chance of having a baby, use condoms.

Really, no emotionally mature man will bitch about it. Yes, it will feel a little better without condoms (Although ribbed ones can feel just as good as bare skin in my opinion, I love those!) but until you're ready to be a mom, you should double up on your pregnancy prevention. It's just so much safer that way, and you'll feel so much less paranoid.

 

[nfrrdscnnr1]

negotiate

Good relationships almost always have negotiations as a hallmark. Unless your guy is willing to negotiate with you over, and accede to, your wish for condoms, he's not a very good candidate for a long term connection. Exercise your power to negotiate you way to the use of the protection.
N

 

[CowBoy18^]

If you are are more comfortable with him wearing one, then that is all that matters. If he cannot handle that then it is his loss.

Hi guys and girls,

So I have been seeing this very nice man for a few months now. He is going to get a STD test this weekend and I've already undertaken one and came out shiny and clean. Now the thing is, even if we are both STD-free, I still feel nervous about having sex without a condom. I'm on the pill and he could theoretically pull out, but there is still a small risk of getting pregnant and, even though logically if we are both free of STDs the risk of contracting anything serious is minimal, I still would prefer using a condom.

Of course I will be discussing all this with him, but I just wanted to hear your thoughts on the matter. Especially from the Gentlemen on this forum. If you and your partner were both STD free and she used some form of birth control, would it annoy you if she insisted on still using a condom? Even though unprotected sex feels so much better?

Look forward to your replies

GB

 

[charlie069]

******

 

[MaskofSand]

Even in a long time relationship, I still insist he wears one quite often.
I've got BC protection, but it makes me feel better to know he's doing his fair part too.
Hey, I went through the pain of getting that stupid insert. He can unroll a damn condom.

 

[frog_jo]

i'm sorry and i dont mean to be rude but I think its absolutely ridiculous to ask him to wear a condom on top of the pill and the test! I mean if i'm about to have sex with someone I'm wanting to be as close as possible with that person. It seems to me like your separating yourself from him and turning sex into a procedure, thats no fun. Quit worrying and chill

 

[SweetErika]

i'm sorry and i dont mean to be rude but I think its absolutely ridiculous to ask him to wear a condom on top of the pill and the test! I mean if i'm about to have sex with someone I'm wanting to be as close as possible with that person. It seems to me like your separating yourself from him and turning sex into a procedure, thats no fun. Quit worrying and chill

How do you feel about unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted infections? Is sharing those your idea of 'closeness' too?

 

[Belldora]

You can wear a condom

I have been reading about the new condoms for women. They don't look glamorous, but I would think most men would appreciate that you took the initiative to insert it for his enhanced pleasure. These women condoms react to the heat of the vaginal walls and cling to them in such a way that the men don't lose any sensation because the heat sensation is still there, the wetness can be supplied by lubricating jelly and he is not losing any real sensitivity. These new condoms are available on the internet only on a few sites but you can find them by Googling something like feminine condoms for women.

 

[infinity706]

If you do get the female condoms, though, remember that you should never use them at the same time as the male condom.

 

[Tmmldr]

Hi guys and girls,

So I have been seeing this very nice man for a few months now. He is going to get a STD test this weekend and I've already undertaken one and came out shiny and clean. Now the thing is, even if we are both STD-free, I still feel nervous about having sex without a condom. I'm on the pill and he could theoretically pull out, but there is still a small risk of getting pregnant and, even though logically if we are both free of STDs the risk of contracting anything serious is minimal, I still would prefer using a condom.

Of course I will be discussing all this with him, but I just wanted to hear your thoughts on the matter. Especially from the Gentlemen on this forum. If you and your partner were both STD free and she used some form of birth control, would it annoy you if she insisted on still using a condom? Even though unprotected sex feels so much better?

Look forward to your replies

GB

Hmmm....

How about promising oral monring noon and night, plus deep throat, anal play...and you want to use a condom when you have intercourse?

 

[teknight]

If you do get the female condoms, though, remember that you should never use them at the same time as the male condom.

Yes, you'd be committing condom incest....

 

[skate and fuck]

When I have a girlfriend that I'm exclusive with, and after we each know the whole STD situation, I still dont cum inside her vaginally. I bring up the fact that it is her body, and I am not a woman, but the pill brings up a lot of concerns from me. I'm saving the cum inside thing for marraige, to this point I've only came in her asshole. And when shes ovulating I use a condom, theres swimmers that live in the precum.

 

[Red_and_Mackie]

If you are are more comfortable with him wearing one, then that is all that matters. If he cannot handle that then it is his loss.

I agree.

But knowing how safe you will be with the testing and birth control, it makes me wonder: Is there an underlying issue concerning trust with this guy? I've read over your post a few times and I get the feeling there's more to the story?

 

[Vixandra]

If you're not in a position to have a baby with the guy you're having sex with, you should be using a condom. Antibiotics and even some herbal "remedies" can interfere with the effectiveness of birth control pills.

Putting on a condom doesn't have to be a procedure or even a big deal during sex. If loss of sensation is an issue, try the UltraThin ones. Check here: http://www.condom.com/ultrathin.html Personally, I like the Trojan and Lifestyles one but snag a sampler pack. Make it a game of trying a variety of condoms.