AH - not a safe space

[NOIRTRASH]

Its better to leave the ladies alone. They'll whine about THAT too but thems the choices...youre a cad or a misogynist. I embrace my misogyny, let the fools enjoy the girls.

 

[TxRad]

 

[Zeb_Carter]

No Oops, harassment. Cut it out.

Just show those who understand this thread how it's done.

 

[HandsInTheDark]

.
I am not seeing any rose posted, so I am presuming no women you know have ever been harassed? What a lovely part of the world you must inhabit

Sorry, no idea what this rose thing is about. You can presume whatever you wish.

In the flesh, no woman I know well has admitted to me she's been abused. I assume there are stories I have not been told. But yes it's lovely here.

On the net... I used to hang out on websites where people paid to did roleplay. A lot of it was sexual or at least sexualized. I got to know a lot of women behind the characters. I got to know quite a few very, very well. Most told me their stories, and I've heard every kind of tale if woe there is when it comes to abused women. (Sites like that tend to attract abused women because roleplay becomes a form of therapy, with results that seem at best mixed.)

Preteen girl taken to her parents bed and used sexually by both parents, for years? Check. College girl raped in the dorm by three guys, and too shattered to leave even when one mockingly opened the door and dared her to go? Check. Girl molested by what's now called a "gender fluid" lesbian? Check. Abusive husband stories? Checks all over that.

Results? Some appeared to shake it off. Some told me they were frigid, and some of those would incessantly rp rape, but not get off on it. A few became hypersexual and indiscriminate, in effect self destructive. Most were fascinated by noncon rp and even on lit I've talked to women who are deeply turned on by aggressive or forced sex because it's what they know and hence want. There no single pattern to the damage. Some people break and stay broken.

So I get the horror. I've heard the emotion in people's voices. But by the same token I have no respect for women who get the vapors when guys hit on them. Don't whine, take action. Ignore, contact police, get safe, take a self defense course. There are predators in the world and only you are responsible for keeping yourself safe. Shut the asdholes down, early and often. If you let it happen you cease to be a victim, and you're teaching the guy he can get away with it. Some of those guys will end up upping their game in the real world and then there will be more horror stories in the real world.

 

[rjordan]

One person PMed me after seeing the bile in this thread that she is thinking of never posting stories on this site again. That does make me sad and I will try to persuade her to think it over.

You might remind her that the forums have very little or nothing to do with the story side. She can write her stories, post her stories, get a little feedback and move on to the next without any reason to log onto the forums.

I'm a hobbyist writer. I do it for my own satisfaction and entertainment. For that I don't need any part of Literotica. But knowing someone else is going to see it, forces enough discipline to make me clean a story up so someone else can understand it. If it's just going to sit in a folder on my computer, I'm more likely to move onto a new story idea that won't get finished.

For that, I'm grateful for a site like Literotica. The forums don't really add much to that experience. They are more of a social outlet, but I have that from real people who live near me and know me.

She MIGHT pick up a little writing advice now and then on a few of the forums, but not enough that it would be a sole reason to participate in them. The main reason to participate in the forums is the social aspect.

AH reminds me of a typical trade show cocktail party. You might meet a few people who are useful business connections, but not enough that it should be the sole reason for attending. Your time at the convention can be better spent for business purposes.

rj

 

[sr71plt]

You might remind her that the forums have very little or nothing to do with the story side. She can write her stories, post her stories, get a little feedback and move on to the next without any reason to log onto the forums.

The female-name accounts I have here for stories that are quite different from what I write in other accounts have never posted to the forum. And yet they all got mash PMs when they started posting stories. Not many, and they stopped, but they didn't get them for posting to the forum.

But no babysitting or pretending this wasn't an adult site were required to get it stopped.

 

[lovecraft68]

Female authors will get racy flirty or offensive messages througg feedback just from posting stories

A lot of readers seem to assume authors do whatever their stories are about.

They many times assume gender as I get a lot that think I am a woman so I have gotten all types from friendlu to ominous sounding

 

[rjordan]

The female-name accounts I have here for stories that are quite different from what I write in other accounts have never posted to the forum. And yet they all got mash PMs when they started posting stories. Not many, and they stopped, but they didn't get them for posting to the forum.

But no babysitting or pretending this wasn't an adult site were required to get it stopped.

I can understand that. But unwanted contact on the forum side is even easier to avoid than on the story side. Just don't log onto the forums. And screen or turn off PMs.

Story side Comments can just be deleted by the author if they can't ignore them. No need to ever engage them. In fact, sometimes readers resent an author posting to Comments on their own story! They say so.

There is no way to prevent some guys from hitting on women. It's biological, but some have better learned behavior than others. That's not an excuse, it's just an incomplete explanation.

Jon Ronson's The Psychopath Test says ~1% of the general population are psychopaths. Some other groups are likely to have more than that. A group that is centered on sex could certainly be expected to have a much higher percentage. Lit would be a psycho- sociopath magnet. This doesn't necessarily mean axe murderers. Just people who don't have the social filters (conscience, empathy, etc.) that most others have.

So it's up to those who are targeted, women and men, to use the tools and techniques available to protect themselves. You can't turn the sun off, but you can use sunscreen. Looks to me that Lit has sufficient levels of protection available.

rj
#500

 

[rjordan]

They many times assume gender as I get a lot that think I am a woman so I have gotten all types from friendlu to ominous sounding

Wolves don't lose sleep over the opinions of sheep.

 

[sr71plt]

I can understand that. But unwanted contact on the forum side is even easier to avoid than on the story side. Just don't log onto the forums. And screen or turn off PMs.

Story side Comments can just be deleted by the author if they can't ignore them. No need to ever engage them. In fact, sometimes readers resent an author posting to Comments on their own story! They say so.

There is no way to prevent some guys from hitting on women. It's biological, but some have better learned behavior than others. That's not an excuse, it's just an incomplete explanation.

Jon Ronson's The Psychopath Test says ~1% of the general population are psychopaths. Some other groups are likely to have more than that. A group that is centered on sex could certainly be expected to have a much higher percentage. Lit would be a psycho- sociopath magnet. This doesn't necessarily mean axe murderers. Just people who don't have the social filters (conscience, empathy, etc.) that most others have.

So it's up to those who are targeted, women and men, to use the tools and techniques available to protect themselves. You can't turn the sun off, but you can use sunscreen. Looks to me that Lit has sufficient levels of protection available.

rj
#500

I agree with all of that. If what the Web site offers already isn't enough, I don't think the poster is adult or grounded enough to be playing here in the first place. This isn't a Betty Crocker cooking site or a babysitting service. "Stuff" happens on a porn site. Men tooling around on porn sites and hitting on others for their fun isn't something that's going to be subject to a reupholstering project. (And it looks like this thread is predicated by one case of not being able to handle reality on a porn site and sort of a spitting in wind exercise of blaming the many rather than the few who aren't reading this--and are just getting a good laugh if they are reading this.)

 

[NOIRTRASH]

I can understand that. But unwanted contact on the forum side is even easier to avoid than on the story side. Just don't log onto the forums. And screen or turn off PMs.

Story side Comments can just be deleted by the author if they can't ignore them. No need to ever engage them. In fact, sometimes readers resent an author posting to Comments on their own story! They say so.

There is no way to prevent some guys from hitting on women. It's biological, but some have better learned behavior than others. That's not an excuse, it's just an incomplete explanation.

Jon Ronson's The Psychopath Test says ~1% of the general population are psychopaths. Some other groups are likely to have more than that. A group that is centered on sex could certainly be expected to have a much higher percentage. Lit would be a psycho- sociopath magnet. This doesn't necessarily mean axe murderers. Just people who don't have the social filters (conscience, empathy, etc.) that most others have.

So it's up to those who are targeted, women and men, to use the tools and techniques available to protect themselves. You can't turn the sun off, but you can use sunscreen. Looks to me that Lit has sufficient levels of protection available.

rj
#500

My psychopathy scale score on the MMPI is high, my anxiety scale score is first percentile. I'll try anything and never think twice about it, if it appeals to me. But I have no criminal record because most criminal activities have little attraction. But some activities are appealing, and those I avoid or calculate the odds for getting what I want.

 

[rjordan]

My psychopathy scale score on the MMPI is high, my anxiety scale score is first percentile. I'll try anything and never think twice about it, if it appeals to me. But I have no criminal record because most criminal activities have little attraction. But some activities are appealing, and those I avoid or calculate the odds for getting what I want.

Well, that's why I put in the axe murderer disclaimer. That's the first thing people think about when they see the word psychopath. Lost of psychopaths aren't criminals for the reason you mention.

I don't think I'm very high on the scale, though I've never been tested. But whenever I read the characteristics, I have a sudden flash that maybe I'm one! We all have some of the characteristics, just not most of them.

rj

 

[NOIRTRASH]

Well, that's why I put in the axe murderer disclaimer. That's the first thing people think about when they see the word psychopath. Lost of psychopaths aren't criminals for the reason you mention.

I don't think I'm very high on the scale, though I've never been tested. But whenever I read the characteristics, I have a sudden flash that maybe I'm one! We all have some of the characteristics, just not most of them.

rj

What psychopathy means is: Everything is grist for the mill. For everything there is a season, a time, and a purpose.

 

[rjordan]

What psychopathy means is: Everything is grist for the mill. For everything there is a season, a time, and a purpose.

Yea, sometimes their purpose is served by an axe murder, sometimes by hitting on women, sometimes by assuming an online persona. All potentially equal given the right season and the right time.

Lots of them are reflected in the characters in Incest and NC, though not exclusively. Might even be more than a few here in the AH.

rj

 

[Handley_Page]

I agree with all of that. If what the Web site offers already isn't enough, I don't think the poster is adult or grounded enough to be playing here in the first place. This isn't a Betty Crocker cooking site or a babysitting service. "Stuff" happens on a porn site.

I see your point. Pilot, but I think there is no excuse for insulting language or behaviour.

 

[sr71plt]

I see your point. Pilot, but I think there is no excuse for insulting language or behaviour.

No, it doesn't excuse insulting language or behavior (although I asked what Naoko thought about the harassing insulting language and behavior on this, her thread, and she didn't answer, so I guess it's all relative with her. The remote harassment is of interest to her but not the present harassment, I guess. )

Point to where I have excused the insulting language or behavior. I haven't. I've indicated that it's uncontrollable on delivery on a porn site, unless the Web site makes some changes that it's unlikely to make, but I've pointed (as have others) to how I think it should be countered--and usually can be quickly. I think the Web site has provided effective tools to counter it. And I think that those coming on a porn site who aren't expecting some sexual innuendo (yes, especially if they have a provocative account name and avatar and write hard porn stories--those are chosen behaviors too; I don't believe in men being responsible for their language and behavior and women not) aren't adult and grounded enough to be on the site. I think they mostly want their cake and have it too. Life doesn't always work that way--and neither do open porn sites on the Internet.

And my answer to someone who has volunteered to edit and sends dirty photos and propositions (which seems to be what this thread is down to--a single case of that) is to respond that if I hear any more of it, I'll post his account name and harassment on the Editor's forum--and if he follows up, I'd do it.

I occasionally see reference on the Editors forum about what the author considered to be bad or abandoned service, and this is an advice there too. If the Web site isn't going to clean up the editorial program it claims to offer and give some sort of protections to writers against this, I think something like this should go public if it persists. Here we're just getting "men are pigs" generalities and haziness. And, yes, I know this is a favorite "don't expect me to take any responsibility" topic of women--along with some men, some of whom are only doing it to hit on the women.

 

[ishtat]

Caterwauling Tomcats

Every four or five months I go out bush to my cousins property and he, rather more frequently comes to spend a few days with us in the city. He has a big property, about 70,000 acres, way out on the edge of the desert; it's not much use for anything except wildlife and birds, a few scrub cattle, and unfortunately a lot of feral animals, goats, wild dogs, camels, horses, donkeys, pigs, foxes, rabbits and feral cats. "G" has more or less got rid of the browsers, the goats, camels and horses but his pet hate is the feral cats. They grow to 3 or 4 times the size of domestic cats and are devastating to the small wildlife especially the birds.

"G" has a couple of aboriginal families on the property and they take care of the place generally. He has also got the kids on a bounty system with the cats - $5 if they kill a tom $10 for a female- payable on production of the carcass.

This visit was different because my wife came too, she's very much a city girl and only goes bush occasionally.

The first night we were there we were interrupted after we had gone to bed by two tomcats caterwauling - they made a devil of a row and went on and on, sleep was difficult to say the least. In the morning we talked about them to "G." He admitted that the kids had been unable to trap them because they stayed out in the area of the machinery and store sheds, and in any case their parents wouldn't let the kids out at night to catch them.

"How do you put up with the racket?" my wife asked.

"I don't" admitted G. "I just take my hearing aid out. That fixes it, Pilot and LC don't bother me any more."

"What do you call them?"

"Pilot and LC - because they're always quarelling." ("G" Lurks on Lit quite a bit but doesn't post much)

Well we had a bit of a laugh over that and pretty much forgot about it - until the next night. We had hardly been in bed a few minutes when 'Pilot' and 'LC' started up again - yowling and screeching, scratching and snarling, biting and caterwauling. Then it was silent for a few minutes and we settled down, almost; before they got stuck in again. It went on like this for the best part of an hour then my wife, not the most patient of women at the best of times suddenly sat up. "Where does G keep his gun?"

I told her. She got up and a few moments I later heard the front door close. The cats were still going at it full belt, then after some 5 minutes or so the unmistakeable bang - a single shot from a 12 gauge. Then silence, blessed, blessed silence.

In the morning we had breakfast on the verandah. "G" and I had a bit of a debate about dangerous women shooting innocent pussy acts but she wasn't biting so we let it go. Then Lucy turned up.

Lucy is an aboriginal kid about 10 or so, skinny little girl but with more spirit than most people 3 times her size. She was carrying what remained of 'Pilot' and 'LC.'

"$15" she demanded of "G"

"$15, You must be kidding, they're both toms anyway, so that'd only be $10. In any case you didn't kill'em, she did," asserted "G" pointing at my wife.

Lucy stood her ground, she stamped her foot, "You ole bastard," she accused "G", "you said you'd pay for the carcass, you didn't say who had to kill'em. - $15, one tom, one female."

Lucy found an ally - my wife. "Come on "G", pay up, you can't cheat Lucy."

"Alright but it's only $10 for two toms."

Lucy played her master stroke. "How d'you know they're both Toms, look, this ones got no balls."

She was indeed right, the impact of a number 6 cartridge had obliterated any evidence of 'LC's' sexuality, his balls had been blown to smithereens."$15" she repeated. "G" defeated paid up.

Lucy had the last word. "You shot these two?" she asked my wife still hanging onto the remains of 'Pilot' and 'LC.'

My wife nodded assent

"Knew it couldn't've been them two useless bastards," replied Lucy with all the contempt she could muster. And with that affirmation of feminine solidarity she stomped off.

 

[sr71plt]

Aren't you the smug one? Another fallacious equal responsibility judgment from someone who probably comes here to see conflict and enjoys it as long as it isn't his ox being gored. Unless you've made an effort to trace back to how/who these have started and lowered the hammer on the initiator, you're just a smug popcorn popper enjoying the entertainment and are a big part of the problem. I thought better of you.

Considering you posted this after the Moderator asked for this crap to stop and most others were refraining, I can only assume that you couldn't resist preening in your myopic smugness.

 

[legerdemer]

....Here we're just getting "men are pigs" generalities and haziness. And, yes, I know this is a favorite "don't expect me to take any responsibility" topic of women--along with some men, some of whom are only doing it to hit on the women.

Pilot - you're using too broad a brush to paint all of us women. I don't subscribe to the philosophy/outlook you quoted, and I know you know it. Neither does Lynn, and probably others. Just sayin'.

Generalizations suck. The unique case examples for/against an issue are equally fallacious. Some of us try hard not to fall into either trap.

 

[sr71plt]

Pilot - you're using too broad a brush to paint all of us women. I don't subscribe to the philosophy/outlook you quoted, and I know you know it. Neither does Lynn, and probably others. Just sayin'.

Generalizations suck. The unique case examples for/against an issue are equally fallacious. Some of us try hard not to fall into either trap.

I don't think I am. I think the women we are discussing are the ones who expect the site to cater to their sensitivities and protect them from even initial approaches. I don't see where Naoko would have had a reason to post about women who come into sites like this with their eyes open and with the ability to handle being on the site--which unfortunately doesn't include thinking that a thread on the AH is going to change the behavior of some men playing on an open-membership porn site. That's just spitting into the wind right there.

Although I will say that there for a while (not in the last year, as I can remember it), we frequently had threads on here asserting that women could act as sexy as they wanted and none of this should be taken as a signal of any interest unless/until that signal was conveyed (by osmosis?). But I think that that is just wishful thinking of such women and the denial that they have responsibilities too when applied to an Internet porn site (in the office or on the street--yes, but when they enter a porn site to play, they already are understood by certain men to be giving signals--men who aren't going to be changed by threads on a forum). And I believe that women exacerbate this when they pick a provocative account name and slap on a provocative avatar and are writing really steamy stories. It's just the reality of where they are choosing to play. They don't lose all of their responsibility for taking care of themselves and not overdoing the signals.

We also for a while, during the SafeBet and Dyslexia period, had some "kill the bastards; kill all men" threads running. With a lot of cheerleading going on.

 

[HandsInTheDark]

~raised eyebrow~ I thought that was a reasonably decent summary of the thread's direction. I'm surprised that got deleted.

 

[sr71plt]

I'm not.

 

[Handley_Page]

I see your point. Pilot, but I think there is no excuse for insulting language or behaviour.

No, it doesn't excuse insulting language or behavior (although I asked what Naoko thought about the harassing insulting language and behavior on this, her thread, and she didn't answer, so I guess it's all relative with her. The remote harassment is of interest to her but not the present harassment, I guess. )

Point to where I have excused the insulting language or behavior. I haven't. . .

No, Pilot, I do not accuse you so specifically.
You are one of a number of correspondents who seem to make an assumption on something (or some part of a previous entry by someone else), and fall on it like a ton of bricks. To my mind, this merely inspires others to do likewise and it get thoroughly messy from thereon.
But then, it's a personal view, eh ?

 

[sheablue]

Oh my good lord, what has happened to this thread?

I've been trying to catch up, and say my piece, but it has gotten so bogged down I would have had to take notes, but by the time I realize I was going to have to scroll past so much nonsense, I couldn't remember where I wanted to go back and what I wanted to reply to.

I do feel, Handsinthedark, (I think it's you? Forgive me if it's not, it's 3am and I've been reading all of this for a very long time.) that when you say things like this,

"men don't treat each other that way and there's even less genetic incentive to treat women that way." And something else you said about how talking it out is the woman's way of doing things and men will just nod and and smile, gives credence to the terribly outdated and sometimes dangerous manta "Boys will be boys."

Other posters have made mention of how men can't help hitting on women, it's biological. Or some such nonsense. A grown man with half a brain should be able to stop himself from hitting on a woman if he doesn't seem to be getting the green light or if it is an inappropriate place or at an inappropriate time. And I'm not talking about polite "hitting on" like introducing yourself to someone you find attractive and seeing what might happen. I'm talking about the aggressive, can't take "no, I'm not interested" for an answer.

The other half of what you are saying, Handsinthedark, you agree with what Naoko is saying, she is simply telling other women that you don't have to go along with or entertain any kind of uncomfortable attention that you don't want, just because this is a site that deals with erotica, and you ESPECIALLY don't have to deal with someone who has gone out of their way to try to trick you by offering to help you and then demanding some sexual favor in return.

And Pilot, my goodness, I feel like you are misunderstanding Naoko's point entirely. Or maybe you lost the thread of it as I did. First of all, I must disagree with you when you keep saying this is a porn site, and so people have to be grounded enough to handle what goes on in this dirty dirty porn site. Naoko said several times that she is talking mainly to women writers and posters to the AH in general, and cited a specific example of a woman writer who was harassed by someone who pretended to want to help her, but was an asshole.

But you keep talking about women who come her to PLAY and then get all worked up when their PLAY results in unwanted attention. I don't know much about what goes on outside of the AH, and I'm sure it's more porn-y than it is in the AH, but Naoko, I don't think, is not talking about women who come to play in the GB or post pictures of themselves or whatever, she is talking about writers.

I am a writer and I don't come here to play. I come here to write. I take my writing seriously, little attention though it gets and little of it there is at times. When I used to write more BDSM stuff, I got a lot of PMs from men who thought they were Doms and who thought because I wrote what I did, and identified as submissive, that they had a right to demand all kinds of bullshit from me. Yes, I deleted their PMs and totally ignore them. Yes, that made several of them angry, as they felt it was their right to tell me what to do, me being all sub-y and them being all Dom-y and all. Which pointed out to me that they were not real Doms at all, as obviously they did not know how a D/s relationship works. But I am older and wiser and had this D/s stuff mostly figured out before I came here. There are probably a lot of younger, less sure, less confident women who don't realize that subs carry all the power, and a real Dom would not treat a woman like these men were trying to treat me. These women who maybe have some here to figure themselves out could get taken advantage of.

Anyway, I'm rambling just like so many people have caused this thread to. I agree with Naoko. Women, you don't have to be nice, or polite to someone who is giving you unwanted attention. If an editor, or any other writer, offers to help you, and then asks for something inappropriate in return, feel free to report them. You can do more than just ignore. Say something. It doesn't make you weak or whiny. It doesn't mean you have "gotten the vapors" (god is that a sexist remark or what?)

"Boys will be boys" is bullshit. "Men can't help being lecherous assholes" is bullshit. "It's a porn site, you get what you get and you don't get upset" is fucking bullshit. I don't care what name you use or what picture you post as your avatar, no one deserves to get harassed. Too many men still take silence as consent.

I had so many different things to say, but instead I'll just say

 

[NOIRTRASH]

Oh my good lord, what has happened to this thread?

I've been trying to catch up, and say my piece, but it has gotten so bogged down I would have had to take notes, but by the time I realize I was going to have to scroll past so much nonsense, I couldn't remember where I wanted to go back and what I wanted to reply to.

I do feel, Handsinthedark, (I think it's you? Forgive me if it's not, it's 3am and I've been reading all of this for a very long time.) that when you say things like this,

"men don't treat each other that way and there's even less genetic incentive to treat women that way." And something else you said about how talking it out is the woman's way of doing things and men will just nod and and smile, gives credence to the terribly outdated and sometimes dangerous manta "Boys will be boys."

Other posters have made mention of how men can't help hitting on women, it's biological. Or some such nonsense. A grown man with half a brain should be able to stop himself from hitting on a woman if he doesn't seem to be getting the green light or if it is an inappropriate place or at an inappropriate time. And I'm not talking about polite "hitting on" like introducing yourself to someone you find attractive and seeing what might happen. I'm talking about the aggressive, can't take "no, I'm not interested" for an answer.

The other half of what you are saying, Handsinthedark, you agree with what Naoko is saying, she is simply telling other women that you don't have to go along with or entertain any kind of uncomfortable attention that you don't want, just because this is a site that deals with erotica, and you ESPECIALLY don't have to deal with someone who has gone out of their way to try to trick you by offering to help you and then demanding some sexual favor in return.

And Pilot, my goodness, I feel like you are misunderstanding Naoko's point entirely. Or maybe you lost the thread of it as I did. First of all, I must disagree with you when you keep saying this is a porn site, and so people have to be grounded enough to handle what goes on in this dirty dirty porn site. Naoko said several times that she is talking mainly to women writers and posters to the AH in general, and cited a specific example of a woman writer who was harassed by someone who pretended to want to help her, but was an asshole.

But you keep talking about women who come her to PLAY and then get all worked up when their PLAY results in unwanted attention. I don't know much about what goes on outside of the AH, and I'm sure it's more porn-y than it is in the AH, but Naoko, I don't think, is not talking about women who come to play in the GB or post pictures of themselves or whatever, she is talking about writers.

I am a writer and I don't come here to play. I come here to write. I take my writing seriously, little attention though it gets and little of it there is at times. When I used to write more BDSM stuff, I got a lot of PMs from men who thought they were Doms and who thought because I wrote what I did, and identified as submissive, that they had a right to demand all kinds of bullshit from me. Yes, I deleted their PMs and totally ignore them. Yes, that made several of them angry, as they felt it was their right to tell me what to do, me being all sub-y and them being all Dom-y and all. Which pointed out to me that they were not real Doms at all, as obviously they did not know how a D/s relationship works. But I am older and wiser and had this D/s stuff mostly figured out before I came here. There are probably a lot of younger, less sure, less confident women who don't realize that subs carry all the power, and a real Dom would not treat a woman like these men were trying to treat me. These women who maybe have some here to figure themselves out could get taken advantage of.

Anyway, I'm rambling just like so many people have caused this thread to. I agree with Naoko. Women, you don't have to be nice, or polite to someone who is giving you unwanted attention. If an editor, or any other writer, offers to help you, and then asks for something inappropriate in return, feel free to report them. You can do more than just ignore. Say something. It doesn't make you weak or whiny. It doesn't mean you have "gotten the vapors" (god is that a sexist remark or what?)

"Boys will be boys" is bullshit. "Men can't help being lecherous assholes" is bullshit. "It's a porn site, you get what you get and you don't get upset" is fucking bullshit. I don't care what name you use or what picture you post as your avatar, no one deserves to get harassed. Too many men still take silence as consent.

I had so many different things to say, but instead I'll just say

You cant be more wrong, on almost every point you offer.

Prople are what they were 10,000 years ago. They haven't changed one iota. Fads come and go, but fads aren't change. The common factors for all here are: Low intelligence, cowardice, narcissism, functional psychosis, and industry that's more like the dead than the living.

Einstein said it more than a century ago: Your results conform to the statistics. If youre not near the one you fuck, you fuck the one youre near. AH is not where anyone goes to learn about writing. Its a place where a few dogs sit in the manger and chase writers away.